Before - Legends "A disturbance in the Force." JA apprentice - Obi-Wan -Qui-Gon. - 18th Mar 2013.

Title: A disturbance in the Force.
Author: GKilkenny
Rating: PG
Time Period: JA Apprentice-Before the Saga
Characters: Obi-Wan,Qui-Gon and a few others.
Genre: H/C Angst, Drama
Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and I am just writing for fun.
Feedback: Would be great.

This is for all those Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fans if there are any left.


***





Blaster fire pierced a hole in the air as the orange streak roared towards him yet he couldn’t move from its path. A blossom of pain filled his lungs and sent massive vibrations through his body. Instantly, a pungent smell invaded his nostrils; it was the awful odour of burnt flesh and for a split moment, he wondered what was burning.

His first instinct was to lift his hands up to the offending agony that had ripped through his chest. Time seemingly drew to a standstill and he willed his hands to move quicker, as if they could stop the burning pain with just one touch.

His second was to dip his head to see what had caused such a magnitude of pain to fill every fibre of his body, but a sensation of heaviness crept up his arms as they slowly made their way up to touch his chest. Nerves twitched and tingled, and confusion set in.

He raised his eyes just in time to see someone tackle the shooter, and for a split second, he berated himself for allowing someone to sneak up on him without sensing it in the Force. Perhaps it was because his mind was full of self loathing and painful memories already, and his thoughts were so far away that he was unable to focus on the ‘here and now.’

Slowly he registered that there were voices yelling out. Were they shouting at him?



Through the rush of pain slicing through his entire body, he struggled to focus on the voice. (Is he shouting at me?) The words baffled him and he tried to turn, but his legs were shaking and abruptly they turned to jelly and numbness crept up his limbs.

He was staring at the shooter who was being tackled to the ground with two men struggling to disarm him and he tried to keep his eyes focused on the scene unfolding, but an expanse of blue filled his vision, such a beautiful blue he thought; so clear and crisp, it was the sky and the outline of a white dove glided into view. He didn’t recall that he’d looked up to the sky, yet that was all he could see as a sensation of falling backwards filled him.

Unexpectedly, he felt arms stop his slow progression to the ground and then they were holding him up. Sadly his view of the beautiful white dove was blocked by the outline of a man, he tried to move his head so he could see the dove again, but the effort to move his head was beyond him.

Did he know this man? For some reason he couldn’t remember, but he was sure once the pain stopped it would come back to him. The man towered over him and strangely, his head and shoulders seemed to be glowing. However, he realised the sun was silhouetting the man’s head and shoulders making it look like he glowed. His hair was white and hung around his face and his chin was covered in a white beard.

At first, he smiled at the vision because he thought it was the Force coming to take him home. However, the man’s face was contorted in anguish and worry, and a funny notion occurred to him. If it was the Force coming to claim him, his face wouldn’t be filled with sadness, but with joy.

There were other faces peering at him now, and a strange expression on the bearded man’s face made him think about the moment. A flash of light imprinted itself in his brain and suddenly he remembered what happened. It didn’t occur to him that they already knew what had transpired and he opened his mouth to tell them.

(I’ve been shot.) He could hear a grating sound coming from his throat and he took in a breath, but pain erupted behind his tonsils and he suddenly felt like he was drowning. Liquid oozed up his throat, and into his mouth. He couldn’t breathe and he coughed, causing liquid to dribble down the side of his mouth.



His instinct told him not to panic, but the lack of air being drawn in to his lungs overrode his impulse and fear did fill him. (I’m drowning, somebody help me!)

His brain was registering that someone was talking to him, but what was the use of listening if he couldn’t talk back. Abruptly, he felt pressure on his chest and he looked down to see why. There was a hand resting over his heart and the man was telling him something, (layback - just relax,) but he wanted to see what was happening, but there was gentle pressure on his forehead as a hand pushed his head back. Nevertheless, before he complied he could see red liquid oozing through the man’s fingers. (What is that?)

He could sense the Force around him and he sought it. There was a sensation of peace filling every portion of his brain and he relaxed. He could still distinguish that there were people gathering around him. However, the more he tried to recognise them the more his sight waned and soon all the shapes and colours blended into one big blob.



Pressure around his mouth sent fear shooting into his heart and for an instant; he thought they were preventing him from breathing. It was a horrible feeling. Nevertheless, a flow of cool air replaced his apprehension with gratitude, as it pushed past his constricted throat and sent much needed air into his lungs.



“Is he dead?” A concerned voice asked.

“No, I’ve put pressure on the wound and it has slowed the bleeding, but we must hurry and get him to the medical centre.” Another voice answered.

In the fog of his confusion, he strained to understand their words, (Who is dead?) He thought.

Suddenly, he felt like he was moving and although he couldn’t see anything but blurry colours he could hear the crunch of boots stepping onto hard ground. It sounded like an army was marching right past him. His inquisitive nature would normally give him pause to look at the army, but his feelings of weakness prevented him from even caring. Up until this moment it hadn’t registered that something was terribly wrong with him.

Now he could sense a different voice calling to him. This one he’d recognised from his meditations. It was the voice of the Force, it beckoned him to close his eyes and follow the flow. Strangely, he was aware that all his pain was fading away and he closed his eyes and listened to the voice. It was soothing and comforting and he knew without a doubt that he could trust that voice and he relaxed. Deep within him, he could sense that all would be well. His last conscious thought was of the Force caressing his aching body.

 

You really got into our "victim's" confused senses. So good to see a new story from you - especially a new Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon.

 

If you ever need a die-hard Obi/Qui fan, I'm right here. To be honest, that's all I ever read on here (no offense to the other characters).

Great start by the way. If you kill him off (which I don't think you have the heart to ) I will be very cross with you. PM's please?

 

I'm a fan of Qui-Gon for sure. And Obi-Wan is terrific!

I would love PMs when you update.

Hugs!

 

Ahhh, a Jedi Apprentice era story. How I do love this.

 

Definitely a Qui/Obi fan..almost as much as a Siriwan fan, just not here as much, and working on my story when I am a lot of the time, but I'm glad to see a new story from you..but I'm also concerned as it seems Our Obi-Wan is in very serious trouble...

Very nice beginning.

 

Yay for JA-era fics

Love the start, can't wait for more.

 

Thanks for the kind PM.



Of course I am interested, not only because it is about Qui Gon & Obi Wan written in an interesting way. All the things you do have power and drive. Take the first act of this story, sucking me in. I almost felt like being shot myself.

*checks if it was indeed not one of her two students that followed her in blind range for letting both of them write 200 times "I will never forget my extra work again."... and luckily finds her house empty apart from her husband*

Oh well, Anakin is the only person I knew that ever killed a former mentor of his and he is a fictional character.

Anyway, I lose your emotional roller coasters that are attached to a story full of mystery, believable characters, a balance between darkness & light and jolly good dialogues.



Consider me in!

 

Yes and what an exciting beginning.

PM's please

 

What a fantastic beginning! I'd love to read more. PM please.

 

I like the line about wanting to turn and look at the marching army... totally true

 

Valairy_Scot
Ah yes the victim, is having a bad time. Thanks, I wanted to keep you and other Obi/Qui fans here, so another story hopefully will do that.

Shira_Adola
So glad that you are a fan and writing Obi stories too, I?m not an Obi killer, but there is always a first time. So, how cross will you be? pm?s certainly.

Jade_eyes
Yes I like Qui-Gon too, pm?s for sure.

The1stJediPrincess
I?m partial to Jedi apprentice era myself.

obimom
Siriwan is another of my favs too, and yes someone is in trouble, time will tell who.

nickenobi-nz
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it.

AzureAngel2
Your welcome and thank you, I will keep up the excitement if I can.

earlybird-obi-wan
Certainly will send you pm?s and thanks for your support.

charlie
I will send you pm?s thanks for reading.

Ocelotl_Nesto
Strange things go through the mind when confusion sets in I?m glad you like it.


Now on with the post... Thoughts in italics





~~Fifteen minutes earlier~~



Master Qui-Gon Jinn squeezed his com-link tightly; he’d taken it out to call Master Yoda. He knew the old Master would be disappointed to find out that he’d gone against his wishes. He could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage as he watched the Shuttle Sierra lift off from the now deserted shuttle port. He couldn’t take his eyes off the small insignificant craft. It wasn’t anything special, just a dull grey passenger craft. Yet, as it streaked into the atmosphere decreasing in size the higher it climbed, he was overcome by a sense of loss that spread through his body. The sky was clear, the sun was shining brightly, and for a brief moment; the sun and the Sierra crossed paths.

A brilliant flash of light bounced off the Sierra to wink back at Qui-Gon. He abruptly felt his skin bristle and the hairs on his arms stood up on their ends. The feeling wasn’t at all what he wanted to experience.

A few minutes ago, he’d wanted nothing more than to be alone, and he’d done more than he should have to convince his travelling companion that their journey together was over. He felt ill at ease standing out in the open, even though his wish had been granted and now he ‘was’ alone.

In retrospect that concept made him feel even more uncomfortable than he imagined ever feeling. His internal struggle to come to grips with his very recent decisions blocked his senses and he failed to hear the approach of a dust storm. It only took a few seconds for the full force of it to batter him.

He struggled to lift his hood up for protection from the biting particles and it took a few more moments to pull his robe around him. He glanced across to the small shed that he and his companion had been in before the shuttle arrived. He didn’t really want to go back in there, but this storm was blowing a gale and he’d had enough of walking through dust storms when he was Dooku’s apprentice.

He hurried back into the room and closed the door leaning on it and focused his vision on the bench where they’d sat while waiting for the Sierra to arrive. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself and he opened up to the Force. He felt residual pain and anxiety lingering in the room. He also felt that the Force seemed to be in an agitated state and he was perplexed by the sensation - for he’d been sure that he’d done the right thing, but maybe the Force thought he could have handled it better.

Dust particles battered the window pulling his attention away from the bench to it and he moved to place his hand on the pane, which brought back a memory concerning his former Master, Dooku.

ooo

They’d completed a mission on some Force forsaken planet and the people they’d been sent to help had warned them of an approaching dust storm. Qui-Gon envisioned that they would wait until the storm passed before they left the village as he had no desire to trudge through a storm and then spend the next few hours cleaning his dusty clothes. Nevertheless, his Master was adamant that they’d be fine and that they were leaving immediately.

Qui-Gon was on the verge of becoming a knight and presumed his Master would recommend him for the trials soon. Therefore, he felt he could question Dooku about his decision to trudge through a storm when it wasn’t necessary. He was a strong willed apprentice and he’d disagree with his Master whenever it seemed appropriate or if it was something that Qui-Gon determined was in their best interests.



However, Dooku wasn’t a man who took kindly to someone questioning his authority, which saw them at loggerheads with each other. Dooku had a habit of making Qui-Gon feel insignificant in his presence and out of stubbornness, even when Qui-Gon was right; Dooku would do the opposite.

Consequently, they were walking back to their ship through the blinding blizzard. Several times Qui-Gon had pointed out to Dooku that they were off course and were heading in the wrong direction. He remembered the biting words they had spoken to each other when Dooku wouldn’t listen to Qui-Gon and continued in the wrong direction, only to end up passing the same burnt out building that they’d passed before.

He’d told his Master that he was arrogant and stubborn and that he’d be thankful to the Force once he achieved knighthood. He also expressed his opinion that he thought Dooku should refrain from teaching anymore students if he couldn’t focus on the here and now, or allow his senior padawan to question his decisions. It was the final straw for Qui-Gon and he petitioned the Council to let him take the trials as soon as they returned to the temple.

ooo

Qui-Gon shuddered when he realised that it was a dust storm like this one that had seen his apprenticeship to Dooku end and Dooku’s resignation from the order.

They’d been together for fifteen years and yet he felt no remorse or sadness once his tenure with Dooku had ended. However, standing in this room thinking about a boy whom he’d spent but a few days with brought to mind something he swore he’d never do. He would never deliberately make someone feel less than they were or be insensitive to their feelings as his master had done to him.

However, he’d done just that to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

A twig hit the window, bringing him out of his musings and he flipped open his com-link; it was time to inform the Council. He waited impatiently to be connected to Yoda who was in a Council meeting. The Padawan receptionist had put him on hold while he transferred the call. He tapped his fingers against the window and a smile lit up his usual stern expression when he noticed the storm abating, it had only been a few minutes since he’d come back in here, but it felt like a lifetime. He supposed he could wait until he got back to Coruscant to tell them of his decision, but for some reason he felt it was important to let them know as soon as possible.

“Master Yoda here?”

“Master Yoda, it’s Qui-Gon and I’m still on Bandomeer. As you already know, the Monument was attacked and we were late in getting to the planet. The mission that I was sent here to mediate on has been postponed until another time and I know you had hopes that I would change my mind and take another apprentice. Nevertheless, with all due respect to you and the Council, I feel it isn’t in my best interest to take another apprentice. I believe I’ve followed the will of the force as I see it and sent initiate Kenobi to the Agri-corps. I will be returning to Coruscant on the next available flight.” Qui-Gon felt a touch of relief fill him getting that of his chest, but he was surprised at the coldness in Yoda’s response.

“Never where young Obi-Wan is concerned, have you followed the will of the Force. That boy was your last hope Qui-Gon. Bring you back from the brink of darkness he was destined to do, the force is strong in Obi-Wan, and meant to be together you were, much he will sacrifice in his lifetime, sense it I do, but know this Qui-Gon save you he would. Bitter and insensitive you have become and if change your ways you do not, down the same path as your old Master you will travel.”



“Dooku? He is conceited and selfish and he almost ruined my chances of becoming a Knight. You of all people knew how manipulative he was and he has turned his back on the Jedi order to serve himself and satisfy his own desires.”

“Speaking of Dooku or yourself are you? Your indifference to Obi-Wan’s future is no different to that which you speak of. A great Jedi I foresee him becoming under your tutelage. Nothing but darkness do I sense now.”

“That’s why I didn’t take him Master Yoda; I sense that if he’s trained he will end up going down the same dark path as-”

“Silent you will be! Of the light Obi-Wan is. Hear disparaging words about him from you I will not!” Yoda said as he waved his hand and cut off communications with Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon felt like he’d been slapped hard, Master Yoda had never spoken to him with such disapproval before and it made him feel like he’d just swallowed a rope and it was knotting itself in his stomach. His initial reaction was a feeling of indignation.

He felt heat rise and congregate in his chest like a bad case of indigestion. Why should he be the one to feel like he’d done something wrong? If Yoda thought so highly of Obi-Wan, then why did he send him to Bandomeer?

Qui-Gon put his communicator in his pocket and in his frustration waved his hand out in front of him. The door flew open with the power of the Force and it crashed against the wall. He stormed out and headed for the main spaceport, which was just around the corner.

Every step he took he felt his bitterness rising, he’d made the right decision. He wasn’t ready to take another apprentice, after the failure of his last one, but Yoda’s words about Dooku hit him hard.

He was nothing like his old master, how dare Yoda compare them as being the same. His resentment built as he turned the corner and his face showed his disgust when he saw how busy the spaceport was. He was in no mood to be patient and he pushed past people who were doing exactly what he wanted to do, get off the planet.

“Hey watch it fella, who do you think you are? We were here first so wait your turn!” A man snapped at him as he tried to push past.



He felt his ire at the whole situation bubbling just under the surface and he was almost going to tell the man, just who he was, and that he would be wise not to get in his way. Abruptly, Yoda’s words came rushing to his mind. (Bitter and insensitive you have become and if change your ways you do not, down the same path as your old Master you will travel.”)

He stood towering over the man who’d berated him a few seconds before, and he suddenly realised he’d lost control of his emotions. He needed to back off and clear his head and remember the ‘here and now’.

“My apologies, please forgive my rudeness,” he said bowing to the man who had no intention of backing down. He didn’t wait for the man to respond, he needed to clear his head and think about everything that had transpired.

People were pushing and shoving one another as a voice rang out over the loudspeaker that those with tickets were being loaded now for the next flight to Coruscant. Qui-Gon heard the call and frowned. He hadn’t bought a ticket yet nor had he arranged for a pass as a Jedi ambassador, which usually got him on board at no cost. He felt his frustration rising now because he found he didn’t want to leave Bandomeer just yet. The last fifteen minutes were beginning to become the worst minutes of his life and he felt a strong feeling of guilt and regret fill him and a subtle warning through the Force that made him feel on edge.

He glanced back in the direction of the small shuttle bay port. He could go back there to that room and meditate on controlling his emotions -Yes that’s what he’d do.

Nevertheless, getting out of the spaceport was going to be harder than he thought. The disturbance he’d felt in the Force was growing stronger and he noticed several men arguing with a taller white haired man. He sensed a disturbance, but could not grasp whether it was them that was causing the sinking feeling racing through his body or something else. Their argument was becoming quite heated and he saw one of the men resting his hand on his blaster and was on the verge of drawing it. Qui-Gon glanced around and thought that the quarrel would escalate into something fatal if someone didn’t intervene.

His aggravation rose at the people arguing because in his state of mind he didn’t want to sort out their problems now that he realised he had major problems of his own to sort through.

Nevertheless, at this point, he was a Jedi and it was his job to keep the peace. The warning he was receiving through the Force was becoming quite prolific and he struggled to keep his mind clear and on the situation at hand. He rested his hand on his sabre as he made his way through the crowd to where the men were threatening to begin blasting each other.…

 

Great writing will keep me here, don't worry. I'm just not sure *I* will be *writing* any more; I just feel that I'm taking away valuable board space from others who continue to give great entertainment, much as you do.

Anyway, even without Obi-Wan in this post, great job. Either the Force or Yoda is finally getting through to Qui-Gon.

 

A great post seeing more of Qui-Gon and his past with Dooku.

Nice that Yoda is trying to get some sense in Qui-Gon

 

Wow! Great intense and roiling thoughts and thought-provoking flashbacks.

Yes, there is definitely a connection and correlation there as Yoda pointed out, in exactly those ways, bitterness is corrosive and self-destructive and it is a disservice to everyone to automatically assume Obi-Wan will be a repeat of the trgedy that went beforehand; that Qui-Gon's former apprentice was sucked in by the Dark side was that one's free choice. If Qui-Gon questions anything, he might question his teaching skills or example, which I didn't see as at fault, but it's unfair to call into question the innate integrity of another without giving them a chance.

 

How cross will I be? How cross will I be? Oh, there are so many evil cliffies in my story just waiting to happen!
I suggest you tread carefully, my friend.

Ok, I thought for sure that it was Obi who had been shot. Apparently I was wrong.

Dooku had a habit of making Qui-Gon feel insignificant in his presence and out of stubbornness, even when Qui-Gon was right; Dooku would do the opposite.
*sniggers* I can totally see this happening!

?Silent you will be! Of the light Obi-Wan is. Hear disparaging words about him from you I will not!? Yoda said as he cut off communications with Qui-Gon.
You tell him Yoda!

Every step he took he felt his bitterness rising, he?d made the right decision. He wasn?t ready to take another apprentice, after the failure of his last one, but Yoda?s words about Dooku hit him hard.
*rages* As well they should you stubborn gundark of a Jedi Master!

 

Nevertheless, at this point, he was still a Jedi and it was his job to keep the peace. The warning he was receiving through the Force was becoming quite prolific and he struggled to keep his mind clear and on the situation at hand. He rested his hand on his sabre as he made his way through the crowd to where the men were threatening to begin blasting each other.?


Of course you keep the excitement going, hon. But also plots, cliffhangers and awesome characters in new contexts.

 

Interesting that Obi is being sent off... perhaps master Yoda will take him on... if Qui Gon doesnt get in some meditation.

 

Very interesting and great writing! I'm sorry I couldn't get to this before but I'm definitely looking forward to reading more!! You can send me pm's if it's not too much trouble

 

Another great chapter. More soon? Happy Holidays

 

Valairy_Scot

There is always enough valuable space for everyone and we have to keep the Obi-Wan?s and Qui-Gon?s up at the top. Just meditate for a little while and then proceed onwards. Don?t worry, Obi-Wan is in this post.

earlybird-obi-wan
Dooku and Qui-gon were similar I think, and Yoda knows that Obi-Wan will be good for Qui-Gon.

Jade_eyes
So true, it was the formers free choice to turn as it is Qui-Gon?s to imagine that all will follow in his footsteps. Qui-Gon will not question his tactics until it is too late it seems. Thanks for reviewing.

Shira_Adola
Ummm, I suppose I will have to be careful or hide from you. I cannot tread carefully and go where I have to go. Now we don?t know yet who has been shot it could be any one, time will tell. I will warn you that tissues will be required, maybe half a box.


AzureAngel2
Nail biting excitement coming and some angst as well. There is danger everywhere.

Ocelotl_Nesto
Yoda has sent him off to save Qui-Gon, but you know how that can backfire.

serendipityaey
Life is always hectic and I will send you pm?s. thanks for reading.

charie
Holidays got in the way of a post, but now I have one for you.

ooo


~~Thirty minutes earlier…~~

Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon through the spaceport; the Master hadn’t said a word to him since they’d left the Senator of Bandomeer’s office. He’d been surprised that Qui-Gon had allowed him to accompany him into the office in the first place and he’d felt Qui-Gon’s annoyance with the senator through the Force when he was told that his mission to oversee the signing of a treaty between the Home planet-mining Corporation and Off world Corporation had been postponed for a month because he’d been late in arriving on Bandomeer.



So much had happened on the Corellian barge called the Monument, which was the ship that brought them here. First the Hutt’s who were bringing workers to Bandomeer, had a disagreement with the Arconan’s another group of sentient beings that were heading for the Agri-corps, and during the ensuing arguments, he’d worked alongside Qui-Gon to ease tensions and settle their dispute.

Then they’d been attacked by Togorian Pirates and during the ensuing battle the captain and co-pilot had been killed. He’d been sent by Qui-Gon to pilot the ship while the Master helped the Hutt’s and the Arconan’s repair some of the damage that had occurred in the battle.

Piloting such a large ship had been quite nerve racking for Obi-Wan and he was relieved when they finally set foot on solid ground. It had been a harrowing experience and something that Obi-Wan never dreamed would happen to him.

He’d come to acknowledge through their hazardous exploits on the trip that the Force he thought he knew, was more complicated and powerful than he’d imagined. It had humbled him seeing Qui-Gon use it to help them and he tried to understand how difficult it would be for a Master to accept an initiate that had a tendency to be reckless and hasty and lacking when it came to the living Force.

He’d learned a lot in the last few days and he recognised that taking an apprentice was an immense responsibility for a Jedi Master. His respect for Qui-Gon had grown and he felt a connection to him, even though they weren’t bonded. The Force sang to him and conveyed its approval and he hoped that Qui-Gon would change his mind and take him as his apprentice.

However, he could tell the man was proud and wouldn’t take kindly to being constantly harassed with his pleadings. Therefore, Obi-Wan would take heed of the Forces urgings. The message had been clear, ‘be patient and all will be well.’

Now he was standing in the spaceport waiting for Qui-Gon to speak to him.

“Wait here Obi-Wan, I’m going to the ticket office.”

“Yes Master Jinn.” Obi-Wan said with optimism in his voice. A feeling of expectation rose in him as he watched Qui-Gon’s robe billow as he strode across the spaceport.

The flickering sign ‘ticket’s here,’ caught Obi-Wan’s attention. Was Qui-Gon buying them tickets to return to the temple? Oh how he’d prayed to the Force for such a miracle. Yet he felt opposing emotions fill him, he wanted to believe, expect or hope that his wish would come true, but his fear of rejection sat heavy in his soul.

Qui-Gon was an enigma to him and no matter how much he wanted to be accepted by him; he couldn’t shake the bad feeling that his future may not be with Qui-Gon.

A sinking feeling filled him as Qui-Gon walked back and he tried to bolster his confidence and kept repeating the mantra, ‘be patient’.

“Here’s your ticket, the shuttle bay is just around the corner. We have a few minutes before the ‘Sierra’ arrives. There’s a shelter there that we can sit in while we wait for it.”

“The Sierra?” Obi-Wan asked anxiously.

“Yes it’s the Agri-corps shuttle, and it will take you to your destination.”



“Oh, I see.” Obi-Wan managed to say as his mouth went dry and his heart ached as though it had just cracked open. Qui-Gon wasn’t going to change his mind. Obi-Wan felt it in every fibre of his being. He tried not to expose the emotions that were bouncing around his body, as Qui-Gon began to speak.

“Obi-Wan, I want to explain some things to you!”

“E-explain… What is there to explain?” he forced, keeping his voice from wavering.

“On the Monument you had moments where you controlled your anger and your impulsiveness. However, those moments were far and few between. Several times when I gave you an order, you disagreed with it and wanted to put your own opinion forward. ”

Obi-Wan thought back to the monument, and he remembered when Qui-Gon told him to go to the bridge and fly the ship. Fear had filled him and he’d argued that he’d be more help by his side. Qui-Gon had grasped his arms and told him to listen to him and do as he was told. At the time, Obi-Wan didn’t realise that if someone didn’t fly the ship, the pirates may have succeeded in taking control. He’d been nervous; after all he was just an initiate that had been thrown into the virtual deep end and had been expected to perform like a seasoned apprentice.

Nevertheless, in the end he’d done his duty and saved the ship from being overrun. He wanted to say that he’d obeyed him in the end, but he knew that he’d been rash and he thought patience – speak with patience and humility.

“You are right Master Jinn, I was scared and I apologise for my disrespect. I realise that without the proper training I’ll always be impetuous, but I learned a lot on the Monument and I’m grateful for the trust you placed in me when you asked me to pilot the ship.” Obi-Wan held on to his composure as he spoke, praying that Qui-Gon was testing him.

Qui-Gon was astounded that Obi-Wan had taken his rebuttal without losing his composure, but that wouldn’t do, he had to convince the boy that the agri-corps was the best place for him.

“Obi-Wan I sense that you believe I’ll change my mind about you. Well you’re mistaken. I won’t change my mind and you’ll have to get used to that fact. Your path does not coincide with mine and I have no intention of rescuing you from the difficult situations you seem to put yourself in.”

Obi-Wan felt his composure cracking and he drew the Force around him holding back his pain.

“Master Jinn, I don’t wish to be disrespectful, but I didn’t cause the problems on the Monument and how you can you say that our paths do not head in the same direction. When we were fighting the pirates, I distinctly heard your voice in my head, and I know that when I sent a plea for help, you heard me. I was taught that only Jedi connected by a bond could hear each other. Doesn’t that mean we have a bond growing between us? Isn’t it the will of the Force when that happens?”

“What do you know about the will of the Force? You didn’t let the Force guide you on the Monument. You let your emotions rule you. You charged the pirates recklessly and fought like a dangerous man, like there was no tomorrow. Your impatience will one day be the death of you or me if I took you as my apprentice.”

“M-master Jinn, I didn’t expect to be in a life and death struggle on my way to Bandomeer and after my initial fear, I felt the Force guide me in piloting a ship that I had no knowledge of and I don’t believe it was impatience that filled me, it was concern for everyone on the ship.”

“As a Jedi you must keep a clear mind and concentrate on the ‘here and now,’ you have no such ability. Your mind is full of your own selfish wants and needs. You say that you want to be a Jedi and yet you cannot control your emotions.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t handle this kind of pressure and he could feel his self-control slipping. He could sense that Qui-Gon was letting his own emotions rule him too, which annoyed him.

Obi-Wan was trying so hard to ‘be patient’ but the provocation was too much for him to bear and before he could stop himself the dam wall that was holding back all the pain and anguish burst open.

“Please Master Jinn, if you don’t take me as your apprentice, there’ll be no tomorrow for me! My impatience comes from my worry about being sent to the agri-corps and if my impatience kills me then I probably deserved it. Nevertheless, I would never put my Master at risk. How could you even suggest that? I watched you on the monument and at times it appeared that you found it difficult to keep your thoughts in the ‘here and now’ yourself! In my heart I know I’m meant to be a Jedi, yet no one will give me a chance.”

Qui-Gon had hoped he could have walked away from the boy without tearing him apart, but he sensed that Obi-Wan was as stubborn as he was. “You have to earn the right to be given a chance,” he said abruptly, but immediately regretted his words.

“Obi-Wan, I didn--”

Obi-Wan felt the sting of tears fill his eyes and his mind filled with such anguish that he couldn’t hold back and cut Qui-Gon’s words off. “I think you’ve said enough! I think you wanted me to die on the Monument, and you’re angry because I didn’t. Were you always so cruel, did you treat your former apprentice like this, did you hate him as much as you hate me?”

“You know nothing about me initiate Kenobi, and you certainly have no right to speak about things that do not concern you!”

“You called me dangerous! Well I think that gives me the right to defend my honour. I heard that you – killed - your former apprentice’s Father! If I’m so dangerous then what does killing him make you?” Obi-Wan couldn’t control himself now, the tension in his body overflowed and he stood shaking with his hands balled into fists.

“At the temple you said that I am likely to turn to the dark side – well I would never turn and I would kill myself first – But I’m not so sure about you - if this is the way you treat an initiate that has done nothing to you, then you could easily turn and I think you just might!”

The words that Obi-Wan threw back at Qui-Gon hit their mark. He could see the shadow of anguish that crossed Qui-Gon’s face. Obi-Wan hadn’t meant to speak of such things. He’d heard the rumours around the temple about Qui-Gon killing his former padawan’s father during a mission, and even though he’d heard that it was in self defence, Obi-Wan couldn’t stop the words from hurting the man. He realised he’d made a big mistake in accusing Master Jinn of foul play and he regretted opening his mouth. He sensed the boiling emotions building in Qui-Gon and he waited for the hammer to fall.

“Once again you’ve proven to me that your anger and spitefulness is festering inside you. You are a prime candidate to turn to the dark side if you can allow such words to fly out of your mouth. You’re disrespectful and I’m glad to wash my hands of you.”

Obi-Wan knew he’d dug a hole and buried himself in it. Nevertheless, he knew it was too late now and he was hurting. “I may be disrespectful and foolish, but never in my life have I been as nasty as you are now. A Master is supposed to guide and teach; you only teach how to hate. When did you guide me or teach me anything, you just gave me orders on the monument and I obeyed them to the best of my abilities! Oh that’s right I don’t have any abilities do I. You say there’s no bond, because you don’t want it, well I suppose you’re right, but nevertheless I can sense such bitterness festering inside you. I didn’t want to agree with the others at the temple that say that you’re a rogue Jedi, but I can see now that they are right and there is no hope for you.”

Obi-Wan heard the shuttle land outside. He hadn’t meant to say such cruel things, but he knew he was way past apologising. Perhaps in a few days he would write to Master Jinn and apologise to him. However, right now he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as him and he bolted out the door and ran up the ramp.

His face was red and his skin felt like it was on fire. He couldn’t hold back the tears and thankfully, there was no one in that section of the shuttle to see him crying. He sat down heavily and dropped his face into his hands, letting the feelings of unworthiness fill his being as he gave in to his misery.

The Force was nudging him to open up to it, but he didn’t care. What good was the Force to him now, his dreams of being a Jedi were gone. There was no point in calling on the Force for guidance anymore. He was going to be a farmer, not a Jedi Knight. He didn’t want the Force to help him be patient and make plants grow.

The shuttle lifted off and Obi-Wan raised his head to watch the spaceport grow smaller and smaller. The sun was shinning in through his window and the glare of it made him squint. His eyes were sore from crying and he felt drained. He glanced back but couldn’t see anything but small dots where the spaceport was.

He ‘d thrown all his pain and anger into his words to Master Jinn and when he’d said them he’d wanted Qui-Gon to hurt just like he was hurting, but now he felt thoroughly ashamed of himself for speaking to the master that way.

Looking down he could see the landscape passing him by and in the distance, he could see fields of green and a large complex of buildings getting closer and closer. It was the agri-corps facility and he would be there in a few minutes.

He certainly didn’t want whoever was meeting him to see the tear tracks on his face, so he went to the fresher and cleaned himself up. By the time he’d washed his face the shuttle had landed, and the other passengers were waiting for the ramp to open.

Obi-Wan could see a man in a brown robe standing in the middle of the waiting area as the ramp slowly lowered to the ground. Obi-Wan couldn’t make his feet move and several other passengers walked past him waving to people that were waiting for them. Obi-Wan felt sick and knew that there was no one there he’d want to wave at. He waited until the other passengers left and then he stepped onto the ramp and slowly walked towards the man in the brown robe who was staring at him.

As Obi-Wan approached the robed man, he remembered seeing a picture of him in the temple library in the Agri-corps reference books. He had a cane similar to Master Yoda’s and he was old, perhaps not as old as Yoda, but he didn’t really know or care.

Obi-Wan glanced down at the trolley next to the tall master. There were several boxes of seeds on it, and they were stamped with the agricultural seal. Seeing that stamp made his depression flare and he wanted to scream out no! I don’t want to be a farmer. Nevertheless, he knew that this man didn’t care what he thought and he didn’t want to show the man that he was a baby who couldn’t control his emotions; therefore, he lifted his head and tried to hide his pain behind a composed face.

 

Oh, Obi-Wan, I totally understand your frustration and pain, but you can't get thru to Qui-Gon by pointing out the truth. It just makes the stubborn man dig his heels in even deeper.

But then, I suppose the greater the pain, the greater h/c to come...right, Geri?

 

A very emotional update with a lot of philosophy about the Dark Side going on.

He?d learned a lot in the last few days and he recognised that taking an apprentice was an immense responsibility for a Jedi Master. His respect for Qui-Gon had grown and he felt a connection to him, even though they weren?t bonded. The Force sang to him and conveyed its approval and he hoped that Qui-Gon would change his mind and take him as his apprentice.

I wish Qui Gon would sense that Obi Wan is connected with the Living Force instead of seeing the signs for a possible fall from grace.

 

WOW! Hard hitting stuff in the dialogue!

I agree with Obi-Wan. Everything he said was only the unvarnished truth; in reading Valairy's review, makes me wonder then -- if speaking the truth isn't the solution, then there's only one thing left: learning the hard way. And having even more to regret afterwards.

 

Yes I agree with Valairy. Poor Obi-Wan