"Pieces of Eight" -- TPM AU by Teflon Billy and Amidolee (Updated 8/1)

Heylo, everybody!

Alrighty, I know TPM was ages ago, but Teflon had a really good AU plot all thought up, so we're going to write it. Got that? It's pretty good too, what he's all got planned. Oh, yeah, I'm writing with him J Sorry, this is Amidolee.

Anyway, this story is about pirates. ARG! Seriously, it's got pirates, Jedi, droids, some romance, some torture, some angst . . . Okay, it starts off a year before TPM and then when Teflon gives you his wonderful prologue, we're going to bounce on ahead to TPM time. I'll write a bit, he'll write a bit, it's all good!

And furthermore, this was all Teflon's idea, not mine. I'm just here to make it look pretty.

Enjoy!

Amidolee

**********

Wow, thanks for that great introduction, Ami.

She pretty much said it all folks. So without further ado, let's get on with the show me maties, argh!

Teflon Billy

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Pieces of Eight

Prologue

In the darkness of deep space, a small contingent of overly armed ships gathered against the black velvet carpet. To the careless eye, these starships appeared to be mere scrap metal floating along some invisible path, but if one were to take a more studious glance, they would find themselves facing a well-armed band of pirates. Along the badly-chipped paint of the hulls was an insignia that would strike fear into a wise merchant's heart.

Awaiting orders to move forth, with deadly intent, Dano Zantz paced his quarters like a caged animal, hands clenching and unclenching with restless energy. I need a score, a big score. I can't go back to the Dragon empty-handed again. The old fool just doesn't understand the realities of the shipping lanes these days. The Trade Federation is too well armed now to just waltz in and capture one of their cargo carriers anymore. How am I going to meet my quota if I can't capture cargo ships on the Run?

Running a hand through his short-cropped dark hair, he scowled and let his hand fall onto his forehead Where can I score some major jink? Who has that kind of hard currency laying around?, his head snapped up with a start. Turning his lean frame abruptly on one heel, he stalked out of his quarters.

*********

Quietly, in one corner of the bridge, two men conversed on their present situation.

"What are we going to do about Mr. Zantz? If he doesn't come up with a score in the next few weeks, the Dragon is going to revoke his command and we're going to have to fend for ourselves within the other crews."

"I don't rightly know, Remian. But give the kid time, it ain't his fault the Federation finally got some smarts and started arming their trade convoys on the Run."

"That's not me concern, Merri, I'm not going to lose me standing in a crew I helped start just because some wet behind the ears dandy boy can't get it together. If I had a mind...."

"Quiet ye fool, Mr. Zantz just stepped onto the bridge."

Both men looked up to see Dano come to a halt in the center of the ship's bridge. "Heave-to me maties, I believe I've come up with a solution to our predicament. Gather 'round the chart table, we have some planning to do."

"What are yer orders, Mr. Zantz?"

"Mr. Merri, we're goin' to make a land raid. Ye know what to look fer--a city wi'plenty o'booty and not much in the way of authorities. Let's look at these'er charts, see what we 'ave in prospects.""

"Aye aye, sir."

The men quickly dove into the task of weeding through the charts of thousands of systems and dozens of different sectors to find which one would satisfy their ambitious needs.

~several hours later~

A mood of discouragement pervaded the quiet bridge as men still shifted through star charts, vainly searching for a world to loot.

Dano was pacing. Again. I used to be able to come up with big scores on a whim, I am the best there is at this. What am I doing wrong? Everything has gone to hell since I took command, I used to be able to just point to a place on a star chart and I could find s

 

Whew! Hope y'all survived through that I'll be posting the next bit tomorrow, but that huge introduction should be enough to suffice for the night, right?

Good, cuz ya don't have any other options

Tell Teflon what you think, cuz he's got absolutely no self-confidence *mutter*

 

Hmmph, sometimes you're no better about self-confidence than he is, Ami. Why do I have this funny feeling that I'm going to be delivering a lot of virtual head smacks during this story?

Anyway...

I like the way this is starting, with Shmi and Ani free but really not... Can't wait to see where you go with it.

I liked this part:
"It was his dream, more or less, but there wasn't any golden sunlight or skip in his step as he held his mother's hand. Perhaps dreams did not come true as they were first dreamt, and if so, how would it all end?"

 

Congrats, you're our first replied! Your prize is, um, a post tomorrow!

I'll try to be good about self-confidence, okay?

 

Up you go!!

 

She's lying!

 

Oh, you shut-up!

 

It's PIRATES! I love pirate! (Except for a certain movie... ) Very good start you two! Can't wait for more... (And you know how impatient I can be >)

 

Interesting, especially given the canon Shmi ended up a slave after her parents were killed by pirates on their way to a colony. Always been a big pirate fan myself. Arrrr, matey! Hehehehe.... Looking forward to the rest of it. (BTW, glad to see you posting, TB. You had some great suggestions for JG and me on Penitent.)

 

Pushing this while Ami works!

Work faster, btw...

 

I have work tonight, and since Jae is all anxious, here's the second bit.


Chapter One

The fascination of traveling through deep space in a sleek starship that generally captivated some people was completely lost on Obi-Wan Kenobi as he glared with pure venom at the fussy hyperdrive staring back at him. For over a week now he had been coaxing the temperamental J-Type Nubian engine to cooperate with his administrations. The process was slow and far from encouraging, as he had the weight of a planet?s fate resting on his shoulders. It didn?t help his mood much that Queen Amidala often sent a handmaiden down to inspect his work and analyze whether or not he was being an adequate mechanic.

Of course, he relented slightly, it wasn?t entirely the hyperdrive?s design or fault that they had to stop after short hyperspace jumps to recharge and reroute the engine. Having a neutrally armed (which meant absolutely helpless) Queen?s transport charge insanely at the likes of a Trade Federation blockade ship would put it well out of commission. They were lucky enough to get out alive, much less, with a partially working hyperdrive.

Limping along the Corellian Run, they?d managed to scrape through Rodian space and the Expansion region. Now, after their latest skip, Obi-Wan estimated they couldn?t be placed in a worst spot for a vulnerable ship in pirate-raiding territory. They were only a few hundred light years from the Mid Rim, but all populated systems were more than a day away. Barely further nestled inside the galaxy than Hutt and Rodian space, this sector of the Corellian Run was prone to pirate raids and interstellar violence.

Or so rumors and random reports foretold.

A cheery whistle interrupted the Jedi Padawan?s pessimistic thoughts. Craning his neck from a cranny in the hyperdrive, Obi-Wan found his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, enter, obviously wondering how soon they would again be off. There was a slight edginess in the tall man?s features, but only years of dealing with the serene Jedi Master had given Obi-Wan the advantage of pinpointing any distress.

Another flurry of beeps sounded from the astromech droid that had several appendages inserted in the hyperdrive. R2-D2 was a droid in the service of Queen Amidala, and, unfortunately, the last surviving one from the small contingent that had bravely faced Trade Federation droid fighter ships to put the shields back on line. The blue domed head swiveled around, obviously happy to explain precisely what was wrong with the drive to the Jedi Master.

Qui-Gon Jinn glanced at the droid for a moment, then turned his keen blue gaze on his apprentice, awaiting explanation.

?A few more hours, I believe,? Obi-Wan said, doing his best not to sound exasperated. It was always ?a few more hours?, and then it would be a few more.

?The Queen is anxious to leave the area,? Qui-Gon said quietly, nodding to Obi-Wan. The young man ducked his head back under the hyperdrive that had been elevated from its convenient socket under the flooring. ?Our captain is obliging in relaying all the rumors that have transpired from this area.?

?They are not all rumors, Master,? Obi-Wan reminded, his voice muffled under the drive. Artoo whistled importantly, and he glanced at the tiny monitor he?d set on his chest and lifted it towards his eyes to read the translation. Biting back a curse at the newest bit of good news, he searched with his right hand for the proper tool.

?Perhaps,? suggested Obi-Wan, after a few minutes of mentally shouting at the damaged hyperdrive. ?it would be easier to hail an oncoming ship, be it hostile or not, and let them tow us in??

?The Trade Federation is influential along the Run,? Qui-Gon reminded him.

?Yes, Master.? Obi-Wan gritted his teeth, growing silent as his full attention was devoted to the tenacious machine. Inwardly, he didn?t feel his Master?s confidence or calm. From the very beginning of this mission, he?d been uneasy. Perhaps it was his tendency to become restless and look for trouble (it found him), b

 

"There was a muffled, irritated noise that Padmé knew meant no, but she decided for amusement?s sake that she would fetch Obi-Wan a glass of water. Qui-Gon Jinn would approve and Obi-Wan would probably continue to be ungrateful."

LOL! I loved that! Great post!

 

Thanks, J-J!!

 

LOL Ami! Excellent characterization on Obi-Dearest, and Padme Cant' wait for more! (And I can certainly bug you for it )

 

More tomorrow, I pwomise! All of you yell at Teflon, because he has to get cracking on the next set of scenes!

 

Ah-ha! Found it! Thanks for the link, Teflon!

Teflon: Great post, but you already knew that!

Ami: Loved that line JJ quoted. Padmé is something of an imp in this story, isn't she?

Continue with your great work!

 

Alright...this is great, guys! I loved innocent Padme not understanding about Obi-Wan and his...erm...lightsabre I can't wait to see where this is going! Oh, and the Pirates part is cool, ARG!

aa

 

Okay, I've got another post ready, but I need to talk to our dear boy Teflon about some stuff, and I imagine he's still sleeping.

So it'll be here soon!

 

Okay, I'd better warn you all, this fic isn't going to have a day-to-day posting rate on it. I'm posting this one, but the next one probably won't be ready until the weekend, as it's a major collaboration between the both of us.


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The protocol that called for a constant display of respect and discipline for rank and stature seemed to be slowly relaxing through the Naboo refugees. Padmé would have liked to scold them for their slack, but it seemed trivial when compared to what could be happening back home. Besides, it would mean she would have to adopt the code, and she was enjoying her freedom to wander when Sabé didn?t need her. Of course, Sabé was keeping the stoic, queenly act together quite well, even if she tended to complain about the headdress and stiffness in her legs.

?Strolling the deck with the Jedi again??

Padmé turned her head sharply to see ?Queen Amidala? grinning wickedly at her from the entrance of the Throne Room. Sabé was obviously stretching her legs with Rabé and Eirtaé accompanying her. Upon her first meeting with the eighteen-year-old native of the mountain regions on Naboo, Padmé had been struck by the uncanny resemblance between them. Under the heavy face-paint of the Queen, Sabé was practically Padmé?s clone. The handmaiden had worked relentlessly with her sovereign to perfect the masquerade, but neither had truly believed it would ever be truly necessary.

?I?m fetching our mechanic some water, Your Highness,? Padmé replied.

?Good,? Sabé said, matching her voice to that of Amidala?s. ?Fetch me some as well, handmaiden.? One thin eyebrow rose slightly on the white face. ?What is the state of our condition??

?The same. A swear here, another few hours there.?

Eirtaé smirked. ?Your Highness, Padmé has already been down to check on the hyperdrive. Perhaps I should bring the Jedi his water??

?Or, better yet,? Rabé broke in, her dark eyes lighting up. ?You could pay him a visit, Your Highness!?

Sabé turned her feathered head slightly, a corner of her red and white mouth turning towards her honey-brown eyes. ?It is you silly handmaidens that are fawning over our young Jedi. It is not fitting of a Queen??

?You?re out of luck,? Eirtaé whispered to Padmé.

Padmé felt her face redden slightly under the jests. She was happy to find everyone in higher spirits, but she wondered if their odd behavior had anything to do with the nervous energy radiating through the recycled air. It wasn?t exactly a secret that they were sitting without a defense in pirate territory. ?You are all insane,? she stated. ?I do not have a crush on the Jedi!?

?Then you?ll let me take the water to him?? Eirtaé asked.

?Absolutely not!? Padmé narrowed her eyes as the three older girls grinned slyly at each other. Flustered by their behavior, she raised her chin defiantly. ?I?m just trying to protect him from you three.?

?I may stop by to inspect the work myself,? Sabé said, absently. ?It?s something to do, anyway.? Before Eirtaé could take the comment too far, the decoy queen lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes on her two handmaidens. ?Padmé will continue on her errand.?

Padmé?s large, dark eyes widened at her closest friend, biting back a grin as Sabé glared at Rabé and Eirtaé. Although she was sometimes far behind in knowledge outside of ruling a planet, Padmé could sense diversion when she saw it. She also could acknowledge the fact that Obi-Wan Kenobi was handsome?even if he could be boring?and the older girls were entitled to goggle.

It was also common knowledge that Sabé was fascinated by the Jedi Order, more so than the general populace of the galaxy. Padmé knew that if Sabé had not taken her place as the Queen that she would have been the one to pester Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi.

?Padmé??

The ?handmaiden? blinked, realizing she?d been thinking without moving. Feeling her cheeks heat slightly, she bowed to Sabé and hurried towards the food prep chamber. As she left, she could have sworn she heard giggling. Rolling her eye

 

Yeah! Sabe, get in there and show those boys how to kick ass!

Er...what I meant was: Awesome post! I can even stomach the slight crush Padme has on Obi-Wan, since she hasn't met Mr. Wonderful yet

aa

 

Soudns to ME Like Padme has that crush.... not that I can blame her!!! Excellent post, Ami! Now... to bug Teflon....

 

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?Absolutely not!? Padmé narrowed her eyes as the three older girls grinned slyly at each other. Flustered by their behavior, she raised her chin defiantly. ?I?m just trying to protect him from you three.?
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Uhhhh-huhhhh, sure, Padme. Whatever you say...

 

Oh, not to worry peoples, there is no love triangle here. It'd be way to weird anyway: 9, 14, and 25??? I think NOT!!

 

Interesting story! Nice twist with the pirates.

Don't blame Padme for having a crush on Obi-Wan!

 

Well, I'm working all day everyday this weekend, so I can't work on the story We'll try to get you something soon