FIC: Poltergeist (JA humor, much Obi-angst)

TITLE: Poltergeist
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, non-slash. Qui and Obi's apartment is haunted? (Obi is 13.)
ARCHIVE: Please ask me first.
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

NOTES: HUGE references to the movie "Poltergeist" and "Poltergeist 2" in this one. So if you haven't seen those movies, it might be a bit confusing.

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Poltergeist
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Obi: Master I am not going back in that room.

Qui: Obi-Wan there is nothing in there. Your stories of long armed clowns and man-eating trees are a bit of a stretch, even for you. You are not sleeping in the common area, nor will you sleep in my bed.

Obi: Then I will sleep in the tub.

Qui: No, you will not. I want you changed and in that bed in five minutes. Understand?

Obi: Fine. But if you find me tomorrow morning, staring at the holo-vid monitor repeating the words 'they're here' over and over, do NOT say that were not warned.

Qui: Bed! NOW! That is the last time I let Bren take you to the horror-vid show. There is not a poltergeist in your room.

Obi: You obviously haven't looked in my closet.

Qui: You don't have a closet.

Obi: That is my point!

Qui: GO TO BED!

(Obi-Wan goes wandering off towards his room. He peeks around the corner.)

Obi: Hello Mr. Clown? Little blonde girl? You can go away now. I have to sleep. You heard Master Qui-Gon. Just don't look under the bed Kenobi, don't look. He's under there, but won't hurt you if you don't look. Okay, that's it. My bed. Ahhhhhhh. No clowns, no trees, no blonde children. Whew.

(Meanwhile Qui-Gon calls Master Bren on his comm-link)

Bren: I can't help it Qui, the kid was bored out of his mind. And the only thing playing was that one about the blue ghostie that haunts that family.

Qui: You do know that he suffers from nightmares after things like this? He's already started on me about evil clowns and deadly trees. And that's before he even tried to sleep.

Bren: I'm sorry. But whatever you do, stay out of the kid's closet.

Qui: He doesn't HAVE A CLOSET!!

Bren: Well then, you have a serious problem don't you?

Qui: You are NO help at all.

Bren: You really need to learn to control the stress in your life. Master Brazo teaches a stress management class...and...

Qui: The only stress I have in my life are you and the boy. My hair was brown before I met you two.

Bren: Yes, I love you too. Now, back to the real problem...

(They were interrupted by a scream.)

Qui: Hang on, he's flipping out right now.

Obi: MASTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! They've got me! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Master, I see a light. It's so blue. They are reaching for me master.

Qui: NO! OBI-WAN, DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT!

Bren: Qui, what's going on? QUI????

Obi: HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Mmmmmaasterrrr....

(Qui-Gon raced to the door, but couldn't budge it open.)

Qui: Obi-Wan open the door! OBI-WAN?

(Finally he forced the door open. He was struck by what he saw. All of his padawans belongings were floating around the room, and a bright blue light shown out from the closet. Kenobi was nowhere to be found.)

Qui: When did he put in a closet? Obi-Wan, where are you?

(Bren comes running in.)

Bren: What the? This is a new look for his room, isn't it?

Qui: He's gone. He was yelling, then nothing.

Bren: I thought you said he didn't have a closet.

Qui: He doesn't, well, he didn't until now.

Bren: It's nice, roomy too. But you could tone down the blue light a bit.

Qui: Bren? Hello? My padawan is missing and until five minu

 

UP we go!

 

LOL I thought it was funny

 

That was hilarious!! I especially liked the parts about the guy turning into Leonardo DiCraprio, Yaddle watching the soap opera, and Poof turning everyone into Poofs.

 

"Sounds like she's been sucking on helium."

That "medium" from the "Poltergeist" movie DID sound like she was sucking on helium! LOL!


JediCandy

 

HAHAH! i was hoping some of you guys had seen Poltergeist. This one makes ALOT more sense if you've seen the movie! Thanks for readin!

 

UP!

 

That was hysterical!

Now how about you writing Obi meets Freddy Kruger? After all, Obi already has lots of nightmares

 

Hehehe! Not a bad idea greencat! Will have to think on that. Poor Obi, if it's not physical torture, it's Poof!

 

UP!

 

I think Poofy scared everyone else away!

 

Yay!! Even though I have never seen either of the Poltergeist movies, This is funny! I love your work, Obi The Kid HAHAHAHA ::Vanishes into the Lurkdom from which she came::

 

Once you see that movie Red, it'll all make sense! But nice to know it's funny if you havent seen it! THANKS!

 

Obi: Hi Master Bren. What's up?

Bren: I've come to save you.

Obi: Why?

Bren: Um...because the blue poltergeist guy got you.

Obi: Oh yeah...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!

Oh God that was soooooooo funny!! The whole story was sooooo great! You'll never
stop to amaze me, OTK!!!!!!

Obi: Okay, I hate to do this to you, but it's the only way to save you. WHACK! (Obi smacks the master upside the head.) RUNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Bren: AH! He's changed into...oh no...it's...it's Leonardo DiCraprio. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Obi: I told you he was evil. Can't act either. And he's over paid and has only got a career because of that one movie...and...

And Obi you are soooooooo right about THAT......

 

HAHAHAHAH!! Keyla, you crack me up! Thanks! hahahaha

 

LOL!!! This was great!! I've never seen the Poltergeist either, but this was very funny anyway!! hehee...great job!!!

 

Thanks Adi. Check out the movie if you can, it's a true classic!

 

UP!

 

Uppers

I LOVED Poltergeist and this was soooo funny! Clowns...eep!

ROTFLMAO!!!