A Free Angel, Even in the Depths of Despair (Sequel to RFTDD, JA, angst) UPDATED 1/28!

Warning before hand. This does do a little in attempted suicide and abuse. The rating is somewhere between PG and PG13, just to warn you.

A Free Angel, Even in the Depths of Despair

Obi-wan Kenobi hurried after his Master. It had been four months since their encounter with Xanatos. Obi-wan was slowly getting used to his cybernetic hand and his voice had almost turned to normal. Qui-gon on the other hand still had nightmares. Obi-wan worried for him at times. He looked pale and thin, but the dark side was receding slowly and he was regaining his old self.

They had just arrived at the planet a day ago, after Qui-gon had received a message, from Xanatos. He had allowed Obi-wan to see it.

"Qui-gon, Obi-wan," the holo gram of Xanatos said.

He was thin and his eyes were red. It disturbed Obi-wan to see him like that.

"I have sent this to you to tell you that I have planned to turn myself over to you. I can't take it anymore. I am lost, Master, help me," Xanatos said sorrowfully and broke down crying.

He had seem so different from when Obi-wan had seen him last.

Qui-gon put a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Padawan, stay here. I think it would be better if I entered first," Qui-gon said.

"Master, are you sure?" Obi-wan asked.

"Yes, Obi-wan," Qui-gon said and pushed the door open.

The room was dark inside, the windows were covered and the lights were shut off. Qui-gon entered the room, hoping that he would not find the one thing he dread. This reminded him too much after her death, when he came home to an apartment like this, with Xanatos sprawled on the floor, a bottle of pills a foot from him, or Xanatos on the balcony, his lightsaber pressed to his heart, ready to ignite the blade. He shook the thoughts from his mind. He didn't need to think about that right then. He saw a slight movement from a chair. He went over and saw that it was Xanatos. He was thin, horribly thin. His skin was slack and his bones stuck out. He looked as if he hadn't eaten in weeks, and Qui-gon was sure he hadn't. Xanatos opened his eyes to slits.

"Master, you came," he whispered.

"Yes, I did, Xanatos," Qui-gon said softly.

"Good," Xanatos breathe and closed his eyes again.

Qui-gon could sense his life force flicker and quickly picked him up. He then hurried out the door.

Obi-wan looked in shock at the frail form in his arms.

"We need to get him back to the Temple, Obi-wan," Qui-gon said.

Obi-wan nodded and they hurried to their transport.

 

A nice angsty start, Neon Keep up the good work. We torture and mush addicts need our fix

 

Very nice!

 

SWEEET


Sorry I can tell I will LOVE this story

 

Oooo Neon Star...interesting start indeed.

Hopefully, we'll have more soon?

Knight_Obi

PS: Good thing I went back to the RFTDD thread and was able to find the link to this.

 

Poor Xani.Makes me almost sad that they ended up killing him..<sniff>

 

That's a bit harsh, even for a guy like Xanatos. But still, quite an interesting start. Keep up the groovy work.

 

Thanks everyone for the comments!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two weeks later....

He was healed, after an intensive two weeks at the healers, who treated him for starving himself. Now the Council wanted his confession and he would give it because it no longer mattered to him. He had lost all hope.

"I can't really explain right now. But many wondered what had driven me to the dark side. Some say I had the darkness in me from the beginning, while others say I became corrupt as time went on. But it mostly has to deal with a free angel and my heart. I sometimes wonder what would have happened," Xanatos sighed softly.

He looked into the midnight blue eyes of his former Master. The Master he had betrayed and almost murdered several times. At his Master's side sat his apprentice. Xanatos continued on, knowing that he had to tell what had led to his own down fall. He couldn't just slip away like so many times. He didn't know what Qui-gon believed or what Obi-wan believed. He just wanted to get this over with. They thought that he could be saved, but that was unlikely. They had brought him here only two weeks ago and he knew that this was going to be his confession and it would either save or condemn him. He didn't care.

"Well, it began...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Nineteen-year-old Xanatos walked through the streets. He knew he was late but right now he just wanted to enjoy the peacefulness of the late hours. Qui-gon would be upset but would understand. Xanatos had been feeling restless of late. His trails were to be coming soon, but nether neither he nor his Master knew when. He only hoped that he would pass and become a Jedi Knight. He came within site of the Temple. He smiled at the site and continued on. Just when he was at the gate, he ran into a small woman.

"I am sorry," Xanatos said, helping her up.

She lifted her head and he felt his heart leap. Her eyes were the color of dark violet. Her skin was a golden tan and her hair was like a golden cape down her back. She was a Jedi by the looks of it, a Jedi Padawan at that by the braid. She smiled softly and it lit something inside of him.

"I should be the one that is sorry. My name is Malaika Fayina," she said softly.

"I am Xanatos. Why are you going out so late?" he asked.

"My Master sent me to get something," she said.

"Oh, sorry I asked. I had better get going," he said.

She smiled again and nodded, "Goodbye, Xanatos."

That soft use of his name tingled in his mind. He didn't know how a girl could have intrigued him so easily but she had. He watched her disappear into the streets and couldn't look away until she was gone.

"I must look like an idiot," he muttered to himself but inside he felt that it didn't matter.

He hurried into the Temple and to his and Qui-gon's apartment. When he opened the door, he found Qui-gon waiting for him in the living room.

"Xanatos, where have you been?" Qui-gon asked calmly.

"I am sorry, Master, I got caught up in my thoughts then I ran into someone. Do you know a Padawan named Malaika Fayina?" Xanatos asked.

"I have heard of her," Qui-gon said.

"Well, that was who I was talking to at the moment. She was going down to get something for her Master. Anyways, I know you didn't want me out so late," Xanatos said, hoping for a small punishment but knowing he deserved more then a few more excise hours or a few more hours of meditation.

"I will let it go this time, Xanatos, but this is the only time. Now get to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow," Qui-gon said.

"Thank you, Master," Xanatos said, surprised that his Master had let him get off.

He quickly went to his room and dressed for bed. As he laid down, his mind returned to Malaika. He smiled sleepily and drifted off to sleep.

 

Do I detect a hint of romance in the air?

 

Hmm Xanatos in love? That's something that hasn't been done to my knowledge ...hehe.

Knight_Obi

 

Awwwww.... Dark Lords having crushes. How sweet. Heheheheheheh! I look forward to seeing how this proceeds.

 

The next few days, he didn't see her. But the feeling that had been stirred in him would not fade. But he had to put aside thoughts of her for the moment.

He blocked the blow with his lightsaber and smiled at his Master.

"I think you are getting old, Master, you are slowing down," he teased.

"I am still faster then you are, Padawan," Qui-gon joked back.

Suddenly Xanatos saw her. He was so stunned at seeing her that he didn't block Qui-gon's next move. The sharp pain brought him back to what he was doing.

"Owww! Sorry, Master, I wasn't focused," Xanatos said.

"A Jedi should be focused at all times and have their mind on the here and now," Qui-gon said, "But what were you thinking about?"

He then noticed where Xanatos had been looking. He smiled in understanding.

"That would be Malaika Fayina?" Qui-gon asked.

"Yes, Master," Xanatos said.

"Well, after our lesson, if she is not busy with her own lessons, you may go over and talk to her," Qui-gon said.

"Thank you, Master," Xanatos said in surprise and gratitude.

Qui-gon just chuckled and they continued their lesson. They finished quickly and Xanatos then ran to her side.

"Hi, Padawan Fayina," Xanatos said.

"Hi, Xanatos. Please call me Malaika," she said and smiled.

Again his heart leaped.

"All right, Malaika. So are you busy?" he asked.

"Well, my Master is going to be coming in a few minutes," she said and her face darkened for a moment.

Suspicion pulled at him, "What about later?"

"Maybe, where do you want to meet?" she asked.

"How about at the Meditation Gardens?" he asked.

"All right," she said and smiled again, but then she frowned, "You had better go. My Master is coming."

"Ok, meet me at seven," he said.

"I will," she said.

She nervously glanced at entranceway. He followed her gaze. A middle-aged man stood there. He had black hair and a cold look on his face. He looked at her and noticed that a look of fear had crossed her face.

"See you," he said softly and walked back to Qui-gon.

"Master, do you know that Master?" Xanatos asked, nodding in the direction of Malaika's Master.

"Not personally, but his name is Garenth Coble," Qui-gon said.

"Malaika seems scared of him," Xanatos said.

"Maybe her Master is stricter then most. Now come, Xanatos, you must get to your classes," Qui-gon said.

"Yes, Master," Xanatos said and walked out with him.

 

I don't know about the rest of you, but Garenth Coble gives me the creeps already *shudder*

 

DUm dum dum


Hmm wonder why she is scared of him??

THoughts running in my head...

Knight_Obi

 

Xanatos waited at the Meditation Gardens at seven. His heart was beating rapidly. Why had this woman affected him so much? He looked at his cormo. Ten past seven. What if she wasn't coming? He shifted uneasily. He hoped she was.

Soon he heard a rustle and she appeared from the brush. He smiled at her.

"Sorry about being late, Xanatos. I got held up," she said softly.

"Its all right," he said and walked closer to her.

"Well, now what should we do?" she asked.

"Not much to do at this time. I was thinking we could just grab a bite to eat or something," he said.

"All right," she said and smiled.

Again his heart fluttered. He gently took her arm. He frowned slightly when she winced.

"What?s wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said.

He could sense she was lying, but he didn't say anything. He let go of her arm and took her by the other one. They then headed down to eating area.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Xanatos returned home at ten. His spirit was soaring. He had talked with her the whole time, learning about her. She seemed reluctant about some things and he had not pressed her. She had asked him about his life and he had told her a little bit about it. Qui-gon had taught him not to be proud of the power his real Father had and that he should focus on being a Jedi. Qui-gon had helped him over his pride and bitterness.

They had laughed and talked. It was one of the best nights he had ever had. And he had another date with her next week. He couldn't be happier, though something tugged at his Force senses. Qui-gon noticed his slight smile.

"Have a good time, Padawan?" he asked.

"Yes, Master," Xanatos said.

"Good," Qui-gon said and smiled.

"We planned another date next week, Master. Do we have any missions scheduled?" Xanatos asked.

"No, we are off duty for a while," Qui-gon said.

"All right, Goodnight, Master," Xanatos said.

"Goodnight, Padawan," Qui-gon replied.

Xanatos headed back to his room.

 

Nice name for the creepy Master guy. I hope he turns out to be a truly nasty character. (Well, maybe not so nasty that I end up angered enough to break my lovely computer in frustration. )

 

Present...

Qui-gon remembered the young woman; she had been like a daughter to him. She had changed Xanatos, she had made him truly happy. During the first few dates, Xanatos seemed perfectly happy. Until a few months later.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Past...

Xanatos waited near the main doors of the Temple. A dark feeling had come over him a while ago, a sense of foreboding. He wished he knew what it was about. But he couldn't figure it out.

He frowned at his chrono. Malaika was late. She had never been this late before. It all ready forty minutes passed when they said they would meet. She seemed fine this morning. His dark feeling grew. Something was wrong and he knew it. He headed up to her apartment. She had never let him come there and it had always made his suspicious feeling grow. Plus the bruises that she said had come from practice, and the black eyes. He came to her door and knocked. No one answered, but he could hear someone inside. Someone was yelling and crying. A cry of pain entered his senses. He could feel it had come from Malaika. He frowned and made the door open with the Force. The sense inside shocked and sickened him. Maliaka was on the floor, beaten and bloody. Her master stood over her, a cruel look in his eyes.

"What do you want, boy?" Coble growled, turning gray eyes to
Xanatos.

"What are you doing to her?" Xanatos demanded, anger and loathing rising in him.

"I am teaching my Padawan a lesson. Now get out of here," Coble snapped.

"I will not let you hurt her any more," Xanatos said.

"What right do you have?" Coble asked.

"I love her," Xanatos declared.

"So, this is who you have been running off with," Coble snarled as he raised his fist to hit Maliaka again.

Xanatos tackled him, bringing them both down. Coble was bigger then him, but Xanatos had speed and agility on his side. Coble tried to pin him, but Xanatos rolled out of the way and rose to his feet.
Coble stumbled to his feet and swung at Xanatos. Xanatos ducked and kicked him in the head. The large Master went down and lay still. Xanatos then went to Malaika and picked her up. He then hurried toward the healers.

 

Sick'em Xani!

 

At last! Even more reason to cheer on one of my favorite Jedis. PLEASE let there be an upcoming saber duel between Coble and Xanatos!

 

I second that!

 

Qui-gon came down as soon as Xanatos had contacted him. Xanatos had told him the whole thing. They had contacted the Council and Coble had been kicked out of the Order and locked away. She had barely made it. Coble had beaten her badly. Xanatos had been in a dark mood during the time of her recovery. But as she grew stronger, he had gotten happier. Then one day he went to visit her and to take a big step in his young life.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Xanatos walked into the Healers' Ward. He headed straight to her room. His smile widened when he saw her. Her skin was back to normal, the scars barely visible. She was sitting up, waiting for him.

"Why are you so happy?" she asked.

"Because you are getting better," he said and kissed her gently.

She returned his kiss and smiled at him.

"Anything else?" she asked.

"Yes," he said and closed the door, "When I saw you that night a while back when we first met, you lit something in me. Then as we dated it grew. When I saw your former Master hurt you, I knew what that fire was. I love you with my whole heart and being, Maliaka and I realized that I couldn't live without you."

He then knelt beside her bed and reached into his robe. He pulled out a small box and opened it. A small ring with a blue sapphire diamond rested on the red cushions.

"Malaika Fayina, would you be my wife?" he asked softly.

Her eyes became moist and he was afraid. What if she said no?

"Yes, I will, Xanatos. I would be honored to be your wife," she whispered.

He looked up at her in astonishment. He then jumped to his feet and kissed her passionately.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Present...
Xanatos smiled slightly.

"We were happy during those months. We were linked three months later, after she had fully healed. We found out that we were going to have a child one month after that. We were excited and very much in love. We rarely left each other?s side, though I have to admit it was hard to be a Padawan and a husband, but we made it. Our little girl was born ten months after we were married. Everything was going so fast. I guess I have to thank you for one thing, Qui-gon, you helped us and understood," Xanatos said and smiled but then he sobered, "But then everything changed and my world was destroyed."

 

Past...

Xanatos ran into the room. It had been a long day at practice. He had a foreboding feeling all day and when he heard Malaika's scream through the bond, he had come running. He searched the room and found no one. He then went into their bedroom. Maliaka lay on the floor, a blaster shot in the middle of her back. His heart filled with fear and angst as he knelt beside her.

"Malaika?" he called and felt through the Force.

"She is dead and soon you will be too," a cold voice said behind him.

"Coble," Xanatos growled.

Anger flowed through his veins. He disregarded his training in that moment and drew his lightsaber. Cobalt blasted at him but he blocked it. Coble backed away, still shooting. But Xanatos drew closer. He didn't care if he got hit or not. A blast hit him the chest and pain flared. But that only fed the rage in him.

Qui-gon had come to the door, sensing his Padawan's angst and rage. He saw Xanatos advance on the retreating Cobolt.

"Xanatos, don't!" Qui-gon yelled.

Xanatos ignored him and cut the blaster from Cobolt's hands, but not before another blast hit him. He then cut Cobolt down. The man collapsed at his feet. Xanatos then dropped his lightsaber and walked away in a daze. His anger was melting away and he could feel his life force drain away. He collapsed at the door of their room and crawled to her side. His hand brushed her face then he collapsed fully.

Qui-gon ran to him and saw Malaika's body. He turned from her sadly; knowing that she had all ready joined the Force. Xanatos on the other hand was dying, but still had a chance. Qui-gon pulled out his comm link and called for the healers.

"Hold on, Xanatos," he said softly to his fallen Padawan.

 

Oh, it's back I was beginning to wonder if you'd forgotten about this one, Neon Star

Poor Xani! What was with Coble anyway? How'd a psycho like that get to be a Jedi Master?

 

Present...

"It took me a while to heal, but I didn't care. I didn't have anything to live for. My daughter had disappeared while I was healing. I don't know what happened to her, though I searched. She would be eleven or so about now. I tried to kill myself twice, one time by pills, the other by driving my lightsaber through me. But you, Qui-gon, stopped me each time. The Soul Healers tried to help, but it didn't work. When the Council sent us back to Telos, I saw a way to make others feel as I did. I saw a way to make sure I was never hurt again. I joined my Father in his conquest. But then you took that chance away from me too, Qui-gon. And you two know the rest," Xanatos said and leaned back.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Obi-wan watched as they took away Xanatos then turned to his Master.

"I didn't know that Xanatos had married someone and had turned when they were killed," Obi-wan said softly.


"There is a lot you do not know about Xanatos, Padawan. There is a lot that I don't know. But now I know why he blames me. But he truly blames himself," Qui-gon said.

"Why?" Obi-wan asked.

"Because he wished he could have changed it. He wished he could have made sure Cobolt was gone or that he had gone home sooner," Qui-gon said.

"Do you know what happened to his daughter?" Obi-wan asked.

"No, the Healers just told me that they had taken care of her. But they told me not to inform Xanatos. She disappeared when he was recovering because he had been in deep depression and rage. They were afraid that he would hurt her. But I know Xanatos; he wouldn't hurt her for the galaxy. She was his last light. I disagreed with them, but they wouldn't hear it. I think she would be the only way he would be able to be redeemed," Qui-gon said.

"Can't we find her?" Obi-wan asked.

"I do not think so, Obi-wan. I tried and so did Xanatos and we didn't find a trace," Qui-gon said.

"It seems that life was fully against him," Obi-wan said softly.

"At one time it wasn't, Padawan. But now you can see what the actions of one man can destroy another," Qui-gon said sadly.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

up!