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Mistakes ~JA~ Announcement 12~2

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Neobi_Kenobi, Dec 15, 2001.

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  1. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    Title: Mistakes
    Author: Neobi
    Spoilers: JA6 and JA 16, very minor spoilers.
    Summary: Lets just say it is going be a long line of mistakes.

    // = Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bond
    italicized = thought
    ** = From the book (beginning and ending)

    Disclaimer: All names and planets are part of Lucas Books.

    Hope you like it.

    ~Neobi
     
  2. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    Tahl was dead.

    That one fact haunted Qui-Gon Jinn. When Tahl died Qui-Gon had gone dangerously close to the dark side.

    It had been only a few weeks since she had died but it had seemed like an eternity to Qui-Gon.

    How will I make it with out her?

    He shook his head.

    No, no, I am never with out her.

    With that Qui-Gon closed his eyes and banished all thoughts from his mind. Meditating helped him to get through the day, even though it didn?t lessen the anguish over the death of Tahl.

    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had talked little since Tahl?s death, none of it had been about the events that happened while on New Apsolon. Qui-Gon opened his eyes, his meditation broken by another?s presents.

    ?Miss her, all of us do,? began the wise Jedi master, ?Bring her back, we can not. Live with out her we must.? Qui-Gon shifted uncomfortable with the subject.

    ?Need more time, know do I. But calls our attention another subject does.?

    Qui-Gon turned to the small master, ?A mission??

    Yoda nodded once, ?Small it is. Concerns Obi-Wan, it does.?

    Qui-Gon became concerned. He had not had a true conversation with his Padawan for some time.

    ?About his time on Melida-Daan, it is about. Tell everything he has not. Know a girl named Tikatee did you??

    ?I met her once or twice. Why??

    ?Relations, Obi-Wan had with this girl. Child she bore, force sensitive think they do.?

    Qui-Gon looked at the ground in front of him, searching for words.

    ?Bring Obi-Wan to the Jedi Council later you must. Come too must you.? And with that the Jedi master turned and walked away, leaving Qui-Gon to his thoughts.

    * * *

    Obi-Wan walked next to his master. They were on their way to the Jedi Council meeting.

    Earlier that morning, when he had woken up Qui-Gon was already gone. It didn?t surprise Obi-Wan any more, Qui-Gon had gotten up early and left every day since they had gotten back from New Apsolon.

    Today, however, Qui-Gon had come back sooner than usual. And for the first time since they had gotten back he had spoken more than two or three words. Obi-Wan thought back to what he had said, trying to find out why the council wished them to see them.

    Qui-Gon entered quietly. He spoke calmly and barely above a whisper.

    ?The Jedi Council wishes to speak to us. When you are ready we will go,? and with that Qui-Gon sat down to wait.

    Obi-Wan reviewed this again. He was about to again but he then realized that they were outside the council room. The door slid open and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon walked to the center of the room and bowed.

    ?Come here do you know why, Obi-Wan,? Yoda said.

    ?No, master.?

    ?We called you here to discus Melida-Daan,? Mace Windu said, wanting to get to the point. Obi-Wan swallowed, talking about Melida-Daan brought back memories; many of which he did not want to.

    Mace Windu continued, ?This morning we were contacted by a young women named Tikatee. She explained her relationship with you and then said that a child came out of it. She thinks the child might be force sensitive.?

    Obi-Wan?s mind raced. Searching for something to tell the masters, but he found no words.

    ?Know we do that you realize your mistake. Send a Jedi team we must. Accept the mission do you?? Yoda?s voice was calm yet stern.

    Obi-Wan, the choice is up to you, Qui-Gon?s voice echoed in his mind.

    ?Yes, we do.? Obi-Wan said, straitening.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


    ~Neobi
     
  3. Ginger_Jedi

    Ginger_Jedi Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2001
    No, it's an interesting start Neobi :) What has Obi-Wan been up to? :eek:

    Maybe you should elaborate slightly and post more huh? :D
     
  4. Aayla

    Aayla Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 4, 2001
    POST MORE!!!!! INTERESTED I AM!!!!!

    <(o_o)>
     
  5. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    ?How could you?!? shrieked the upset Bant. ?How could you have just thrown away everything??

    ?You forget Bant, I had nothing. Not the Jedi, not my friends here, not Cerasi, and for all I knew I could have died the next day,? Obi-Wan replied in a calm, cool, voice.

    After leaving the council room Qui-Gon had left him to go and meditate. Obi-Wan had been surprised at his master?s calmness about the subject. When he reached their quarters Bant was waiting for him out side.


    They had entered his quarters and Obi-Wan had told Bant what happened on Melida-Daan, and the news of him being a father. That was when Bant ended her silence.

    ?I know that but? I really don?t understand,? Bant had finally said in a much calmer voice. ?When are you leaving??

    ?Tomorrow, Mace Windu was able to get a starfighter for us to use.?

    ?Then I?ll help you pack.?

    * * *

    The terrain below sped by.

    Why did I have to accept this mission?

    Obi-Wan?s grip on the controls tightened, turning his knuckles white. Obi-Wan smiled as he saw the familiar canyon ahead. Obi-Wan increased his speed noticably.

    ?Obi-Wan don?t forget about the outcropping,? Qui-Gon said with slight amusement in his voice. Qui-Gon was happy Obi-Wan had accepted this mission. It would give their bond time to finish healing.

    Obi-Wan moved through the canyon with experience. Avoiding every outcropping and making each turn smoother than the last. Obi-Wan?s mind began to remember things like the canyon and the capital city of Melida-Daan, Zehava.

    And a thought struck Obi-Wan, and then made him question everything that had happened since he left Melida-Daan.

    Why did I ever block out these memories?

    After a few more minutes Obi-Wan pulled out of the canyon and headed for Zehava. Flying over the city was astonishing to say the least. Once crumbling buildings were now new. People flooded the streets and well as markets. And the ruins of the once destroyed towers that had surrounded the city were no gone.

    The landing platform came into sight and Obi-Wan slowed his speed. The landing gears came out and Obi-Wan landed gently without even the slightest bump. Qui-Gon stood and lowered the ramp, Obi-Wan only a few feet behind him. Obi-Wan stopped at the bottom of the ramp, his vision blurred as his eyes were stung by tears.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    ~Neobi
     
  6. Obi-Zahn Kenobi

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 1999
    It looks interesting, but I could beta it for you, and help you tune it up. A beta is someone who reviews your post, as the little bit of the story is called, and changes small things to make it look better.

    It's interesting, but it needs more description and more substance, and you need to space yoour paragraphs. Like I did in the middle of this.

    Obi-Wan's blind? Cool!

    Anyway, I know how you feel, no one reads my story either....
     
  7. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    Ya I would really like that. I'm new so I need as much help as possible.
     
  8. Obi-Zahn Kenobi

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 1999
    Here is an edited version of the two posts.




    Yoda had asked Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to stay at the temple for a while, he wished for them to have some time to recover over the death of Tahl. So far it had been a peaceful stay, mostly meditating, but today Yoda had requested that they come to the council. Qui-Gon had sensed some stress in Yoda's voice. This made him worry because Yoda normally hid his emotions.

    Right now he and Obi-Wan were waiting out side the room. After a few minutes the door slid open and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan walked into the center of the room.
    "Obi-Wan, during your time on Melida-Daan did you have relations with a girl named Tikatee?" Mace said.

    Surprised Qui-Gon looked at Mace then at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan did not like having anything to do with Melida-Daan brought up but he answered, "Yes Master, but it was after I left the jedi and after Cerasi..."
    "Needed not, an explanation is," Yoda interrupted, "but know you must, that child she bore, force sensitive think they do."

    * * *

    Obi-Wan's grip on the controls of the small starfighter was turning his knuckles a bleached bone white. His mind flooded with questions. He had not chosen to take this mission. The Council had thought it best if he and Qui-Gon went to see if the child was force sensitive.

    The starfighter darted into the atmosphere. Obi-Wan moved the starfighter into a canyon. And his memory came rushing back as if he was chained to the bottom of a dry river bed then suddenly came back to life. His grip lightened on the controls and the ship's speed increased.

    "Obi-Wan, you need to slow down, remember last time." Qui-Gon said in a calm voice. Last time Obi_Wan had not seen an outcropping in the canyon wall and had scratched the starfighter that had been on loan. Reluctantly he slowed down but not enough to avert disaster.

    He sped through the canyon, darting around hidden outcroppings that normally could not be seen until it was too late. He remembered every inch of this canyon and of the city. He pulled up out of the canyon turned and headed for Zehava, the capital of the planet.

    Obi-Wan's eyes scanned the city. Its different, he thought. He was right, once crumbling buildings now looked new. The streets filled with people and the ruins of the towers gone. He remember the towers being some of the first things he destroyed here.

    He saw a landing platform ahead, he slowed his speed and gently without even the slightest bump he landed. Qui-Gon got up and lowered the ramp. Obi-Wan walked down it after his master. When he reached the bottom his vision blurred...




    If you want, you can copy and past these int your posts and I can edit this to remove this.

    Looks good
     
  9. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    More coming, I hope you like my story. Please post any thoughts you have on it so far.
     
  10. Obi-Zahn Kenobi

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 1999
    This post was interesting, Obi-Wan has a kid, heh? I'm not into storys with themes liek that but this looks like it could be good. Please, I don't want anyone to ake any credit from me so please copy and paste the above post and I'll edit that post, to make you get the credit you deserve
     
  11. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
    This is really great Neobi. Keep it coming! :D
     
  12. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Oooo, this is good!
     
  13. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
  14. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
  15. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    Next post soon!
     
  16. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    The sun was low in the sky and Qui-Gon had to squint to see. As the sun lowered in the sky a statue that had not been visible before stood a few feet from the landing platform. It was a statue of a teenager and it stood at 7 feet. Qui-Gon knew all too well who it was.

    Cerasi, the gray stone could never portray who you really were.

    Qui-Gon then noticed that Obi-Wan was not behind him. He turned slowly; he knew what the loss of Cerasi had done to Obi-Wan. They had fought next to each other on the fields of war. They had been a family, a family that had been given to him and had been like no other; and taken away. Obi-Wan?s eyes were glazed with tears, tears that he refused to let flow.

    ?Obi-Wan, it is getting late and we still have to meet our guild; we must continue,? Qui-Gon said in a low, sympathetic voice.

    ?Yes, Master? Obi-Wan replied his voice distant.

    As Qui-Gon turned he realized another had come while he and Obi-Wan had talked. It was a young man about the same age as Obi-Wan, yet nearly four inches taller. He had dark hair and slightly tan skin.

    ?You?ve gotten tanned, and taller,? Qui-Gon said with a smile. It had been quiet a while since he had last seen the boy. ?Might I say that the white is a change, Nield.?

    "Well, when you are as pale as I was; black looked good; but I just had to go and spend time in the sun. And a tan doesn?t look good with black," said Nield with a smirk.

    Nield?s smirk faded as he saw Obi-Wan, who?s gaze was still on the statue of his friend. Nield slowly walked over to him.

    ?I still miss her too,? and with that Nield hugged Obi-Wan. Not as a friend but as a brother.

    Obi-Wan hugged back then smiled and took a step back. ?She would be proud of you Nield.?

    ?And of you.?

    ?Here, come see, I designed the statue myself,? the young man said to the two of them. Eagerly the two friends went to the statue, Qui-Gon a few steps behind to give them space.

    When they reached the statue Qui-Gon saw that it wasn?t just any stone but stone that had been polished and detailed to the point were it looked just like her. At the feet of the statue there was a plaque that read ?In memory of Cerasi. The light that lead us out of the war.?

    Below the plaque embedded in the stone was a holographic message unit. Slowly Obi-Wan pressed a button that would start the massage. An image of Cerasi appeared. Qui-Gon was surprised that time had not changed her picture into a fuzzy mess. In her clear strong voice her message once again rang in his ears:

    **?I made my decision after the war ended, I will no longer carry a weapon. I will fight no more in the name of peace. But today I might die for it. Do me a favor, friends. Don?t build any monuments for me. Don?t destroy any, either.

    ?History isn?t in our favor, but that doesn?t mean we should annihilate it. Don?t let our dream of peace die. Work for it. Don?t kill it. We fought one war for peace. We always said that one war had to be enough. Don?t mourn too long for me. After all, I wanted peace. Look at it this way. Now I have it forever.? **

    And with that her image wavered and disappeared. Nield turned to Obi-Wan. ?I know she asked us not to build a monument but Wehutti said ?I am not her friend but her father, and she asked her FRIENDS not to build a monument not me.? So I told him ok but I would have to design it. Then someone decided to make a monument for each leader of peace.? Nield spread his arms as if to present the surrounding area.

    Qui-Gon, for the first time realized there was more than one statue. And as he looked closer he could recognize many of them. There was Deila, Roenni, Nield, and then his eyes stop as he saw one of the last statues.
    It was near a fountain that he knew very well. As Qui-Gon walked up to it and the two friends followed.

    Qui-Gon read the plaque out loud ?Obi-Wan Kenobi. He became part of the three, and showed us that we really are everyone.?

    Obi-Wan turned to Nield as to object, saying that he really didn?t deserve one; but Nield stopped him and in a l
     
  17. Ginger_Jedi

    Ginger_Jedi Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2001
    I liked the last line especially: not as a friend but as a brother :) Nice touch Neobi
     
  18. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
  19. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    Ekkk, I need more readers!
     
  20. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    **He could see the guard?s mouth drop in surprise as Obi-Wan hurtled toward him, feet first. He knocked him down, then grabbed his blaster.

    The second guard turned just in time to see the first go down. Obi-Wan was already whirling, coming at the guard with a kick to the chin. The guard fell, cracking his head against the stone floor.

    His blaster rifle skidded away, and Obi-Wan jumped back toward Nield. Nield and Cerasi had already begun moving forward, firing at the guards? **

    Obi-Wan sat up in his bed.

    It?s just a dream. He repeated in his mind. Just a dream.

    Obi-Wan had been having dreams with blaster fire, explosions, starfighters, and Cerasi, for the last two nights. Quietly he got up and walked to the window of his room. The night before Nield had taken them out to dinner then had brought them to his home. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had both gotten their own rooms.

    Slowly Obi-Wan pulled the curtain that covered the window back. The sun was just barely coming over the horizon.

    Morning.

    Obi-Wan had forgotten that the sun rises here were so beautiful. It was the first sun rise that Obi-Wan had seen that did not have bombs streaking across it or have blaster firers echoing in the back round. Suddenly he caught himself planning a raid.

    The war is over, there is no reason to be on guard. Obi-Wan told himself.

    A sudden shot of pain ran through Obi-Wan?s heart, as he thought of how he, Nield, and Cerasi used to take turns guarding the younger ones. The pain lessened as he remembered a time when Cerasi, Nield, Tikatee, and he went out with some others to clean up a section of the city.

    Then he smiled, wondering if he had a boy or a girl. His thoughts about the child faded as he sensed his master waking.
     
  21. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
  22. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
    Great posts Neobi! :D
     
  23. snowbee-wan kenobi

    snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2000
    This is great!
    More please!!!!
     
  24. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    Sorry its taking so long for the next post. I will have it soon.
     
  25. Neobi_Kenobi

    Neobi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2001
    Up Next post should be here before 27.
     
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