A Matter of Faith (JA fan-fic)

Hi, everyone! This is my first SW fan-fic and one of the few times I've ever even posted... so please bear with me if I totally screw up. I always wondered what made Yoda decide QG and OW were the perfect match, and this is my attempt to explain it. The story takes place between JAs 8 and 9, and spoilers for most of the JA books are included. Please, let me know if I should continue, or if you're totally bored out of your minds...

Okay, here goes.... :>

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Thirteen-year-old Obi-Wan Kenobi crept silently down the dimly-lit corridor, his eyes narrowed, his ears primed to detect the slightest of sounds. With a silent wave of his hand, he motioned for his Master to follow behind him. As he reached the first closed door, Obi-Wan stretched out with his senses, searching the Force for any signs of a presence in the room before him. None detected, he pulled open the door and took a few steps in, breathing a sigh of relief as the chamber did indeed appear to be empty. Obi-Wan turned slowly--then gasped in a stunned dismay at the sight of a wizened Dressellian man quietly reading in a back corner of the room.

The Dressellian put the book down and smiled at the boy standing before him. ?You?re very fortunate I?m not a security guard with one hand on the alarm button,? the man noted pleasantly. ?You?d have quite a lot of trouble on your hands.?

Obi-Wan floundered about desperately in search of his voice. ?I-I...?

His Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, stepped briskly into the room and nodded a greeting to the Dressellian. ?My apologies, Master Aeris,? he said, as he shepherded a still speechless Obi-Wan before him out of the room. ?We won?t disturb you again.?

?No bother at all, Master Jinn,? the Dressellian called after them. ??Force be with you, Obi-Wan.?

As the pair exited the room, Obi-Wan leaned dispiritedly against the corridor wall. He had failed this particular exercise yet AGAIN.

The labyrinth of rooms, alcoves, and hallways on the second level of the Temple Library served a dual purpose for the Jedi in residence there. In addition to providing a quiet spot for Jedi to study the works amassed in the Temple?s collection, it was where Padawans came to learn one of the most vital skills needed in search-and-rescue missions: using the Force to detect the presence of others in the surrounding area. The two purposes of this area were not usually at odds with each other. While the sensing the Force signatures of other beings was a moderately difficult skill to acquire, the strong Force presence of the Masters and Knights usually inhabiting these rooms made them more easily detected by student learners. And since the purpose of the exercise was to avoid encountering others, the students made every effort to avoid areas inhabited by another.

At least, that was usually how it worked.

Today, however, was a different story. In the four hours that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had worked on this particular skill, Obi-Wan had managed to interrupt no less than a dozen Jedi Knights and Masters in their studies. It puzzled Qui-Gon to no end why his bright and often surprisingly adept young student was having so much trouble with this particular assignment. True, this skill was dependent on one?s sensitivity to the Living Force... and the Living Force was by no means his Padawan?s strength. But even in skills requiring him to draw on the Living Force, his Padawan had typically made great strides in mastering the skill with no more than a moderate amount of repetition on his part. That today?s exercise had proved such a marked exception to that rule made no sense whatsoever to the Jedi Master.

Qui-Gon sighed. But that was a question for another time. Right now, he just needed to get his Padawan through this accursed exercise. ?Okay, Obi-Wan,? he said finally. ?Let?s try this again. Stretch out with your feelings. Don?t commit yourself to a course of action until you?re absolutely sure it?s safe. And remember... the Force flows through you best when you are at peace.?

His apprentice took a deep, ca

 

As the boy turned away and flung himself miserably onto a cushioned bench several meters down the hall, Qui-Gon closed his eyes and administered a swift mental kick to his own backside. What kind of a Master was he, to let his control slip and his frustration show like that? And especially to a student under as much stress as his young apprentice currently was.

Less than two months ago, Obi-Wan had made an impetuous decision to leave the Jedi Order. Though Obi-Wan had soon regretted this decision, and though he and Qui-Gon had largely mended the tear this decision had made in their bond, the Jedi Council had yet to accept Obi-Wan back into the Order, and so Qui-Gon could not officially claim Obi-Wan as his Padawan. The pair had spent the past three weeks at the Temple in hopes of resolving that particular obstacle.

Upon his and Obi-Wan's return here, the Council had assigned Obi-Wan a demanding schedule of interviews, assignments, and exercises. Though Qui-Gon knew this schedule was meant solely to confirm Obi-Wan's newly rediscovered commitment to the Order, and was not a reflection on Obi-Wan's abilities or the Council's belief in his worthiness as a Jedi, his young apprentice had seen these tests as nothing less than a personal indictment. The boy was convinced the Council thought him unfit to be Qui-Gon?s Padawan--and that this daunting battery of tests was designed to make Qui-Gon acknowledge this as well. Qui-Gon had done all he could to bolster Obi-Wan's flagging confidence on one end--and to rush the Council's decision to reinstate his Padawan on the other--yet until he accomplished in the latter of his two tasks, it appeared there was nothing he could do about the former.

Worse yet, a request had recently been made for a Jedi to mediate a transfer of political power between two parties on the nearby planet of Sidigra. The Council was sending Qui-Gon on that mission... without Obi-Wan. Again, the Council?s decision was not in any way a reflection on Obi-Wan himself. It was simply that Qui-Gon was needed elsewhere, and Obi-Wan... who was serving out the terms of his ?probationary? status... was not free to leave the Temple. Yet once again, his Padawan sensed a deeper meaning behind this enforced separation. Despite all Qui-Gon?s assurances to the contrary, Obi-Wan still believed the Council sought to ready the pair for their impending decision to cast Obi-Wan permanently from the Order.

And on top of all this, now you've gone and given Obi-Wan another reason to feel bad about himself. Brilliant work, Jinn. Just fabulous.

Qui-Gon silently closed the distance between him and the wretched figure of his apprentice. Obi-Wan was turned away from his Master, his head bowed and his legs curled up in a protective ball. Qui-Gon kneeled at the boy?s side and placed a gentle hand on his shoulders.

"Obi-Wan," he said softly. "How many times have you heard me use the expression 'your focus determines your reality'?"

The boy mumbled something that sounded like 'about a million.'

The Jedi Master?s eyes crinkled with affectionate warmth at the boy's rather sour response. "And you know what that means, don't you? It means the power to decide what you can and cannot do is in your own mind, Obi-Wan. I believe you can do this, Padawan. More than that, I know you can do it. But it doesn?t matter what I believe. It doesn?t even matter what the Council believes. What matters is what YOU believe, Obi-Wan... and for some reason, you just don?t believe in yourself. And that lack of faith, Obi-Wan Kenobi, is what causes you to fail."

The shrill twirping of Qui-Gon's comlink interrupted the Jedi Master in mid-breath. He frowned, then took the communicator from his belt. "Jinn here," he acknowledged.

"Master Jinn, your transport is ready," the voice on the other end stated.

Qui-Gon thumbed off the communicator with a reluctant sigh. Of all the rotten timing--! "I'd like you to work on that faith of yours while I'm gone, Padawan." He patted Obi-Wan on the shoulder and then rose to his feet. "We'll try this ex

 

I like it!! Keep on writing please.

 

Love your handle Obi-Fan!!!!!

Your level of writing is superb, I suspect that altough this may be your first SW Fanfic it is not the first story you have written.

Please continue, I am more than interested in your take on my favorite young Jedi and his sometimes clueless Master!

 

Excellent !!! and nice long posts too !!!

More? Soon?

 

You have got my attention. Love the story, the force is calling saying
Post more soon!

 

I like how you express Obi-wan's self dought. You show it better then the JA series does.

 

You should definitely continue with this story. It isn't boring at all. I hope another post is coming soon.

 

Please Post Soon, Please Post Soon, Please Post Soon, And Please Post Soon!

 

This is great! I love Obi and his "bad feelings". post more soon please.

 

This is a great story! I like it better than JA #9 which I just read. Please post more and post often!

 

Thanks for the kind words, all! I re-read my copy of this stuff last night, and all I could see was how wordy it was. :> I'll try to keep that down as much as possible from here on.

Anyway, I have about half this story already written, with just a few holes here and there. Unfortunately, one of the holes comes RIGHT after this next section. (Guess I'll have to get cracking on THAT.)

But just to move the story along....

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Obi-Wan dove under the surface of the crystal clear water. In a few strokes, he was gliding along the ocean's sandy bottom, breezing past the rainbow-colored plant lives that waved rhythmically beneath him. He spun leisurely in the water and watched as, above, the golden rays of sunlight shimmered across the water's surface.

Suddenly, a large creature surged out from a crevasse in the ocean floor. It paused, as startled to see Obi-Wan as the boy was to see it, then spat a huge cloud of murky liquid in Obi-Wan's direction. Obi-Wan backpedalled to escape the cloud, but in his fright, his feet connected solidly with the ocean floor, kicking up spray of sand that even further muddied the water. The remaining air escaped Obi-Wan's lungs in a rush of panic. Which way was up? Where had the sun gone? He couldn't breathe--!

Obi-Wan shot up from his bed, gasping for air. //Force, what a horrible dream that was!// he thought. He closed his eyes, searching for his center, and felt his heartbeat slowly return to its natural pace. Then he tentatively reached for that part of his mind that was his greatest reassurance in life.

Nothing.

Obi-Wan hadn't sensed anything along his bond with Qui-Gon since early this evening. Not that that should worry him, of course. Qui-Gon had probably only just arrived in Sidigra. He hadn't had anywhere near enough time yet to get in serious trouble, right? Besides, if Qui-Gon had gotten in trouble, wouldn't Obi-Wan have sensed it? Felt some trace of concern or tension or... or worse? Qui-Gon was still there, of course--Obi-Wan could definitely tell that--yet somehow the connection between them seemed... murky. Like the water in Obi-Wan's dream.

It was probably the distance, Obi-Wan decided. He'd never been this far away from his Master... except when he had stayed behind on Melida/Daan, of course, and at that point, his bond with Qui-Gon had been pretty much severed. Yes, the distance explained this--this murkiness. He guessed the Master/Padawan bond didn't travel through hyperspace so well.

Without even consciously forming the thought, Obi-Wan swung his legs from the bed and padded over to his communications console. Perhaps Qui-Gon had sent him a message, he thought, as he keyed in his access code.

But again, there was nothing.

Not that that means anything, he told himself. //Like I said, Qui-Gon's probably only just arrived there. He probably hasn't even reached his quarters yet, much less found time to drop his worry-wart of a Padawan a line.// Or maybe, knowing how late it was here on Coruscant, Qui-Gon decided to wait a few hours before contacting the Temple. Yes, that made sense.

Obi-Wan crawled back onto his sleepcouch and pulled the covers up to his chin. //Just go to sleep, Obi-Wan// he told himself. //You're worrying about nothing. You'll see. Qui-Gon will call first thing in the morning, and everything will be just fine.//

Obi-Wan was still telling himself that two hours later when his comlink buzzed.

He snatched the tiny gadget up in his hand, heart lodged in his throat, knowing this was bad. "Yes?" he croaked into the transceiver.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" the briskly efficient voice of the Council's administrator droid said. "The Council would like to see you in the Main Chamber. Immediately."

 

Don't stop there! This is a wonderful story. Emotions are going to be running wild.

 

No! Don't stop there keep going! Keep going! It's really good!

 

Oh oh, this could be bad for Obi!!!


Great story Obi-Fan, I look forward to more!

 

I definately like your style...lots of understandable feelings and dare I say , angst?

Your posts don't seem wordy to me at all - maybe because I'm hungering for more & more & more?

 

To the top. Oh and one more thing. . . . Post more soon PLEASE!

 

I agree with all the positive comments that have been said before about this story. You have a wonderful grasp of characterization, a flawless writing style, and a superb plot (my greatest weakness). Keep it up!

Joins throng in begging: "More, more, more!"

 

Poor Obi-Wan! Don't stop! Post more! Post more! You're writing is amazing and the plot is riveting!

 

LOL, Jee-dai! I cannot tell a lie... I LOVE Obi-angst! One more tiny post here, and then next time I'll get into the FUN stuff. (heh heh heh)

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Obi-Wan fidgeted restlessly in his seat outside the Council Chambers. Behind him, through the window, the orange Coruscant sun glimmered just above the horizon. What could it mean, Obi-Wan wondered, that the Council had called him here so very early in the morning?

Perhaps they were going to toss him out. Perhaps they'd finally decided he didn't belong in the Order, and they wanted to remove him from the Temple grounds while Qui-Gon wasn't here to argue.

This was a horrifying thought, of course, and Obi-Wan felt his stomach knot at the very idea of being cast off from the Order. Yet somehow this thought was still immeasurably better than that OTHER thought he'd had--the reason that, deep down, he REALLY suspected he'd been brought before the Council. What if something had... had happened to--?

No. He wasn't even going to finish that thought. If Qui-Gon were here, he'd be the first to tell Obi-Wan not to center on his anxieties.

Obi-Wan sighed. Of course, if his Master were here, Obi-Wan wouldn't have HAD this particular anxiety to center on.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and focused in again on the link he shared with Qui-Gon. But there was still only that strange murkiness he'd first sensed several long hours ago. What could that mean? Maybe it wasn?t just the distance affecting their bond. Maybe it meant Qui-Gon was...

//All right, drop this subject right now, Obi-Wan!// he ordered himself. //There?s no sense worrying until you find out what it is you have to worry about!//

The doors opened and one of the Council's assistants beckoned Obi-Wan to enter. He rose unsteadily, straightened his tunic, and entered the room. It seemed the time to find out was now.

 

don't stop there it's so good post post post

 

What a cruel place to end!!!! Now you have to post SOON!!!!!!!

 

Pleeeaaasssseeee post soon or the suspense is going to kill me!!! I hope the council is kind to Obi-Wan. Oh yeah did I mention: PLEASE POST SOON!!!

 

Great story---want more though. Lots and lots and lots more! Pretty please with hot fudge, whip cream, and a cherry on top?!?!