FIC: Guilty Heart (JA Angst) **COMPLETED May 7th**

This is my epic so to speak. The longest story I have ever written. It'll be posted in 5 parts. Look for the next post on Thursday.


TITLE: Guilty Heart
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM. (Obi-Wan is 18) Non-slash. Qui-Gon must to come to terms with an accident that leaves his apprentice fighting for his life.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please.
ARCHIVE: Ask me first.
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

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Guilty Heart
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"Be mindful, Obi-Wan. Use the Force to anticipate my next move. Allow it to guide you."

Master Qui-Gon Jinn studied the sparring techniques of his padawan learner, Obi-Wan Kenobi as they engaged in a mock duel within the walls of the Jedi Temple's main gym. It was an exercise that Obi-Wan always enjoyed, and it allowed him to release a great deal of his relentless energy. At the age of eighteen, Kenobi was quickly becoming one of the Order's finest young swordsmen. A feat that he and his master both took pride in.

The pair had been sparring for over an hour, each man showing signs of weariness, but neither willing to be the first to give in. Qui-Gon, always the teacher, instructed his student throughout the battle. The younger Jedi was amazed at how focused his master remained at all times. How he could point out Obi-Wan's mistakes while still knowing what his next move would be. The fact that Qui-Gon did things so easily with the light saber while holding that concentration was a cause of some frustration for the boy, but it served only to make him work harder.

As they continued their match, Obi-Wan shook off an odd feeling that ran through him briefly. He lost focus for an instant, but recovered in time to block a low strike from the older Jedi. "Keep your concentration on the here and now, Obi-Wan. Good. You anticipated my move and reacted to it. Well done."

It was then that a second flash from the Force caught the boy off guard. The disturbance ripped through his mind, and in those few seconds he lost complete control and focus. His next conscious feeling was an intensity of pain that he had never experienced before. It felt as if his chest was on fire, and a scream of agony tore through his throat. Every breath was now torture.

Qui-Gon stood for a moment in a state of shock. His world seemed to collapse in front of him. Obi-Wan had lost his focus for a brief second, but Qui-Gon was unable to stop the thrust of his saber's emerald blade from piercing the boy's chest just below his heart. For a moment, everything seemed surreal. Then Obi-Wan's scream of terror echoed through the gym and immediately Qui-Gon dropped to his knees.

"Obi-Wan? Padawan? Can you hear me? FORCE NO!! OBI-WAN!!!!"

One of the other apprentices close by reached for a com-link and called for the healers. A group crowded around the fallen student as Qui-Gon struggled to calm him. Obi-Wan's shallow breaths were panicked as he realized what had happened. He lay on his back, one hand clutching the area of the wound, the other wrapped tightly in Qui-Gon's tunic. Young tear-filled eyes found those of his teacher. "Master."

Taking a hand and brushing it through Obi-Wan's sweat soaked hair, Qui-Gon willed his own voice to remain steady. "Shh, Padawan. Don't talk. The healers are on the way. Hold on, do you hear me? Hold on."

The boy moaned as spasms of pain rocketed through his trembling body. Whether the shaking was from fear or cold, Qui-Gon could not tell, but he acted quickly, taking his robe and draping it over the young man. Tears began to sting his own eyes as he watched his apprentice fight to stay alive. "Focus on me, Obi-Wan. I'm here. I'm right here."

 

That was so sad and so sweet. I'm about to start crying. Poor Qui-Gon. I can't wait for another post.

~Cal

 

That was wonderful... sad but wonderful... can't wait until Thursday!

 

Y'know... I always wondered if stuff like this might happen.

( Poor Qui-GOn. He's gonna feel terrible. Not to mention, Obi....

 

a sweet and sad post, but I love mush!

 

Poor Obi, why do we all like to see the poor kid hurt? Isnt that just sad? hehe! Thanks for reading guys! Part 2 will def be out sometime thursday. The story is written and completed, so it's just a matter of posting.

Thanks for the great comments!!!

Obi

 

UP!

 

OTK that was, as usual, a brilliant start for a fic.

You write the best angst and what could be worse than Qui-Gon unintentionally severly injuring Obi!

Looking forward to more. Of course for tomorrow's installment I'll be bringing a box of tissues.

 

Oh man... Poor Obi... Poor Qui... Poor Bren... Oh Force, POOR EVERYONE! OTK, you must post more sooner than tomorrow!

On the other hand, I love mush, don't you?

KG

 

OH MY!!!, time stopped just like when Qui was run through in Episode 1, can't wait to find out what was that disturbance in the force that led to this disaster. 7

 

Mush did you say? Hmm, I wonder if there is any mush in this story. Hehe. So glad you guys are enjoying it. Thanks for the feedback!

Obi

 

Cool Post!!!

Obi angst Pre-TPM is always good [face_devik]

MORE!!

 

Good begining, Obi. What was the flicker in the Force that destracted Obi-Wan? Or was it there just so he could get hurt? I love Obi/Qui anguish. But I need more you know. Much, much, MUCH more.

~Swede

 

So sad, so sad.

I want a tissue.

 

You always post the bestest stories.

 

THANKS everyone!!! The disturbance part wont actually be dealt with until the sequel (uh, which i have not written yet.) This story is mainly gonna focus on Qui and Obi (and Bren). Part 2 will post later this evening!!!!

Thanks for reading!

Obi

 

I decided to post a bit early today. Here's part 2 for you guys!!!!!....Obi

Guilty Heart Part 2

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Obi-Wan could feel himself floating. He thought he sensed a familiar presence, but everything was so foggy, he didn't know if it was all just his mind playing tricks on him. A hand had been holding his, a baritone voice had been calling his name, a finger had caressed his cheek. He'd felt comforted by this presence, but now it was no longer there. In its place was a cold and empty feeling of loneliness and despair. Slowly, he fell again into the blackness that beckoned.

********

Getting up from his chair, Taj sat on the edge of the bed where his friend slept. He touched his hand briefly, then turned sadly to his master. "He could die."

"Yes he could, Padawan."

"In my years as an apprentice, I've never lost anyone close to me."

"You are fortunate Taj, by your age, most Jedi have lost a close friend."

Taj hung his head. "I don't want that first friend to be Obi-Wan, Master Jerra." The young man collapsed into the chair next to his master and felt the warmth of a soft hand on his arm.

"I know this is not easy, Taj, but you must be strong for him. He needs whatever love and support we can offer. Okay?"

"Yes, Master."

**********

"Qui-Gon, it won't do you any good to sit in here and brood over this. This will not help Obi-Wan. You get into a shower and I will make you something that your stomach can handle."

But Qui-Gon was not ready to leave his padawan's bedroom just yet. He'd gone in to try and find that peace that eluded him, to feel the essence that was his student. Instead, he found more pain. "I'll get cleaned up soon enough. I need to do this."

Bren stood in the doorway, hands on her hips. "Do what? Wallow in self-pity? If you want to help him, Qui-Gon, you get yourself rested so when he needs you...when he really needs you...you are there. You can't bury yourself in his room and..."

The tall master stood and a brief flash of anger passed over him. "What should I do then? This is my fault, don't you see that? I should have seen this coming, I should have been able to stop, I...I don't know what to do right now, Bren," he said as his voice became softer. "This is driving me crazy. What if he dies? What if..."

"What if you lose another apprentice? Stop it, Qui-Gon," she yelled. "Enough of this. That boy needs you, he's always needed you. Now more than ever. You can sit here and blame yourself, but that will only hurt him. No one blames you for what happened. As hard as we try, we can't make the dangers of our job disappear. Every master and every apprentice knows what can happen when they head out each day. Teach him all you can, and still things like this will happen. It's what we do. He is not going to die. You understand me? So don't you dare turn your back on him when he needs you the most."

"I would never do that." He sagged onto the bed.

"Good. Then go clean up, eat and rest. And in the morning, we will go sit with him again." Bren sat next to him and curled her fingers around his. "He needs you, Qui-Gon. Don't waste precious time thinking about what went wrong. Those are minutes you can spend encouraging him and fighting for him. I know what he means to you. He's important to me as well. I don't want to see either one of you like this. But it's done, and nothing you do or say can change that. As you are always telling him, keep your concentration on the here and now, where it belongs."

A small laugh from the big master threw Bren off guard. "Something funny?"

"You sound like Obi-Wan. He's always one to throw my words and lessons back at me. Seems I should practice what I teach."

"Perhaps you should," she smiled. "Come on, let's grab something to eat."

********

The feeling of loneliness continued. Obi-Wan felt panic rising within him, but he didn't understand why. Another hand took hold of his, but the sensation was not familiar. The pain was beginning once again. But this time is was different. He cried out as the spasms tore t

 

Nice post OTK and I love the relationship between Bren and Qui. Just perfect

 

OTK, that was so beautiful. But in a sad way!

Obi seems to not to so good when Qui's not there, it is like Qui has to be with Obi to help him stay alive.

How much recovery is Obi going have to go through? Will that be part of the story or the next one?

I really am wondering about that disturbance....

 

Ohh... that was good. I can't wait to read more, Obi the Kid!

Can't help wondering about the disturbance in the Force though... thank goodness for sequels! ^_~

 

Don't worry, I have a bunny set for the sequel that will deal with the disturbance. It's the next story on my list to write.

Poor Obi. But you guys know you like to see him suffer, dont you? hehehe! Me too!

Thanks for the comments as always!

Obi

 

Of course we like to see Obi suffer. And it's better is Qui is there at his side worrying through it all.

Good post, Obi. I'm was getting worried about Obi-Wan though when he started to sink back into coma. Can't wait for the next part.

~Swede

 

Great story OTK and what a brilliant idea!!!!

I have often thought that when the boys train it's a wonder that nobody ever gets seriously hurt, accidentally of course!!!!

Love your Qui-Gon, this is what I wish canon Qui-Gon could have been!!!

 

Thanks Swede and Kelly! Yes, exactly what I was thinking. You would think they'd do a good amount of saber practice...eventually someone HAS to get seriously hurt, right?

Obi

 

Wow OTK!!!
This is an awesome story so far!
Can't wait 4 more!
-S-WK