The Best Deceptions (Pre-TPM to ROTJ. Romance, angst, AU. FINISHED: 10/13)

Ok?first shot at a Star Wars fic?please be nice?

Summary: 25 years before TPM, two Jedi Knights head to Tatooine for a mission and meet a woman that changes their lives; Shmi Skywalker. She falls in love with one of the Jedi?but what effect will it have on the future?

Disclaimer: I don?t own anyone except for Olin.(Explanation later?) NOTE: I changed Shmi?s age. In TPM, she?s 40?making her 15 in this?that would be just?wrong so, in this, she?s 28. So, according to me, she?s 53 in TPM. The title is from the band Dashboard Confessional (great mellow band). Some of the chapter titles are from lyrics/song titles. Credit to that band. A lot of the inspiration came from them.

//...// means comunication through the bond(later on)
'...' is thoughts
*...* Is flashback.(Later on)
Now it's time to read...this is your last chance to hit the back button...

The Best Deceptions
Chapter 1: Yes, this is love for the first time?

In the depth of space, everything was peaceful. All was quiet and the stars hung in the pitch black sky, proving that even in the darkest of places, there was still light. A small Jedi ship interrupted the solitude as it headed for a remote planet, Tatooine. Normally, a Jedi?s ship wouldn?t venture to this planet, seeing as it was controlled by the Hutts, but it was a special occasion.

Inside the ship, two Jedi knights sat, one piloting the ship, the other looking out the window. ?They?re amazing aren?t they?? The Jedi starring out the window suddenly said. The other glanced back at him for a moment, clearly confused. ?The stars?or the planets?? The pilot rolled his eyes and turned back to guide the ship. He had heard this conversation many times before. ?Every time we?re in a ship together?? He mused to himself. ?If I wasn?t a Jedi, I?d dedicate my life to visit every single planet.? The pilot laughed from his seat.

?There?s too many. It?d take you your whole life to see just half of them.?

?I don?t care?it?d be something to live for.? The pilot couldn?t help but nod. The Jedi was right; it would be interesting. They both have visited many planets and the difference between each one never ceased to amaze them. ?Tatooine right?? The pilot nodded again. ?Why are we going there again?? The pilot laughed.

?We haven?t even gotten there and you?ve already forgotten our mission? Some Jedi you?ll make!? Shaking his head, he explained the mission to his companion again. ?There was a murder. Normally, we don?t take cases out here but this is different. It was a slave. There was one witness, another slave, and she said the weapon used was like a staff, but with a deadly beam of light?a lightsaber.?

?Sounds like fun?what?s the slave?s name??

?I?m not sure, but she?s property of Gardulla the Hutt.? The Jedi nodded and resumed staring out the window. ?We?re almost there.? He paused, noticing that the Jedi had made no attempt to move from his seat. ?OLIN!? The Jedi, Olin, jumped up out of his seat. ?We are almost there, get ready.?

?Ok! Geez, you didn?t have to give me a heart attack! I think you?ve given up your life as a Jedi and you just follow me, making my life miserable!? Olin said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

The pilot smiled. ?But it?s my job.?

?Fine then. Note to self; get Qui-Gon a new job.? Qui-Gon smiled. He was used to Olin?s dry sense of humor.

Qui-Gon Jinn, 35 standard years old, and Olin Kun, 36, had been knighted almost 10 years ago. Well, Qui-Gon had been knighted 10 years ago. Olin was 8 years ago, therefore being teased by Qui-Gon as ?slow?. But, they made a good team and were often put on missions together. The council knew they were both smart and strong and together, making them sometimes undefeatable.

As Qui-Gon set the ship down, he brushed his short, but growing, brown hair our of his eyes. ?Tell me again, why are you growing out your hair anyway? I though you hated it long and you said you despised beards too!?

?I?m not sure?? While Qui-Gon was growing out his hair, along with a beard, Olin was the opposite; a constant clean shave an

 

Please tell me what you think.

 

It wasn't that bad. The only thing that was weird was when Olin gave her that kiss. It just seemed so sudden and abrupt, especially after the forbidden comment. It kinda disrupted the flow of the story.

Another thing is how he could tell she was pregnant, especially when Tatooine is so far away from Coruscant.

Also, pls avoid putting an author's note in the middle of the story. It also disrupt the story. If it's necessary, add it at the end.

Otherwise, look forward.

 

(Thanks for your comment. I wasn?t sure on how to do both of those scenes. I would change it, but I can?t. no idea what to change it to. But, here?s another chapter. I sorry for the lack of goodness. Tell me if I should give up or not.)

Chapter 2: I?ll be fine on my own?

Qui-Gon stared at Olin in shock. ?Shmi is pregnant? How does he know that?? Before he could ask his friend, he was on his feet, rushing off. Qui-Gon jumped up, following his friend. ?Olin! Where are you going?? Olin stopped for a moment, all his emotions worn on his face; fear, yet joy, confusion, determination, all mixed as one.

?First I?m going to the Council. Then I?m going to Tatooine.?

?How do you know that she is? Tatooine is quite far from here. Nothing like this could travel that distance.?

?Well I guess you?re wrong. I don?t know how I know but I just do.? Olin turned on his heal and headed down the halls of the masive Jedi temple again. Qui-Gon shook his head, then went back into his room. ?I think you?ve gone too far this time Olin??

***

Olin was never a man to know patience?and that always got the best of him. ?Who wishes to seek the Council?? A droid asked the Jedi.

?Jedi Knight Olin Kun. It is urgent.? The droid sent the mission to the Council, then turned back to Olin.

?The Council will see you now.? Without waiting any longer, Olin strode through the doors, then took his place in the center, the members of the Council watching him intently.

?What is it?? Mace Windu asked.

?Master, while I was on Tatooine?? He started, loosing confidence in himself as the seconds passed. He told the Council what had happened on Tatooine and the feeling in his quarters only minutes ago.

?Why exactly did you have a relationship with this woman??

?I fell in love.? The Council members glared at him in disapproval.

?Love is forbidden.? Olin shrugged.

?I did not choose to fall in love. It was the will of the Force. Masters, you must know I had no control over if I do or do not love someone. It cannot be controlled.? A few of the members nodded, all still disapproving this affair. ?I seek permission to return to Tatooine. I wish to see her and my child.? After a moment of silent argument through out the Council, Mace spoke up.

?No.? Olin raised an eyebrow. ?We forbid you to return to Tatooine. You will proceed with the mission with Qui-Gon. The only time you will be in Tatooine is if you are needed there for a mission.?

?Masters, I will go to Tatooine?and if I need to, I will step down from the Jedi Order.? Shock enveloped the Council. This was something none of them expected. Yoda finally spoke.

?Return to Tatooine you will.? Every eye of the council went to the little green dwarf. ?Needed for the future you child is. Powerful Jedi he will be. Bring him back to the temple you must. Depending on it lives are.? Olin smiled. ?Accompany the trip Qui-Gon will. May the Force be with you.? Olin bowed, then left the Council chambers. ?I have a feeling they won?t be able to stop talking about me until I return?? he thought to himself before making his way back to his quarters.

***

Qui-Gon looked up at Olin, who was practically beaming, as he entered. ?Went well??

?Get up, we?re going to Tatooine.? Qui-Gon rolled his eyes. ?Leave it to Olin to force the Council to let him do what he wishes??

(This isn't the end of Chapter 2. More will be up later on.)

 

Up!

 

I know this is pointless but UP AGAIN!

 

I found it!!!

: CK does her happy dance:

Now, as far as the story goes... I like it. I like your original character, and I can see where Qui-Gon and he would get along so well (Defying the Council seems to be a common trait )

I disagree with lija's comment about the kiss seeming forced. Somehow, to me at least, it seemed vaguely reminiscent of this scene I just saw in this movie. It had this guy and girl on a balcony talking/thinking about, among other things, the continuing conversation about Jedi not being allowed to love. And then they kiss...

Anyhow, back to the review. I do agree with lija about having the writer's comment in the middle of the story, it does disrupt the flow. I can see where your inspiration came from Moulin Rouge however, and I have been just as tempted to toss some of Christian into the Star Wars world just to see what would happen. It might be better to wait until the end, and then italicize the dialogue and add your note to it then.

I do see how Olin could have known that Shmi was pregnant, especially if it is Anakin she is pregnant with (or someone equally powerful in the Force to what Anakin would have been). The ?I?m not going to hurt you?we need you for the future?? was chilling.

So, to wrap it all up, I liked your story and I would be interested in seeing you continue this. Do you actually intend to take it all the way through RotJ? Do I dare hope Obi-Wan Kenobi will still make an apperance?

: CK drops to her knees and begs:

Pretty please can you put Obi in and NOT kill him

In the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi in AotC (minus the sarcasm implied in the actual scene) "Good Job!"

 

(CK, thank you. I am honored for your reply. Here?s the rest of the chapter and yes this will go on until ROTJ. It?ll be long but I like where this is going. I?m trying to control my need for putting random comments in the middle of my fic but I lost all my self control in the car crash (. And you question about Obi-Wan is about to be answered?tee hee?and I?m sorry if I jump around a bit. I not too bright.)

(On Tatooine, months later)

?Things are finally how I want them to be.? Olin thought, a smile that he had worn since he left Coruscant still on his face. He started down at the bundle in his arms. ?My son?I never thought I?d have a son and look at me now?? Slowly he brushed a piece of ginger hair out of his son?s eyes. ?My little Ben Kun?? He looked over at Shmi, asleep. He?d come to love her more and more during this visit?it would be hard to go back to the temple?he wasn?t even sure if he was going to go back. But Ben was strong with the force?very strong. ?Perhaps this is why Master Yoda let me go??

Letting out a sigh, he turned to Qui-Gon. ?Can you take Ben?? Qui-Gon gave him a look that practically screamed ?why do you bother asking?? as he handed Ben to the Knight. ?I?m going to take a walk?I need to clear my head.? He started leaving, when Qui-Gon spoke again.

?You don?t want to leave??

?What would you do? I?ve got everything I?ve ever wanted. Someone who loves me, a child and if I go back to the Temple I?ll lose it all.? Qui-Gon just nodded, trying to understand his friend. ?I?ll be back soon.? Leaning over and giving Shmi a quick kiss on the top of her head, and muttering a quick ?I love you? he left, watching the two suns of Tatooine set in the distance. For a moment, all his problems disappeared like the sun?s light in the night?for a moment?

***

Once again, Qui-Gon shut his eyes, trying to pick out Olin?s Force signature?only to find nothing at all. The Knight was beginning to fear for his friend. ?He should?ve been back hours ago.? He looked down at Ben again. The child seemed to be safe with anyone of the three?but mostly with Qui-Gon. ?Shmi.? He whispered, shaking the new mother awake gently. ?I?ll be back soon. Olin went for a walk and he hasn?t come back. I?m just going to look for him.? He told her, handing her child to her. She just nodded, obviously trying to be calm. But her eyes betrayed her. Fear shone through. ?Knowing him, he got himself lost.? She let out a weak laugh, holding little Ben closer to her.

?Good luck Sir Jedi.?

?Shmi, for the last time, call me Qui-Gon.? He told her before leaving. The two suns were just coming up?and he walked up, ignoring the scorching heat, searching for his friend. Hours later, he found what he had been looking for?but not in the way he had wished.

Laying in the sands of Tatooine was Olin Kun, dead. A hole through his chest only made by one thing. ?A lightsaber.? Qui-Gon thought, trying to get over the shock of finding his friend dead?then he noticed a small device next to him. Picking it up, Qui-Gon checked through the Force, making sure nothing would happen from this. Finding nothing, he pressed a small button and a deep, crackling voice came through it.

?I?m coming for the boy next??

?Ben.? Qui-Gon instantly thought. He made a quick mental note of his surroundings to reclaim his fallen friend?s body afterwards. Right now his main concern was Ben?s safety. He turned and ran back to Shmi?s home. And Qui-Gon Jinn has never run faster in his life. As soon as he came in through the door, he let out a sigh of releif when he saw Shmi holding little Ben. She looked at him expectantly, putting Ben down.

?What happened??

??Olin was killed.? He told her as gently as he could. She stiffened, staring at the tall Jedi. ?I?m sorry?but there is more. Ben is in danger.? She sat, burring her head in her hands. ?If you wish to keep your son alive, I can take him to the Jedi Temple. There he can become a Jedi?but to keep him completely safe, I?ll change his name. Whatever killed Olin is going to come after Ben?I know you do

 

AAAHHH!!! Master_Comedy_Kitty, you are my new hero!!! Obi-Wan Kenobi takes the place of the galactic brat and whiny offspring!

: CK takes several deep breaths:

Ok, I'm ok now.... You have no idea of the reaction I had when Olin looks down at his son and calls him "Ben." I think I scared the tar out of my German Shepherd. All of her hair stood up and she started barking, all 'cause I was so darn excited

Great post, more soon though, 'k?

 

(blushes)lol
Don't get too exited CK. Just wait until the next chappy k? More things will be all cleared up. But I am glad I am your hero...

 

Just upping

 

This is really great so far M_C_Kitty

I like the premise and I think that Olin and Shmi being drawn together as a sign of the force definately explains the rather abrupt infatuation between the two. Obviously the force had a plan, and it was in a hurry

This is an A/U so don't worry about changing things. You've done a good job explaining the changes that you have made. Everthing that you've said so far sounds plausible--within the SW universe that is

I'd like to offer some advice that someone so kindly offered me when I first started posting as well (This is for you CYN) Don't worry about what everyone else is going to think. Just do what feels right and enjoy the ride. People will read, or they wont. Take your time and let things develop on their own.

You are definately off to a good start, and i'll be looking for more.

 

(seeing as I am currently competing with CK, I will write another chapter. CK, you know what to do?POST! And I am not worthy of such good comments?lies! All lies! We all know I suck! I changed some of the lines from TPM but all well. I made it fit. And I apologize for skipping around. If I wrote the whol movie, we?d be here forever and no one wants that.)

Chapter 3: Patterns Repeat?
(25 years later?)

Qui-Gon looked over at his Padawan, hardly believing this was the baby he had taken from Tatooine all those years ago. He had his mother?s ginger hair (assuming it became darker over 25 years.) and his father deep blue/green eyes. After his other padawan Xanatos had fallen, he was reluctant to take a padawan?then he saw Obi-Wan and remembered his close bond with the boy. He had never told obi-Wan about his parents?and maybe he never would.

Now the Master/padawan pair were on Queen Amidala?s Royal Starship, currently assigned to protect the young Queen on their journey to Coruscant. Qui-Gon thought to himself, wondering what to do. Their ship was damaged and they needed to land somewhere to repair it?but where.

?Here Master.? Qui-Gon turned to his apprentice, who was pointing at a planet on the small screen. ?Tatooine. Small, out of the way, poor. The Trade Federation has no presence there.? The Jedi hid a smile. The boy?s instincts were taking him back home?

?How can you be sure?? Captain Panaka asked. Qui-Gon sighed. ?Here?s the hard part??

?It?s controlled by the Hutts.? This was definitely not what Panaka wanted to hear.

?You can?t take her royal Highness there! The Hutts are gangsters!? The captain protested. That Captain had become their biggest problem lately. He didn?t seem to like the Knights too much and was a tad bit too over protective of the Queen. ?If they discover her-?

?It would be no different than if we landed on a system controlled by the Federation, only the Hutts aren?t looking for her, which gives us the advantage.? This kept the captain quiet for a moment, so Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan took this moment to leave.

?Well that was easy.? Obi-Wan mused. ?Another thing he picked up from his father?that sense of humor?? Everyday, Obi-Wan reminded him more and more of Olin. In everything he did, even some of his mistakes. Every time Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan, he always thought of his parents. ?They?d be so proud of him?I know I am.? ?Master!? Qui-Gon looked back at Obi-Wan who wore a small smirk.

?Sorry padawan?just thinking.? The young man?s grin widened.

?Perhaps you should head your own advice. Keep your thoughts on here and now.? The old Jedi smiled, reaching over to Obi-Wan, tugging on his braid.

?Mock me again, you?ll be meditating for a week.?

?Yes Master. Now we must see the Queen. She requests our presence.? He followed Obi-Wan, trying to ignore his feelings of returning to Tatooine.

***

Qui-Gon, a gungan Jar Jar, a droid R2D2 and the Queen?s handmaiden walked down the dusty streets of Mos Espa. ?I?m sure we look like locals?? He thought to himself, looking at his small group. ?We?ll try one of the smaller dealers.? He told them, pointing to ?Watto?s junk shop?, ignoring Jar Jar?s continuing complaints. As soon as he entered the shop, a Toydarian flew up to the Jedi, greeting him in Huttese. ?I need parts for a J-type 327 Nubian.?

?Ah! Nubian! We have lots of that!? The Toydarian said, all too eager.

?My droid has a read out of what I need.?

The Toydarian, who Qui-Gon assumed was Watto, shouted something out in Huttese again and a small boy ran out, talking to the owner of the shop. A familiar wave swept over Qui-Gon. There was something about this boy? ?So, let me take you out back. You?ll find what you need.? Ignoring the feeling, Qui-Gon turned to Jar Jar.

?Don?t touch anything.? He warned, glancing at the boy once last time. Defiantly something familiar?

***

Qui-Gon had a bad feeling. So far, his small group had no money and nothing to trade with?things were looking bad. ?They could be worse.? Then he noticed somethi

 

Just upping...again...

 

OOOOOOOOH! Interesting. Obi and Ani are brothers? I'm not sure how I feel about that. I guess that depends on what you plan to do with it.

Just who is the chosen one here? If you are reading my fic--and I know you are --you know who I think the chosen one is.

What is Obi's midichlorian count anyways? It's got to be higher than Ani's. I'm feeling terribly defensive of Obi here for some reason.

Now you've got me all worried Seriously. You must clear this matter up. Good integration of the movie into your fic also.

 

Hey this is really good! I'm glad I finally caught up! *cheers*

Ahh... nothing like a good AU. Love how Obi-Wan and Anakin are brothers... even though I detest Anakin... most of the time.

Great job, and can't wait for more!

 

hmm... you edited TPM to what you wanted... COULDN'T YOU HAVE KILLED OFF JAR-JAR AND DITCHED THE "YIPPEE!!!"

OK, other than that little ongoing rant, I liked this. I hope Qui-Gon doesn't die... Cause if Ani turns and Obi never knows, that'd just be sad. If you do keep things the same... could you at least make Obi-Wan's life a little happier? (not that I'm one to talk... primo Obi-torturer right here)

CK

 

Shanobi; I would love to be all protective of Obi too but I'm going alongthe lines of the movie. Ani is still the Chosen One, his midi-chlorain is higher(seeing as his dad was kinda dead when he was...er, made.lol) but do not fear. Obi has got his own prophecy...I just gotta figure out what his destiny is. Next part will be up when 2 things happen: 1. I write it (have half already done) and 2; when Ck posts...and maybe you too...hee hee.. BTW, i loved you fic 'from this moment' it made me cry!

sheleigh Whoo! A new reader! Don't hate him! I can't hate him...my friend will hurt me.

Glad you guys like this! Didn't think anyone would. i have to give credit to my friend Dana "Skywalker" as she would like it. She came up with the idea or olin and Obi and Ani being brothers. i just put it to words and added stuff. So clap for dana!

Edit: *growls* CK posts at the same time as me again...go figure. Well you're gonna have to wait for the next chapy to see what happens. But speaking of Jar Jar I once had a dream when I couldn't kill him. I tried so many ways but none worked. THE HORROR!

 

I also had a dream about killing Jar Jar... ahh... it was such a wonderful one too. Heh heh...

I'm sorry! I don't really hate him... okay I do... but he was so obnoxious in Episode I! And in Episode II all he did was whine about Obi-Wan being unfair... he acted like a three year old!!

But I'll try and like him if it makes you feel better!

 

Don't worry sheleigh, you'll like Ani in chapter...*flips through papers* damn me and my dis-orginizingness(worst word I've ever made up)...in part of chapter 4 and all of 5. I will force you to say 'aww!'

I wish I could've killed Jar Jar...I tried to blow him up...and he came all back together I woke up crying. Truly scary world it is when dies Jar Jar does not.

 

I can honestly say with great relief that i've never had a jar jar dream

You know, there are very few fics that inspire me to feel sympathy for Anakin. I really can't stand the little bugger--Sorry.

I will give him the benefit of the doubt though here....for now. I just don't know what i'll do though if he is responsible for any Obi hurt. I'm going to keep reading however--cautiously.

Thanks for the kind comments of FTM also. It's nice to get new comments on an old fic BTW, i should have a post for GH by friday. Can you beat that?

 

I would think so. But for now, i'm going to bed! And you'll at least...tolurate Ani a bit more in c. 5.

Edit: I just figured out how to spell "Tolerate".

 

Uh, i just thought of something very sad....

ANI KILLS HIS OWN BROTHER! WAHHHHH :-(

 

Yes it will be sad indeed...if it happens. Remember this is AU. You don't know what's up my er...sleveless shirt...wait that doesn't sound right. *hits her own head* stupid...well, if you wait like...five minutes, part of chapter 4 will be up.

 

i'll be counting!*looks at watch obbsesivly*