FIC: Rush Hour (JA humor)

Title: Rush Hour
Author: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Summary: 8 yrs pre-TPM (Obi is 17) humor. Obi and Qui get stuck in rush hour traffic on their way to a meeting with the Council.
Feedback: Always in need of that.
Archive: Sure, but please ask me first.
Notes: Thanks to Sio who supplied me with the bunny!!! A sequel will follow.
====================
"Rush Hour"

Obi: Master, cant we just stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat. It won't take long. I am starving.

Qui: Obi-Wan, we cannot be late for this council meeting. And with this rush hour traffic, that may happen. There is no time for us to stop and eat.

Obi: But I am hungry.

Qui: And this is my fault that you didn't want to eat my cooking last night?

Obi: No offense Master, but you cannot cook.

Qui: At least I didn't feed you Master Yoda's mush. That is what I had to deal with when I was your age.

Obi: You were never my age. (Obi pauses for a minute.) Master why is there so much traffic now? The holiday is over, everything should be settling down.

Qui: I have no idea. But if this sorry excuse for a pilot doesn't get out of my way, I will not be held responsible for my actions. For Force sake. MOVE YOU MORON!!!!

Obi: Master, you seem a bit tense. Don't you think, maybe I should drive for a while. I am much calmer in these circumstances.

Qui: Obi-Wan, please don't get me started. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Obi: Actually, you know if I could offer my?MASTER!!! LOOK OUT!!!

(Breaks on, they screech to a halt)

Qui: Stupid fools!!! Does anyone know how to merge correctly on this planet? Come on people, everybody let somebody in? you know, this is not THAT difficult. See how I do it? I let this guy in front of me in, without trying to ram the back of him.

Obi: Very nice Master.

Qui: Look at that?I let him merge in front of me and the guy doesn't even give a wave. I DIDN'T HAVE TO LET YOU IN?you fool.

Obi: Master?how about right there?look, there is no line at the McMoon's diner?please can we stop? Please?

Qui: No padawan. Keep this up and you won't eat for a week. I am having enough problems dealing with these?grrrr?so called intelligent BEINGS who are driving in front of me. WHAT ARE YOU SLAMMING ON YOUR BREAKS FOR? Just move forward?there we go. Okay, now we're moving.

Obi: Master? Why are you yelling at them? You know, they cannot hear you. And does it really do any good?

Qui: Obi-Wan? Shut up. Please.

Obi: Testy today aren't you? You should get in the left lane Master. That one seems to be moving better.

Qui: Yes, but this guy is not gonna let me in. Come on?just let me over?AH!!! Jerk!

Obi: Go ahead now Master, the next guy is gonna let you in.

Qui: Thank you sir!! Okay?now we are in the fast lane. Let's make some progress. Um?buddy if you want to get over in front of me, a turn signal would be helpful. Cause I am not letting you in otherwise.

Obi: You should just let him in. He's forcing his way over?MASTER?back off a bit.

Qui: I have to wonder how these people got a license to pilot. It really is sad.

Obi: Master?Please can we stop? I really am hungry. Listen? Hear that? That grrrr noise? My stomach. It needs food. Soon.

Qui: Obi-Wan, I have already told you. We are NOT stopping. It's bad enough I have to fight this sithly traffic. I don't need you whining about your stomach. Chew on your braid for a while.

Obi: I love you too Master. Chew on my braid. This stupid braid. Makes my head look lopsided. Who's idea was this?

Qui: The padawan braid has been part of the Jedi culture for centuries Obi-Wan. It is a symbol you should wear proudly. I still have mine.

Obi: Yeah, but you don't have to wear it. It just gets in the way. Masters like it, because they can use it as a leash. Keep us in line. How primitive is that?

Qui: It is not a leash, nor is it primitive. It a very important part of your life. NO!!! COME ON PEOPLE, JUST DRIVE!!! What?OH

 

OMG! I am laughing so hard it hurts!

It sounds so familiar too....

Bring on the sequel!

 

LOL. That was so funny. Qui-gon sounds like a New York driver and not a jedi master. It was great.

 

man..you guys are quick...thanks...been a bad day for me...your responses are making it better!!!

 

Yay, another great fic!
Very very funny!

 

was great! I look forward to the next one.

 

TOP!!!

 

Speaking as someone stuck in a two-hour traffic jam this afternoon, I can totally relate to this story! What a laugh it was to read it on a day like today!

aa

 

That is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny! I love it!

 

Thanks Guys!!!

 

You know, the other day I was thinking, "this traffic would try the patience of a Jedi Master".

 

No, Qui-Gon sounds exactly like my husband. My hubby's language tends to be a bit harsher.

Although he will stop for food.

 

I think I saw a little bit of myself in that post!

Great as usual OTK, you never cease to amaze me. Hope there are a 100 more where this one came from!

 

A good driver is a defensive driver. But then again they do say the best defense is a good offense.

 

Thank you guys....I can relate!!

 

Up!!

 

I had to read it again! I love it! It kinda sounds like both of my 'rents. My dad just had surgery and my mom had to drive. Me and my sis were in the back and the whole time was nothing but, "Turn here! Don't let ayone in!" "Turn in that line, baby." "Go faster!"
Or, "Turn in that space."
Talk about backseet driver.