Darksider (JA Fic)

hi everyone! I'm going to try to write another story. Some people who have read a few other stories of mine might of noticed that I couldn't write. Well I think I may have improved a LITTLE, so please read the first chapter here and tell me what you think
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Darksider
By: ObWanKenobeee


Part One

Qui-Gon Jinn brought the green blade down, fast, toward his opponent?s chest. A blue blade came up to block it at the last second.

The two had been locked in battle for the last hour, and Qui-Gon looked like he would be the winner.

Obi-Wan brought the blade to Qui-Gon?s arm, but Qui-Gon reversed it and lightly took his lightsabre across Obi-Wan?s arm, from the shoulder to the wrist, burning a lot of the skin off.

Obi-Wan yelped from the pain and dropped his weapon, he then fell to his knees. The weapon deactivated and rolled across the floor. Qui-Gon forced Obi-Wan against the wall with the lightsabre only inches from his neck.

?Master, please come back!? Obi-Wan pleaded to the man.

?No, I?ve chosen a better path. And I am not you?re master any longer!? Qui-Gon shot back.

?Please, Master,? Obi-Wan whispered.

?I said, I am not your Master any longer. I don?t want nothing to do with these Jedi, I want them all dead!? Qui-Gon said and brought the lightsabre to the boy?s chest and pushed it down with some, but not much pressure. He liked to play with his victims, it would be of no fun to just kill them off first thing.

Obi-Wan whimpered and tried backing up more, but he couldn?t, he was already to the corner of the room.

Qui-Gon then remembered that a class would be coming soon and he pulled the lightsabre away. He slowly deactivated it. He would have to be going so he would not be caught.

?I will not kill you this time,? he said, ?But beware Jedi, you never know when I will be back to finish off all of you sorry fools!?

With that he turned and quickly ran over to the exit, leaving Obi-Wan behind.
***


Obi-Wan was trying to get up. But he couldn?t even sit up due to the pain he was in.

A few seconds after he failed again, a Jedi Master, Nikannah Reklawks, was kneeled next to him. He looked at Obi-Wan and picked him up. He then took off, racing toward the healers.
***

The healers behind the desk were very startled when the Jedi Master came running through their door, with thirteen-year-old Kenobi in his arms.

?Get Naw-Ibo in here quick! This boy needs a healer, now!? Nikannah shouted to the woman behind the desk. Naw-Ibo was a healer and a good friend of Nikannah?s.

?Yes Sir!? The healer said, and quickly paged Healer Naw-Ibo with Kenobi?s condition.

Soon a man in a white tunic came through the doors quickly, with a stretcher in tow.

They put Obi-Wan on it and took him through the two swinging gray doors that lead back to the emergency area.

Nikannah didn?t know Obi-Wan very well, but he had saw him a few times. He knew the boy was smart and would someday become a great Jedi Knight. He also knew the boy had a great Master? before he turned.

The Jedi Master walked over to the bench and sat down. He took out his comlink and called the secretary for the Council.

?I need to see the Council, it?s an emergency,? Nikannah said into the device.

?I?m sorry Sir, but they are busy right now with a meeting,? The secretary came back.

?When is the next opening?? the Master asked urgently.

?They should be done in about fifteen minutes, but then they got another? did you say it was an emergency??

?Yes! This needs to be taken care of now,? He said.

?Okay, be up here in about fifteen minutes, they should be done by then,? she said then cut the link off.

Master Reklawks then walked of to change out of his slightly blood stained tunic.
***

Twenty minutes later Nikannah stood in the center of the Council Room giving a report of what happened.

"No, I do not know who done it," Nikannah said to the Council.

"We'll have someone sent down now to talk to Kenobi," Mace said, "Thank you for this news, Master Reklawks."

Ni

 

Qui-gon in the darkside! Nooooooo!
OK, humor aside. Excellent start! Can't wait to see what happens next!

 

Master Jinn mingling in the darkside. Neat.

 

Ooh, I like your style. Please continue.

 

Thanks for the relplies (yes, I have been sitting here just waiting for them, I like replies, and I got 3 in almost less than 5 minutes, that's the most I've ever had in that amount of time) I'm just posting this to say that the next part should be up tomorrow or day after tomorrow. I still have to write the next part...

 

Great story....I'd like some more Qui-Gon, please. Extra Dark.

 

you caught me...another story to keep up with... Keep it goin' huh? It's great!

 

I'll write finish writing another post here in a while, gotta finish some Social Studies homework first.

 

Well? Now what? obeousley there is more to the story, like why did Qui -Gon turn to the dark side and why would he be killing jedi and why would he atack Obi-Wan and.,,,

 

Okay, like I said, here's the next part . I know I said I would have it up earlier, but the homework took longer than I expected. This one also is sorta bad, I couldn't really think of what to write today.
***
Part Two

Former Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn walked along through the dark alleyway, just returning from the local cantina. He was now heading toward his new home, in an old, empty, dilapidated building a few miles away.

He was thinking about how to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi, his old apprentice. He hated that boy very much. After he killed him, he would get rid of a few others he hated for personal reasons and then the rest of them Jedi. And he was not going to let one of them other dark Jedi to defeat the Jedi before him, he would show them who was the best.


Suddenly a young boy came out of the shadows and had looked at him for a few seconds, bringing him out of his thinking. Qui-Gon looked back at the boy. No parents were to be seen anywhere. Qui-Gon smiled to himself, he needed a new apprentice...

"Excuse me sir," the boy, who looked to be about nine, said, "could you help me?"

Qui-Gon put his hands on the child's temples and through the Force, knocked him unconscious. He sunk to the ground below, knocking his head hard on the concrete. Jinn then bent down and lifted the unconscious boy into his arms and hurried home with his new apprentice.
***

Ten-year old Euhanod Reniersh woke up with a headache, on a cold surface in a dark room. He rubbed his head, trying to reduce some of the pain. He was also was afraid, he had no idea where he was, well other than on the floor.

He then heard a creaking noise, as if an old door was opening, but he could see no one, he couldn?t even see his own hand in front of him.

"Hello there," a man's voice said from somewhere in the dark shadows of the room.

"Who are you?" the boy asked.

"My name is Qui-Gon Jinn," he answered, "And you are my new apprentice."

Qui-Gon turned on the lights, causing the boy to blink.

"What?? The boy was very confused.

?I said you?re my apprentice,? Qui-Gon repeated, walking closer to the boy.

?No I?m not, I don?t even know who you are,? the boy said, deciding that he shouldn?t have said that after Qui-Gon walked closer to him.

Qui-Gon grabbed his neck and slammed his head against the wall, hard, making a loud thud that echoed throughout the room upon impact. ?You ARE my apprentice now, you will learn the dark ways of the Force with me, and you will do anything I tell you to,? Qui-Gon said, becoming angry that the boy was not listening to him.

?Y? Yes Sir,? he replied in a scared and hurt voice.

Qui-Gon smiled, then stormed out of the room, leaving Euhanod there. He had to go find some training tools and clothing.

 

Qui-gon is replacing Obi-wan with that boy. He is definitely insane Obi-wan is irrepalceable.

 

Insane alright. I bet the boy isn't even force-sensitive.

 

UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I'll post soon, I'll explain why I haven't yet later . I have to get off here quick is why I can't wxplain now.

 

This is awsum.

 

Okay, I'll try to get the next part up soon. I installed Linux 7.1 on my computer and I can't get the modem to work on it, if anyone knows how, could you please help me? That's the main reason that I don't have it up yet. And school's started (I'm only in 6th grade if you're wondering,) I'm going to a new school, and I don't know anyone there and I'm still getting used to it. I've also been getting pretty much homework (well, it's really a project that's taking a while, other than the project there hasn't been that much homework,) but I've been trying to get a part written on paper in study hall (with a Sith as the monitor)and I've gotten only a few paragraphs. Okay, that's all . I'll try to get it up A.S.A.P though. Sorry for making you wait so long.

 

I wish I could have written this well when I was in the 6th grade.

Fascinating premise! I'm also interested in what happened before to make Qui-Gon turn, and what's going to happen next!

Good luck on posting again soon!

 

Since I'm not getting very much up here, you guys can add on to this, start a add on story or whatever . I might be able to post some time in about a week, if I find my bacckup (or backup of backup, I have 1 of those somewhere...) copy of the story I might be able to post sometime, but now now, soo PLEASE add on if you want to

 

Awww! I want you to write it! *pouts* Amidolee won't write on hers and-and oh, forget it!

 

I want you to write it as well.

 

OKay, since you guys want me to, I'll write . I should have something done by tomorrow night. I'm sorry for making you wait, I know how it is and How it is sometimes annoying when someone doesn't post, but I still haven't got my computer working (if anyone knows anything about Linux 7.1, PLEASE e-mial me at ObWanKenobeee@aol.com I'm having a LOT of trouble with it) But a post SHOULD be up by tomorrow. Again, sorry about the wait.

 

You're going to finish. Yippee!!!!!!!

 

New post should be by 8:30 tonight, gotta type it up in a while...

 

Okay, I know it is a little late, sorry again . Also I'm in the Eastern Time Zone so right now it's around 9:20. Finally got a post, I wrote most of it at school during study hall (I wasn't supposed to be, was supposed to be reading out of a text book, but I did it where whe couldn't see ) and I just finished writing this now; and I'm sure no one really cares . And I had no spell check, so PLEASE ignore my spelling errors .OKay, finally heres the post.
***
Qui-Gon Jinn just walked out of the door when it hit him; he never even tested the boy's midi-chlorian count. Qui-Gon sighed and turned around. One thing he hated now was that he had to do all of the work himself.
***

Obi-Wan Kenobi's eyes fluttered open just as Naw-Ibo entered the sterile white room.

"Hello there, Obi-Wan," Naw-Ibo greeted his patient, "How do you feel?"

"Fine," Obi-Wan said lying, he really wanted to leave the place.

"Obi-Wan, don't lie to me," Naw-Ibo said sensing he was lying, "I know you want to leave, but we need to help you. And you're not leaving for another few days at least."

"My head hurts," Obi-Wan stated.

The Jedi Healer walked over to his patient and gently lifted his head. He looked for a few seconds when he found the problem.

"You've got a pretty nasty bruise back there. Where'd it come from?" The healer asked curiously.

"I fell and hit it," Obi-Wan swallowed, "When Qui-Gon force pushed me."

The healer nodded and gently laid the boy's head back onto the white hospital pillow (like the hard ones that you always get when you go there.)

"Let me find that bacta gel I just had," the healer said and started fishing around in his pocket, finally he found it, "Ahhh, there it is."

Naw-Ibo held the tube up and then Obi-Wan lifted his head. The healer squeezed some gel on his finger and began applying it to the back of Obi-Wan's head.

"There you go," Naw-Ibo said, then he looked at the boy again, "Well, I don't see what harm would come if we let you get out of here today."

Obi-Wan's eyes suddenly brightened.

"You're supposed to go to Knight Tadvin's quarters to stay for right now," Naw-Ibo said and helped Obi-Wan out of the bed, "Here's a new set of clothes," he handed them to Obi-Wan, "I don't think you want to walk through the Temple in that flowered paper gown."

Obi-Wan looked down and saw he was still in the infirmatory's gown and blushed a little when he realised he almost walked though the Temple in it. He grabbed the clothes and headed toward the small 'fresher to change.
***





Okay, there it is

 

Sorry the post was so short, I didn't have much to write for that part.