Everything That Can Go Wrong II- Adventure on Andarria (Obi (ego) torture)-COMPLETE11/24

Yup, it's finally here. The much anticipated ( ) (I hope) sequel to Everything That Can Go Wrong. The first chap's not too funny but the rest will be, I promise! Enjoy!


Everything That Can Go Wrong: Book II
Adventure on Andarria



Murphy's Law: Everything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong.
Summary: Young Obi goes on a mission where things just do not seem to go right.
Genre: Humor
Era: JA- Obi's 15
Disclaimer: You-know-who (SW characters) do not belong to you-know-whom (yours truly) who, in turn, is not making any you-know-what (ka-CHING! $$$$) off this fic- so please don't sue.

Jedi Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi stared out the viewscreen of the transport ship, the Spiral Stair. He and his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, were on their way to the Middle Rim planet Andarria for their next mission. The assignment, or so the Jedi Council had aqssured them, would be a relatively simple one. All they had to do was moderate a trade agreement between the Andarrian King and the Traders' Guild. The Traders' Guild was a powerful organisation on Andarria, and had recently run into disputes with the government over taxation of goods.

All this Obi-Wan had learned in the mission briefing. It did not strike him as being a particularly interesting or challenging mission. Nevertheless, it was very good to get away from the Jedi Temple for a while. Two weeks ago, he had run into a few problems, and had wound up right back at the healers' ward. After avoiding any healers and other particularly unpleasant experiences, it had not been overly enjoyable to go back. Worst of all was the way in which he had wound up there. A large mutant fungus which owed its very existence to none other than Obi-Wan had tried to strangle him. Not only had he almost died in that incident, he had also ended up being the laughingstock of the whole Temple, and the hapless victim of countless Padawan jokes.

Struggling not to cringe, he continued staring impassively out of the viewscreen. Yes, it felt very good indeed to be off Coruscant for a bit. He was also looking forward to sampling the Andarrian cooking. Andarria was famous for its fine cuisine. Obi-Wan could definitely use some of that now- the food on the transport ship was a nightmare. His stomach rumbled. At least he could look forward to getting a good meal on Andarria. The reigning monarch, King Cassan, was known for setting the best dinner table in the whole Middle and Outer Rims.

A ripple in the Force told him of Qui-Gon's approach as he walked onto the bridge. He walked up behind his Padawan and stood beside him. For a moment neither spoke.

"We're very close to Andarria now, Padawan," Qui-Gon said at length, breaking the silence. Obi-Wan nodded.

"I'm looking forward to starting," he added truthfully. Was it just his imagination, or was that a hint of a smile on the elder Jedi's face?

"I know you are," Qui-Gon continued. "But be patient and remember to focus. Even on a simple mission, one must always be careful."

"I know." It was true, too. Obi-Wan didn't say anything then, but he had high hopes of staying out of trouble on this mission. He definitely planned to be careful and avoid all those nasty scenarios which everyone always associated with him.

But isn't that what you always say? a little voice in the back of his head seemed to whisper.

 

It finally started. I don't like the sound of that little nagging voice in the back of Obi's mind assuring him that he is soon going to revert back to being a target.

Aunecah

 

Ah, the sequel...

Mentioning cuisine, me thinks I smell a food related incident for our dear Obi.

 

Oh, man!

No matter how hard he tries, Obi just can't seem to get free of those near-death situations, can he?

Looking forward to seeing what (ego) torture you've got in store for our...oh, all right I'll just say it...

Poor Obi!

 

But isn't that what you always say? a little voice in the back of his head seemed to whisper

Yup! and yet it never goes that way huh?

Till Later~
Siri

 

Aunecah: No, lol, you shouldn't.
JS: Ha! Ten points to JS. This is gonna be funny, I promise.
Astro: Nope, he certainly can't. But that's what makes him our Obi, right?
Siri: Lol. It doesn't indeed.

OK short post but I think it's a pretty cute post. Enjoy!




Several hours later, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had landed on Andarria and were headed toward the palace of King Cassan. The capitol city, Andarin, was filled with exciting sounds and sights, not to mention the smells which wafted up from restaurants and open air cafes and made Obi-Wan feel almost faint with hunger. He had to force himself not to think about that. It wasn't an easy proposition, considering the fact that he had had nothing more than lousy transport food to eat in several days. Just a little bit more, he thought as he and Qui-Gon turned onto an elegant street lined with wealthy mansions. Just a little bit more. Then I'm sure there'll be something good to eat at the palace. After all, everyone always says that Andarria is the best planet in this part of the galaxy for cuisine.

So he tried to concentrate instead on the gleaming skyscrapers and lavishly extravegant homes. Merchants and pedestrians loitered on the streets, talking and chattering happily. One woman led a pair of two very strange looking creatures on leashes. Obi-Wan paused to look at them. The animals were small, with pointed snouts and plumed curly tails. No sooner had he stopped to watch them then one of the two, then the other, approached him. Tentatively, the creature sniffed his hand. It's owner had her back turned and was arguing with a merchant over the cost of a pearl necklace. The Padawan looked up to see that he had already nearly lost Qui-Gon in the crowd, but he did not want to make any sudden moves and startle the two animals clustered around him.

It didn't help though. All Obi-Wan had done was attempt to back away slowly when suddenly the creature emitted a low, vicious growl and clamped down on the young Jedi's hand. He yelped in pain and tried to somehow shake his attacker off. Unfortunately, that only caused the other little animal to extend its claws and scratch at his leg. Hearing this ruckus, the owner turned, an angry expression on her face.

"Snowball, Darling," she said, "heel!" The two creatures let go of Obi-Wan and returned to the woman, still hissing and growling. Uh oh, he thought. She does not look happy.

"I- I'm sorry," he stammered ridiculously. "I stopped to look at your- pets- because I thought they were cute and....."

"Well, watch what you do next time, will you, kid? They're very sensitive little darlings." With that, she picked up the two animals in her arms, kissed each one on its furry head and walked off angrily.

Sighing, Obi-Wan wiped the blood off his hand onto his robe and attempted to locate Qui-Gon. This mission was officially not off to a good start.

 

and so it all starts....

Till Later~
Siri

 

<<"Well, watch what you do next time, will you, kid? They're very sensitive little darlings.">>

Sensitive little darlings!!?? [face_shocked]

Those creatures are about as sensitive as a pack of wolves surrounding a baby lamb!!

Great post, though, obi-wannabe!

 

Siri and Astro: thanks. It's good to have you guys reading.

"What happened, Padawan?" he heard his Master ask from behind him. Startled, he turned around to face the older Jedi.

"Nothing. I had a bit of a run-in with some fierce little furry... things. It's nothing I can't handle."

"You're hurt," Qui-Gon said, indicating his Apprentice's bleeding hand.

"They had sharp teeth. I'll be fine, the bleeding's stopping already. Let's just get going."

The Jedi Master gave his Padawan a long, thoughtful stare before nodding.

"All right. We'll continue on our way to King Cassan's palace but as soon as we arrive, you're going to get treatment for that, understood?"

Obi-Wan gulped. Only he was able to receive an injury before the mission even officially started.

"Yes, Master," he said politely. Now he had something else to look forward to.

"Can you desribe the creature that gave you that injury?"

"There were two of them, and they were somebody's pets. Small, with very long furry tails and pointed snouts."

"Andarrian lowland dogs. They're the favored housepet around here- every bit as good as a lapdog as they are as guard dogs. You'll know in future not to tangle with them." Was that just a hint of a smile on his Master's face? Obi-Wan hoped not. Qui-Gon's smiling in these sorts of situations usually meant bad news for him.

"I expect King Cassan himself will keep some of those dogs. Be very careful around them."

It was a warning the young Padawan did not really need. He had already figured as much.



"Your Highness, I am Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is my Padawan Learner, Obi-Wan Kenobi,"Qui-Gon said, bowing respectfully to the Andarrian king. Obi-Wan did the same.

The monarch's broad face broke into a smile.

"It is such a relief to see that the Jedi aid we requested has arrived. The people have been growing exceedingly tense. I am beginning to fear the worst."

"Then you may rest assured, your Majesty, that we will see to it that all will go well. However, on the way here, my Padawan had a bit of a run-in with one of your lowland dogs. He did not know what they were, and received some scratches that may require medical attention."

Obi-Wan stared down at the floor. This was not the way to make a good first impression. Now King Cassan would be sure to see him as an idiot and distrust him.

He was surprised to see the King smiling sympathetically at him.

"Come closer, and let me see what happened."

At a nod from Qui-Gon, the youth stepped forward towards the throne. King Cassan took a look at his wounded hand before finally speaking.

"You got off very easy. The dog that attacked you must have been in a good mood." He pushed back the sleeve of his royal robe, revealing some ugly scars and bite marks lining his right hand.

"My beloved grandmother was always very fond of those lowland dogs. I nearly lost an arm to one of them when I was visiting her estate as a boy. Since then, I could never abide the little brutes, though my wife and daughters think them delightful."

His words, though well intentioned, were not overly comforting to Obi-Wan.

"Ahh, well," the King said with a chuckle, "you are very lucky, my young friend. You will require nothing more than a shot to insure that you do not contract anything untoward from the bite, and then I will introduce you and your Master to my Queen, Reyna, and our dear daughters, Fianna and Payge."

 

It's so weird how while reading this I keep getting flashbacks. That first part when Obi-Wan was thinking about being the butt of jokes by the other Padawans. I've been there done that, but really hasn't everyone? Then the little doggies attack and I get mental image of having a run-in with my uncle's dog. Of course that dog was not little. Looked look a horse from my view point! Oh well If I can get through all that I'm sure Obi-Wan can too!

Felicia Z.

 

A shot! Haha, we know just how much Obi luvs those!!!

Till Later~
Siri

 

Uh-oh!!!

Obi and a couple of princesses? I anticipate major embarassment for our Obi with that combination!

 

*grabs 10 points from o-w*

Thankee. Goes well with my Poor Obi/Poor Qui T-shirt.

Geez, what the heck were the constellations smoking to put such a blight on Obi? Those dogs..."sensitive little darlings"?

[face_eyebrow_raised]

Uh-huh.
Good post.

 

Felicia: OOh, nice to have you reading. And yeah, I didn't make much up. Most of it is inspired by stuff in real life.
Siri: Yup. Poor Obi!
Astro: Yeah.... Naturally.
JS: Obi's knack for getting in trouble again! Tee hee.


Obi-Wan did not like getting shots. He never had and he never would. It was particularly unpleasant when the medic could not find an appropriate vein, or dosage of the drug, and had to attempt administering the injection several times. The young Padawan had sat there, as tightly shielded from his Master as he could be, and tried to remain stoic as the very incompetent healer attempted to make Swiss* cheese out of his right arm. All the while he had longed to jump up and run away, or at least shout out, is this really necessary?

He hadn't, however. Fortunately, Obi-Wan had somehow managed to survive until the medic had finished with him. It had, at least, reaffirmed his vow to be careful on this mission, and not go looking for any trouble. But he did not have to look for trouble. He never did. It always seemed to find him, with or without- and usually without- his approval.

At least, as recompense for his suffering, he had gotten sympathetic looks from both Qui-Gon and King Cassan. And at last, he had been able to go to the guest quarters he and his Master were to inhabit during their stay on Andarria. He entered the suite on an upper chamber of the palace- and gasped quietly. Never before had he seen such a luxurious room. The walls were gleaming blue-white, like new snow, and the furniture was at once plush and warm and elegant. Obi-Wan had seen luxury before, but nothing could compare to this.

Realizing that he was gaping like a four year old, he abruptly closed his mouth, but not before the King noticed and smiled at him.

"It's quite nice, isn't it? It wasn't always like this. The palace used to be more, shall we say, archaic? Traditional? Than it is now. My wife Reyna insisted on a little redecoration. Enjoy your stay, both of you. Dinner is to be served in an hour."

He turned, still smiling, and walked quickly down the hall. Obi-Wan took another look around the awe inspiring suite.

"Padawan," Qui-Gon said, "as a Jedi, you know you're going to see the most elite of galactic society as well as the most downtrodder. Young as you are, uou've already had glimpses of both extremes."

"Not this kind of extreme," Obi-Wan replied honestly. "Everything here is just so.... lavish. I wouldn't say its beautiful, exactly. More like extravegant. These people have, well, credits to burn."

The Jedi Master nodded.

"Andarria has always been one of the wealthiest worlds in this sector, and they have no qualms about showing it. So yes, you are correct. But come, Padawan. You must be hungry. I suggest we prepare for dinner quickly, or else the royal family may take offense."

As always, dinner sounded like a great idea. So why did Obi-Wan have such a bad feeling about this?

 

So why did Obi-Wan have such a bad feeling about this?

Cause he knows he's cursed.

Ouch to Obi for doctors not finding the vein. Had that happen to me one too many times. Hurts like crazy.

I can't wait to see the food incident, o-w.

 

Indeed that vein is always hard to find for a doctor isnt it?

A bad feeling about dinner.... cant wait for that!!

Till Later~
Siri

 

"So why did Obi-Wan have such a bad feeling about this?"



He always does, and he's always right!

Great work, obi-wannabe!

 

Been working on the next chap during school today..... It's gonna be great I promise! Meanwhile, up!^^^^

 

JS: Hee hee. Poor Obi, as always. And OW! Poor you, with all your arm owies of various natures.
Siri: Hey I never said these Andarrian doctors are the brightest bulbs in the hardware store did I?
Astro: Thanks.

OK guys I want to introduce you to Fianna and Payge the two Andarrian princesses.



"Welcome, welcome," King Cassan said as the two Jedi entered the dining hall. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed respectfully as the short monarch stood and hastened over to them. He stood by his two guests with a gleeful grin on his face, reminding Obi-Wan of an overexuberant puppy.

"Come, friends," he added, "you two must be presented to my wife and daughters."

In actual fact Obi-Wan was keener on eating right now than on being formally presented to anyone, but he obviously kept that thought to himself. He looked around as he and Qui-Gon were led towards the head table. The hall was filled with various articles of expensive crystal and precious metals, the walls and floor were made from gleaming chiseled marble. A bright fire burned in the fireplace, even though its function was purely ceremonial as the room was lit and heated electronically. The whole room, like the rest of the palace, was a display of unadulterated splendor.

"Master Jinn, Apprentice Kenobi, meet my wife, Reyna."

The Queen nodded gracefully, and clasped Qui-Gon's hand, then Obi-Wan's. She was a slender woman with elaborately done up reddish blond hair. She was dressed in an elegant black gown and when she stood, she was a head taller than her husband. Her face and features were beautiful, but there was a coolness to her that made Obi-Wan feel a trifle uncomfortable.

"It's always a pleasure to meet a Jedi," she drawled in a honey sweet voice. Without warning, she turned to Obi-Wan. "Come, child. You must greet my daughters." Sweeping an arm around the bristling Padawan's shoulders, she steered him towards the two young girls sitting at the other end of the table.

One of the girls looked only to be about nine or ten years old. She had reddish hair and clutched a small doll in her pudgy hands. A look of fierce concentration hovered about her face as she twisted her doll's hair around impossibly. Her sister, however, looked about sixteen. Her hair was strawberry blonde like her mother's, though her eyes were dark. A small Andarrian mountain dog with a gleaming coat and bared fangs sat at her feet. The Princess had a bored, sulky expression on her thin face, and when Obi-Wan looked down at her hands, he saw that she held a live, wriggling insect. Working very quietly and unobtrusively, she lifted her sister's hair and placed the insect on the other girl's neck. Seeing the young Jedi's surprised and disapproving look, she grinned at him smugly.

"This," the Queen said, putting her hand on the elder sister's shoulder, "is Fianna." Fianna immediately smiled angelically. It was a skill that had come with much practice.

"And this little darling-"

But Queen Reyna's words were cut off as the little girl screamed. Both parents rushed to tend the shrieking, thrashing child, whose hands had gone up to the back of her neck. It took only a moment for her father to locate the insect, remove it and stomp on it with his boot. He picked up his daughter, and tried to soothe her.

"There, there, my dear," King Cassan coddled her. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon exchanged a look.

"Payge, my dear," a wide-eyed Queen was asking, "how in stars did that thing get into the collar of your new dress?"

Payge didn't know. Fianna, however, stepped in to answer.

"I saw who did it," she announced. "It was Obi-Wan."

 

Okay, I'm not liking Fianna much.

WTH?!

Poor Obi!!!! He has to deal with that?!

I hate to say it, o-w, but why not just kill him and end his perpetual torture? With that princess near him, it'd be a blessing.

 

I must be sadistic. I laughed out loud when Fianna blamed Obi-Wan! I blame Obi-Wan in a way. He knew she had done it but He should know not to let her know, he knows...ya know? She one upped him because of that. That was a good part and I really got a kick out of it!

 

CRIKEE!

always a pleasure to meet a Jedi

Whew...for some reason that line gave me the chills...

"It was Obi-Wan."

YOU LOW LIFE STUCK UP EVIL LITTLE BRAT!

C'MERE...

::starts after ofender with possesed gleam in eye::

 

JS: You're SUPPOSED to hate Fianna! I hate her too.... But I also love her... Love to hate her... Not to mention she's a pleasure to write.... And no killing Obi would be far too easy. I'm just getting started!
Felicia: "I blame Obi-Wan in a way. He knew she had done it but He should know not to let her know, he knows...ya know? She one upped him because of that. That was a good part and I really got a kick out of it!" Ow my head's spinning.... Oh now I get it. Anyway thanks!
Saber: Isn't Fianna such a sweetheart? *sarcasm sarcasm*


The young Jedi's eyes went wide in surprise and anger.

"No I didn't!" he protested. "I didn't do anything, you know that perfectly well...."

He stopped midsentence as Qui-Gon put a firm hand on his shoulder. The entire royal family stared at him. Lowering his eyes, he struggled to release his frrustration. Why did everything always have to happen to him?

//Padawan, you should really know by now to at least make an effort to avoid trouble,// Qui-Gon said through their bond, as if in answer to the boy's thoughts. He knew his Master meant well, but still, it was the last thing Obi-Wan needed to hear right now.

//I do make an effort to avoid trouble,// he thought back. //It's just that trouble never fails to find me, no matter what I do.//

But he wasn't sure if his Master ever heard the excuse. Qui-Gon was too busy smoothing the situation over.

"I believe, your Highness, that you must be mistaken. My Padawan wouldn't do this."

"I'm sure you think so," Fianna replied, sounding completely earnest. Anyone would have believed her- which was the whole problem. The girl was clearly a practiced liar. Just how badly, Obi-Wan wondered, could she and her nasty pranks spoil this mission? Quite badly, he thought.

"But I know what I saw. I saw him do it."

"I didn't do it," Obi-Wan insisted, looking to Qui-Gon for help.

"I don't doubt your intentions," the Jedi Master said firmly, "but I have to say, again, that you must be mistaken. I'm sure that no one wants to see any more unpleasantness over your sister's accident. Agreed?"

His firm tone of voice made even the bratty princess back down. Instead of pursuing the matter she smiled sweetly, the sincerity and seeming innocence of it all making Obi-Wan almost quake inside. Dealing with this... girl... who apparently had taken an instant dislike to him promised to be a serious challenge. The very fact that she knew when to give up on something was proof positive of her slyness. Not only that, she was also vicious. The Jedi Padawan was sorely tempted to let everyone know that it was she, Fianna, who had played that trick on her sister... but he knew it would do no good.

"I see. In which case, I am so sorry." She turned to Obi-Wan and extended a slender white hand.

"Friends?" she asked, smiling until he thought her face would crack. Despite her sweet expression, he could detect a malicious gleam in her eye. He hesitated an instant before accepting the offered hand, during which time a stormy, angry expression crossed the Princess' face. Her dog raised its head and growled. Meekly he shook hands with her, though he felt like a fool.

//That's better, Padawan. Try to keep it that way.//

//Master, I didn't ask her to blame me for something that she did.//

//I know that. Just be careful to avoid any more trouble, if at all possible.//

Obi-Wan sighed as Fianna let drop his hand and raised her head haughtily.

"Come, children," the Queen said, putting one arm on her daughter's shoulder and the other on Obi-Wan's, "don't fight anymore."

Why's everyone making this seem like this really is my fault?

"At least it's time for dinner." Queen Reyna's smiling face seemed more a herald of trouble than joy.

 

Oh yeah, we're getting to the food incident!

I eagerly await for that.

Poor Obi. I don't need to say that Obi's gonna get more stunts from Fianna.

 

Obi-Wan you gotta stop being the victim and take charge of the situation! Bring to light what that spoiled little brat really is deep down in her heart and make the others believe! can I get an Amen?

::sits there quietly for a split second:: sorry I got caught up in the moment.