For My Soul is Touched and I am Hollow (JA AU Obi/Qui/ now Xan) COMPLETE 5/26/04

I've been debating whether to post this, but finally decided to do it, since it's robbing me of sanity. Not sure where it'll take me, and if it has a plot, I'll be the first to deny it, but here goes.

Title: For My Soul is Touched and I am Hollow

Rating: PG-13

Archive: Ask, and ye shall receive

Time: This follows JA somewhat up to #6, the rest is...different.

Summary: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have problems adjusting after Melida/Daan.

Disclaimer: There once was a man named George,
Who created Star Wars upon us to gorge.
He copyrighted it tight,
But try as I might,
I ain't making any money off this, so don't sue, all right?

***********************************

PROLOGUE

The cool breeze wafting through the Temple halls did much to subdue the heated color in his cheeks after leaving the stifling atmosphere of the Council Chambers. He lengthened his strides, gaze on the marble floor, trying to keep up with his Master's hurried steps. They were finally on their way.

Past the gardens, past the library, past the initiates classrooms they went, his Master speaking not a word, his mental shields tight. He fell back to puzzling over this, as he had for the past few days. Puzzling over this reticence in Qui-Gon.

His mind has been elsewhere. Maybe it's the mission. Ever since he had that talk with the troll, he's been shielding more and more. At least this assignment on Telos will be pretty routine.

They were almost to the landing platform when his musings were interrupted by a boyish "Umph!"and a small crash. Looking up, he saw Qui-Gon drop to his knees beside a Crèche child.

"Sorry, Master," the boy mumbled, his chubby cheeks flaming. Embarrassment rolled off him in strong waves.

"That's all right, little one," Qui-Gon said gently. "I'm the one who wasn't looking. Are you all right?"


The boy nodded, eyes on the floor, and began to pick up the scattered balls that he'd been carrying. Confetti Orbs, he recalled nostalgically, one of his favorite toys when he'd been little. He had spent hours manipulating the multicolored grains of sand with the Force, making pictures inside the crystalline ball.

"Here," Qui-Gon said, helping the child gather the toys.

The boy looked up into Qui-Gon's face. He was 3, 4 at most, with a crown of soft ginger hair and large blue-gray eyes. "Thank you, Master," the boy said, flashing a gap-toothed grin.

He's a rather beautiful, he mused absently.


Qui-Gon put the last of the Orbs into the boy's arms, then carefully helped him to his feet. "I'll be more careful next time," he said. The boy beamed, his grin growing wider. The Master smiled back, ruffling the cap of ginger hair.

His eyes narrowed. What's this? Qui-Gon hadn't been that relaxed around him for some time. Lately it had all been impersonal, almost brusque remarks. Absentmindedness. Silence.

Distance.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, do catch up!"the voice of the Crèche Master called out, breaking the silence of the moment.

Qui-Gon gave the boy, Kenobi, a gentle push forward. "Go on, now," he said.

Kenobi grinned again, and managed to give a shallow bow to the Master, keeping the Orbs from tumbling out of his arms. "Yes, sir." He turned and began to walk away.

Then it happened.

His eyes widened as he felt a ripple of shock run through him. A pulsing silver-blue aura enveloped the forms of Master and child. The glow was beautiful, the vibrations resonating through his bones. As Kenobi walked farther away, the aura unraveled into a thin ribbon, connecting the two. As the distance increased, the vibrations decreased, but the ribbon grew longer, keeping them linked.

What is that? he thought, stunned. Old legends ran through his head. It can't be, it's not--

He blinked then, and the aura vanished as if it had never been. No one had noticed. Qui-Gon was staring after Kenobi, a reminiscent smile on his lips. The Crèche Master seemed oblivious to

 

Looks good....I wanna know what's going on so keep it comming!!

 

I love it allready Padawan! And you included Xani! We demand more!

 

Hey this looks awesome! I wanna see more! Keep it up JS!

 

Arwen_Jade_Kenobi: Thanks, I hope I don't disappoint.

Master: And you included Xani

*glares at Master*

Let's not get started on that. He's part of the reason I'm insane right now.

Wild_Huntress: Thanks! I'll try not to disappoint.

 

When I first saw the title I thought of that old Star Trek episode called For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky.

Looks great, Suzuran. The confetti balls is a cool idea. Did you make that up?

 

Cascadia: Star Trek? What's that?

Yes, I made up the Confetti Orbs. I am insane.



Thanks for reading.

 

Sounds promising.

 

hmmm I wonder what that connection could be. Looks Great!!

 

Definitely a promising beginning! I hope there'll be more soon!

Nicky

 

continue please, a early connection with obi, i want more. 7

 

Incredible... not only do u show the connection between Lunkhead and the Trickster, but u also have got the connection between Lunkhead and the Cursed One!

Magnificent! U had better continue this!

~Dot

 

This part has class:

His eyes widened as he felt a ripple of shock run through him. A pulsing silver-blue aura enveloped the forms of Master and child. The glow was beautiful, the vibrations resonating through his bones. As Kenobi walked farther away, the aura unraveled into a thin ribbon, connecting the two. As the distance increased, the vibrations decreased, but the ribbon grew longer, keeping them linked.

I can visualise that very well through the Force. Excellent crafting and some very realistic dialogue.

I hope this continues and May the Force be with you.

 

* You will make Xan a central part of this fic! * Did the old Jedi mind trick work Padawan?

 

Wonderful start, Suzuran! I'm really looking forward to reading this. You have such talent, I wish I had half of it.

 

Renton Kenobi: Thank you.

maramijade: It'll be a while before that's explained. Thanks for reading.

Nicky: Thanks, and yes, there's more.

DOT: not only do u show the connection between Lunkhead and the Trickster, but u also have got the connection between Lunkhead and the Cursed One!

Lunkhead and Trickster? That's classic.

NikSteevi: I can visualise that very well through the Force. Excellent crafting and some very realistic dialogue.

You don't know how much that means to me. I struggled to write that part specifically, and I wasn't completely satisfied with it. Thank you.

Master: Did the old Jedi mind trick work Padawan?

*watches mind whammie fly overhead*


**crickets chirp**

Wha-- you were saying something, Master?

Cicci: Thanks. And don't sell yourself short.

Post is being finalized right now, so it's coming very soon! Thanks, all.

 

Cooool. This definitely has potential to be an epic - but, of course, you say it has no plot. Plotless or no, I can't wait to see what happens next.

*sighs* If envy weren't a deadly sin, I would be so jealous of all you wonderful people who write so brilliantly!

 

Blast! I'm addicted and you've only posted once.

*agrees that Xani should show up*

 

kikeriki: This definitely has potential to be an epic - but, of course, you say it has no plot.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Thanks for reading.

Jedi_Knight_Hunter: Thanks for reading! Addicted? Dear me!

*agrees that Xani should show up*

My, my, my Master has begun to turn many to the Xani side of the Force. He's in the story, never fear. Just not yet.

And now, the post!

*************************

Chapter I

The Temple. Home, haven and light to a Jedi. Mysticism cloaked in serenity. As Obi-Wan walked through the familiar halls behind Qui-Gon, he struggled to wrap that serenity around him. He desperately needed it for this meeting.

What if they don't take me back? Qui-Gon doesn't seem to want me. No Master likes another's leavings. Will it be Agri-Corps...or nothing?

No, don't be so pessimistic, Kenobi. It'll be fine.

How can I be sure of that? I'm a failure as a Padawan.

You wouldn't be the first one.

The halls were deserted, their footsteps hollow echoes resonating in the cavernous spaces, for which Obi-Wan was grateful. The thought of facing other Jedi in such disgrace was terrifying.

All too soon, they were in the Council Chambers. As he bowed, he felt a smidgen of hope. Perhaps this would all turn out all right.

As he straightened, his eyes went to Mace Windu. The man's intense dark gaze stripped him of any composure he'd had.

"Thank you for coming," he said. "What do you have to say for yourself, Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

For a moment, he was dumbstruck. No small talk, no preliminaries. Straight to the matter.

Not good.

What can I say?

He remembered Yoda's advice, heard so many times as a child: Speak from the heart, always you should.

He did just that. "My actions were wrong. I interfered with the fate of a planet, defied and broke my Master's trust. I thought it was right at the time. I regret it so much--"

Depa Billaba interrupted. "You can't expect this to be forgotten with an apology, do you Obi-Wan, no matter how sincere?"

He bit his lip, his heart sinking. Master Billaba continued. "You've broken not only Qui-Gon's trust, but that of the Council, the Masters, Knights, and Padawans. We know you're very remorseful, but it doesn't excuse your actions."

"You do understand this, don't you?" Eeth Koth asked quietly.

Tears stung his eyes and he blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. Lowering his head, Obi-Wan nodded. He was finished. His dreams were over.

Worthless.

Yoda spoke then, his eyes filled with infinite sorrow. "Changed, you have. Changed has Qui-Gon, changed have we."

"You see right now the error, Obi-Wan," Mace continued,"not the repercussions. We Jedi are family. We have always been with you, and you turned away from us, not to us. The situation at Melida/Daan was heartbreaking, but you didn't release your feelings to the Force, nor to Qui-Gon. You simply acted. Blindly. Foolishly."

He closed his eyes, sinking his teeth harder into his lip.

Worthless.

"Have your old life again, you cannot." Yoda said. "Unclear is your path."

"Wait you must, Obi-Wan. Hard, it is. Patient we must be until the Force reveals your path."

"Taking you back under such circumstances would be a terrible mistake," Adi Gallia added, her tone gentle.

He said nothing, his heart shattered...




With a shuddering breath, Obi-Wan opened his eyes. His fingers tightened on the blanket as he gazed at the ceiling.

The dream. He'd been having it for several months now, reliving that Council meeting over and over again after his return from Melida/Daan. He hated it.

He got out of bed, shedding his clothes as he made his way to the fresher. Splashing water on his face, he looked in the mirror.

Taking you back under such circumstances would be a terrible mistake.

And yet, they had.

Have your old life again you cannot.

No.

No, he couldn't.

He understood that perfectly now.

 

Wow. Very well done, JS. Awesome post!

 

Wow! That was great, Suzuran! So, what makes Obi-Wan feel so sure that his life will never be the same?

 

Okay my mind is really in the gutter tonight.Why you ask,Padawan/Because as wonderful as this post was only one thing keeps jumping out at me. shedding his clothes I need to go to bed!

I am more then happy to be known for turning people to the Xani side of the Force It's a wonderful place to be!

 

Ooo!!! New post !!

*reads it*

Hey! what's going on here!! I gotta find out, MORE!!

 

Great start Suzuran

 

Hey! I've always liked Xani...especially paired with Obi

Obiously there's a time jump between the two posts, right?

How old is Obi?

*Member of the confused club*

Excellent post?Maybe I should read the "evil" JA and JQ books. Then I might know what is going on.