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One Door Closes - AU, from Naboo - Updated - 10/19

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by CYNICAL21, Nov 16, 2002.

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  1. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    This is one of those maddening things that happens to writers sometimes - a storyline that flares up in the mind - and refuses to be ignored, even when one has NO time, and NO opportunity to expand on it and explore the possibilities until much, much later. Still - it demands to be written, so that it doesn't get lost in the shuffle and forgotten.

    Therefore, here is the prologue - and I don't have a clue when I'll get to anything more. Still, by posting it I provide a spur for myself to come back to it, sooner or later. In the meantime, I think it will make a nice little stand-alone preview of what is yet to come.

    As in all things Star Wars, George is the guru. In him, all things are possible - and we must be eternally grateful that he allows us to play here - and endlessly careful to handle his creations with much love and tenderness.

    So = here we go.

    One Door Closes, Another Opens



    "Confer on you the title of Jedi Knight, the Council does."

    The words, solemnly spoken, seemed to hang for a moment in the air, as the young man remained absolutely still, chameleon eyes fixed on something only he could see. Behind him, beyond the arched windows, the city of Theed bustled with the aftermath of invasion. Great joy at having survived the ordeal was tempered with great sorrow for those who had not been so fortunate.

    A number which had - almost - included one legendary Jedi Master, who lay now in a horizontal bacta tank, healing from a wound that should have been mortal. Would have been mortal, except for the determination (others would say, stubbornness) of one obstinate young padawan.

    He had stayed by Qui-Gon Jinn's's side throughout the hours of uncertainty - when neither healer nor Jedi Master could say for sure if the man would be able to fight off the effects of the traumatic injury inflicted by the Sith's blade - but that time had passed. Master Jinn would recover - albeit slowly and with great difficulty.

    And now the Jedi Order wanted to make the apprentice a knight. Obi-Wan could not quite suppress a rueful smile as he lifted his eyes to regard the ancient Master who had just made the statement that he had been waiting all his life to hear.

    For the merest fraction of a second, he had a completely illogical wish to unlearn what he had learned - to NOT know what he knew.

    Then he sighed, and knew what he must do.

    "No," he said softly - and in that single syllable was the death of hope - the end of a dream. The shattering of a broken heart.

    If the young man's spirit at that moment had not been so immersed in his own agony, he might have managed to smile at Master Yoda's reaction. It was not often that anything or anyone managed to surprise the eldest of the Jedi.

    "Refuse, you must not," groused the tiny Master.

    Obi-Wan allowed himself a small sigh; then he detached the lightsaber that he carried on his belt - the lightsaber that rightfully belonged to Master Qui-Gon Jinn and could now be returned to him - and thumbed the switch to ignite it. With one quick twist, he severed his padawan braid, then extinguished the saber, and laid both braid and weapon at the feet of the tiny Master.

    As Yoda's eyes grew huge and solemn, Obi-Wan fell into the ritual position, touching his forehead to the floor.

    "Obi-Wan, don't . . ."

    "According to my oaths, sworn upon the occasion of my apprenticeship, I accept the will of the Force - and hereby relinquish all rights, privileges, and ranks earned within the Jedi Order. As a symbol of my submission to the discipline of the Knighthood, I surrender both my lightsaber, and my padawan braid, in my pledge to remain loyal to the ideals and purposes of the Jedi code."

    Finally, he straightened, and reached back to release the clasp that held his hair in the knight's tail.

    "Stop, please," said Master Yoda, his distress obvious in the tremor in his voice. "Why would you do this? Why would you . . ."

    "Because I didn't earn it," said the young man, rising to his feet, "and you know it. The fact that I survived this
     
  2. Antigone

    Antigone Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 24, 2002
    Nicely done, Cyn.

    An interesting road to explore - and one I am certain you are capable of navigating us through extremely well.

    I can only speculate where you may take this one, but will never come close to that which your brain seems to spit out with ease.

    The next post, whenever that may be :D, will receive a slightly more competant comment - 3 hours of dealing with a few unctuous car salesmen in the midst of falling snow has frozen my brain.

    ~Antigone
     
  3. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Very moving.I can't imagine where you will take us on this journey.The possibilities are endless.Hope you can get to it soon. :)
     
  4. Cascadia

    Cascadia Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 15, 2002
    Wonderful beginning, CYN!

    Can't wait to see what Qui-Gon does about Obi-Wan - whether he'll try to forget about him and train Anakin or whether he'll try to find him.

    I'll be here when you can get back to this.
     
  5. Nicky

    Nicky Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2002
    :eek: I'm stunned... You definitely have to continue with this story soon. So many emotions, uncertainty, lack of confidence, regret, disappointment... and all these just in a prologue - I can't wait for what's going to be in the story, what path Obi-Wan will have taken and, of course, when and how they'll meet again.

    Nicky
     
  6. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Good evening, All. Just surfacing from a DVD wallow session - back to back Obis in other words - only to find it quiet as a tomb around here. I think Obi-lovers must generally be real party- animals, as there are few to be found hanging loose on week-ends.

    Oh, well, as for me, I'm prepared for the perfect evening, with Moulin Rouge 1 & 2 on the CD player, a pitcher of margaritas in the fridge, and the new James Patterson novel in hand, along with a volume of my beloved Pablo if I get too overwrought with the mystery thing.

    What a way to unwind and end the week!

    This little plotling just insinuated itself into my mind and would NOT go away - but it won't develop rapidly I'm afraid. Too many other irons in the fire - including the AHEM - question of "What Happens to the Dagger?" among others. But I'll get back to it when I can. I think it has the makings of a really intriguing premise; it just needs polish.

    Thanks for your replys and your enthusiasm. That alone will spur me to keep working on it.

    CYN
     
  7. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    Wow, a very intriguing beginning, CYN. I hope you get more time to write.

    Looks beautiful so far. :)
     
  8. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    I discovered this treasure, and was a little creeped out. I had just been wondering if you would ever write a sort of TPM AU featuring Qui-Gon.

    I guess some dreams come true!!! [face_love]

    But with your intimidating, amazing talent, I might as well shut down my AU, Blurred Visions, right now...

    I'm certain you will take this storyline to amazing heights and depths. If the prologue is any indication, I will eagerly await each post, as I do with all your fictions.

    :D

    And listening to Moulin Rouge 1 and 2 after back to back Obi viewings sounds perfect to me...Actually, it sounds like what I do daily. Hmm... I guess you have more of a life than I do! [face_laugh]... :_|

    Can't wait for you to continue. :)
     
  9. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    I was just going to edit my other message, but decided I might as well up this.

    I was reading a post I somehow missed of AUF on ff.net and thought I'd tell you it's so good it's kinda...scary. [face_shocked]

    You must've sold your soul to the Devil to get that talent!!! I just love that little lady healer, especially when she's yelling at Qui-Gon. [face_laugh]

    I know I'll see that same trademark rhythm and originality here!!!
     
  10. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Hmmmm - on second thought :D , maybe not!

    LE - Don't even SAY that! Your fic is drawing good, well-deserved response, and besides, I want to know where you're going next with it.

    There's always room for a good fic - and the number of possibly AU storylines is infinite. Besides, given the fact that I could toss a bowling ball through here right now - and not worry about mowing down a single soul - I don't think there's a huge interest in continuation.

    Oh, don't worry - I'll write it. I can never just leave something like this alone once its got its hooks in me - but you might want to look for it on ff.n, despite the fact that it will, in some ways, reflect an attitude illustrated in my Freeze Frames - but it will translate easily enough. For some reason, my work gets a much better response there. Different ambiance maybe - who knows?

    Anyway - going out for brunch. So everyone have a lovely Sunday.

    Later.

    CYN
     
  11. DarthLothi

    DarthLothi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Looks like all the Obi-lovers have real lives, while the rest of us just hang out online all weekend... ;)

    I will admit to being a horrible lurker on most of your stories, CYN - not to mention being largely unable to keep up with your prolificness (is that a word?). But the beginning of this has captured my attention, and I will try to keep up with it.
     
  12. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Prolificity? Or you could just adopt my children's favorite expression. Quote: she never knows when to shut up!!

    Anyway, Lothi, glad to know you're intrigued - but don't hold your breath. Prolific or not, life has a habit of demanding equal time - or more - and getting it, and I already have three threads running - two of which are turning out to be perpetual - which was not my original intention. Nevertheless, there's always another scene coming together in my head - and I can't just leave it alone.

    Still - when I DO get to it, I really think this one might prove interesting when we posit the question: where do failed (or resigned) Jedi go - and what happens to them?

    My little waltz down this particular yellow brick road will provide one possibility. :D

    Gotta run. Football is calling to me in its lovely stentorian tones. :)

    CYN
     
  13. Jedi_Knight_Hunter

    Jedi_Knight_Hunter Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2002
    Great intro CYN. I don't know whether to pity the bolthead or to hate him. I'm leaning more towards hate because of the way he acted in TPM, but I supose I could find it in my heart to pity him.

    I hope that this story demands more from you soon. :) (Of course, the stories where Buckethead survives are my favorite ones because they are always different.

    Good job, I don 't know how you can do this with, what 4 stories? going on right now.
     
  14. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
    Another Cynical story? What a nice addition to my weekend! :D

    As usual, you're descriptions are excellent, your emotions realistic... I can almost hear Qui-Gon yelling when he says he doesn't want to see Anakin, his heavy breathing when Yoda says that Obi is gone, and he touches the cold bond.

    I'm curious to see where you go with this. Will Qui-Gon drive Anakin to the Dark Side, with his pining for Obi-Wan? Will he search out OWK to at least have closure (hint hint ;))? Where did Obi go?

    Can't wait for the next post, whenever it comes.
     
  15. DarthLothi

    DarthLothi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Ah, yes, the siren song of Sunday afternoon football - who can resist? I just hope you're enjoying that basketball team that decided to abandon us for the charms of New Orleans... :mad: :p
     
  16. Master_Comedy_Kitty

    Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2002
    OBI-WAN!!!!! YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID (sexy) STUPID MAN!!! TURN AROUND AND GO BACK! NOW!!!! :mad:

    Wonderful as usualy Cyn. I want to know where the hell you pull your talent from. :p
     
  17. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    This is brilliant Cyn! What a twist, Obi-Wan rejecting the Jedi Order, how will this affect Qui-Gon and Anakin.

    Looking forward to more.


    Sabe126
     
  18. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Lothi - having never been a particularly avid fan of basketball, I was only mildly interested when the Hornets came our way. However, since I have been physically restrained from sending hate mail to the Atlanta Falcons (it was just a tiny little threat - involving a tiny little nuclear device --- HEY, I'm KIDDING, OK!!!!) I may have to take a more active interest - in an effort to avoid STROKING OUT!!!

    OH, well, to quote - whoever said it first - you can't win 'em all - but to lose to Atlanta - twice!!!!! *%#@&^%*%#

    OK - now I feel . . . better.

    Anyway, to address some of the questions about this plot - it's not secret to anyone that Obi-WAn is MY classic hero - and has been since I saw the first of the original films. And it occurred to me recently that - if he foresaw what Anakin would become, and what he would do - to both the Jedi and to the innocent people of the Republic - that, given his very intense sense of honor and his compulsion to be true to the tenets of the Code, how could he possibly consent to go along with the Council's decision to train Anakin? It would be contrary to everything he believed in. Therefore, if he is true to himself and his beliefs, I think this would be a logical action for him to take.

    Furthermore - and this is just the barest hint of other concerns - I invite those of you who had read my Freeze Frame vignettes to take it a step further. As a child he saw a lot of unfairness, a lot of trauma happen to a lot of people. As an adult, how would he respond?

    Don't mean to be deliberately provocative - but, if I give away too much, then it becomes pedestrian and predictable - and we can't have that, now can we?

    So - I won't make any promises about time constraints; I'll only say that I won't take any longer than I must.

    Now - unfortunately, real life rears its ugly head - to remind me that I have a report due tomorrow AM, the rough draft of which is still VERRRRRYYY rough.

    Gotta go. Night, All.

    CYN
     
  19. Mysticshill

    Mysticshill Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2001
    Wow, really great.

    I like it. I can't wait to see how this goes on. I really hope that it lasts for a good long time and takes all the way to Anakin's turning (if in fact he does).

    Waiting for more!
     
  20. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    What a start!

    I'm sorry Cyn, but I am just too tired to take you up on a little rant. Check in with me in about 2 days. Maybe I will have gotten some sleep by then...
     
  21. Darth_Tim

    Darth_Tim Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 26, 2002
    You? Pedestrian? Predictable? Hardly.

    Wow. This is certainly an eye-catching opener and with a great deal of potential to move in many different directions.

    Glad to see you're still posting here (as I recall your comment about FFN vs. the JC earlier.)

    -Tim
     
  22. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    RE still posting here: it may not pan out later - but, for now, several things that I envision happening in this thread will have a relation and/or a tie-in to questions raised in my Freeze Frame vignettes. The only question in deciding where to post this ultimately is: how dark will this ultimately become? The answer, so far, is, 'pretty dark' - but not black-out, can't-post-it-here dark. Not yet. But I never know when I start a fic how I'm going to get to the end, although I often do know what the end will be.

    So, all I can say is, it starts here and goes for as long as it's appropriate here. If that's all the way to the end, then so be it. If not - anyone who want to follow it can probably figure out where it will be. :D

    CYN
     
  23. Lady_Kandriya

    Lady_Kandriya Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    This is an excellent story! Very nicely done. This is the first story, I believe, in which I felt pity for Qui-Gon at the expense of Obi-Wan.

    Obi-Wan's thoughts about the battle and the near-death of his master were chilling. And almost pitiful. That poor boy, always underestimating his capabilities (though, I have to say that him killing Maul had more to do with luck than skill), thinking that he is unloved. And Qui-Gon, meanwhile, loving Obi-Wan like his son, but unable to express it to him. The characterizations are perfect.
     
  24. Renton Kenobi

    Renton Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2000
    *Smacks Obi-Wan upside the head.*

    *Looks at Qui-Gon, smacks him upside the head.*

    Qui-Gon: Ow! I was still recovering?

    Renton: Has that stopped me before?

    Qui-Gon: Well no...

    Love it Cynical! :D
     
  25. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    OK - I lied. Got back much sooner than I thought. I wonder if every writer is as disorganized as I am. I don't write in any kind of rhyme or reason or pattern. I just write as it comes to me - and this is what came - today. Tomorrow - who knows?

    Anyway - got some lovely visions working in my head for this - and I hope you'll find it intriguing as we go along.

    To repeat myself for the zillionth time - everything is the intellectual property of Master George Lucas - truly the Jedi Master of us all - and I will be eternally grateful if he accepts my paltry offering in the spirit in which it's created - IE, our of pure love - and suppresses any nasty old urges to take legal action, ordering a cease and desist - for then, what on earth would I do with all this energy and all these images burning holes in my head?




    Chapter Two: Gone Out of Mind

    What I want back is what I was
    Before the bed, before the knife,
    Before the brooch-pin and the salve
    Fixed me in this parenthesis;
    Horses fluent in the wind,
    A place, a time gone out of mind.


    -----The Eye-mote - Sylvia Plath


    If one had set out to discover the most perfect place in all the galaxy for recuperating from a wound that should have been mortal ? but wasn?t ? one could hardly have done better than Naboo, thought the Jedi Master.

    Rich in the living Force, rife with natural beauty, unsullied by the blight of sophistication that always seemed to reach out with greedy fingers to invade the most innocent, most unspoiled of settings and reshape it into fashionable superficiality. Naboo had managed, by virtue of its extremely remote location ? and a large measure of sheer good luck ? to avoid the gilded, veneered destiny of less fortunate worlds.

    He sat on the stone terrace, staring out over brilliant incredibly blue waters, and watched as a flight of gold-feathered pairreta birds wheeled above the small islands in the distance, their perfectly choreographed movements a dance of incredible complexity and great beauty.

    It was an achingly lovely world ? filled with warmth and serenity and bright, happy people who were open and friendly and eager to express their gratitude to the Jedi, for saving their world.

    Anakin Skywalker ? as the newest, smallest member of the Jedi Order ? was feasting on the sensations provided for him. Qui-Gon had hovered as a silent witness just the day before as Queen Amidala ? a vision of loveliness in one of her elaborate trademark gowns ? this one a concoction of lavender lace ? had knelt before the boy ? resplendent in his own right in his new Jedi garb ? and bestowed upon him the Nubian Star Medal, awarded only to great heroes of the Republic.

    Though claiming some slight embarrassment over the huge fuss engendered by his actions on the Trade Federation control ship, the boy had, nevertheless, been pleased and perhaps just slightly smug in accepting his award. Anakin had never known such adulation before ? never been the recipient of so much open-handed, overweening praise before ? and he had decided with great alacrity that it was something for which he could quickly develop a hearty appetite.

    Qui-Gon Jinn had remained in the shadows at the very edge of the great pavilion where the ceremony had been held, having refused any suggestion that he should participate in the celebration or accept any token of recognition for his own actions.

    And spent his time, then and ever since, mulling over the words repeated to him by his own Master, as he had described Obi-Wan?s departure.

    ?Unable to condone the actions of the Jedi, he was. Believes the training of young Skywalker . . . will bring about the downfall of the Order. Believed it would be . . . dishonorable for him to accept the Council?s decision ? and remain silent.?

    Qui-Gon had closed his eyes as the tiny Master had recited the words ? and had been able, with very little use of his imagination, to hear them in the dulcet tones of his padawan.

    ?Taught hi
     
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