Life's Circles (JA) Chapter 11 finished 2/22/03

Hey Everybody! I'm starting this again. This is my first story. Don't let that stop you. I want all you all to be as knit-picky as you please. I would like to improve on my writing style. Please help me out here.


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Prolog-Jedi Temple Gardens

The sunrise was beautiful. Even though Tahl knew it wasn't real, the yellows, pinks, and oranges always inspired her. She hadn't missed a sunrise since her sight had come back. However, thinking about that ruined the sunrise.

//Star. Why had she come back? Did she expect some sort of mercy after her betrayl? Did she think that by giving me back my sight she could be easily forgiven? Her betrayl was worse than Xanatos' betrayl to Qui-Gon.// Tahl didn't have any answers. Only more questions that haunted her morning peace.

Bant walked into the garden. She knew that her master would be there. Master Tahl found comfort in the sunrise. But not today. Bant could tell that something was wrong. She didn't understand why her master had this turmoil inside her, but knew that her master didn't want to discuss it. She had already tried that.

"Master," quietly came Bant's voice.

Even though Bant had said it gently, Tahl was still startled by her padawan's sudden appearance. "Yes, Padawan?"

"Master, are you alright?" Bant asked with concern.

"Not really," came the truthful reply. "But everything will be." //Just as long as Star stays away from me and my padawan. We don't need her depravity here.//

 

*"Are there any aminals in here?" Where is everybody? Reply please!!! Anywho, here's chapter one.*

Chapter One-A Transport Ship


"Master, this doesn't make any sense." Sixteen year old Obi-Wan Kenobi stated after looking through the mission reports. "This seems to be someone's idea of a joke. One that the Republic doesn't find very funny."

"I agree, Padawan. This does appear to be a really bad joke. However, we must never confuse actions with motives. I believe that as soon as we find the motive, we will find the culprit and all the children."

Their mission, and the missions of ten other Jedi teams, was to find the missing heir to the throne on ten of the eleven monarchy planets. One of the teams was going to Mithran as body guards to the princess of that planet.

Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi were onk their way to the planet Hista, where the youngest royal child was from. However, before they could discuss their mission further, they were thrown against the wall as the ship lurched to starboard. They had been pulled from hyperspace.

Recovering quickly the two Jedi raced to the bridge. "Pirates!" The captain yelled. "We need to get all the passengers to the middle of the ship immedaitely!"

The ship was shaped like an oval. All the quarters ringed the outside with the cafeteria in the middle. The bridge was in the front. From the bridge, the hallway split in half. Obi-Wan ran down the hall to the left. Qui-Gon ran down the right hall.

Both worked quickly to alert the passengers, but neither got very far. The pirates came through the doors.

Qui-Gon was hard pressed to keep upo with the volley of blaster fire. Fortunately, a few of the passengers helped the others get to safely. Qui-Gon hoped that Obi-Wan was doing alright. But something seemed wrong. The pirates were only shooting. They were not trying to enter the ship at all. Suddenly, the firing stopped. The entire ship was silent, then erupted in cheers. The pirates were defeated.

Qui-Gon didn't share in the relief and excitement. The attack had been too short. Had the "pirates" accomplished their goal? All this passed through Qui-Gon's mind as he went looking for Obi-wan.

Obi-Wan wasn't at the hatch. There was no trace of him. There was only one thing to indicate that anybody had been there at all. Where Obi-Wan should have been, was a simple message tube.

 

*WOW! So many replies! Sorry, had to get my sarcasm out. Here's chapter 2.*

Chapter 2-Still with Qui-Gon


//I can't believe this. Does this "Craze" really expect me to believe her?// Qui-Gon thought in disbelief. He had just listened to the message that had been left by the "pirates". He decided to listen to it again. This person was crazy.

He hit the play button and once again watched the foot tall holo show up. The figure was dressed in a dark cloak with a hood that hid the face. The figure bowed, and, as it stood, it removed the hood. Qui-Gon could see that it was a young woman, probably twenty or so yeas old. Her long dark hair covered the left side of her face. She showed no emotion. The figure began to speak.

"Greatings and salutations. I am known as Craze; short for The Crazy One. I regret to inform you that your loved one is missing. Although, you've probably already figured that out. I have borrowed them for a short period of time and will return them as soon as possible. I know I should ask before borrowing, but asking was out of the question considering the situation. I look forward to meeting you soon, with your loved one. So until then, farewell."

The holo of Craze bowed again, replaced the hood, and faded. Qui-Gon simply hoped that Obi-Wan would be okay with people like that as his capturers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Obi-Wan was still groggy. For some reason it was taking forever for him to do anything. He tried to use the Force to aid him in waking up. He focused, and reached out...to nothing.

Panic siezed him and that adreneline rush woke him up real quick. So quickly, in fact, that it startled the other occupants of the room.

"Well, guess he's awake now." a voice laughed. Obi-Wan focused on the speaker. He was young, humaniod, and laughing at Obi-Wan. A few of the other kids joined in but not for long.

"Hey, welcome to the world of the living stranger. We formally greet you to our temporary abode." the fourten year old kid continued.

"Who are you, where am I, and who are all these other kids?" Obi-Wan asked in a need to understand what was happening.

"Well, I'm known as Darran. Prince Darran, even though I haven't been up to my princely duties lately. These other's here are the other "missin' in action" princes and princess. Although I consider us hard to find, not missin'. You are the newest member of the prisoners of the Secret. What you be called, kid?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. I'm a Jedi."

"Jedi, huh. Well, if they be capturin' your kind, I sure hope Craze has the best escape plan ever."

"Craze?" Obi-Wan asked confused.

"Yeah, she is another member of our band of missin's. She has a plan for escaping that should be set into action any day now."

"Why is that?"

"Because you filled in the last locks, my friend."

It was then that Obi-Wan realized that he was locked to the wall with his hands above his head. Then is dawned on him that everyone was locked that way. Only one set of locks were not filled.

"Is that where Craze is usually locked?"

"Yep. She's a tough one, been here for almost six years. Takes quite a few beatings."

Before Obi-Wan could ask any more questions, the door to the lock-up opened.

 

Will someone Please respond to my story? It's really lonely writing for my own benefit. Please respond and critisize this thing. I really want to improve. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease???

 

*raises hand* I'm here! I can't believe it took me this long to find this. This looks like it will be an interesting story. I really can't wait for more.

I look forward to more characterization of your characters!

 

Thanks RingThane! You have just made my day. Here we go for chapter 3

 

Chapter 3

The room became deadly silent as a young woman was forcably locked up. She looked to be about twenty years old. Her long, black hair covered the left side of her face. Everyone on the room got a brief look at her back. It was raw, and bloody. Evidence of yet another beating with the whip. The guard finally left. Everyone started talking at once.

"Craze okay?"

"What did you do now?"

"Are you alright?"

Craze let out a small chuckle at the concern that these little ones gave her. //If only they knew the truth.// she thought ruefully.

"I'm normal. Relax. Who's the newbie?"

"This be Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi. We were just getting to the Q and A part of initiation. You got back at the perfect time." Darran answered.

"So, Kenobi, what questions do you have for me?" Craze finally addressed him.

Obi-Wan decidedto address the question that had been nagging at him ever since he came to. "Why can't I feel the Force?"

A chorus of voices interupted Crazes response. "What's the Force?"

"The Force is what give the Jedi their power." she answered the children first. "Now, as to why you can't feel it, it's simple really. Ysalamari."

Again the chorus of innocent voices. "What's that?"

"They are a lizard-like creature used by all pirates. They make a bubble in the Force in which the Jedi cannot feel the Force when they are in this bubble. The more ysalamari there are, the bigger the bubble."

Obi-Wan remembered learning about ysalamari at the temple. He had always hoped to avoid those things.

"Any more questions?" Craze asked.

"Not at the moment." Obi-Wan answered.

"Hey Craze." Darran called.

"Yes?"

"What's the word?"

"Tonight." she replied like it was obvious. "We escape for home tonight, all of them."

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Qui-Gon stepped out of the ship into the sunlight. The wind blew a chill into the air. Hista was a cold planet. It was mostly ice. The sun provided little warmth.

"Master Jinn!" a voice called from across the hanger. "Master Jinn!"

Qui-Gon turned to see a young, royal aid running toward him. The aid looked like the typical histian with the blue-white fur, pointed ears, and bushy tail. Other than these features, this race was rather humanoid.

"The King and Queen are most anxious to meet with you. They have provided a transport for you and your apprentice." the young aid said in a rush as soon as he was beside the Jedi Master. "Where is your apprentice?"

"My padawan is missing at the moment." Qui-Gon said. Even though he always prefered to walk, he decided to take the transport this time. He wanted to begin his investigation where all this began-at the palace. "I will take that transport. We can leave immediately."

The Aid didn't understand. "Will your 'padawan' not join us?"

"Hopefully soon." Qui-Gon muttered to himself. "Let us not keep their Highness' waiting. Let's go." He said aloud.

The poor aid still didn't understand, but who was he to question a Jedi Master?

******

The palace halls were brightly decorated with gold lining, and snowy white curtains. The art on pedestals spoke of the richness of this planet.

The aid led Qui-Gon to the throne room. It too was brightly decorated, but it seemed sad, somehow, as if it were missing the one thing that made it joyous and grand.

Qui-Gon silently greeted the King and Queen, who both looked like they hadn't slept in at least a month. He waited for them to start. They did. The King quickly got the welcoming formalities out of the way and went straight to the heart of the situation.

"We didn't hear anything. Neither did any of the guards. All we know is that the name of Alisa's kidnapper is Craze."

Qui-Gon's mind froze as he heard that name. "How do you know the name?" he finally asked.

"Because she left a message." came the reply. "Here let me show you."

The King had a servant bring forth the message. It started speaking after a bow. "Greetings and salutations......"


*What do y

 

well hey how is it going?? I really have enjoyed your story so far and I wait to hear more but seriously it is pretty cool gotta go I'll have to come back and read it when there is more posted so please "keep me posted" ha ha

 

Good post!

So they are planning to escape. I get the distinct feeling that things are not going to go as they want it to.

 

Hey, bills_shipyard good to see ya. I'm glad you like it.

RingThane thanks for being there. Guess we'll see what happens huh.

I might not get to continue till late Thurs, Fri, or Sat. Please stick with me here. I will up. I promise.
REMEMBER: knit-picky. Thanks.

 

Chapter 4-part one

Qui-Gon paced his room. This made absolutely no sense. If Craze kidnapped the royal children, why did she steal Obi-Wan? Qui-Gon had contacted the Jedi team on Mithran. They said that there hadn't been an attack, and that Princess Mariana was still safe. Why take a non-royal child, when there was still one to take?

Now the Jedi wouldn't know who to protect, or if these pirates had already accomlished what they wanted. Whatever that was. This was getting to be way too frustrating.

Qui-Gon sat in the middle of his room. Maybe some meditation would help.
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*I know it's short, and probably not what you wanted charater-wise, but I need to go to bed. I'll post more tomorrow. Smile Always!*

 

You're not kidding! That was way short. But it was a good piece none the less!

More soon?

 

Noone had to wait long for their moment of escape. In fact, it came so quickly that they almost forgot to go along. Everybody had started talking excitedly about what they were going to do when they get home when the guard came in.

All became as silent as a tomb, except Craze. She luanched herself at the guard, and before he could react, had him in a choke hold. He was quickly out cold. Wasting no time, Craze took the key and unlocked Darran. He unlocked the other's while Craze, locked up the guard.

Obi-Wan was shocked at the effective, yet insane way of escaping. Seeing his expression, Darran whispered, "We don't call her 'The Crazy One' for nothin'."

Craze had everyone quickly line up single file, like kindergarteners walking down the school hall. Reminded them to be quiet and led them down the longest ship hallway in history. Perhaps it was the tense quietness that made that walk seem so long, but all were glad when Craze called a halt.

Obi-Wan and Darran were called from the end of the line. They were instructed to go through the door on their right, for that led to the ship docking area. They needed to find a ship that would hold up to twenty-five beings. Obi-Wan and Darran were to begin take off as soon as they saw Craze from the front of the ship.

"Where are you going?" Obi-Wan asked.

"To finish what I just started," was the cryptic reply. And Craze slunk down the hall to do what needed to be done.

//I hope this Craze can be trusted. Oh, things would be so much clearer with Master here, and the Force.// Obi-Wan thought.

******

//Well, that was cretainly easy.// Obi-Wan thought. But he should have realized that it was too good to last. Everything was fine until the engine started.

They had run into no guards, no hidden alarms, nothing. Until the ship started. Darran saw Craze from the window, they started the ship, and then, suddenly, whata seemed like a million men with blasters came out of the woodwork like termites. Unfortunately, they all had one target, Craze. She ran toward the ship, dodging blaster fire as she weaved, but it was getting closer to the mark by the milisecond.

The ship had immediately lifted from the floor, and the landing ramp began closing on it's own. Craze noted this as she whipped out the blue-white lightsaber of Obi-Wan Kenobi to deflect blaster fire as she ran.

The ramp was too high for her to jump to by now, so she used another item she picked up on her little quest. The cable-launcher quickly secured to the ship and yanked her off her feet. She didn't hold on for long. As soon as she was high enough, she dropped into the rapidly closing gap made by the ramp.

Craze ran to the cockpit and took over the pilot seat. She turned the ship 180 degrees and raced out of the pirates ship, which, somehow, had come out of hyperspace. The docking bay doors closed behind them, and the pirate ship zoomed back into hyperspace.

Obi-Wan felt exhilerated. The Force was back. It was like drinking water after lying under the twin suns of Tatooine for a whole day. He felt like he was on top of the universe, but quickly crashed back to reality when severe pain burned his back, right side, and left shoulder.

Just as quickly as the pain appeared, it vanished. Obi-Wan couldn't figure it out, until he looked at Craze. The scars on her back had ripped open, and she had new blaster wounds on her right side and left shoulder. How was this possible? Obi-Wan tried to reach her through the Force and was met by a wall. He couldn't feel her in the Force. That was even stranger.

Craze set the ships hyperdrive for the planet Hista. She then turned to Obi-Wan, returned his lightsaber, and said, "Contact your Master. We're going to meet him."

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Master Qui-Gon Jinn's face broke into a huge smile as he felt Obi-Wan's presence. //My padawan is coming home.// he thought.

 

Yeah! wesa goin' home

 

noone is not a word... um... and how was it that craz got out of being locked up?

I do like the story line

this part I think needs a bit refinment or clarification

"Just as quickly as the pain appeared, it vanished. Obi-Wan couldn't figure it out, until he looked at Craze. The scars on her back had ripped open, and she had new blaster wounds on her right side and left shoulder. How was this possible? Obi-Wan tried to reach her through the Force and was met by a wall. He couldn't feel her in the Force. That was even stranger."

the reason why is that it seems to imply that he did figure it out but leave no indication that he did.

well I will comment more latter but it is getting late and I am not on my own computer right now. but hey keep it up I have really been enjoying your story.

 

Yea, knit-picky! Okay. Craze was locked up just like everyone else for there are twelve identical wrist locks around the room.

Obi-Wan hasn't figured out why he felt pain in the same places where Craze should. He didn't understand, tried to figure it out by trying to somehow connect with her through the force, but that failed. It's a mystery that will be explained later.

*Thanks for the tip about "noone". I'll keep that in mind.

 

Hey. Chapter 5 is pending. I need to do some research for it. In the meantime, please respond, and critcize.

Oh, I've noticed that definition is needed for the term knit-picky. Knit-picky is mistakes in grammer, spelling, and anything that is unclear or confusing.

Stop lurking and respond, please. Thanks.

 

I requested a stop to the lurking. Please give me your honest, blunt opinions. I will up after my research is done. Please!

 

You've got a great story here. If you want some advice, slow it down a bit. Get in touch with what they're feeling and thinking. Because you've got the suspense down. I love it.

Zara.

 

Thanks Zara! To slow it down, should I use more detail?

 

Detail is always good, but make sure that it doesn't interfere with the story. I know, I'm making this complicated. If you have more questions just ask.

 

Great. Thanks! I'll post more sometime this weekend. It'll get some character insight going.

 

HEY!!!!!!
The story isn't pending fast enough." "
+

 

Chill, HC. I'm upping today.

 

This is awsome!!! More post PLEASE!!!