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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

JCC 10 Word Movie Reviews

Discussion in 'Community' started by Rogue1-and-a-half, Sep 3, 2013.

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  1. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) – Jon M. Chu - **
    Bruce Willis, Rock overthrow President.
    Still silly, but much better.

    Man of Steel (2013) – Zack Snyder - **
    Clark Kent, Planet Earth meet.
    Amazing action can’t salvage script.

    Plimpton! Starring George Plimpton as Himself (2012) – Tom Bean, Luke Poling - **
    Plimpton becomes writer, has fun.
    Should be interesting but isn’t.

    Trance (2013) – Danny Boyle - **
    Art thieves need hypnotist’s help.
    Vibrant style surrounds uninteresting film.

    War Witch [Rebelle] (2012) – Kim Nguyen - **
    Child soldier struggles to survive.
    Needed a better lead actress.

    So, yeah, I tend to be really wordy; kinda infamous for those "wall of text" posts. So I decided to challenge myself to review some movies with only ten words: a five word summary and a five word assessment. I did a few and found it as addictive as salted peanuts; I can't stop writing the damn things.

    You guys do some. I'll post more of mine later.
     
    Rogue1-and-a-half, Sep 3, 2013
    #1
  2. Lazy Storm Trooper

    Lazy Storm Trooper Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2012
    The Star Wars Holiday Special
    Only a kid could watch.
    Stay Away at all costs.
     
    Lazy Storm Trooper, Sep 3, 2013
    #2
    DarthRelaxus and Sith-Lord-Gunray like this.
  3. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Skywalker Saga/LFL/YJCC Manager star 10 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Man of Steel:

    Superman throws Zod.
    Zod throws Superman.
    Repeat for two hours.
     
    anakinfansince1983 , Sep 3, 2013
    #3
    DarthRelaxus, Grievousdude and Violent Violet Menace like this.
  4. Arawn_Fenn

    Arawn_Fenn Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Edmond (2005)

    Guy who searches for cheapest sex possible and finds it.
     
    Arawn_Fenn, Sep 3, 2013
    #4
  5. Eeth-my-Koth

    Eeth-my-Koth Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    May 25, 2001
    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
    Close Encounters of the Indy Kind. Intense childhood raping occurs.
     
    Eeth-my-Koth, Sep 3, 2013
    #5
    Sebulba-X, Debo and Rogue1-and-a-half like this.
  6. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Skywalker Saga/LFL/YJCC Manager star 10 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Scary Movie 2:

    Gratuitous vomiting, terrible jokes and more terrible horror movie spoofs.
     
    anakinfansince1983 , Sep 3, 2013
    #6
  7. Arawn_Fenn

    Arawn_Fenn Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Dune (1984)
    The worm is the spice.
    Sting, where is thy death?
     
    Arawn_Fenn, Sep 3, 2013
    #7
    DarthRelaxus, Draconarius, Debo and 5 others like this.
  8. Violent Violet Menace

    Violent Violet Menace Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Man of Steel
    Plot:
    - I will turn Earth into Krypton.
    - Why?
    - Because!
     
    Violent Violet Menace, Sep 3, 2013
    #8
  9. Jabba-wocky

    Jabba-wocky Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    May 4, 2003
    Sorry, Legolas Skywalker already does his long form movie reviews in the "Last Movie You Saw" thread.
     
    Jabba-wocky, Sep 3, 2013
    #9
    Bacon164 and Boba_Fett_2001 like this.
  10. Eeth-my-Koth

    Eeth-my-Koth Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    May 25, 2001
    Die Hard

    Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho. BOOM!
     
    Eeth-my-Koth, Sep 3, 2013
    #10
    DarthRelaxus likes this.
  11. Juliet316

    Juliet316 39x Hangman Winner star 10 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Twilight

    Why does this steaming pile of monkey crap exist?
     
    Juliet316 , Sep 4, 2013
    #11
    DarthRelaxus, Grievousdude and Malthael like this.
  12. Mar17swgirl

    Mar17swgirl Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Dec 26, 2000
    =D=
     
    Mar17swgirl, Sep 4, 2013
    #12
  13. Boba_Fett_2001

    Boba_Fett_2001 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2000
    Star Trek V

    William Shatner movie
    What the **** did I just watch?

    (sorry I bent the rules a bit....best I could do :p)
     
    Boba_Fett_2001 , Sep 4, 2013
    #13
    DarthRelaxus, Sarge and Juliet316 like this.
  14. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    The Lone Ranger

    Hey you wanna make a franshise out of this? Lol
     
    I Are The Internets, Sep 4, 2013
    #14
  15. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    No joke. I just forgave Arawn for every stupid thing she ever said. (She is a girl, right?)


    John Dies at the End (2012) – Don Coscarelli - * ½
    Aliens, monsters, demons use drugs.
    The title isn’t even true.

    The Dark Knight Rises (2012) – Christopher Nolan - * ½
    Bane, Batman and Catwoman clash.
    Biggest movie disappointment in years.
     
    Rogue1-and-a-half, Sep 4, 2013
    #15
  16. Eeth-my-Koth

    Eeth-my-Koth Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    May 25, 2001
    Terminator 2: Judgment Day
    Similar to first. Liquid metal terminator. Less Linda Hamilton boobage.
     
    Eeth-my-Koth, Sep 4, 2013
    #16
  17. Malthael

    Malthael Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2012
    The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey (2012)
    Three more hours of little people on a hike. Yawn.
     
    Malthael, Sep 4, 2013
    #17
  18. Deputy Rick Grimes

    Deputy Rick Grimes Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2012

    My reviews are awesome, don't be jealous :p
     
    Deputy Rick Grimes, Sep 4, 2013
    #18
  19. Boba_Fett_2001

    Boba_Fett_2001 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2000
    Please. No one had better reviews than corran2.
     
    Boba_Fett_2001 , Sep 4, 2013
    #19
    tom likes this.
  20. Aytee-Aytee

    Aytee-Aytee Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2008
    Man of Steel -
    Dear Zod: Save yourself time and effort. Terraform Mars instead.
     
    Aytee-Aytee, Sep 4, 2013
    #20
    Darth_Invidious, anakinfansince1983 , Grievousdude and 1 other person like this.
  21. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    The Butler:

    I serve with dignity, and thus win my Academy Award.
     
    Jabbadabbado, Sep 4, 2013
    #21
    Juliet316 and Rogue1-and-a-half like this.
  22. Debo

    Debo Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2001
    Jurassic Park 3

    William H. Macy my ass.

    Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame.
     
    Debo, Sep 4, 2013
    #22
    Malthael likes this.
  23. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    I was slightly more charitable (okay, maybe a lot):


    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) – Peter Jackson - ***
    Dwarves, Hobbit on epic quest.
    Cartoonish moments trouble likable movie.
     
    Rogue1-and-a-half, Sep 4, 2013
    #23
  24. Malthael

    Malthael Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2012
    The Butler (2013):

    Name's Cecil. Cecil Gaines. Life isn't easy when you're chocolate.
     
    Malthael, Sep 4, 2013
    #24
  25. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    The To Do List (2013) – Maggie Carey – ½
    Virgin seeks sexual experience, stat.
    Raunchy comedy isn’t either one.
     
    Rogue1-and-a-half, Sep 5, 2013
    #25
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