Before - Legends 100 Reasons Kaylee Sometimes Hates Being a Jedi -- drabble challenge, OCs -- Week Twenty - 2/1

Daena: Thanks

earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks

Kim: Thanks! Me too

ginchy: Might spoil something if I tell you whether Lucian?s told the whole truth I can tell you about Gemma, though: not happy.

angry_bendu1: Thanks

Raphire: See, he?s starting to win you over


I'm not completely happy with this, mostly because the prompts were hard to work with.



Week Ten

Cantina

I followed Lucian on house calls and to one emergency. Every time he helped someone, he gave them that beautiful, sincere smile of his. And every time I fell a little more in love with him.

It hit me like an avalanche. I?d never felt this way before. I had hoped never to, because that would be breaking the Code. And I couldn?t do that; I?d be thrown out of the Order. I?d end up little in some seedy little cantina on a backwater planet, drinking and wondering what had happened.

But Lucian had done it. He had walked away.


Tapcaf

And I could stay here, be with Lucian.

Or I could stay with Gemma, stay with the Order. Be a Jedi. Go on missions. Wield my lightsaber in the name of justice and peace. Learn the mysteries of the Force.

I had friends in the Order. I had Gemma. For all that my Master could be strict, she was still fun. She was young for a Master; barely forty. She joked with me and talked with me and sat with me at tapcafs on Coruscant, watching the people who passed.

But was it enough for the rest of my life?


Diner

Would Lucian, in my position, do it? He had lost his master and his faith, which was why he had left without a word. I hadn?t lost anything. I?d gained something ? someone. Lucian, who in two days had turned my life upside down.

And he didn?t want me, not like that. He was kind to me and he let me come with him, but he had made it clear that he wasn?t interested, that I was too young for him.

I imagined just striking out on my own. Moving here, eating in diners every night, growing old enough for him.


Mess Hall

And what kind of life would that be, waiting for someone who didn?t want me? Finding a job and a place to live and a new way to live?

I knew rationally that I should go back to Coruscant with Gemma, go back to being a Jedi. Eat in the mess hall with my friends, play in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, train with lightsabers. Finding a house and a job would be hard, and who would want to eat in a diner every night, anyway?

That?s what my head said. But my heart jumped every time Lucian smiled.


Dining Room

What would it be like to live with him? Be smiled at constantly, watch those beautiful blue eyes twinkle with mirth? Sit in his dining room and eat warmed over food every night? Watch the sun rise every morning?

To be kissed by him?

It sounded crazy, even to me. How do you fall in love with someone you barely knew? But I had had crushes before, and none had felt like this.

You?re only sixteen. You don?t know what you want.

But Jedi are supposed to know before they can even talk.

Could I give my life up?

 

great set and what will she do? Lucian is nice to be with.

 

Mess Hall

And what kind of life would that be, waiting for someone who didn?t want me? Finding a job and a place to live and a new way to live?

I knew rationally that I should go back to Coruscant with Gemma, go back to being a Jedi. Eat in the mess hall with my friends, play in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, train with lightsabers. Finding a house and a job would be hard, and who would want to eat in a diner every night, anyway?

That?s what my head said. But my heart jumped every time Lucian smiled.

Ah yes, those first heady, headstrong days... The trick is to hold onto that feeling.

 

i know what you're doing your waiting till I admit I like Lucian then you're going to reveal he's actually the bad guy and break my heart! Well it won't work for the sake of Kaylee's heart I will stay mad at Lucian.
Great Fic. You lied about it not being a good post.

 

But Jedi are supposed to know before they can even talk.

Very true. And very hard for a sixteen year old to come to terms with. I wonder what she'll decide.

 

earlybird-obi-wan: She?s not quite sure yet.

Kim: Yeah

Raphire: I guess you?ll just have to wait and see What happens if he really is a good guy? And thanks, glad they were good

angry_bendu1: Yeah, and I?ve always hated that the Order was structured that way.



Week Eleven

Denial

Maybe I was in denial. Lucian had made it clear that he didn?t want me. He was seven years older than me. But I wanted him. Could I give up the life I knew to be with him? I wasn?t quite sure yet, but the answer was heading more and more toward yes every time I saw him smile.

He took me back to his house and made me dinner. I chatted with him happily about anything and everything. It was only after he?d finished washing the dishes that he brought up the thing I didn?t want to talk about.


Sadness

?Where does your master think you are??

I shrugged. ?I didn?t tell her when I left.?

?Ah.? He sat down at the table across from me. ?What are you doing, Kaylee-girl??

?I ? I?m just trying to be your friend,? I said defensively.

?A friend. Is that all??

I hesitated.

?Kaylee, I can?t be your lover. I won?t. You?re absolutely lovely, and if you were a few years older . . . but you?re not, and you can?t keep fantasizing that I?ll change my mind, because I won?t.?

?And besides, you?re a Jedi, and Jedi aren?t allowed to fall in love.?


Anger

?I can fall in love if I want to!? I retorted.

Lucian shook his head. ?The Jedi Order ??

?I don?t care about them, and neither do you!?

I felt angry tears start to slip out of my eyes. I tried to hide them, but they wouldn?t stop.

?Ah, Kaylee-girl, don?t cry.? He reached over and wiped away a tear that had escaped down my cheek.

?Yes, I left the Order, but I did that of my own choice, and I did it for me. You shouldn?t leave because of me. Two days ago, you wanted to be a Jedi.?


Guilt

?Just because I leave doesn?t mean you have to love me.? Even though I want you to.

Lucian shook his head. ?The only reason you?d leave is for me. If I hadn?t appeared in your life ??

?I?d be dead!?

??you would have no thoughts of leaving the Order. I won?t have you spend the rest of your life wishing you hadn?t given your life up. I?d feel too guilty.?

I sighed and looked down at my fingers. He didn?t want me to stay, would try to make me go. He didn?t want me here. He didn?t want me.


Acceptance

I took a deep breath and let it out. ?Fine. I?ll go back to Gemma and Coruscant and the Jedi Order.?

I met his eyes. ?But I?ll never forget you, Lucian.?

He smiled, and my heart warmed again. ?And I?ll never forget you, Kaylee-girl. But you?ll be a great Jedi some day.?

?Do you ever regret leaving??

He shook his head. ?No, I?m content with my life here. Healing makes me happy, and so does helping people who need it. And I don?t think that a Jedi who can?t bear to pick up his own lightsaber can be a Jedi.?

 

Acceptance

I took a deep breath and let it out. ?Fine. I?ll go back to Gemma and Coruscant and the Jedi Order.?

I met his eyes. ?But I?ll never forget you, Lucian.?

He smiled, and my heart warmed again. ?And I?ll never forget you, Kaylee-girl. But you?ll be a great Jedi some day.?

?Do you ever regret leaving??

He shook his head. ?No, I?m content with my life here. Healing makes me happy, and so does helping people who need it. And I don?t think that a Jedi who can?t bear to pick up his own lightsaber can be a Jedi.?

 

He shook his head. ?No, I?m content with my life here. Healing makes me happy, and so does helping people who need it. And I don?t think that a Jedi who can?t bear to pick up his own lightsaber can be a Jedi.?


He is a healer and they cannot kill.

great update to your story.

 

Poor Kaylee... Spurned in love. Maybe she'll turn dark and kill everyone "Evil Laughter reigns" Or maybe she'll get on with her life and be the best Jedi ever!
You're going to end this story soon aren't you?!!
Sigh... Good Job.

 

Young love is tough. But maybe Kaylee hasn't seen the last of Lucian. Or maybe she'll realize that the Order is her future. Great work showing her longing for love but her need for duty.

 

Kim: Thanks!

earlybird-obi-wan: Yep. Thanks!

Raphire: Not exactly Soon-ish. We?re a little over halfway through, but the rest has to be posted in the next two weeks-ish, so yeah Thanks!

ginchy: Thanks! Yep, one of those two


Week Twelve

Comet

Master Gemma didn?t ask where I had been. I think she already knew. At any rate, she was furious at me for disappearing without a word. She treated me to several lectures on the subject, all of which I ignored.

She didn?t wait very long. She completed our business with the prince quickly and within a day, we were on the landing pad, about to board our ship back to Coruscant, hurrying away like a comet through space.

I hadn?t expected to see him again, but he was there, waiting for me.

?Lucian,? I whispered, wondering why he had come.


Star

Lucian smiled at me.

?I couldn?t let you leave without saying goodbye.?

?Lucian, I . . .?

He wouldn?t let me speak. He leaned in closer and before I knew what he was doing, he kissed me. It was a chaste, gentle kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. I was too startled to kiss him the way I wanted, and he pulled away too quickly.

?I didn?t mean to push you away completely,? he said. ?I want to be with you too, Kaylee-girl. When you?re older, if you still want me, come find me.?

My heart was shining like a star.


Planet

Our ship shot away from the planet, Gemma and I both sitting silently in the cockpit. I was still reliving Lucian?s kiss again and again.

He wants me! He wants me too!

It was probably a good thing that he slipped away and Gemma had called for me to go, or I think I would have run after him. But I had already spent an agonizingly long time making the decision to leave. Lucian was right; I needed to grow up.

I?d be honest with myself. I had to be, or my life would be miserable. I?d wait as promised.


Moon

I would wait, I decided, seven years, until I was as old as Lucian is now. Then, if I truly wanted this man I barely knew, if I was willing to give up the Order and my future as a Jedi, I would come to him.

If I wasn?t willing to make that sacrifice for the possibility that we would really love each other, then I wouldn?t come, and he would have my answer.

I settled back in my seat, my decision made. Seven years was going to be a long time.

We passed Alderaan?s moon and shot into hyperspace.


Nebula

My heart felt like a nebula as Gemma set the ship down. We had barely spoken for the duration of the trip. I knew that she had asked for a meeting with the Council upon our arrival, and I was nervous. What if they threw me out? I wasn?t ready to go.

?I didn?t stay with him.?

Gemma ignored me.

?I chose to leave, to stay a Jedi.?

?Your heart isn?t in it,? she replied stiffly.

?I made my decision. I?m sorry you don?t like that I want him, but I can?t change that. And I am still a Jedi.?

 

Nice set and intriguing to see what Gemma will tell the council.

 

Your characters are so wonderfully written! Loving this.

 

Sigh... I suppose Gemma's right. I still think she's a stick in the mud though.
Amazingly done! Vaguely angsty and yet delectable.

 

I love "Moon" and Kaylee's thoughts on her future. But Gemma is right in "Nebula"... her heart isn't completely in being a Jedi anymore. I guess only time will tell if that changes or not. Excellent update!

 

earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks!! Oh, she?s really not happy.

Kim: Thanks!! Glad you?re enjoying

Raphire: Oh, she is Thanks!!

ginchy: Yep. That might change, though. Thanks!!


Week Thirteen

Sunshine

The Room of a Thousand Fountains felt fake.

Oh, the water was real, and the trees. The air smelled the same way. The room still had trails to wander through or sit and meditate, or just daydream.

It was my favorite place, so I came back to it. But it wasn?t the same, not for me.

The trees were grown and kept alive by artificial means, because Coruscant couldn?t support them. I remembered the lush feel of the soil in Lucian?s garden, and the sunshine on my face. I remembered watching the sun rise with him.

This sunshine wasn?t real.


Overcast

?She doesn?t accept me any longer,? I said to Derec Koon, the head of the Council.

?She doesn?t agree with your action on Alderaan,? he said gently.

?But I came back,? I whispered.

He nodded. ?You learned, and you chose us, despite what happened. But your master feels like you betrayed her by wanting something else.?

He held a hand up to ward off my protests. ?You did not intentionally hurt her. I know this, and so does she.

?She told us what happened with the boy.?

The water rushed through the room of the Room of a Thousand Fountains.


Rain

?You do not dispute this,? he said.

I stopped myself from shrugging and took a few minutes to consider my words carefully. ?I saw a different future for me, one that hadn?t been chosen for me a few months after my birth. I got to choose my own life, my own end. I love being a Jedi, but it?s hard. And I?m only sixteen. It will get harder.?

Master Koon nodded. ?I know.?

?And you know that I chose this.? Yet, I couldn?t stop a tear from falling down my cheek.

He nodded. ?I know you chose this for now.?


Snow

?What??

?Kaylee, I can see your heart more easily than you think. You chose to finish your training, but you still left this other option open. You still dwell on this other future.?

I sighed. ?Are you going to punish me??

?No.?

I look up, and he continued. ?Snow falls across the ground. Every footprint in it leaves its mark. Even when more snow falls, it doesn?t completely erase what came before.

?I think that if you wish to continue to be a Jedi, you must lock this other possibility out of your heart. But you will not lose it.?


Wind

?I don?t know if I can.?

?You must. You won?t get rid of it completely, but if you keep looking forward to a time when you can have something else, you will never really accept being a Jedi.?

I can?t! my heart cried. But I had to. There was no other option.

?Fine.? I?m sorry, Lucian. ?I?ll do what I can to move him out of my heart.?

He bowed his head to me. ?Thank you.?

The Room was still. There was no wind. I felt the artificialness of it all pressing in against me as I gave up Lucian.

 

Poor girl having to give up Lucian and the real garden

Great set again

 

*sniff* Poor Kaylee. Once you've felt love it's hard to go back. Poor poor Kaylee.

 

I love how you used the backdrop of the Fountains room to show the starkness of Kaylee's decision and the feelings in her heart. What a tough woman she is going to be, and one heck of a Jedi, I think. Great update!!

 

Sunshine

The Room of a Thousand Fountains felt fake.

Oh, the water was real, and the trees. The air smelled the same way. The room still had trails to wander through or sit and meditate, or just daydream.

It was my favorite place, so I came back to it. But it wasn?t the same, not for me.

The trees were grown and kept alive by artificial means, because Coruscant couldn?t support them. I remembered the lush feel of the soil in Lucian?s garden, and the sunshine on my face. I remembered watching the sun rise with him.

This sunshine wasn?t real.

Beautiful!

 

earlybird-obi-wan: That?s why I emphasized the change ? she feels like she?s giving up a real life for something she might not want anymore. Thanks!!

Raphire: Yeah, she?s not having an easy time of it.

ginchy: Thanks!! What doesn?t kill you makes you stronger and all that. But Kaylee has some hardship in her future . . .

Kim: Thanks!!


By the way, I have the rest of the story written (except for the last set, since it isn?t up) so posting should be somewhat regularly scheduled and this will be finished within the next week and a half.



Week Fourteen

Allies

We would never be friends again, Gemma and I. Something had broken between us on Alderaan, and it was irreparable. Our Force bond was still there, though weaker. We would survive the rest of my training together; I wouldn?t need to find a new master. But we wouldn?t be friends. Our former easy camaraderie, which had then only been broken at times when she needed to be the teacher, was gone.

We would still work together, but never easily. There would always be a distance. We couldn?t get back what we had had.

Now we were allies, but nothing more.


Enemies

?As your first lone assignment as a Jedi Knight, we?re sending you to the Koorian system,? Master Koon said. ?They?re having internal problems ? civil unrest. The governor believes that they could be headed for a civil war.?

I nodded my head. ?And you want me to stop it??

?Assess the situation and report back,? he corrected. ?If you can use diplomacy to resolve the conflict, that would be excellent. However, you?re not to get involved in a battle with either side. If it gets that far, it may be out of our hands and in the Republic?s.?

I nodded. ?Okay.?


Spies

?The situation is becoming more dangerous,? Governor Maite said. ?The rebels have used spies to infiltrate the government. I expect a full-out attack at any moment.?

This was beyond my capabilities ? I was no one?s idea of a diplomat. But I had to do my best. I was a Jedi now, a full Jedi Knight. This was what I had worked so hard to be allowed to do.

?I can attempt to weed them out,? I said, ?but I make no promises that I can get them all.?

He looked relieved. ?Whatever you can do, I will greatly appreciate it.?


Smuggler

Before I caught any spies, I caught wind of illegal smuggling activities. I apprehended one of their smugglers, but he couldn?t give me much information. Their network was too tight.

I dug deeper, but it was hard to find anything, spies included. These rebels were determined to overthrow the government, and it looked like they had the resources to carry out their goal. I was in way over my head. I desperately needed help.

I called the Council to give them a status update. I meant to ask for reinforcements, but I couldn?t get through. The communications blockade had begun.


Traitor

There was nothing I could do but sit and wait.

Diplomacy wasn?t working. Weeding out the spies seemed like an impossible task. I couldn?t get through to the Council or even get myself off the planet before it exploded.

This is too much! I can?t do it alone!

I wanted Gemma, even though we hadn?t spoken since my Trial. I wanted Master Koon. I wanted anybody!

I made my way to a comm station, determined to try yet again to get through to the Council. What I found in the room was someone, his back to me, destroying the unit.

 

Wow. How much time passed between posts? Poor Gemma and Kaylee. I hope Lucian doesn't betray Kaylee's trust.

 

intriguing update. who is that someone?

 

Traitor

There was nothing I could do but sit and wait.

Diplomacy wasn?t working. Weeding out the spies seemed like an impossible task. I couldn?t get through to the Council or even get myself off the planet before it exploded.

This is too much! I can?t do it alone!

I wanted Gemma, even though we hadn?t spoken since my Trial. I wanted Master Koon. I wanted anybody!

I made my way to a comm station, determined to try yet again to get through to the Council. What I found in the room was someone, his back to me, destroying the unit.

Uh oh.

 

Raphire: Seven years Lucian won?t show up for a while, and when he does . . . well, you?ll see

earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks!! Identity revealed now, but no one we know.

Kim: Pretty much, yeah.


Week 15

Spicy

The person looked up when I entered. Before I could react, he pointed a blaster at me. I grabbed for my lightsaber, hoping I could use the Force to heighten my speed and block the shot, but before I could thumb it on I felt another blaster being pressed against the back of my head.

?Drop it, Jedi,? someone snarled, and, knowing that I couldn?t turn it on and move before a close shot hit me, I did.

?Gag her.?

I let them tie me up, and felt the sickening, spicy smell of gas against my face, knocking me out.


Sweet

?What are we going to do with her??

?Don?t know. Get rid of her??

?Can we do that??

?In for an inch, in for a mile. We?ll already be in trouble with the Jedi Council for the coup. If she disappears, she can?t report that we?re the ones who did her in.?

?But who else would??

?Oh, they?ll suspect us, but they won?t have any proof.?

?But she?s just a sweet little thing. She wouldn?t hurt us, would she??

?She would if she could. Jedi are dangerous, Zef.?

I woke to the sound of voices and held my body still.


Sour

The taste of the gas they had used to knock me out was still sour in my mouth, but I tried to ignore it. I stayed silent until Zef and his partner ? who, by the sound of his voice, was the same man who had held the blaster to my head, were gone. Then I carefully used the Force to untie the knotted cloth they had wrapped me in.

They were either stupid or had been surprised by my interruption and hadn?t had the time to find anything better. It took me a while, but I managed to get free.


Bitter

I felt the bitter taste of fear and fought to control my emotions. I could feel people all around the room they were keeping me in. There were a lot of them ? I lost track of the number. There were too many for me to take down by myself, especially all at once. I would just have to sneak out of here. I would have to be quick and silent, and avoid as many of these rebels as possible.

I gathered by courage and reached for my lightsaber on my belt ? only to realize that it was no longer there.


Rotten

I tried not to panic when I noticed that it was gone. They must have taken it ? smart men would. They wouldn?t re-clip my weapon to my belt. They must have it.

I had to get it back, or I was completely defenseless.

My stomach felt rotten, queasy with nerves. I moved toward the door. I waited for a minutes and checked the corridor, making sure that no one would walk by and notice me escaping.

I used the Force to push the door open and realized something worse than the loss of my lightsaber ? I was on a ship.