1000 reasons to hate AOTC and the TPM

http://www.chefelf.com/forums/index.php?showforum=4

Man these people are intense on hating star wars. Man this is just to funny, they are the definition of nitpickers. Go have a look around, i dare ya.

 

Reasons to Hate Star Wars

Episode I (78 Reasons to Hate!)

Episode II (64+ Reasons to Hate!)

Episode III (Coming May 2005!)

Episode IV: Special Edition (12 Nitpicks!)

Episode V: Special Edition (8 Nitpicks!)

Episode VI: Special Edition (17 Nitpicks!)

 

Huh? Trade routes? What kinda plot is that? This sounds more like some boring course in American History than the plot for a Science Fiction movie. Isn't this what started the War of 1812? Is Andrew Jackson going to be in this movie?

Funny stuff.

 

Wow.

The dude who wrote those articles gives a new definition to the words "whiny, negative, unimaginative nitpicker with no sense of suspension of disbelief whatsoever."

While i agreed with some of the flaws he pointed out for TPM (specifically concerning Jar Jar and Anakin) I in no way hate the movie, nor would I sit there and actively take the time to make a list as to why you should hate the movie....that goes for any movie, even if it's the worst movie I've ever seen. That's jsut negative behavior. And I'm not just saying all this cause it's a Star Wars movie that is being bashed...I would say the same for any movie. Why focus on the negative aspects of a movie? Why can't you just say I didn't like it, and move on? Why not direct your energies to a positive outlet, like making a list that contains 78 reasons to LOVE a movie? Why promote such negativity? There's enough negative things in the world without having to point out the flaws of a movie that's not supposed to be logical in the first place, and is an exercise in fantasy? I wonder how this guy can like ANY movie, if he lets every little insignificant detail bug him like it did for TPM. The article just made me sad and pissed me off. It just seems like the author is the type of movie "fan" that I hate...over critical, cynical bastards who only say they like dark and artsy movies like A Clockwork Orange just to come off as being cool and educated. God forbid a movie be postivie, with an optimistic view of the world, and that simply tries to be adventurous and entertaining and asks you to escape into its world. Siiigh. Whatever. I couldn't even finish the PM article, and frankly I don't want to.

Oh, and is that website he posted on supposed to be a "let's bash Star Wars site" or something? It didn't seem to be, it seemed to be a regular SW site. So I don't know why he would go out of his way to post such negative articles on a Star Wars site. It's like the people who come on here and go through the trouble of singing up and coming up with a username and finding an icon, yet simply post with something like "the prequels suck." Why go out of your way to do that if you hate the movie so much? I dunno it doesn't make any sense. But maybe that's just me.

 

Yeah, that was always my issue with bashing. It's not that I don't hate bashers or don't think they have a right to their opinions, but the concept of it all just absolutely baffles me. Why spend my time on something I hate when I could go focus on the positive? But, everyone's different.


Huh? Trade routes? What kinda plot is that? This sounds more like some boring course in American History than the plot for a Science Fiction movie. Isn't this what started the War of 1812? Is Andrew Jackson going to be in this movie?

Funny stuff.

Yeah, considering that the trade route plot is only a cover for the underlying truth of the matter.

 

Well people who complain about the whole trade route thing just didn't get the movie, and not to get the movie means either not to be intelligent or not to have spent the time required and the mental energy required to understand what is really going on. And if someone wants to bash something they don't understand, that says a lot about their intelligence if you ask me.

The entire POINT of the film is to emphasize that the Republic is bogged down by trivial matters like trade routes and that these minor seeds of corruption are ultimately going to be the downfall, and implosion, of this political body. The ineffectiveness of the government of the Republic shows in TPM, which is part of the point of the film. The plot of TPM is actually by far the most intricate of any of the Star Wars movies, so I find it ironic that people call it the most simplistic! The most simplistic is easily ANH, which is a great film but can be reduced to basically Luke wants to be a Jedi, Rebel Alliance triumphs over Empire, war continues. It's not hard to get.

TPM, on the other hand, is still not understood properly 6 years after its release evidently. When someone says that the movie is about trade routes, they don't get it. When someone says the movie is about Anakin as a kid, they are just missing a lot of the plot. It's actually an incredibly complicated film, the most sophisticated of the Saga, and yet it's often called the most childish -- this I have never understood. How can you criticize the movie for its politics, trade routes, and other adult themes, then immediately turn around and criticize it for being childish? That is the most hypocritical and frankly perplexing thing I can imagine.

The way that Palpatine tries to manipulate the political climate in TPM is actually very complicated, behind-the-scenes stuff, whereas understanding the plot of ANH and ESB is simple enough for any child. If anything, they are more childish movies. I don't know many 7-year-olds who could really get the deeper themes of TPM.

 

No, the worst "reason" I read was "Why use lightsabers when you can knock droids over with your hand" and I'm yelling at my monitor "So you don't get shot! Duh!"



After that I stoped reading.

 

Bowen, that post is quite baiting and is just asking for someone to flame you in reply. Remember, we have a rule in the PT forum: We discuss the films, not the fans. Please keep that in mind.

 

Sorry Strilo, I didn't mean it in that way -- I wouldn't assume there are a lot of fans around here like that... Also, I totally understand discussing the films and not the fans, but if you didn't like TPM, you're not a fan of it. I don't like the Red Sox, so you could say I'm not a fan.

I mean, if you hate the prequels and are in the PT forum *shakes head* Nevermind... lol.

 

Bowen, you saw TPM in theatres 50 times?

 

Compared to ESB, TPM has more plot in it's little toe.

 

Okey, that's about...................... NOTHING, the one who ever started that damn site is really LAME.
What a damn sucker you have to be to talk about 'the poor french accent of Nute Gunray'.


I'd like to say to those people "FIND YOURSELF A LIFE!"

 

Eh, the Prequels are just too intellectual for some people to understand...

 

It is shocking to me people like that still claim to be Star Wars fans!

 

Here's a partial list of his complaints and some of my responses:

son #1
The Title
The Phantom Menace is not a good title at all.

I thought, and still do think, it's a great title. It has a saturday matinee and pulp sound to it.


Reason #2
The Trade Federation or opening crawl.

I think the crawl could be simplified. I agree with this complaint.

Reason #3
The Viceroy's Accent
The Viceroy and his assistant seem to be doing poor French accents.

French? I thought it was racist asian caricatures? Seems the PC crowd can't make up their minds. No surprise. I would've liked an alien dialect though.

Reason #4
"I have a bad feeling about this."
It is Obi-Wan's first line. We don't even know what the hell is going on and already he has a bad feeling.

Don't mind this line as the first one. Maybe lets us in on who the bad guys are too soon, but....

Reason #5
"Check it out, Corporal."
An army entirely made of droids I will accept (for the current moment). The fact that they have ranks I will not! How can an army of mechanical objects have ranks?

Huh? How do they have ranks? Easy: this is the GFFA, that's how. There are some things in the films that are there purely to give us some identification with: a droid army with ranks is one of them. It grounds the droids into a human-SW identity. Been there with droids from the beginning in the GFFA.

Reason #6
Qui-Gon's Gross Negligence of the Force
There is a scene where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are blocked from entering the bridge of the ship by blast doors. The Viceroy sees them coming and orders someone to press a button which closes the blast doors. Qui-Gon acts quickly by using his lightsaber to begin cutting away a hole in the door. This goes on for some time and is ultimately unsuccessful. My question is this: Why doesn't he use the force to press the button that would open the doors? Much the same way Luke throws a rock to try to hit a button in Return of the Jedi, Qui-Gon seems to have a brief memory lapse that prevents him from remembering that the Force could easily solve his immediate problems.

Now this is pointless. Their ship has just been blown up and you want him to pick the lock? These are Jedi, c'mon! Use the saber!

Reason #7
The Viceroy's Lips
The Viceroy and his ridiculous assistant man's lips never match up with their dialogue.

This does bug a little, but for different reasons. I'd just like to see an alien dialect when they're talking among one another and basic when speaking to others. No biggie.

Reason #8
"Exsqueeze me?"

Eh, I think it's cute. A little balance to the invasion.

Reason #9
Jar Jar Binks

I like Jar Jar. True, perhaps he did too much. A little levity goes a long way. However, he does balance out some of the more serious moments in TPM much like 3PO and R2 did in the OT. You need the light with the heavy, otherwise it's just boring and heavy-handed.


Reason #10
J.U.B.A.
At one point Jar Jar informs the Jedi that his city is underwater. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan immediately whip out these dandy little Jedi Underwater Breathing Apparatuses and dive in. Why is it that every time a ship has a damaged hyperdrive (happens in almost every film) they never have the tools to repair it... on a GIANT starship? Yet anytime there's any obstacle in a single character's way they always seem to have a grappling hook, a set of binoculars or a mysterious underwater breathing device no bigger than a ham sandwich. While we're on the subject, where the hell did Obi-Wan get that training droid in Episode IV? Did Han Solo have one on board the Millennium Falcon

This complaint seems to indicate to me that he has a problem with the enite saga, not just TPM. Too bad.

The answer to why they have Aquate breathers: when you go hiking don't you pack for it? Do you bring certain items with you? The Jedi knew they were heading towards Naboo. Likely they looked at a map and saw it had some water(lakes,rivers, etc) and so planned for

 

How can you criticize the movie for its politics, trade routes, and other adult themes, then immediately turn around and criticize it for being childish?

Because they are explained and treated in a childish manner. 14 year old elected queens? Votes of no confidence that apparently occur as soon as the motion is made rather than, you know, with an actual vote? Taking immensely tedious adult themes like C-SPAN debates and converting them over for children to understand isn't deep and complex, it's just wacky and, given the way they're treated in TPM, pretty insulting to kids. It reminds me of Model U.N. which is so boring that, let me go out on a limb here a little bit, it will never ever form the basis of a movie ever in the history of Western civilization.

The Phantom Menace is a kid's movie. Pretending that there is some immensely convoluted undercurrent of adult themes in the film simply ignores its reality, which is all about Jar Jar tripping over things and Anakin being baby Jesus. A few sinister smirks from Palpatine do not Lawrence of Arabia make.

 

Because they are explained and treated in a childish manner. 14 year old elected queens? Votes of no confidence that apparently occur as soon as the motion is made rather than, you know, with an actual vote?

read a history book to find out how a Vote of No Confidence Works. As for a 14 year old elected queen, how about a 55 year old former crack head redneck with business ties to terrorists and the Saudi Royal Family? I'd choose the girl.

 

14 year old elected queens?

The people making this complaint obviously don't know jack about the history of our own planet. For example, Alexander the Great took the throne at the age of 20 and didn't waste much time in conquering everything in sight. Before him, King Tut took the throne around the ripe old age of EIGHT/NINE!

Fourteen is nothing compared to the Tutster.

 

Like Strilo said, let's remember the "films/fan" rule. This thread should be discussion and whether or not you agree with this list, or a part of this list (and why). Not as to what you think of people who agree/disagree with this list.

 

Wasn't the last Emperor of China some little squirt too?

And the Queen of Naboo isn't a real queen anyway. She's just a symbol of past royalty. Naboo is a democracy, with the Queen acting more as a president and the council as the administration.

 

Yes, but he did not have full imperial powers until he was married (thus fully an adult). China was surrendered from his control without his knowledge or approval because of this.

 

I was gonna try to email that jerk but it would never get a response and I need to vent. Here goes:

a good number of his complaints for AOTC are based on him not understanding the plot. Jango was leading the Jedi to Kamino, it was a trap. How else would the Jedi use their new army and the war begin if they didn't know about it. So of course Jango hired an inept bounty hunter to try and kill Padme. It is so frustrating to hear people make complaints against these movies because they don't understand them, and there is no way currently to digitally bitch slap somebody.

*leaves to file for patent for a digital bitch slap*

I think it is a credit to GL's writing that Sidious' plot is so complex that some viewers miss it completly despite having the knowledge of episodes 4,5,and 6.

 

I'm not making a statement on the quality of the movie, but I can sum up the plot of ESB in 3 words:


"Vader chases Luke"


Now try that with TPM or AOTC...

 

the prequels are more complex is that a reason to hate something?

 

Now try that with TPM or AOTC...

TPM: "Qui-Gon finds Anakin"

AOTC: "Anakin's a brat"

Oh yeah...I pulled it off.