Beyond - Legends 13/9/09. Some girls dreams... .

Title:Some Girls Dreams Don't Come True. Some Girls Just Don't Deserve Them Too.
Author: Lady_WinterCelchu
Timeframe:After NJO. AU.
Characters: Jacen Solo, OC'S.
Keywords:AU. Unbetaed.
Summary: Jacen Solo loses the one he refuses to love. Knowing that she loves him. Can he realise he loves her too and get her back?
Notes I only own the characters of Nadzieja Iczkiewicz and Kathryn Parsons. And any other OC's that may appear. The rest belongs to George Lucas and the Authors.

Notes 2: This fic can be a oneshot or can be finished as a dhort story. Please tell me if you wish me to continue because i won't if no ones interested as im not completely satisfied with it.

This was written just so that i can begin finishing my other fics after a bad case of DWB. An evil plot bunny jumped in my dreams and i couldn't resist.





They were right; they were all right. If Jacen Solo didn?t want her love, to kriff with him. Let him wallow in his guilt for the rest of his life. Heck, let him paint the word Martyr on his head and get it over with. She had a job to do, and she was going to do it. She had a year to get through and then she would finally go home.
It sounded so easy in her head. It was so very, very hard to do in real life.

She had made it through two whole days. There was only half an hour before she could go home, before she could stop worrying about ignoring the comments made by the staff. Could stop worrying that that she would run into Jacen somewhere and humiliate herself again. She was standing by the turbolift and helping a parent up to the paediatrics unit when she got stopped.

?Oh, gods no,? came her heartfelt yet resigned reply.
It was the same nurse who had stopped her in the medwards messhall. Kathryn Parsons. Blocking the turbolifts doors, arms crossed around her lithe figure.

? Oh, yes,? she came her reply, her tone firm and for whatever reason brooked no chance for an argument.
Yet, Nadzieja still shook her head, tried to push her aside.
?No,? Nadia insisted. ?Not again, Find somebody else, girlfriend. I am not welcome near that family.?
The nurse simply looked at her and said, ?his little girl is staying here.?
This brought Nadia up short, shocked her enough so that she stopped trying to get past her colleague.
Nadia, after weeks of pain, finally held some hope within. Then she saw the look in Kathryn?s eyes and knew that somehow this was not good news. Nadia was not used to seeing Kathryn Parsons scared. It scared her now.

Instead of allowing her fears to show in either her tone or expression Nadia assured her, ?letting her stay is a good thing. ?
?That?s not the problem,? Came the instant reply.
Nadzieja sighed, ?How did I know you were going to say that.? She tried unsuccessfully to quell the pain building in her chest. ?All right,? She said, ? Then what is it??

?It?s Jacen Solo?? Kathryn managed. Wringing her hands nervously. As if trying to squeeze out the reality of an indescribable problem. ? He had an appointment to talk to the medwards social worker and didn?t come back. I?m really worried about him.?

?Have you tried to find him?? Nadia asked
?I know where he is.? The nurse replied.
?I was afraid you were going to tell me that too. What do you want from me??
If anything Kathryn looked even more anxious and unsure of herself now. She couldn?t seem to keep still, the movement only served to heighten Nadia?s uneasiness.
?Somebody needs to talk to him.? She insisted. I think something happened to him when he talked to those people. Something??
?Something what? ?Nadia knew her voice was harsh and unmoving. She didn?t really care.
Her colleague, the nurse faced her. ? I don?t know. It?s like he?s reached the end of his sanity. He?s? he?s? Kathryn paused then tried again, ? He?s falling apart.

Jacen Solo who prided himself for being able to keep a Jedi?s calmness about himself at all times an almost unmoveable calm. Falling apart?
Yet, she knew that if Kathry

 

You HAVE to write more! I admit, I'm a little confused...but I imagine you'll clear that up. More, please! This is very good so far.

Jes

 

Wait...what? Is Jacen an adult or a kid? I'm very confused...of course, it could be the lack of sleep kicking in.

 

Jes
You HAVE to write more!

Thank you and just for that enthusiasm i am very tempted too.
I admit, I'm a little confused...but I imagine you'll clear that up.

I'll try to clear it up . Feel free to Pm me with any questions if i can answer them i will.


More, please! This is very good so far.

Thank You!

Wow i 've got to say its good to see people reading this. I was worrie my writing would be really bad after so long.

 

Laura_Anu

Wait...what? Is Jacen an adult or a kid? I'm very confused...of course, it could be the lack of sleep kicking in.

Thanks for reading this. Confusion is not necessarily bad at this stage but agin ill reiterate feel free to ask any questions.

Jacen is an Adult now. It's a while after NJO so he's early 30's now..

 

This is very good!!! Please continue!!

 

Thanks Nat!!!




Alright here we go but a note to begin with. Thank You very much to my gorgeous Beta Kyps_Godess. Love ya Katy!





Some Girls Dreams Don't Come True. Some Girls Just Don't Deserve Them Too.
Post 2.

To her astonishment it actually opened.



She simply couldn?t imagine letting herself walk away and chance that someone walk in on this rage. Especially if the person who was allowing someone walk in on him was Jacen Solo.
Not that she would have recognised him!

Dear Force, she thought, He?s? he?s?
But she couldn?t even put words to it. It was as if all the pain she was feeling in her heart, he had succumbed to. As he had splintered into a million sharp pieces oh shrapnel and pain rained down upon the small confines of the room.

There was debris everywhere. Some idiot had left a pile of dirty dishes from the cafeteria up here, and Jace had thoroughly demolished them. He?d hurled a lamp at the wall and from the way it was broken she could tell that he hadn?t use the force to throw it. Although, he had evidently let loose a force storm as several objects where strewn around the room, objects that would have not been possible to move physically. And now he stood in the middle of the room panting. With tears on his face.

Tears.
Nadia swore her heart stopped beating.
She couldn?t take her eyes off him. His face was ravaged, Old and sallow, as if he?d aged twenty years over the last two days. She could hear the wind rasping in his lungs. Almost as if he had ran up the stairs hauling weights that he could not physically manage to hold. She could see his body tremble, as if the emotion in him was seeping out of every pore.

She didn?t know what to say. Didn?t know what to do.
So she locked the door behind her, and then she walked up to him. And as gently as if he was one of her patients, she wrapped herself around Jacen Solo and brought his head down to her shoulder.
He stiffened; he struggled; he fought her.
She simply held on.

?You don?t? you don?t even know?? He rasped, his voice breaking her heart that much more. ?? Why I?m??

?I don?t need to,? she whispered, and edged them towards the corner in the room that held the bed. ? Is Inara alright??
?She?s here. She?s right here where you wanted. You should be happy. You should be satisfied. She?s safe from me now.? He answered accusingly, though at whom the accusations were aimed she did not know.

Nadia never let go of him. Even as she stripped of the shard covered blanket from the bed. She didn?t say another word to him as she eased Jacen down on it, so his back was facing the wall. So she could hold him in her arms and soothe him. So that she could soothe herslef with the solid feel of him in her arms, here where she could help him.

She felt the hitch in his breath. The terrible struggle to maintain control when it just seemed too much to of a burden to bear. Her heart had started again. She knew because every breathe she forced through her lungs felt like a vibro balde had sliced thorugh them and a searing heat was all that was left.

She shouldn?t be here. She should just leave him and let him face it alone. She simply couldn?t survive when she helped him again and he walked away form her. Again.
She didn?t leave.

?What happened,? she asked, holding onto him more tightly.



Ok there we go . I will send pm's out later

 

The terrible struggle to maintain control when it just seemed too much to of a burden to bear.
This line just jumped out at me because it's so much what I've been trying to say in my story but haven't been able to yet. You just helped me out in a HUGE way.

Yes, that's my way of saying that I LOVED the line.

And I want to know what happened!!! You'll be back with more soon, right?

Jes

 

Thanks Jes

there will be more after my exams. My first AS level begins on Monday so...

I will post a teaser during the week though.

 

That post was so sweet!! And soooo sad . . . I wonder what happened to Jacen.

 

Ooooo, I'm curious as to what happened! Hopefully you'll tell us soon...

 

Thanks Nat and Laura _Anu

Like i said i will post up a teaser next week hopefully....

Im cruel still keeping everyone wanting. dun dun dun..

 

Yes, you are.

 

up

 

as you already know i think this is a wicked fic
but just to let you know you can pm me the next post to beta as im back at uni now and can get to a computer!!!

keep it up honey

kt

 

Thanks very much Katy!!

I just had the worst possible day of exams in my life today so to cheer myself up im posting the teaser i promised would go up. My Beta will edit it at a later date. Please be nice i will cry if you're not. Not that im trying to guilt or anything but i just need cheering up thats all.

please review. I will post up the actual chapter at some point in the next week and a half.











Some Girls Dreams Don't Come True. Some Girls Just Don't Deserve Them Too.
Teaser for Post 3.

?What happened,? she asked, holding onto him more tightly.



?What happened?? he echoed, trying to pull away. ?What happened?Just what I thought would happen.?
?You let Inara stay?? barely believing she had said that aloud she receieved an answer.
?I let her stay, and they came after me, They came after me and accused me accused me??

Nadia pulled back just far enough to face him. ?Tell me,? she commanded.
?You should know,? he accused her, his eyes his eyes harsh and completely unforgiving. ? You of all people should know what they accused me of in there.?
She held eye contact with him albeit rather painfully. ?You mean that
A percentage of girls with eating disorders have suffered sexual abuse.?

 

WHAT??????? AHHHH! NO! So...I think I'm confused, but you're going to clear everything up later, I'm sure . I haven't seen eating disorders or anything like that explored in a fic yet, so I'm excited to see where this goes!

Sorry about your bad day...here's a little cheer:

 

Exams totally suck, I'm sorry Hmm, interesting, VERY interesting . . .

 

Oh my goodness! Wow...did not see that coming!

Look forward to the post....

Jes

 

Laura_Anu

WHAT??????? AHHHH! NO! So...I think I'm confused, but you're going to clear everything up later, I'm sure .

I'm being deliberatley confusing for the time being. I will add little bits of background information each time i post.



I haven't seen eating disorders or anything like that explored in a fic yet, so I'm excited to see where this goes!

Neither have i and i thought it was such an important thing to know about that i would at least try. So here it is. My first go at such a hard and diverse topic. You'll all have to tell me how im doing cause im making it up as i go along. well not the factual stuff but the fiction.

Sorry about your bad day...here's a little cheer:

Thanks I needed that!




Nat

Exams totally suck, I'm sorry Hmm, interesting, VERY interesting . . .


Thanks Nat and intersting you say. Why so?



Jes


Oh my goodness! Wow...did not see that coming!

Is that good. Oh and if you didn't see that coming wait to see what happens next!


Look forward to the post....

Thanks and there will be one here soon.

 

YES! that's a good thing. This is wonderful.

Jes

 

Thanks Jes and the next post is with my beta so i'll get it up as soon as i get back!

 

Alright here it is. With a nGreat big thanks to my beta Kyps_Godess.


Some Girls Dreams Don't Come True. Some Girls Just Don't Deserve Them Too.
Post 3.

?What happened,? she asked, holding onto him more tightly.

?What happened?? he echoed, trying to pull away. ?What happened?Just what I thought would happen.?
?You let Inara stay?? barely believing she had said that aloud she receieved an answer.
?I let her stay, and they came after me, They came after me and accused me accused me??

Nadia pulled back just far enough to face him. ?Tell me,? she commanded.
?You should know,? he accused her, his eyes his eyes harsh and completely unforgiving. ? You of all people should know what they accused me of in there.?
She held eye contact with him albeit rather painfully. ?You mean that
A percentage of girls with eating disorders have suffered sexual abuse.?

?They asked me!? He spat. ?They asked me, in that damn concerned voice they perfect so well, could I tell them anything to help? Did I have a healthy relationship with my little girl? Did my feelings towards her change after my wife died? They wanted me to tell them I?d hurt her! Abused her! They accused me of something that unspeakable and you knew they would!?

Emotions warring within her she barely heard her own reply, ?They had to, Jacen. You know they had to. How could you ask them to overlook something that might help Inara heal.?
?Not that!? Jacen spat at her again, ?Not that I?d hurt my little girl!?

?I?m sorry, Jace. I didn?t think it would bother you, because I knew you?d never hurt her. So telling you seemed a moot point.? She said with little real apology in her voice. Nadia loved this man and would not apologise for believing in him.

?You knew!? He echoed, his voice so tight it?s shrillness scared her. She could not see how he was holding onto his sanity. She could not see why this had upset him so.
?Are you sure you knew?? He demanded of her whilst shaking her hard. ?Are you absolutely sure? Are you sure you didn?t want them to admit that I?d hurt her? That I?d hurt Inara? Hurt my Danni?s baby? You didn?t want that?

It was her turn for shock now.? Of course not Jacen! It was all in the information chip I gave you. I thought you?d read it and understood it. I told you. I could never believe you would do anything to hurt Inara.?

He laughed then. It was not a humourous laugh but was so filled with bitter self loathing and pain that tears gathered in her eyes. Tears which she would not let fall. Could not let fall. Then he shoved her backwards so that she fell off the bed.
?Well, isn?t that the best joke of all,? he said with another terrible, harsh laugh.? You know why??
?No.? She managed, holding very still, suddenly so very afraid.
?Because for all of your blind faith, young doctor,? he snarled, crouched down over her, ?you were wrong.?
?I don?t believe you, Jace.?

Nadia thought she had never seen such anguish on a human?s face.
?You thought everything would be fine once she got treatment here. You thought they would just pat her on the head point her to a gym and everything would be okay. You didn?t think they cause any more hurt to us. Didn?t you??
He was shouting now, curled so tightly around her that she was frightened. Her heart was stumbling around inside her like something wild, she couldn?t seem to breathe. She didn?t know what to do. How to answer him.
?Jacen, they just want to talk?.?
?They want to know ? Everything! Well, I?ll give you everything, Nadia. I?ll give it to you since you poked and prodded and pushed us to this point.? And then, his face so close, the poison spilling out of him in a torrent, he did just that. ?I did hurt Inara, Nadia. I hurt her in a way I can never forgive. I hurt her so badly that it?ll take the rest of my life to make up for it.?
?Jacen, You didn?t??
?I did! I know it, they know it, and now you know it. Remember that drunk driver who killed Inara?s mother? That unforgiveable piece of sithspawn who was so selfish and so c

 

?Well, meet that son of a sith, Nadia. I was the drunk driver that killed my wife.?
*eyes wide*

Force!!! I really didn't see that coming! No wonder he's acting the way he is...

What are you going to do to him? Arrest him, make him go nuts? (though he seems a little on the edge right now)

Wow!!!!


Let me know when you want chapter 4 up. I'm actually ahead. Thats a new one for me.
Um, now?

Jes

 

Alright just for you Jes!

And im sorry it's so short.



Some Girls Dreams Don't Come True. Some Girls Just Don't Deserve Them Too.
Post 4.



Nadia froze. Literally. Stunned, silent, shivering. Crouched against the wall in the smallest ball she could manage.
She tried to speak. She couldn?t. She tried to breathe and didn?t do much better. She simply couldn?t push the air she needed past the grief that had lodged in her chest. Pat the lump in her throat. She tried to close her eyes and couldn?t. She felt as if she was simply imploding, and she didn?t know what to do about it. She didn?t know what to do about Jacen.
She didn?t know what to do for Jacen.

He just stood there, tears coursing down his cheeks and soaking his shirt, fists clenched, face ragged, back bowed. She could hear the rasp of his breathing. She could see the unbearable strain on him, Could almost taste the self-loathing on him.
Oh force, she thought over and over again. Oh, force.

And then, before she realised what she was doing, she was on her feet. She was reaching out to him, because she couldn?t survive his pain when it kept her apart from him.
?Oh, Jacen,? she whispered. ?Oh, Jace, I?m so sorry.
He pushed at her again. He straightened. Then he glared.
? No!? He demanded, the breathe catching somewhere on the way to his throat.?No! Don?t you dare comfort me! Don?t you dare? Don?t you understand? I murdered my wife, damn it! Don?t you dare try and tell me that it doesn?t matter!?

?Of course it matters,? She retorted, toe to toe with him. ?It obviously matters so much that you?ve completely changed your life to atone for it.?

?Atone!? he demanded, leaning in again, fierce furious and so very fragile. ?You think I can atone for something like that? You think I can ever make up for what I did to her??
He gasped, as if he simply didn?t have the strength for what he had to say. He said it anyway, his eyes as black as a void, his hands shaking where they fisted at his side.
?She tried to get my keys. Even had them once, just until I took them back again. I was the one in charge. I had to be in control of the speeder.?

Nadia could do little more then shake her head. ?I?m sorry.?
?Yeah,? he said, the anathema thick on his tongue. ?So am I. I used it have a family. Now I only have a wife who exists in a holovid on my wall and a little girl who?s paying for my sins by starving herself to death. And I have a mission. ?

?A mission?? Nadia asked confusion evident in her voice.