Awards 2001 Fanfiction Awards Ceremony

Hey, shouldn't we have a musical number at some point? I can do something... I'm not a vocal performance major for nothing! Any requests?

 

The winner, with over twice as many votes as its closest competition, is Shackled Past!


Now we move into the always-funny Best Humor category! [Waits for laughter, is greeted by the sound of chirping crickets, watches as a tumbleweed blows through the thread]

[Clears throat, tries again] So, have you heard the one about the Bothan and the Ewok? [Dodges hail of slightly overripe produce]


Getting back to buisness...

Unlike the race for best romance categories, this category really was close, though it wasn?t the closest.

A Day in the Life of Emperor Palpatine by Gandolf the Grey
A Night to (Almost) Remember
A Week With The Skywalkers/Solos" by Darth_Fruitcake
Optional Retirement by Orion_Star

 

YAY! At last a fic I didn't lurk on. Congratulations RM! Shackled Past is definitely one of my all time favorites!

 

Yay, RebelMom!!!!

What a fantastic story, from a great author!

 

Congratulations, RebelMom!!!!! Way to go!!!

::AQ stolls over to the desserts section of the buffet and see's fudge, cake, brownies, and mini-Almond Joy candy bars. She grabs a small plate and fills it up. Grabbing a cup of punch, she heads back over to the SOTTOT table::

Yum!

AQ

 

"Shacked Past" eh?

Hmm, I seem to vaguely remember that story.

Congrats RM!!!

 

*slinks in and sits cross-legged on the floor* Just want to watch. Unlike others, I know I wasn't nominated, for obvious reasons. *cough* I'm a terrible writer! *cough*

But I can't wait to see who wins what! Congrats to everyone who's won something so far!

 

[A berserk warrior wearing nothing but blue battle paint, carrying his might axe, hews his way up onto the podium]

RRAAAAARRRGGGGGG!

I, Gandalf_Postmangler, a mighty Vjiking warrior unfettered by the bonds of cjivilization, come not pjillage this thread wreak havoc! No sir! Postmangler has come to make a special presentation to See you Soon by Amidala_Skywalker.

This fjic was voted for as both a short story and as a vignette, even though it was of short story length. However, to Postmanglers amazement (and that of Gandolf as well!) it received more votes for best vignette than any other fjic! While these votes had to be disqualified, this worthy fic receives the first ever Postmangler award, for causing poor Gandolf the most headaches!

 

LOL!!!!


Congratulations, Am! What an honor!

 

Yea, I'm not the only person in the world who's heard of Caractucus! *glares from all around, Mcily shuts up*

 

*arrives late in silver chariot drawn by white horses; glides to balcony seat wearing silver velvet sleeveless column dress with indecently high side slit, and moonstone tiara; leans back in seat to observe the mere mortals*

 

Time for either an award or an entertainer...

 

I see that my Vjiking twin has been here. I step out for five minutes, and shesh! sigh



Considering that A Day in the Life of Emperor Palpatine is a vignette, I'll just post the entire thing.

---

A day in the life of Emperor Palpatine

9:14am: Wake up from pleasant dream. I had been dreaming that I ruled the better part of the galaxy, that I could destroy a world on a whim.
9:15am: Remember that I do control the better part of the galaxy, and that I can destroy a world on a whim.
9:25am: Get up, look in mirror. I come to the harsh realization that I look like a moldy prune.
9:30am: Ask slave girl if the fact that I look like a moldy prune makes me any less incredibly sexy and desirable.
9:32am: Am displeased with slave girls answer. Kill her for insubordination.
9:34am: Summon in another slave girl, ask her the same question. She tells me that she?s never met anyone sexier, that she dreams about me every night. Excellent; I still have that suave sexiness that woman crave.
9:46am: Get foot massage from slave girl.
9:55am: Get dressed. Decide to wear black robes today. Realize that I?ve worn black robes every day for the last twenty years. Consider wearing something pink. Eventually discard idea; perhaps tomorrow.
10:00am: Eat breakfast. Decide that the meat isn?t enough. Order the chef.
10:31am: Picking bits of chef out of teeth. Consider brushing my teeth. Decide against it; don?t want to ruin winning smile.
10:58am: Proceed to throne room for audience with Lord Vader.
11:17am: Stub toe, release anger by frying random servant. That will teach him.
11:20am: Arrive in throne room. Get settled in throne. Make a mental note to get more cushions added to it.
11:30am: Lord Vader and Prince Xixor enter throne room. Goad the two on.
11:34am: Pick my nose when neither is watching.
11:40am: Break into their petty bickering to make vague ominous comments.
11:50am: Lord Vader mentions that the hunt for Skywalker is still going. Skywalker? Skywalker? I?ve heard this name before. I?m sure it?s important.
11:52am: Skywalker? Skywalker? Skywalker?
11:55am: Sudden realization: Vader?s original name was Skywalker! Why Vader is searching for himself? Quietly speculate on the state of Lord Vader?s mental health.
11:58am: Dismiss Xixor. Vader has been a valuable servant for quite some time, and I want to spare him any embarrassment over his condition.
12:00pm: Question Vader about Skywalker, trying to determine the extent of his delusions. Realize that Vader isn?t talking about himself, but rather a son. What?! Vader had a son? When was he going to bring this up?!
12:02pm: Tell Vader that I would like to meet the boy. Vader seems nervous somehow.
12:04pm: Vader explains that the boy has joined the Rebellion. What?! People are ill-contented with my gloriously benevolent rule?
12:10pm: Vader explains to me that the rebellion has been going on for quite some time, but that it?s been getting worse since the dissolution of the senate and the destruction of Alderaan.
12:20pm: Ignoring Vader drone on about troop movements, reminiscing fondly over the destruction of Alderaan. Resolve to destroy another planet in the near future.
12:42pm: Dismiss Vader, summon in Admirals. Ask them if what Vader said is true, if there really is a rebellion against my merciful and just reign.
12:49pm: Grand Admiral so-and-so tells me that the people of the galaxy consider me to be a vindictive and arbitrary tyrant. I fry said Grand Admiral with Force lightning. Prove that I really am merciful by sparing the lives of the other Grand Admirals.
12:59pm: Dismiss the Grand Admirals. Decide that I want a stiff drink. Order my minions to bring me freshly squeezed blue milk.
1:09pm: Tell minions that the milk isn?t blue enough. Consider frying random minion for his incompetence, decide that he?s not worth the hassle. Order his shot instead.
1:15pm: Enjoy my blue milk. Wonder why good help is so hard to find.
1:32pm: Sit on my throne and brood.
2:32pm: Still brooding.
3:04pm: Wonder

 

Comes in dressed in a bare back, maroon coloured dress that reaches the ground and quietly joins her coauthoresses.

Sorry I'm late!

Starts showing off her silver and diamond necklaces and earrings

And Yahoo for Shackled Past, the best L/M romance EVER!!! Way to go RM!

Glares at Hermie for forgetting about BOTH Di-Lee's fic and RM's

 

Did someone ask for a musical number? *summons nymph attendents; orders them to perform a song and dance to "Fly Me to the Moon;" thuderous applause *

 

::AQ grabs onto the table to keep from falling out of her chair and wrinkling her dress:: OMG! That was hilarious!!! I totally enjoyed that!!!

AQ

 

And the winner is? A Day in the Life of Emperor Palpatine!

[gives 45 minute long acceptance speech, puts everyone to sleep]


The next category is Best Original Character Story.
The top nominees are:
Everyone comes to Dorans place by Raissa Baiard
Strands Of Time: Test Of Time? by AngelQueen, DarthIshtar, Amidala_Skywalker, LadyKenobi, jade_angel
The Eternal Vow by Sticks and Melyanna






















Oh yeah right!

As if it was even close. Of course Strands of Time: Test of Time blew everything completely out of the water. Many congratulations to AngelQueen, DarthIshtar, Amidala_Skywalker, LadyKenobi and jade_angel! You?ve obviously well earned this!

 

Jairen enters, runs on stage and grabs the mic...

"Clarus Rules!"

Dashes off stage before the Stormtroopers arrive.

 

Well, since this is a dinner award ceremony, I think it's time for the dancing...

*band strikes up "Sentimental Journey" and Mel sings*

 

Congratulations, ladies! It's an awesome story, and you deserve every possible honor for it!!

 

The next category will not appear in the next fanfiction awards show I do due to low voter turnout. As the Postmangler mentioned above, the fic that actually received the most votes for this category was ineligible, and so the award will pass it by.

The next most successful nominees in the Best Vignette category are:
A Day in the Life of Emperor Palpatine by Gandolf the Grey
Dreams Die Hard by Jedi Loren
Red Star by Delight

[cues the Ewok and Wookiee song and dance number]

 

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

We did it!

So now I have nothing else to say so I'm just gonna break something.

Rips chair in front of her from the ground and chucks it towards Postmangler

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

Congratulations Gandolf. Your "A Day in the Life of..." series was hilarious.

Congratulations to Raissa for being nominated for OC, & congrats to SOT:TOT for the landslide. Di-Lee adds this fic to her hopelessly long reading list.

 

::AQ blinks rapidly:: Oh... we won? Wow!!! JA! Come in here and make a speech!

::AQ shoves JA up to the microphone and dashes back to her seat. Before she sits down, she runs back up::

Oh, here's an excerpt!

******

"The hyperdrive generator is gone, Master," Obi-Wan said. "It'll have to be replaced."

Master Qui-Gon nodded grimly. "That'll complicate things. Stay close to the ship and don't let them send any transmissions. I sense a disturbance in the Force."

"I feel it, too, Master," Obi-Wan agreed.

Alia had felt it as well, so strongly that she could barely breathe every time she encountered it. It was like the life was being sucked out of the room, suffocating her, smothering her.

This sensitivity was what prompted Qui-Gon to take her along on their parts-finding mission.

Dressed like a native in heavy leggings, low shoes, and a rough-woven tunic, her parents would not have recognized her. Her hair was done up in a simple braid that wrapped around her head.

Papa had spoken often of this planet. It had been here that he'd grown up and here that he'd first heard about the beautiful Princess Leia. It was here that he had taken on Tusken Raiders and met Ben Kenobi, the legendary Jedi Knight. It was here that he had met Uncle Han and Chewie for the first time.

There were more stories than her eight-year-old mind could count, but he had never taken her to visit. She never asked why, because she knew she wouldn't like the answers.

But walking across the desert with Padmé, Master Qui-Gon, and the reptile-man named Jar-Jar, she could definitely understand why anyone else would decide to stay away from here.

Jar-Jar put it best when he lamented, "Da sun is doin' murder to mesa skin."

Qui-Gon kept a running commentary, explaining various things in Tatooine society, but Alia was focused on something entirely different, such as the abundance of open air.

"We'll try one of the smaller junk dealers."

A webbed hand gave her a gentle nudge and she followed Master Qui-Gon into a nearby shop, the rear brought up by Jar-Jar.

A Toydarian flitted past, speaking in rapid Huttese, then heavily accented English.

The shop was like a giant playroom, filled with droids and parts that she had grown up taking apart and rewiring, with or without her parents' permission. She could spend all day in here.

Too taken with her surroundings, Alia didn't notice the tow-headed boy until he nearly ran into her.

"Sorry," he chirped, pushing past to talk with the Toydarian.

Another weirdly familiar face. This time, he looked like holo's she had seen of Papa as a boy, with the same intense blue eyes and mop of blonde hair, even down to the firm set of his chin.

"Are you an angel?"

Alia stifled a giggle and settled down to hide among the pit droids, her eyes just high enough to see Padmé.

"A what?!"

"An angel," the boy repeated. "I heard the spacers talking about them. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe. They live on the moons of Iego...I think."

Urban legend. Didn't they know anything out here? The angels of Iego had been written off as a hallucination thirty years ago by those who knew better than to believe everything a freight-hauler's assistant told them.

"My mom and I were sold to Gardulla the Hutt, but she lost us betting on the podraces."

Padmé's eyes widened in horror. "You're a slave?"

The boy's eyes narrowed in annoyance. He had obviously had this conversation before. "I'm a person and my name is Anakin."

Alia's head snapped up. What?

She was sitting in a shop full of antiquated droids, waiting for a Jedi Master she'd never seen before this trip to come back, and a boy just older than her named Anakin was talking to a girl that could have been her family.

"Holy Hothballs," she mumbled.

I've time-traveled.

I'm watching Grandma and Grandpa meet for the first time.

The idea was ridiculous, of course. Everyone knew that time-travel was impossible.

But the Force indicated

 

*Stands and applauds*

Congrats to the winners!