2010 Non-Star Wars Fanfiction Awards Ceremony

List of Winners

Genre

Best Alternative Universe
[Twilight] Desert Rose by Lady_Tahiri

Best Canon (tie)
[Star Trek] Cherished Moments by Jade_eyes
[Star Trek] What A Lovely Way To Burn by Mira Jade

Best Action
[A:TLA] Heart of Fire by MasterGhandalf

Best Drama
[HP] Slave Child by Kriztin

Best Romance
[Star Trek 2009] What A Lovely Way to Burn by Mira_Jade

Best Humor
[Sweeney Todd] Fixing Things Up by Qui-Gon_Reborn

Best All Around
[Star Trek] What A Lovely Way To Burn by Mira Jade

Style

Most Underrated
[Delta Green/Call of Cthulhu] Summer in the City by Darth_Bliss

Best Response to a Challenge
[Harry Potter] Conversion? by MsLanna

Best Songfic (tie)
[Star Trek] Always by Ceillean
[HP] My Life Would Suck Without You by Miana Kenobi

Best Poem
[Star Trek 2009] All You Mean to Me by Jade_eyes

Best Crossover
[Dr. Who/Firefly] The Man With No Name by Frostfyre

Best Vignette (tie)
[Harry Potter] Lilies and Petunias by Miana Kenobi
[Merlin] Etchings in Silver by Jedi-Ant
[HP] Dirt by FelsGoddess

Best Short Story
[Twilight] Desert Rose by Lady_Tahiri

Best Epic
[HP] Slave Child by Krizten

Best Series
[A:TLA] Heart of Fire and [A:TLA] Path of Fire by MasterGhandalf

Character

Best Canon Interpretation, Male
Severus Snape in [Harry Potter] Life's Little Cruelties by ardavenport

Best Canon Interpretation, Female
Nyota Uhura in [link=http://boards.theforce.net/non_star_wars_fan_fiction/b10808/30662158/p1/?

 

Upon walking through the doors labeled "Awards -NSWFF" into the weathered building with the "IGN"" sign, one would see a neat array of tables laid out in a pattern discernible only to the most observant of eyes. One would note how it gave off a sophisticated ambiance, with suave purple carpeting, and lights just bright enough to not be considered dim. With any luck, one would be quite impressed by how shiny and new everything was: neat, polished tables, straight-backed chairs with cushions that matched the carpeting, and a lovely stage centered at the back of the room.

The whole room, even as it slowly began to fill with an odd assortment of people, practically reeked of sophistication and organization, in odd contrast to the IGN building, which looked like it was going to fall apart at any moment. This was the place to be on a fine August noon, and anyone who objected to that clearly had not a sense of class whatsoever.

And backstage, it was chaos.

"Where is Krusty?" amidalachick demanded. "The ceremony's starting in less than an hour!"

Thumper09 sighed and pointed across the room. "He's over there. We're having a little issue."

Idrelle_Miocovani and TheMacUnleashed were standing in front of Krusty the Clown, who was slumped in a director's chair with a cigar. Thumper and amidalachick joined them.

"What's going on?" amidalachick asked.

"You people told me it was the NSFW awards," Krusty grumbled. "I brought all my best Not-Safe-For-Work material!"

"No, we told you quite clearly it was Non-Star Wars Fanfic," Idrelle said firmly. "Anyway, you're a professional entertainer. Go out there and improvise!"

"Lady, you ain't paying me enough to improvise," Krusty argued. He stood up abruptly. "In fact, I quit!"

He stormed off. The Awards team looked at each other.

"I guess I'll have to do the opening remarks," amidalachick said, consulting a list in her hand. "At least everything else is taken care of...right? Idri, is the entertainment ready to be launched??

?Yes, ma?am!? Idrelle_Miocovani saluted and held up a manila folder. "The paper stuff's in here, and the performers are waiting for my command."

?Good.? Amidalachick glanced at the next item on her list. "Mac, it says here that you're in charge of the music. Did you get the classical pieces for the introductions?"

TheMacUnleashed winced slightly as she fingered a small flash drive. "Oh, you said classical? I thought it was classic. As in, classic rock and all. Sorry.?

Amidalachick sighed. ?Is it Board-appropriate??

?As long as you don?t listen to, or think about, the lyrics.?

?Good enough. And Katie, you?ll be ushering our guests to their places??

?Yes I will.? The fanfictioner better known as Thumper09 pushed aside the thick read curtain separating backstage from, well, the stage. ?It?ll start filling up any minute now.?

?Right. And we?ve got to be ready.? She slammed the notebook shut for emphasis, and was slightly disappointed when it only made a soft ?whoosh.? ?Are there any questions? No? Well then, get to your places, everyone!?

 

*arrives in full regalia/uniform*

 

Yay, all set!

 

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER

Amidalachick walked onstage, trying not to trip over her long gown and high heels. She stopped in front of the microphone, nervously tucked a loose bit of hair behind her ear, and began speaking.

"Welcome, everyone, to the first ever Non-Star Wars Fanfiction Awards! A couple of things before we begin the festivities?one, don?t forget to check out the links at the bottom of each presentation piece! Two, our lawyers have asked us to relay the following message to you.

"We do not own, nor do we have any official affiliation with any of the following, which may or may not show up during the coming event: Star Trek (all generations); Doctor Who; Indiana Jones; Beavis and Butthead, House, M.D.; The Simpsons; Avatar: The Last Airbender; Supernatural; Cooking With Julia Childs; Chuck; Heroes; Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; Harry Potter; Lord of the Rings; Everyday with Rachel Ray; Twilight; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Neil Gaiman's Sandman; Castle; Futurama; Scrubs; Firefly; Barney the Vampire Lover; any shows involving crime scene investigators; or The_Face.

"However, after a lengthy debate with lawyers representing DC and Ms. Rowling, it has been determined that the following people do indeed own themselves, and in fact were involved however indirectly with the creation of this ceremony, despite what they might say:

VOLUNTEERS
Idrelle_Miocovani
Thumper09
TheMacUnleashed

ENTERTAINMENT
Idrelle_Miocovani
Qui-Gon_Reborn
FelsGoddess
Mar17swgirl

OVERSEER
LilyHobbitJedi

MODERATORS
Jedi Trace
KELIA
Commander-DWH
mavjade

NOMINEES

Genre

Best Alternative Universe
[Twilight]Desert Rose by Lady_Tahiri
[Star Trek: TNG]Last Chances by Sara_Kenobi
[HP]Slave Child by Kriztin

Best Canon
[Star Trek]What A Lovely Way To Burn by Mira Jade
[Star Trek]Cherished Moments by Jade_eyes
[A:TLA]Path of Fire by MasterGhandalf

Best Action
[A:TLA]Heart of Fire by MasterGhandalf


Best Drama
[Star Trek]as silent stars pay witness by Mira_Jade
[HP]Slave Child by Kriztin


Best Romance
[Harry Potter]Strong by MsLanna
[Star Trek]Cherished Moments by Jade_Eyes
[Star Trek]Ever Yours, with Love by Jade_eyes
[Star Trek 2009]What A Lovely Way to Burn by Mira_Jade

Best Humor
[Sweeney Todd]Fixing Things Up by Qui-Gon_Reborn
[Star Trek]Cherished Moments by Jade_eyes
[HP]Harry Potter and the Zombies by Jedi-Ant
[Twilight]The Shi

 

As the house lights dimmed and the spotlights on the stage brightened, illuminating the podium. The NSWFF ladies ? amidalachick, TheMacUnleashed, Thumper09 and Idrelle_Miocovani ? were crouched in the wings, nervously peeking out at the stage every so often. They were also desperately trying not to crush their identical beautiful, high-class ?NSWFF purple? dresses they had all decided to wear for the occasion (with backup costumes hanging in a closet off-stage, just in case). The audience was murmuring, waiting in anticipation for the first presenters to arrive.

Five minutes ticked by.

Idrelle nervously pushed her glasses up her nose as she stared at the clipboard she was gripping in her hand. ?Where are they??

?No idea,? Mac said. ?Calm down, I?m sure they?ll be here any minute.?

?It?s been five minutes already!?

?Did they check in?? amidalachick asked.

Idrelle flipped through the stack of documents tacked on to her clipboard. She pulled a pencil out of her elegant ? but falling apart ? up-do and used it to help her scan every page at lightning speed. ?Nope,? she said, shaking her head. ?They didn?t check in.?

?Uh oh,? Mac said.

?Maybe it was just a mistake,? Thumper said, trying to sound optimistic. ?You know, they had to come a long way, maybe they got lost and came in through the back door or something.?

Idrelle frantically paced back and forth, nearly trampling an innocent Dobby the House-Elf who was patiently waiting in the wings for some House-Elfin purpose.

?No, no, no,? she said, ?they should be here by now! Maybe we should call the Doctor??

?Why, are you feeling sick?? Mac chirped.

Idrelle fixed her with a look. ?Oh, ha ha.?

?Sorry, you know it had to be said.?

Idrelle rolled her eyes and looked at her clipboard. ?He?s in a time machine,? she said, ?I?m sure he could get here on time ? like, five minutes ago on time ? if we just gave him a call.?

?But obviously that?s not going to happen,? Mac pointed out, ?because if that was going to happen, then it would have happened, five minutes ago, and we wouldn?t be having this conversation. We?d be watching the Doctor present the Best Alternate Universe award? or would we? Because in order for that to happen, we?d need to be having this conversation, otherwise we wouldn?t have phoned the Doctor to tell him to come in early ??

?I think I need more coffee,? Idrelle groaned, finally sitting down. ?The timey-wimey ball of wibbley-wobbliness makes my head hurt.?

?Guys,? amidalachick said, trying to get their attention. Her eyes on the stage.

Mac and Idrelle didn?t hear her.

??so for the Doctor to come present the Best AU award, we?d need two different time streams and frankly, I don?t know who wants to do the paper work for that,? Mac continued, ?and besides, we?re obviously not going to call him because otherwise he?d have arrived five minutes ago??

?No,? Thumper said, ?he?s not coming early because they?re here.?

Mac and Idrelle swung around and stared at the stage. There was a shimmering light and suddenly two men appeared out of nowhere. One had brownish-blonde hair and a ridiculously cocky grin on his face. The other was dark haired with strange, alien features.

The NSWFF team breathed a sigh of relief.

?Sorry that took so long, folks,? Kirk said, approaching the podium and withdrawing an apple from his pocket. ?We had to beam down from the Enterprise and she was way out of the Jedi Council Board?s orbit. Only just got the message now.? He bit into his apple. ?So sorry, guys. You know how it is, we were out on a mission and it?s a little difficult to drop what you?re doing when you?re dealing with Klingons.?

Spock gave him a look. ?Now that the Captain has finished his lengthy apology,? he said pointedly, ?I believe that we have a task to attend to ? the presentation of the first award in the Non-Star Wars Fan Fiction Awards: the Best Alternative Universe award.?

Just as Spock finished speaking, there was another shimmer of light and another two men appeared out of nowhere, apparently beamed down from another ship.

Idrelle, Mac, Th

 

Yeah, Lady_Tahiri!

 

"Congratulations, Lady_Tahiri! And thank you, gentlemen, for the wonderful presenting job. It was just stellar." Mac took the microphone from Kirk's hand and smiled and nodded through the standing ovation that he and Spock received. She glanced around nervously through the second encore, and managed to catch amidalachick's eye.

She raised an eyebrow. Is he here?

Amidalachick shook her head and shrugged helplessly. Improvise.

Mac gave her a sharp nod, and then realized that the applause had stopped, Kirk and Spock were gone, and that the audience was staring at her, wide-eyed and waiting for something to happen.

She took a deep breath and put on her most winning smile. "We had a wonderful bit of entertainment planned -really, it was so entertaining, that... that... well, it was supposed to be really good. Actually, it wasn't really entertainment -it was a group of guest stars, presenters -but it doesn't look like they were able to make it, so I guess that you're sort of stuck with me."

She paused. The audience didn't look impressed. "I could sing..."

No, that hadn't worked. Deciding to forgo an impressive display for the desire of keeping her dignity, she forged on and said, "Our nominees for Best Canon are-"

And then she was interrupted by a creaky, whirring sound, like a very large and old truck backing up. At the same time, something large, rectangular and blue began to materialize onstage.

"My mistake, ladies and gentlemen!" Mac said loudly, trying to be heard above the crowd's gasps. "It appears that they've been able to make it after all. Please remain calm -I assure you, none of our presenters are overly dangerous to your health, as long as you stay seated-"

The door of the now-solid police box swung open, and a head popped out -young-looking, masculine, and attached to a neck that sported a very fine bow-tie. "Ah, here we go! I was hoping we'd get it right on first try -after you, Amy."

A women carefully stepped out first, very conscious of the high-heeled shoes she was wearing. "You didn't say there'd be such a large crowd, Doctor!"

"Didn't I? Ah, well. It isn't like you're going to suddenly go and develop stage fright." The bow-tie-sporting Doctor stepped out and almost shut the door to the TARDIS on the final member, a man who appeared to be about the same age as the woman. "Sorry, Rory."

"Not a problem." Rory tugged at his tie, eyes widening as he took in the seated people. "Blimey, there's a crowd..."

"Yeah, we were just talking about that."

Mac stepped forwards. "May I introduce to you your hosts for the Best Canon Non-Star-Wars Fanfiction Story of 2010: The Doctor..."

"Hi!" He waved and smiled jauntily at the crowd.

"Amy Pond..."

"Glad to be here!" Amy surveyed the crowd, nodding and leaning back, rocking dangerously on her heels.

"...and, last but not least, Rory Williams!"

"Nice to meet you all." The third man gave an awkward little wave.

"Here you go." Mac handed the microphone to Rory and the envelope holding the results for Best Canon over to the Doctor. "Thanks for showing up," she added in an undertone. "We were getting worried..."

"There was an incident in the Travisahn sector. Nothing you'll have to worry about, but it did put us a bit behind schedule. Sorry about that." The Doctor took the envelope and stepped closer to where Amy held the microphone, having seized it from Rory. "Now, let's get down to business -we're all very flattered to be here; ceremonies, I never get tired of ceremonies... and I've heard there's going to be a wonderful party afterward, maybe we'll get to hang around for that...

"Ahem. The nominees for Best Canon are
What A Lovely Way To Burn by Mira Jade, a Star Trek fanfiction-"

"Cherished Moments by Jade_eyes, also in the Star Trek category," Amy said quickly, before the Doctor had a chance to continue.

"And [link=http://boards.theforce.net/non_star_wars_fan_fiction/b10808/3090102

 

[image=http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/Tauriel/Lil_Amy_and_Rory.jpg]

 

Yay, I'm so glad this has started. Thank you to all the wonderful volunteers!!

And congrats to Lady_Tahiri for Best AU!!

Oops, I'm behind - and to the Star Trek queens on their Best Canon win!!

 

Congrats, Lady_Tahiri, Jade_eyes and Mira_Jade!

 

Congrats Lady_Tahiri, Jade_eyes and Mira_Jade!!

 

Once the Doctor and co. had cleared off the stage, it was time for the Best Action Award to be presented. Amidalachick was backstage, fretting.

?I don?t think this is a very good idea. At his age, the body is much frailer than it used to be, and he doesn?t seem to be acknowledging that? not to mention that the pulley system isn?t very good; I don?t think Mac was being serious when she said she had a degree in engineering from MIT??

?She wasn?t, but that?s okay. It?s a decent system anyway.? Idri, her arms full of what looked like baby rabbits, stopped for a moment to calm the frazzled host. ?She found the instructions on the internet, so they have to be good. Besides, Thumper got him to sign the disclaimer, so we aren?t responsible for anything that happens.?

?Still, I would feel bad if anything-? from somewhere onstage there came the sound of shrieking wires, a very human yelp, and a thud that could have been made by many things.

Idri and amidalachick shared a Look, and then hurried to see what was going on, Idri dropping the rabbits on their way there.

?It?s okay,? Mac said quickly, seeing them approach. ?The wires were the wrong type and they didn?t fully support him, but he landed onstage. See? Thumper?s helping him up now.? She pointed to where Thumper indeed was, and thankfully, the guest presenter did look to be in good shape from that distance, although his fedora had fallen off. Thumper handed it to him and then hurried offstage.

?Now that?s what I call an entrance,? Indiana Jones said to the crowd, chest thrust out and a grin on his face, although he was wincing slightly as he stepped over the broken zip-line to the microphone. ?I think I might have broken something, though, so let?s get a move on it, okay?

?Your nominees for Best Action are-?
[A:TLA] Heart of Fire by MasterGhandalf

?And the winner is ? ?

[A:TLA] Heart of Fire by MasterGhandalf

Best Action

 

Harry Potter, Bella Swan, Jack Sparrow, Robin Hood, Gollum and Spock are seated around a table playing poker. Harry?s wand is sitting out of his reach. Robin Hood is on ?Sparrow? watch to keep Jack honest. Gollum has no interest in the actual game. He?s sits in his chair, clutching a handful of chips and crones, ?My precious? repeatedly.

Harry throws down his hand, ?Fold. I hate this game.?

Bella smirks as she pushes another stack of chips into the center of the table, ?I bet $200.?

Spock gives her a long critical look and then lays his cards flat. ?Fold.?

?Hmm, that?s quite a bet, lass. Perhaps you are trying to intimidate us with large sums of money. Or maybe you knew I would figure that out and trying to cause me to match your bet and loose my money. Or perhaps you do have a winning hand,? Jack rambled.

?Are you in or out?? Harry asked.

?In,? Jack said as he tossed chips into the pot.

?I?m-? Robin Hood started, but a loud boom stopped him. Everyone turned to where the noise was coming from. Sybil Trelawney and Alice Cullen fell through the door, arguing loudly.

?Harry?s going to win, ? Alice tossed over to the table, and then looked back at Sybil. ?There is no ?one eye.?

?Yes there is! What do you know? I?ve made better predictions than you!? she snapped.

?I can see the future any time,? Alice scoffed. ?You?ve done what, two premonitions??

The two continued to argue. Harry and Spock rolled their eyes.

?Your powers are completely illogical,? Spock stated to Alice.

?Hey! I don?t make fun of your ears. You don?t make fun of my powers!? she snapped.

?Enough!? Robin Hood said. ?It doesn?t matter.?

There was another loud thump as the door burst open. Merlin, Albus Dumbledore, Dracula, Gandalf and Batman entered. The group was debating the reality of magic and mythological beings. Alice and Sybil immediately started their argument again. While everyone was distracted, Jack sneaked a peak at Bella cards. Bella, upon seeing this, glared at him.

?Stop!? a loud, deep voice called. Everyone froze as a tall, broad shouldered man entered the room.

?Samuel L. Jackson?? Bella said in disbelief. ?What are you doing here??

?I?m Samuel L. Jackson. I?m in everything. It?s not a party until I?m here,? he said, looking completely serious.

?I thought you were Nick Fury,? Batman asked.

?No, he?s Jules Winnfield,? Harry said.

?No, he?s Zeus Carver,? Robin Hood added.

?You?re wrong. He?s Mace Windu,? Gandalf responded.

?Frozone.?

?Neville Flynn.?

?Abel Turner.?

The voices began to overlap. Dumbledore finally called for silence and said.

?He?s Samuel L. Jackson. He?s in everything. Case closed.?

Everyone nodded at the proclamation and turned back to their personal debates. Bella had joined Alice?s side. Batman, Jack and Robin Hood were debating gambling morals. Everyone else was involved in the was magic possible debate.

Everyone, save for Gollum and Harry. Harry looked over at the creature and sighed, ?I fold.?

Gollum just grunted and murmured, ?My precious.?

 

Congrats, MG!!


The entertainment and presenters (and lolNSWFFs)are so awesome!! I especially love the SLJ bit

 

Idrelle walked out on stage in full English Renaissance dress; she was having quite a bit of difficult managing her long skirts and high heels, not to mention a painful corset. After tripping to the middle of the stage, she gave up on trying to reach the podium and summed up all the power of her voice and projected out into the audience.

?It is my great duty,? she announced, ?to hand out the award of Best Drama. There is nothing so dramatic as an actor ? or actress ?? here she gave an illustrious curtsey that almost tipped her over ? ?in period dress, performing Shakespeare. The Bard is the king of drama, so therefore it is appropriate that someone who can attempt?? she wobbled a bit on her high heels ? ?to re-enact his calibre present this very prestigious award.?

She curtseyed again and fell over. Miraculously, she didn?t blush with embarrassment and merely got back up on her feet. A Renaissance-style backdrop picturing a 16th century castle corridor decorated with many bouquets of flowers rolled down behind her. The lighting grew yellow. Cellos and violins played. Mac ? dressed in the blacks of a stage hand ? rushed out and gave Idrelle a handful of flowers: rosemary, pansies, fennel, columbines, rue, daisies and violets.

?Alas,? Idrelle said, ?I am now poor, sweet Ophelia.? She held the fragrant blooms aloft and began to walk across the stage, slowly, toying with the flowers.

?Ophelia? eventually sat down in the centre of the stage, where she started to make beautiful garlands out of the flowers and string them in her hair. All the while, she calmly announced in a mildly sing-song voice: ?The nominees for Best Drama are??

[Star Trek] as silent stars pay witness by Mira_Jade
[HP] Slave Child by Kriztin

The applause died down. ?Ophelia? finished tying the garlands in her hair and stood up. Suddenly, Mac came running across the stage again, this time brandishing a stage broadsword, bringing Thumper in tow.

?DO YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT US, SIR?? she shouted.

?Ophelia? blinked. ?I do bite my thumb, sir,? she said scathingly. ?For you, sir, are in the wrong play!? Dropping her flowers on the stage, she stalked to the centre in a huff. A blue spot-light appeared on her and she disappeared in a puff of smoke as a trapdoor opened under her feet to take her below the stage.

Mac stared at her as she went. ?Do you quarrel, sir?? she muttered. ?I knew this was a bad idea?? Shaking her head and towing her broadsword, she walked off the stage, leaving Thumper alone.

Thumper walked to the podium and took the mic. ?Well,? she said plainly, ?wasn?t that ? er ? dramatic? After all, ?All the world?s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances,? as do NSWFF staff, apparently.? She sighed and shook her head. ?The winner of the Best Drama Award is??

[HP] Slave Child by Kriztin

Best Drama

 

Congrats Kritzen!!

I love the Shakespeare bit

 

Congrats, Jade girls, MG and Kriztin!

That Amy/Rory picture is adorable.

 

[image=http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/Tauriel/JC_Hogwarts_Cup/comic_g16.jpg]

 

"Don't we all dream of finding true love?" Mac asked the crowd philosophically. "Don't we all listen to terrible music about finding 'the one,' and don't we all long to fill up that empty space in our hearts?"

The crowd stared at her. From somewhere in the back, a person -or possibly a robot- yelled, "Nope!"

"Well, for those of you who do, here's the nominees for Best Romance, as presented to you by Carl Fredricksen!"

Applause scattered through the audience as an elderly man made his way across the stage assisted by a walker and an excited-looking Golden Retriever. "I'd like to dedicate this award to Ellie," he announced gruffly. "I know she'd have gotten a kick out of being part of something like this." He cleared his throat and opened the yellow envelope. "Your nominees for Best Romance are-"

"Master, Master! Can I read the nominees?" the dog interrupted, panting cheerfully.

"No, of course not! Dogs can't read. Ahem. As I was saying, the nominees for Best Romance are-"

[Harry Potter] Strong by MsLanna
[Star Trek] Cherished Moments by Jade_Eyes
[Star Trek] Ever Yours, with Love by Jade_eyes
[Star Trek 2009] What A Lovely Way to Burn by Mira_Jade

?And the winner is ??

[Star Trek 2009] What a Lovely Way to Burn by Mira_Jade

Mac watched from backstage with tears in her eyes. "But... it's so romantic!" she sniffed. "He's so dedicated to her, even after all these years, and he'd do anything to help her reach her dreams..."

Thumper gently patted her on the shoulder while carefully maneuvering her away from the curtain. "Best Humour is next. Just keep watching, and I'm sure you'll feel better."

Best Romance

 

Nice comic


Congrats, Mira!!

 

Congratulations to MasterGhandalf, Kriztin, and Mira_Jade!

 

The lights dimmed and a spotlight came on to the podium. The audience waited. Suddenly, there was a drum roll and out of nowhere, a brown-haired boy wearing animal skins jumped into view. He was evidently aiming for a grand entrance, but he somehow miscalculated his mark and smashed into the podium instead of landing behind it.

?? ow,? he said from the floor. Getting up, he took his place from behind the podium, a bright red splotch on his forehead.

?Hi everyone,? he said. ?I?m Sokka of the Water Tribe! Want to hear some jokes? I mean, of course you want to hear some jokes!? He struck a pose and gave a hearty ? but very fake laugh. ?After all, that?s all what humour's about, right, right? And I am Sokka ? the Meat and Sarcasm and Humour Guy!? He suddenly became very serious and pressed a finger to his lips, his eyes roving the audience. ?Be warned,? he said, ?some jokes may cause you to roll over and laugh yourself to the point of exhaustion, because that?s just how dangerous my jokes are?!?

?Oh, Sokka, aren?t you ever going to get on with it?? an annoyed voice said.

A second spotlight swung across the stage, illuminating a girl with long brown hair.

?KATARA!? Sokka screamed, surprised, hiding behind the podium so that only part of his ponytail was visible.

Katara raised an eyebrow. ?Your jokes aren?t even all that good these days,? she said. ?And we were supposed to be in Ba Sing Se about three hours ago.?

?I like his jokes,? a new voice said. A third spotlight appeared on the stage, illuminating a young, black-haired girl ? Toph ? who was sitting in what looked like a pit formed by a trapdoor that was in the process of either going up or going down. Directly behind her, Idrelle was frowning, disliking this use of the stage. She muttered something to herself for a moment and then stalked off. Toph took no notice of her; she was busy playing with a handful of dirt, tossing it back and forth.

Katara gave Toph a look. ?Sokka isn?t here to tell off-beat jokes,? she said, crossing her arms. ?He?s here to present an award??

?Yeah, a humour award,? Toph said, scratching her nose. ?That?s the point. Humour? Award? He better be telling some jokes, otherwise he?s not a very good announcer.?

?Hey, don?t I get any say in this?? Sokka interrupted as Katara opened her mouth to argue.

?No,? a sullen voice said. A fourth spotlight appeared, showing a very moody-looking, black-haired boy with a large scar on his face ? Zuko. ?Just present the stupid award, Sokka, and then we can get going.?

?No, don?t present it!? Toph said eagerly. She picked herself up out of her hole in the stage floor. ?If you don?t, that means that we won?t be able to go to Ba Sing Se! Yay!?

?We?re supposed to visit my Uncle,? Zuko said.

?Oh, stop being so sour, Zuko,? Katara said.

?Don?t I get to say anything at all?? Sokka said, looking a little annoyed. He glanced out at the audience and spread his hands. ?This is me ? Sokka, the Meat and Sarcasm and Unable-to-Get-a-Word-In-Edgewise Guy.?

Toph snorted.

?Well, I?m here to present the Humour Award,? Sokka continued.

Toph groaned. ?Don?t do it!? she said.

?I don?t think Sokka?s going to submit to peer pressure,? Zuko grumbled at her.

?And if I could have some silence on the stage for a moment,? Sokka continued, ?which sometimes isn?t possible, you know how chatty the Team Avatar can be, even Appa is pretty chatty sometimes, and Momo is a complete chatterbox ? uh, have I mentioned how chatty everyone is?? He grinned. ?Anyway, your nominees are??

[Sweeney Todd] Fixing Things Up by Qui-Gon_Reborn
[Star Trek] Cherished Moments by Jade_eyes
[HP] Harry Potter and the Zombies by Jedi-Ant
[Twilight] The Shirtless Test (Him or Me) b

 

?Our next award is Best All Around. It?s the last genre-based award, and we wanted to have a special presenter for you. We tried to book an angel to present it, but unfortunately, they were all too busy smiting. However, we did manage to find one who was able to send his friends to present it, so as it turns out, you?re in luck.? Mac turned around and waved at the other volunteers, beckoning them onstage. ?Please welcome Sam and Dean Winchester, everybody!?

Two tall men, one significantly larger than the other, were led onstage by amidalachick, Thumper, and Idri. Actually, it looked a lot more like they were being manhandled than they were unsure of where to go and needed to be shown, but such subtleties were extremely unimportant in the long run.

The shorter one grabbed the microphone. ?I?d just like to say that we didn?t choose to be hear ?we actually have a lot of other really important things to be doing, like stopping the end of the world from being as nigh as it is?but we owed a few favors and this was less painful than the other options.? He glared, daring somebody to challenge him. No one did.

His taller counterpart took the microphone. ?Thanks for that, Dean. I just wanted to say that the award really represents our lives ?there?s drama, more drama than I?d like, but what can you do; there?s the romance every now and then, though it never lasts long; there?s the action, and all that running away from ghosts and wrathful angels and demons-?

?We get it, Sammy. Our lives suck; no need to display that to the good people.? Dean gave a flirtatious smile to several of the women sitting in the audience; none looked impressed, and it disappeared. ?Now c?mon; that nest of chupacabras isn?t going to eradicate itself, and I don?t care what Castiel said; we don?t owe him any favors nearly as big as this. Not that we aren?t very happy to be here,? he added in a voice that might or might not have been slightly cynical.

Sam regained control of the microphone. ?Your nominees for Best All-Around are??

[Star Trek] What A Lovely Way To Burn by Mira Jade
[Star Trek] as silent stars pay witness by Mira_Jade
[Avatar: The Last Airbender] Guide Me Home by Qwi_Xux
[Star Trek 2009] Enterprising Drabbles by brodiew

Dean snatched the microphone back from Sam, ignoring the look that appeared on his face, which was remarkably similar to that seen in the eyes of a Golden Retriever left out in the rain. "Stop hogging the microphone. The winner is-"

A man in a trench coat suddenly appeared onstage, announced only by a gust of wind that blew the scarlet curtains back, nearly revealing the all of the secret preparations in-progress. The volunteers rushed to hold it down, and, thankfully, succeeded before anything major was revealed.

"Dude!" Dean stepped backwards and glared. "How many times have I told you not to do that?"

"I have lost track." He tilted his head. "Should I have been keeping count?"

Idrielle, being the only one free, hurried onstage. "Good news, everyone! It looks like the angel Mac tried to book was free after all. Please welcome Castiel!"

The audience clapped politely.

"If you could just..." Idri snatched the envelope from Dean and thrust it into Castiel's hands. "The winners..."

Castiel complied, although he still looked mildly confused. Ignoring Dean's muttered "We came all the way from South Dakota for this?" he opened the envelope and read, "The winner of the 2010 NSWFF Best All Around story is..."

[Star Trek] What a Lovely Way to Burn by Mira_Jade

Best All Around

 

The next presenter walked out on stage, a bit hesitantly. He was in his late twenties with wavy dark hair, and he wore a white dress shirt with a pocket full of pens, a grey tie, black pants and Chuck Taylor All-Star shoes. All in all, he looked like he had just stepped out of Weird Al's "White & Nerdy" video.

He flashed an amiable smile at the audience and stepped up to the podium. A tentative tap on the microphone told him it was on, and he raised his hand in greeting. "Hi, everyone. I'm Chuck Bartowski. Wow, it's so cool to be invited to an event like this to actually speak, and not just get shoved to the back room by hysterical people begging me to fix their computer's projection setup RIGHT AWAY because the event is about to start. There are so many people and characters here I never thought I'd meet. And-- hey, I gotta ask--" Chuck shielded his eyes from the spotlight and peered around at the audience. "Is anyone from Dune here? 'Cause me and my best friend Morgan do this awesome Sandworm costume every year for Halloween--"

He was cut off by the clearing of a throat from one of the volunteers offstage. With an apologetic smile, Chuck gathered his note cards and turned back to the audience.

"This next category is for those who, like me, may feel a little underrated at times despite your abilities. This list shows the names of stories that are some of the best-kept secrets. Let's take a look, shall we?"

Chuck samidalachickmed the list of nominees, and something... odd began to happen to him. He stood fixated for an instant while his eyes rolled back in his head slightly, his eyelids drooped and his face muscles twitched. Suddenly he snapped back to the present. Urgency and anxiety fought for control in his expression.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, not now..." he whispered under his breath. Chuck looked back at the crowd, fidgeted, grinned sheepishly and announced the list of nominees as fast as he could.

[Star Trek] 100 Odes of Love by Jade_eyes
[A:TLA] Fall of the Fire Empire by MasterGhandalf
[Delta Green/Call of Cthulhu] Summer in the City by Darth_Bliss

?And the winner is ??

[Delta Green/Call of Cthulhu] Summer in the City by Darth_Bliss

Best Most Underrated