JCC 2017 Celebrity Deadpool (Winner: VadersLaMent!)

GO AWAY 2017!

 

He died at age 111 and 1 day, 1 hour and 1 minute after his birth. Okay, I made up the hour and minute, but it's a lot of 1.

 

I was born on the third of March at 3:00pm. Shame the Nintendo Switch has such an ill-fated launch on that day this year.

 

Gene Cernan, last person to walk on the moon.

 

/\ That is very sad as he was a very cool and humble guy in interviews over the years. But, it's also very sad that he was the last and now he's gone. No one has been back. Emblematic of the loss of vision in our country.

 

He wasn't the last man living who's walked on the moon. But it won't be long before they're all dead.

 

He's one of the astronauts we met when my daughter was in the Sally Ride Science Club for Girls. She's got lots of great autographs.

 

Somehow Buzz Aldrin will outlive us all. There he will stand, at the heat death of the universe, and he will sing the song the ushers in the final annihilation of everything we can comprehend:

 

Buzz is still a great space advocate. Corresponded with him a few times and he is tireless.

 

Maybe it also happened to be at 11:11?

 

RIP Colo the Gorilla, the first gorilla to be born in a zoo, who passed away peacefully in her sleep at the age of 60 (20 years longer than captive gorillas usually live).

https://www.yahoo.com/news/60-old-gorilla-1st-born-zoo-dies-ohio-152712621.html

 

FFS.

 

How is that a celebrity? How, Ghost? Did I miss the biopic where the ever transformative Meryl Streep played her? Did she compete with Harper Lee for "least books published relative to the book's impact"?

 

So...what body part are we pulling out for Colo?

 

She's the first gorilla born in a zoo, and one of the longest-living. Would you rather I create a separate thread?

 

I'm generally ambivalent on the "Yay and verily yonder celebrity must past this thy bar of noteworthiness" thing but I'm inclined to agree that "gorilla known only for being born in a zoo" is pushing it, man; did we need that update? Who cares? Do you care? Why do you care? Is this a Harambe thing?

 

Ay, Harambe...

 

The sight is dismal;
And our affairs from our zoos come too late:
The ears are senseless that should give us hearing,
To tell him his commandment is fulfill'd,
That Harambe and e'en Colo are dead:
Where should we have our thanks?

 

I never got the Harambe thing.

It was in my national news feed, it made me sad, and I thought it was worth sharing because I never knew a gorilla in captivity could live that long or that the first one to be born in a zoo was still around.

 

Yeah, but this thread is for celebrities, man.

 

A popular dog in my neighborhood died earlier. **** you, 2017!

 

Yeah. The literal title is "Celebrity Deadpool".

Now, since you're confused about this in the same way a newborn is confused about engineering:

"Celebrity
noun
A famous person, especially in entertainment or sport."

Let's break this down Ghost.

Famous? An adjective which indicates the subject is widely known about by many people (which is a simple definition and not a Trump tweet. Sad!)
Person? No
Especially? It's just an adverb used to single something out. Settle down.
In? A preposition expressing the situation of something that is or appears to be enclosed or surrounded by something else.
Entertainment? The act of providing amusement, usually in a regulated or commercial context. MAYBE.
Or? A conjunction linking the preceding and following nouns.
Sport? A system of regulated contest between individuals or teams.

Contingent on the celebrity, however, is the connection between the state of being famous, and it being for entertainment and sport. If an animal entertains, in the cruel confines of a zoo, but is not well known for it, then they emphatically do not qualify.

Since during sweet Coco (can we say dicks out for Coco?)'s lifetime, she wasn't famous, she cannot be a celebrity.

Note: In searching through the various online dictionary definitions of celebrity, I could find no definition that included whether or not it inexplicably made Ghost sad, or popped up in his news feed. Therefore, it doesn't qualify.

My advice, Ghost, would be, vis a vis this thread:

If you're unsure, don't.
If you're unsure if you're unsure, don't.
If you're sure you're unsure, don't.
If you're unsure you're sure, don't.
If you're sure you're sure, ask.

Yes, someone could beat you to the scoop on the latter but that is risk that, quite frankly, I'm willing to take.

 

Hello, I just said how this gorilla was famous. Is it a perfect fit for this thread? No. What thread would you rather I posted it in?