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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga - OT Only A Dream (vignette, 4 ABY, Anakin Skywalker)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ViariSkywalker, Apr 19, 2006.

  1. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Kessel Run Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2002
    Title: Only A Dream
    Author: ViariSkywalker
    Timeframe: after ROTJ
    Characters: Anakin Skywalker
    Genre: angst, vignette
    Summary: Sometime after the Battle of Endor, the two sides of Anakin Skywalker must be reconciled in a dream.

    A/N: This vignette just came on me when I was at work doing pretty much nothing. It's been calling to me from the middle of my fanfic scrap paper pile. Forgive any unpolished parts. The story would not let itself go unposted any longer. :p

    Feedback is, of course, welcome and greatly appreciated!

    ***
    Only A Dream


    You know you are dreaming.

    You know this because in the dream you are a man, and everyone calls you Anakin Skywalker. It doesn’t matter that in the part of your mind that knows this is a dream you are repeating over and over, “I'm not Anakin Skywalker, I can't be, I can't be..." It doesn't matter that you've renounced him completely. It doesn’t matter because no one believes you anyway, and you don’t even believe yourself.

    There are voices in the dream. They whisper about things hidden and too painful to dwell on. They whisper as though they realize who you are and are trying to conceal themselves. You hear them faintly, but you don’t know any of them.

    Only that’s not true because there is one voice you recognize, or at least you think you do. It’s been a lifetime since you heard it, and you don’t dare hope that it could be her. You’re not sure if you really know her voice, but in a deep part of your soul you know she’s always been there. And you are Anakin Skywalker, and she is calling to you through a mist of time and sin and regret.

    She’s saying she’s sorry. She’s sorry she wasn’t strong enough.

    She’s sorry she couldn’t stay with you.

    And in the dream and for real you forgive her because you know it was never her fault things turned out this way. You are Anakin Skywalker, and you did this to yourself.

    That truth chokes you, and yet you revel in it. You are glad it is true. The part of you that swears you are not Anakin is rejoicing in your failure, in Anakin’s failure. That part of you refuses to believe that he is a part of you. But your fall from grace still hits you as hard as it did the day you betrayed the Jedi, bringing you to your knees as you cry a generation of tears. And though this is only a dream, you wish you really could be Anakin so that you could undo every treacherous and evil deed and not have to live with the consequences of a life marred by darkness.

    Then suddenly you are not Anakin Skywalker anymore. You are the person of your waking life; you have the body that has become so familiar to you over the last two decades. You knew you would wake up eventually. You always do. So when you hear the whisper of a footstep behind you, of course it can't be him.

    You turn around.

    That's when you realize you are still in the dream. Because Anakin Skywalker shouldn't be standing there, face to face with you, as separate from you as any other person. He shouldn't be holding his hands out like that, as if he's pleading with you to come back to him, to accept him, to make him a part of you. He shouldn't be smiling sadly, as though he understands the pain you've endured all these years.

    The rage you’ve carried within you breaks free as you launch yourself at him. You beat your fists against his chest and curse him in every tongue you know, swearing with each blow that you won't stop until he is driven from existence. You wait for him to hit you back, but all he does is grab your wrists and keep you from continuing your assault. You want to fight and kill and scream and die, but he is holding you now, whispering something you can’t hear. At first you refuse to listen. You growl, hiss, seethe, spit...you do everything in your power to enrage him, to make him worthy of your hatred, to make him guilty of his crimes against you. But he just holds you, drawing close so that you can hear him.

    Finally you stop struggling, and you hear the words he’s been whispering over and over:

    “I’m sorry, Leia. I’m so sorry…”

    And then you wake up, and you are Leia Organa once more. You tell yourself it was only a dream and that you’ll never forgive him. But you know it isn’t true.

    ***

    The End
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2023
  2. jaina_clan_solo

    jaina_clan_solo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2005
    :eek: =D= Very nice! I was expecting this to be a reconciliation of Anakin and Vader... joining them back into Anakin Skywalker...

    I was not expecting it to end as Leia's dream... but that just made it even more powerful.

    You did a wonderful job with this! :D

    jcs
     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Oh wow! :eek:

    This was absolutely...I don't have the words, so I'll just say AMAZING!

    And in the dream and for real you forgive her because you know it was never her fault things turned out this way. You are Anakin Skywalker, and you did this to yourself.

    That truth chokes you, and yet you revel in it. You are glad it is true. The part of you that swears you are not Anakin is rejoicing in your failure, in Anakin?s failure. That part of you refuses to believe that he is a part of you. But your fall from grace still hits you as hard as it did the day you betrayed the Jedi, bringing you to your knees as you cry a generation of tears. And though this is only a dream, you wish you really could be Anakin so that you could undo every treacherous and evil deed and not have to live with the consequences of a life marred by darkness.



    :_| That's where I got teary.

    =D= Absolutely gorgeous! =D=
     
  4. Bri_Windstar

    Bri_Windstar Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 27, 2002
    Viiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! [:D] [:D]

    I [face_love] it! And I love you for the parallels! PARALLELS! :eek: :D I know you and I have talked about that fun little Anakin/Leia dynamic in the past, so I won't repeat myself. I'll just say I love how seamlessly this flows together, and how scary it is that the two characters can bleed into each other so completely.

    How awesome to see you on the boards. I hope you're well! [:D]

    Edit: Forgot to mention my fav part!

    That truth chokes you, and yet you revel in it. You are glad it is true. The part of you that swears you are not Anakin is rejoicing in your failure, in Anakin?s failure. That part of you refuses to believe that he is a part of you.

    Although I guess why it's my fav would be obvious after reading my former rambling. :p
     
  5. Imperial-Hippy

    Imperial-Hippy Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 15, 2006
    WOW! i love the way you did this, the writing style is great and really works well for this vig.

    very suprising end i was deffently not expecting that.

    Very very well done, great insight. =D=
     
  6. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Kessel Run Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2002
    Replies!

    jaina_clan_solo - Very nice! I was expecting this to be a reconciliation of Anakin and Vader... joining them back into Anakin Skywalker...

    I was not expecting it to end as Leia's dream... but that just made it even more powerful.


    --Yeah, that summary was tricky to word without giving it away. And how to do it when it's already past ROTJ and Vader has already become Anakin again...but in a way it's still Anakin and Vader being reconciled...it's just Leia doing the reconciling!

    I'm glad my methods of trickery worked!

    VaderLVR64 - This was absolutely...I don't have the words, so I'll just say AMAZING!

    -- [face_blush] Thankies!

    That's where I got teary.

    Absolutely gorgeous!


    --Tears?! Wow...what a compliment! [face_dancing]

    Bri_Windstar - Briiiiiii! You found it! :p

    And I love you for the parallels! PARALLELS! I know you and I have talked about that fun little Anakin/Leia dynamic in the past, so I won't repeat myself. I'll just say I love how seamlessly this flows together, and how scary it is that the two characters can bleed into each other so completely.

    --I knew you'd like it. ;) [face_mischief] Now just wait until we get to some Vader/Leia angst in the DFC!

    Forgot to mention my fav part!

    That truth chokes you, and yet you revel in it. You are glad it is true. The part of you that swears you are not Anakin is rejoicing in your failure, in Anakin?s failure. That part of you refuses to believe that he is a part of you.


    --You know, that was the hardest passage for me to write. It took me a while before I was comfortable with how it flowed. I'm so happy that everyone seems to like that passage in particular. :)

    Although I guess why it's my fav would be obvious after reading my former rambling.

    --Yep. ;)

    Imperial-Hippy - WOW! i love the way you did this, the writing style is great and really works well for this vig.

    very suprising end i was deffently not expecting that.

    Very very well done, great insight.


    --Thanks! I have read a few things that use that point of view, so I decided to give it a try. It's pretty nifty to write using that style. Almost makes me feel like I am the character. Glad you were surprised by the ending!

    Thanks everyone for commenting! I greatly appreciate the feedback! :D



     
  7. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    Oh. My. Word.

    That was simply amazing! (And written in 2nd person no less)
    You had me fooled, thinking it was Vader. I had to go back and read it again and it was still amazing knowing who it was that time.

    Bravo! =D=
     
  8. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    I was surprised that it was Leia dreaming. Very good though. It was a good look at an internal reconciliation.
     
  9. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Kessel Run Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2002
    Jade_Pilot - Oh. My. Word.

    That was simply amazing! (And written in 2nd person no less)
    You had me fooled, thinking it was Vader. I had to go back and read it again and it was still amazing knowing who it was that time.


    --Thank you! I found that I really enjoyed writing in 2nd person. And I'm happy to see that it still retains its believability when Leia is the one having the dream. :)

    Mom - I was surprised that it was Leia dreaming. Very good though. It was a good look at an internal reconciliation.

    --Thanks Mom! Glad you liked it! :D


     
  10. Araxie

    Araxie Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2006
    very nice and with a great ending. Wow, good job.
     
  11. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Wow, really interesting!
     
  12. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Whoa - that was really intense.

    I actually thought this was Vader/Anakin's dream instead of Leia's.

    Nice twist

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  13. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Kessel Run Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2002
    Araxie - very nice and with a great ending. Wow, good job.

    --Thanks! I was hoping the ending would please. ;)

    DarthIshtar - Wow, really interesting!

    --Thank you very much! :)

    KELIA - Whoa - that was really intense.

    I actually thought this was Vader/Anakin's dream instead of Leia's.

    Nice twist


    --Glad you liked it! I was really trying to conceal who was having the dream all the way to the end. :)