Story [24/Miracle on 34th Street] Miracle on 24th Street -- Response to Holiday Crossover Challenge

Miracle on 24th Street


Author?s Note: Standard disclaimer, I don?t own any of these characters or make any money from this, et cetera. This work is a crossover between the TV series ?24? and the holiday classic ?Miracle on 34th Street,? in accordance with the Holiday Challenge. This doesn?t take place during any particular season, and also, it?s not really all that funny. Sorry, guys, Jack Bauer is incapable of funny when he?s working.

Characters: Jack Bauer ? CTU Agent
Chloe O?Brian ? Jack?s contact and support when he?s in the field
Bill Buchanan ? Director of CTU Los Angeles
Wayne Palmer ? President of the United States
Tom Lennox ? Chief of Staff for President Palmer
Kris Kringle ? Suspected terrorist who insists he?s Santa Claus
Doris Walker ? Macy?s executive

The Premise: For the last 23 hours, Jack Bauer has been on the trail of a suspected terrorist calling himself ?Kris Kringle.? CTU traced Kringle?s cell phone to the original Macy?s store in New York City, inside which the man has barricaded himself. Jack and an NYPD SWAT team have the building surrounded and are preparing to move in and take down their target?.


11:00 pm ? Jack Bauer made a final check of his gear. He wore a standard SWAT vest, but disdained the helmet as unnecessary and an annoyance. His earpiece was snuggled securely into his ear, and he could hear quiet chatter over the channel as the team split up and spread out to surround the building. They wouldn?t move for a few more minutes yet.

A chill breeze picked up speed through the canyons formed by tall buildings clustered together, carrying with it the scent of snow. Bauer shivered slightly under the light jacket he wore, going over the case one last time in his mind. All the evidence they?d gathered in the last 23 hours pointed to the man they were about to apprehend, but much of it was circumstantial, and it didn?t sit right with Jack. Something deep inside told him this was the wrong play. The problem was, it was the only play they had left. At midnight, unless the terrorist was caught, a deadly bacteria ? genetically modified as a biological weapon ? would be released somewhere in New York City.

11:05 pm ? Animated Christmas displays were spread throughout the Macy?s store on 34th, motionless and silent now. The store was usually open until midnight on Christmas Eve, but the police had evacuated all the last-minute shoppers over an hour ago. The entire city was under a curfew; no one was to leave their homes.

A rotund and open-faced man scowled in the darkness, pulling the red cap, trimmed in white fur, from his head. Mopping his brow with a handkerchief, he began to pace, wondering if the police actually expected the population to stay indoors. Sure, most people might, but there would be plenty who would ignore the orders. Even now, while he was trapped in a building surrounded by cops, people would be moving about. If the authorities weren?t careful, they?d incite a full-scale panic.

The fat man replaced his hat and stalked down a back hallway leading to the security area. An entire room had been given over to monitors that showed a myriad of scenes from all over the store, inside and out. Suddenly, the exterior cameras cut out, and a third of the screens went blank.

11:12 pm ? At CTU in Los Angeles, Chloe O?Brian stared at her computer screen in disbelief. New information on what was already the strangest case she?d ever worked had just come up, a result of some of her off-book meddling. She hadn?t expected anything to come up. A few more keystrokes verified what she?d found: the cell phone they?d been tracking had been cloned. There was the barest chance that this ?Kris Kringle? was, in fact, innocent.

She glanced up at the glass walls of the Director?s office, torn. Chloe knew she was supposed to tell Buchanan first, but time was of the essence. Looking around, the rest of her team busy at their computers, she picked up the phone and dialed.

11:19 pm ? Tom Lennox, Chief of Staff for President Way

 

?I would ease your burden if I could, Jack, but no man can walk another?s path for him. It?s yours to carry, and I suspect you know that. All I can give you is what you already have, tucked away and hidden from everyone ? the hope that one day, there will be a world that doesn?t need men like you."

Perfect.

Jack Bauer doesn't get a traditionally happy, fluffy, perfect Hallmark card Christmas, but what you give him in this story feels very right - very in character and very well written.

 

Nicely done! Great job!

 

I'm not familiar with 24, but this is a terrific piece of work and a joy to read.

 

Aww, this is really good!! I love the end It's very nice, leaving Jack's relationship with his daughter up in teh air (I don't know much about him, but it seems that an ending like that suits him). I also love that you put the time in there

 

Great story! I don't know 24 and only vaguely remember 'Miracle', but I didn't need to to enjoy it and all the action.

You built a great plot

 

Howdy again, all! I thought I'd wait until after the deadline for the challenge had passed before doing replies to comments, so here there are!

karebear214: Thank you! That part was a bit of inspiration, it just totally flowed, and in truth, I'm kinda proud of it. I wanted Jack to get a semi-happy ending, for once... Not your traditional Christmas-y warm fuzzies, but as you pointed out, a saccharin-sweet ending would have been wholly inappropriate. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reviewing!

Miana Kenobi: Thanks for reading! Glad you liked it!

Idrelle_Miocovani: If you ever get a chance, I highly recommend checking out the show. (Used video stores might have full seasons available; that's how I got seasons 2 through 5. Or your local library might have them, as well, if you're not sure you want to actually own your own copy.) I could go on at great length, but suffice it to say 24 has something for everyone -- except comedy. Not a lot of comedic moments. Anyway, it's good to know I can still communicate the general idea, even if someone is not overly familiar with the series. Thank you for reading!

NYCitygurl: Yeah, that's one of the main plot points in 24. Even if Kim never shows up, she's mentioned at least once or twice in any given season, and the general idea is that her relationship with Jack is rocky, at best. I thought it was appropriate to mention, this being a Christmas-related piece. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Seremela: Truth be told, I don't think I've ever seen "Miracle" all the way through. At least not at one viewing. And even then, it's been a while, which is why most of my focus was on the 24 end of things.

I really appreciate that y'all took the time to read and comment, and am glad that I could provide something that was enjoyable. I honestly wasn't quite sure how good (or not) this piece was -- being somewhat of a perfectionist, I'm rarely satisfied with anything I write, so it's really good for me to know what other people think.

To those of you who read and didn't comment, thank you for reading at any rate. I always appreciate any comments or reviews, and am more or less open to constructive criticism. If there's anything you didn't like, feel free to PM me for further discussion, or even post here.

Thanks again, y'all!