Daala, you are such a pain: Why We Don't Take Daala Seriously (Invincible Spoilers)

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So: [i]Invincible[/i] has revealed that the GA's new Chief of State is none other than Natasi Daala, that frizzy-haired maniac who once plotted to blow up every star in the galaxy but failed because she had the IQ of your average slice of gouda (with apologies to any posters who are in fact pieces of cheese).

It's a puzzling move.

I've noticed that quite a few people don't realize just how puzzling it is, however; this is entirely understandable, as she appeared in a mere four books prior to this February's [i]Revelation[/i] (five, counting [i]Death Star[/i]) and these books are, with good reason, largely avoided.

So, in the interests of enlightening those who've never had Daala inflicted upon them, plus having a few laughs, I decided to go and poke through the [i]Jedi Academy Trilogy[/i] and [i]Darksaber[/i] again, and pick out some quotes that illustrate why so many of us fans think Daala is, as Han once so eloquently put it, such a pain.

I'm not gonna do this all at once, though; I'll go by theme. Part I follows below.

 

I've yet to read Invincible, but I think I can safely say that when I first heard of this news I found it possibly the most ridiculous idea I had ever heard from a SW book. I'm looking forward to this.

 

6 if you count planet of twilight but go on. Sorry for the interuption.

 

Ooh, looking forward to this. I haven't read any of Daala's prior appearances in years.

 

Excellent. (presses tips of fingers together)

 

I think that, rather than do parts, per say, I'm just gonna list Reasons Why Daala Probably Ought Not Be Trusted With Anything More Complex Than An Ant Farm Let Alone The Galactic Alliance.

REASON #1: SHE HAS A GIGANTIC VICTIM COMPLEX

First off, I want to address Daala's massive victim complex, since this is pretty much the most well-known bit of her character-- and the only one that made it into LotF, it seems.

As everyone knows, Daala's murderous ambitions were quashed by the mean sexist men at Carida, who couldn't bear to let a girl into their clubhouse.

Which sounds vaguely reasonable, until you consider that, for starters, Daala is essentially the sole source of information regarding systematic gender discrimination in the Empire, and boy does she like playing the victim.

For example:

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More than a decade ago Daala had arrived at Maw Installation with her hair cropped short and bristly, part of the humiliation the Imperial military academy inflicted upon female candidates.[hr][/blockquote]
Yes, that's right: those meanies only shaved the heads of the women. Men, on the other hand, are allowed to grow their tresses as long as they damn well please:
[image=http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b93/tripzero/haircut.png]

Hilariously, it's also quite possible that she joined the wrong branch of service: we've never seen naval cadets get their heads shaved, and Carida is, after all, first and foremost a [i]stormtrooper[/i] academy.

Whatever branch of service she joined, Daala's experiences on Carida made her hypersensitive to people dissing her. It ranged from minor things, like getting pissy when other people ID ships for her...
[blockquote][hr]"A Corellian Corvette, Admiral," Kratas said, as if Daala could not identify it herself.[hr][/blockquote]
To kinda not-so-minor things, like gruesomely murdering people under her command because they might possibly have maybe been thinking mean things about her.
[blockquote][hr]Only months after the completion of Maw Installation, Daala had noticed a malaise creeping through the personnel. Part of it was because of her, she was sure; commanded by the only female flag officer, assigned to baby-sit a bunch of scientists in the most protected spot in the galaxy, the troops had grown lax. But a few graphic executions and continual threats kept Daala's crew constantly on edge, honing their skills and making it inconceivable for them to shirk their duties.[hr][/blockquote]
Daala's so sensitive, in fact, that one of her favorite past times seems to be thinking about how mean the people on Carida were to her.

This happens pretty much every other chapter, but here's a fairly typical example of her musings...
[blockquote][hr]But because she was a woman, and because female officers were extremely rare in Imperial military service, the Caridan academy assigned Daala to difficult, thankless jobs, while they promoted the less talented men--men she herself had bested time and again--into positions of authority.[hr][/blockquote]
Oddly, we never hear of what exactly it was that she bested her classmates at, time and time again; she has vague recollections of computer-simulated wargames, but we're not told exactly what these involve.

Apparently this is how she met Tarkin; he spent several months, in fact, hunting her down, as she used an alias to "wargame" on the "networks."

One wonders what exactly this wargaming involved, and whether Tarkin spent those several months tracing the identity of one "redheadedimphottie19".

 

*looks around*

Not sure where part one is, but meh...I'll giver 'er a go.

I will say that marriage/cohabitation and parenthood have been known to change people. Sometimes profoundly. But I was unaware of the pharmacological value of these institutions when treating an anti-social psychopath.



Cause it sure as kark didn't work for Jacen Solo.

Ahem...sorry. That was slightly more sarcastic than I intended.

I'll have to go through the books again in the next couple of days...there's bound to be some golden Daala moments in there.

CJM


EDIT: Apologies...I just posted and realized that part one was there.

 

I look forward to seeing more from this thread.

 

I demand someone make a sock of "redheadedimphottie19" asap.

 

Yeah, I know... but some material treats pilot training as different from that of regular naval officers, who manage (to my knowledge) to escape getting a buzzcut. I'd suggest that he got did a couple semesters with the stormtroopers, like Shira and her friend did, and that's why he got his head shaved; except that the guys on Prefsbelt IV got buzzcuts too... except that they didn't.

 

To be fair Trip, this is a nice subversion of Star Trek's heavy handed exposition.

*Spock appears on the view screen*

Riker: It's a Vulcan sir.
Pichard: *tth* Errr, DUH.

Actually, wouldn't a bigger problem is she seems to conduct executions for SLOTH?



Man, someone isn't of the "peel some potatos" school of discipline.

To be fair, hasn't she been alone without orders for 9 years?

That's another thing to wonder about.

You think she'd send a radio message at some point.

 

This thread rocks. Someone needs to point the Star Wars editors here.

 

Good question, Charles, and I think it ties into this...

REASON #2: SHE ADORES TARKIN

And not just for his dreamy eyes or rock-solid abs. No, Daala, to her credit, loves Tarkin for who he is; that is, a sociopathic mass-murderer:

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They became lovers, two like minds, hard in spirit and unforgiving. Though he was older than she, Tarkin had a power and a charisma that Daala admired. Gaunt and tireless in his quiet viciousness, he had a self-confidence so great that he did not flinch even in the presence of Darth Vader.[hr][/blockquote]
Yeah... I dunno about any of y'all, but "quiet viciousness" isn't really something I look for in a lover...

[blockquote][hr]Tarkin had placed a hand on her shoulders, squeezing with a grip made of steel cords. "Daala," he said, "I am giving you enough power to turn any planet to slag."[hr][/blockquote]
I guess it makes sense for Daala, though; basically, genocide gets her off.

Tarkin is more than just her lover, though. He's her hero, her surrogate father, her personal [i]god[/i], basically. You know how Ben wears a "What Would Shevu Do?" bracelet in [i]Revelation[/i]? That's nothing compared to Daala.

Which is why she stays in the Maw for ten years without trying to contact anyone: Tarkin said to sit, and stay, so Daala does.

She's not big on the whole initiative thing.

I'd put quotes for just how much the Huffster means to her, but, well... it's fairly dull; just a lot of "Tarkin had rescued her from obscurity" and "she owed Tarkin everything" and "Tarkin would be mad at her if he saw what she'd done" and blah blah blah.

So instead I'll leave you for tonight with this little gem...
[blockquote][hr]Beneath their armor the two guards were well built and attractive; but Daala had not taken a lover since Grand Moff Tarkin. After him fantasizing had been enough.[hr][/blockquote]
...ew.

 

Looking at Tarkin and then the following fling with Bobby Fett, I'd say what really gets Daala's rocks off is amoral sociopaths who don't value human life.

 

You know, that's one of those little details from that series that I think I blocked out of my memory. After all, remembering the broad strokes is bad enough.

Excited by genocide, obsessed with her own victimization, lacking decent initiative or intelligence, and thinks that wrinkly, creepy Tarkin is sexual perfection...yeah, that sounds like Daala's brand of crazy alright. And now this lady leads the majority of the galaxy with the ok of our heroes.

Now THAT's scary.

 

Almost everything in LotF, Mando subplot aside IMO, was the most ridiculous thing ever in a SW book.

I like the idea of Daala being the CoS tho. No guaranteed peace for the next 100 years, even tho prior to her getting the job I had preferred that peace so the Big 3 & Lando could do that graceful aging thingy. Anyways, lets see what crazy thing Daala & her Mandos are going to do next!

 

Mando subplot aside IMO

Oh, trust me, that was pretty ridiculous.

 

Did Invincible elaborate/outright say that Daala & Fett, uh, did it in Revelation?

 

But if it didn't say they did, neither does it say they didn't.....

Ladies and gentlemen...Please prepare your barf bags....

 

Yeah, this decision seems to have come from someone waaaaaaay out past the Rishi Maze.

I mean, seriously......A woman who was a major pain for a lot of people back in the day shows up with a fleet that really has no type of legitimate government backing it...making it a glorified pirate fleet or mercenary fleet. Said fleet has very strange weapons that appear to be brutally efficient at destroying ships in such a way that it is unlikely any of the crews will survive. To aid her, she enlists the help of a band of mercenaries that have also given that galaxy major headaches from time to time.

The problem is, there are not many viable candidates at this point in time. Heck, maybe various factions felt it better to put her in the position so they could at least keep an eye on what she was doing. Knowing that she had a decent sized fleet and the loyalty of the surviving Palleaon Moffs perhaps fear of her trying to take the post by force was enough to just hand it over to her peacefully.

 

I think they could have found someone else. Is there some reason the new head had to be a "name" in the universe as is? Yes I'm sure the best choice was a psychotic mass murderer... If they can drop Daala in at the eighth book and use her why not just add 50 pages to the too short invincible and introduce a new character? But yeah I guess the Star Wars universe is so forgiving that the admiral that went around annihilating colonies and killing Moffs is the universally best choice.

 

I've not read past Tempest yet, but why is it a ridiculous idea? She was written by Kevin Anderson -- an author who writes for kids. Every single book, comic and short story is written for teens. She had one cameo by Hambly, and you base an entire character on one man's style of prose?

That's not on. Is there no redemption? Did you not forgive Calrissian for his Bespin betrayal?

And AndersonDaala was last seen DECADES AGO. Can a person not change in such a vast span of time?

Besides, call me a seer, heh, but I absolutely anticipated this would happen, so ha in your Litty faces. That she would return in the books, and assume some sort of high chair command.

Spooky . . . not the first time I've seen something by Troy that I privately would have done myself. How does he/we do that/this