Story [Doctor Who/Crossovers] The Drabbles of Doom - 4/30: Zodin's Song

This thread is where I will post most of my Doctor Who drabbles -- those I can, anyway -- that aren't crossovers with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel (which will be in those shows' thread). Most of these are not crossovers, though there will be some scattered throughout.

As of April 14, 2009, I've posted crossovers with:


Animaniacs
Are You Being Served?
The Avengers
Batman: The Animated Series
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Brave New World
Cartoon Planet
The Clangers
Cold Comfort Farm
Dawson's Creek
Discworld
The Far Side
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Flash Gordon
Frasier
Men in Black
Muppets Tonight!
Peanuts
Pinocchio
The Pretender
Quatermass
Remington Steele
Sherlock Holmes
Star Trek
Superman: The Animated Series
Tiny Toon Adventures
The X-Files

---

To start, here is the very first drabble I ever wrote for any fandom. Though set during "The Green Death" (1973), it's a follow-up to an earlier story....


Title: The Controller Man Can
Doctor: Third
Setting: Late in "The Green Death"
Originally Posted: 2 April, 1997


The Doctor called Jo into the hall. "Remember the Dalek-run future? On the way to Metebelis, I visited an old friend from the 22nd century."

"Who?" Jo asked.

"The Controller."

"He's alive?"

"Of course. When time changed, his death at the hands of the Daleks was erased."

"How is he?"

"With no Daleks, he went into another business. He owns a candy shop."

Jo laughed.

"Anyway, I brought you back something." He held out a small bag.

Jo reached inside and pulled out a small red confection. "Jelly babies!" she giggled.

"I know how much you like them."

"Thanks, Doctor."

 

A couple days later, I tried one with various companions of the past.


Title: Presents
Originally Posted: 4 April, 1997

"Now that I've cured Lazar's Disease, can I have my clothes back?"

"I will find them, Mistress," a voice said. Nyssa looked behind her at a small mechanical dog.

"What's that?" she wondered.

"I don't know. It was in a box in the corridor."

* * *

Peri looked up as the device wheeled into the room.

"By the demons!" Yrcanos screamed.

"I am not a demon. I am K9."

* * *

"What will we do with it here?" Troilus asked.

"I don't know," Vicki admitted.

* * *

The Doctor adjusted his white fedora. "To whom should I send you?" he asked, addressing the crate before him.

 

THese are awesome! Nothing like DW drabbles. How many of them do you have?

 

At present, 304, but there will be a few that I won't be able to post here (mostly for the "real person" rule).

 

Title: Come With Me
Setting: Really late in "Earthshock"
Originally Posted: 12 April, 1997


"Now I'll never know," Adric sighed. Then he started as the door behind him opened.

"Come with me if you want to live," the man said. He was tall and thin and wore a black cloak.

"What? Who are you? The ship's about to blow up!"

"I remembered you as brighter than this."

"Doctor? Unless you're..."

"I'm the Doctor. Or was, in a manner of speaking. Now come on."

Adric followed him out. "You've regenerated again. Why didn't you come back right away, Doctor?"

"It's a long story. And, please, I don't use the name 'Doctor' anymore. Call me Valeyard."

 

Title: Cat and Dog
Note: Sequel to "Presents"
Originally Posted: 15 April, 1997

Wolsey strolled toward the new arrival and stared.

"I am here for Bernice Summerfield," the computer announced. It raised its head, and the cat stepped back. After a second's pause, he leaned closer and sniffed at K9's nose.

"I repeat, I am... stop!" No longer scared by the voice, Wolsey set one paw on the dog's nose and reached up to bat at the rotating dishes on its head.

K9 backed away in alarm, but Wolsey walked around to its side. Before K9 could turn, he'd leapt on its back. K9 yelled and rolled, but Wolsey had already fallen asleep.

 

Title: Deep Inside the Spaceship
Originally Posted: 15 April, 1997


Sarah Jane shook her head. "I know it was right here two days ago," she muttered. She spun on her heel and started back the way she'd come, but after three false turns, she realised that she couldn't find the corridor where she had been.

"Okay, just stay calm. Try always taking the left path." She continued this strategy, but none of the rooms she passed seemed familiar. "Right path maybe?"

Just as she was about to give up, she rounded a corner and found herself facing a hunk of cheese almost as large as herself. "Very funny," she deadpanned.

 

Title: First Love
Originally Posted: 15 April, 1997

My first memory was of a tunnel of light. The second was of Rachel's face in that alley. I think I loved her then, but it took her longer. She didn't know who I was or what I was, and neither did I.

She gave me a place to stay, took care of me. I didn't eat, never drank, though I did bump into things. I helped out to earn my keep.

Over time, romance blossomed. Eventually, she even took me out to meet her parents. We got to their house, but couldn't go in. They had stairs, darn it.

 

Title: The Mark in Question
Crossover with: Batman
Originally Posted: 17 April, 1997


"I think I saw him!" Robin yelled into his radio. "I just caught a bit of his staff out the corner of my eye, but it was him!"

It'd been three months since the Riddler escaped from Arkham, and there'd been no leads until now. Batman swept down into the alley and landed in front of the fugitive.

"You're not the Riddler!" he yelled.

"No, I'm the Doctor," the short man said.

Batman looked at the staff, no, umbrella the man held. The umbrella with the red question-mark handle. "Roooobiiiinnn!"

 

Title: New Friends
Doctor: Second
Originally Posted: 18 April, 1997


"What is that?" Jamie asked.

"It's a panda, silly," Zoe said, holding the stuffed animal close. "It's cute!"

The Doctor looked up from the console. "It used to belong to Steven, I believe. He called it 'Hi-Fi' I think."

"I found it in a room down the hall," the girl explained.

"Steven must have forgotten it."

"Can I keep it?"

"If you promise to take care of it."

* * *

The Doctor stepped quietly into the bedroom, and slipped the panda under Zoe's arm without waking her. He recognised that she wouldn't, couldn't, remember it, but he thought they needed each other.

 

Between that drabble and this, I wrote a couple with the Sixth Doctor that aren't postable here; one featured Elvis and the other Dr. Seuss.


Title: Cyber Cafe
Originally Posted: 22 April, 1997


"Excellent," the Cyberleader declared.

"It is good latte, isn't it?" his subordinate said as he opened his mouth and drank.

Behind them, two earlier-model Cybermen leaned their heads back to pour their coffees into the unmoving holes of their mouths. "That is quite adequate!" one gushed.

"If I had emotions, I'd be enraptured!" his comrade agreed. "Look what just came in."

"Hey, grandpa!" the Cyberleader yelled. "What're you gonna do? Strain your coffee through that sock you call a head?" Everyone laughed.

"Buy a clue," the Mondasian said, tossing a coin at his taunter.

"Ah! Gold!" The Cybermen scattered.

"Kids."

 

This one might require a bit of explanation. Between the end of the series in '89 and the TV movie in '96, there were several failed attempts to mount a big-screen version. One of the ones that came closest to getting made came to be known as The Jewels of Time; the actor being courted to play the Doctor was Pierce Brosnan. Hence...



Title: Steele Confused?
Crossover with: Remington Steele
Setting: After The Jewels of Time and during "Hounded Steele"
Originally Posted: 30 April, 1997


The police put the disgraced Blaylock in handcuffs.

"I'll be back," Remington said. A moment later, the TARDIS materialised, and the Doctor emerged.

"What are you doing here?" he yelled at Blaylock. "Wait. I'm sorry. You just look like someone I used to be."

"Mister Steele?" Laura asked, confused.

"Excuse me?"

"I say. You are a handsome man," the just-returned real Steele said.

"Who...?"

"What...?"

"How...?"

The Doctor shook his head. "What a mess. The only thing which could make this worse is..."

Just then, a second TARDIS appeared, and the Fourth Doctor stepped out. "Hello. Did I miss something?"

 

Title: Romana's Reunion
Doctor: Fourth
Companions: Romana II, K9
Originally Posted: May, 1997

Romana pulled down the lever, and the TARDIS shuddered to a halt.

"So where have we landed?" the Doctor asked.

Romana just groaned.

The Doctor looked for himself. "Great!" he chuckled. "Come along."

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"Doctor, this is..."

"Well, I did warn you. Didn't I, K9?"

"Affirmative."

"Come along, then."

* * *

Outside the TARDIS, the Doctor was met by an old friend.

"Doctor!" she gushed.

"Princess Astra! It's so good to see you again."

"You too. Where's Romana?"

"Oh, she's just in the TARDIS." He turned back to the open door. "Come on out, Romana!"

"I don't want to!"

 

After all those April dates, the skip to August for this one might seem odd, but it used to be common for Internet use to drop off during the summer when college students went home and lost access. [By the next time I went home, at Christmas, my family were online.]



Title: I'd Like a Scarf
Crossover with: Are You Being Served?
Originally Posted: 20 August, 1997

"Are you being served, sir?" Mr. Grainger asked.

"I'd like a scarf," the tall man said with a broad grin. "Something which would go with this hat."

"I think we have just the thing," Grainger declared. "Mr. Humphries, are you free?"

"I'm free!" his assistant yelled happily.

"Get that striped scarf out of stock. Yes, that one."

Humphries sauntered over with the scarf.

The customer draped it over his shoulders. "It's a bit long."

"Wrap it twice and, eventually, it'll ride up with wear," Grainger assured him.

* * *

"And can you believe he was right, Sarah Jane?" the Doctor asked.

"No."

 

Title: UNIT's Ringer
Originally Posted: 20 August, 1997


"Welcome to the 1975 UNIT International Basketball Tournament, where the rumour among the Americans is that the British have recruited ABA star Julius Erving for their team."

* * *

Keith Frost looked across the court at the tall figure hidden in the long coat, scarf, and hat. His back was turned, but he had to be Erving. As Frost got closer, though, his certainty faltered. Then the man turned around.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor," he said, grinning.

"But you're not..."

British team captain Mike Yates intervened. "I said the Doctor was on our team, but I never said it was that Doctor."

 

A pair of linked AU drabbles this time.


Title: Sarah Jane's First Interview
Notes: AU
Originally Posted: 22 August, 1997


Funny, Sarah Jane thought, the man behind the glass didn't look like a deranged killer. He seemed suave despite the orange jumpsuit. "Hello, Brigadier," he said.

The guard nodded uncomfortably. "Don't get caught in his world," he warned before leaving Sarah Jane alone outside the cell.

The prisoner smiled. "Nice chap normally. Bit military, but nice. Miss Smith, is it?"

"Yes, I've come to discuss..." she began.

"Tut, tut! There's a crisis on! Scientists are disappearing!" He ran back to a corner of his cell, then paused. "Well, as long as you're sitting there, you might as well stow away!"

---

Title: Sarah Jane's Last Interview
Notes: AU
Originally Posted: 22 August, 1997


"...But they'd all died!" the Doctor yelled.

"Very good, Doctor," Sarah Jane said. She'd been visiting the prison for years now. This wasn't her original friend, of course; he'd killed himself, and this guy had continued the delusions. But now she had to leave. For good.

"Same time next week?" the Doctor asked.

"No. I'm not coming back. I'm sorry."

"What?" he shrieked. "You can't abandon me!"

"But I have to go," she tried to explain.

"You can't! Wait! I know! You didn't abandon me! That's it! I abandoned you! Just left you behind! And it isn't even South Croydon!"

 

Title: Pilot Comes Home
Crossover with: The X-Files
Originally Posted: 29 August, 1997


Pilot liked being an "Alien Bounty Hunter," he really did, but sometimes it was nice to come home. As he came through the front gate, a Sontaran stepped out on the porch.

"Dad!" Pilot shouted. They hugged.

"How are you, son?" the Sontaran asked. "Dear, Pilot's home!"

"I heard," said the woman in the doorway. Only the green glow betrayed the fact that she wasn't human. "Could I talk to him alone?"

The Sontaran went inside.

Pilot looked at his mother curiously. "I thought you were finally going to tell Dad that you're a Rutan."

"I couldn't break his heart."

 

This is based on one of the show's most famous gaffes.


Title: The Hand on the Seat
Setting: Late in "Pyramids of Mars"
Originally Posted: 31 August, 1997


"I can move!" Sutekh yelled. Behind him, unseen, a hand pulled back off the Osiran's throne.

Oh, sure, Eugene thought, you've had it so tough, being paralysed in a comfortable chair. Try spending millennia trapped behind that chair, never daring say a word, with your hand caught under a bony Osiran posterior.

Then he heard Sutekh leave. Eugene swore until he was hoarse, then used his arms to pull himself up, but his legs wouldn't support him. He fell back down, taking the throne with him. It landed on the hand which had been under Sutekh's rump. He swore again.

 

Title: An Impenetrable Disguise
Doctor: Third
Originally Posted: 3 September, 1997


The Brigadier ran into the laboratory. "Miss Grant! Where's the Doctor?"

"Here I am."

"We think we've found the Master!"

* * *

Minutes later, Bessie raced along the road away from London. "So tell me," the Doctor said, "what's got you so excited."

"We've had people searching for anagrams of his name, as you instructed, and one's appeared: Smarte."

"Diabolical!" the Doctor yelled. "Just like him, too."

"And there's a secret missile base a mile north. Turn here. There's just one problem, though."

Bessie stopped at the edge of a field filled with people.

The Brigadier frowned. "It's the Smarte family reunion."

 

For the 45th anniversary, I'm going to skip ahead to a crossover drabble featuring another character who made its first appearance on November 23rd, in this case twenty-five years ago today.


Title: The Pitter-Patter of Little Feet
Doctor: Seventh
Crossover with: Discworld
Originally Posted: 28 January, 1999


At first, the Doctor supposed, he'd been reminded of that mechanical dog he'd kept three lifetimes ago. The same fanatical loyalty, same foolhardy courage, same nigh indestructibility... well, not the last part.

And K9 had never eaten one of his other companions. Maybe Roz had been teasing it rather harshly, but the Doctor still had to let his faithful friend go.

That was at the last stop, in another part of time and space. So, the Doctor asked himself as the distinctive cloud of dust kicked up by a hundred feet came ever closer, how'd the Luggage get to Skaro?

 

Title: The Timing
Originally Posted: 5 September, 1997


"Stop, Doctor!" Romana yelled as she crawled toward the console. "This isn't you! The TARDIS is making you do this!"

"Shut up!" the Doctor screamed. He brought the oversized croquet mallet down on Romana's back. "That's better. Now where's Adric?" He turned and loped from the room.

* * *

Adric cowered in the corner. He'd tried running, but the TARDIS always brought him back to where he'd already been.

* * *

Grasping the mallet with both hands, the Doctor staggered down the corridors. "You can't hide from me forever, boy! Come out and take your medicine! Ah, there you are, you dirty Alzarian pup!"

 

Title: Not Another One
Crossover with: The Pretender
Originally Posted: 11 September, 1997


"I'll get it, Doris," Alistair mumbled. He threw on his dressing gown and trudged downstairs.

Standing at the front door was a young man in a ridiculous outfit. "Hello, Brigadier. It's me, the Doctor."

He'd changed again. At least this one had decently short hair. "It's the middle of the night."

"I need you to get me into UNIT, vouch for me."

"Right now?"

"It's vital," the Doctor said. "I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

Alistair stared at the man. "Heart? Not hearts? Who are you?"

"I'm the... my name's Jarod. Jarod Baker. I need your help."

 

Title: But That's Me!
Originally Posted: 17 September, 1997


"Ah, my oldest nemesis," the man in black laughed.

The Doctor scowled. "I thought you died on Gallifrey."

"Oh, I'm very much alive."

"Master," a high voice interrupted.

Both Time Lords turned toward the mechanical dog. "Yes?"

K9's head tilted. "I was addressing the master. Who are you?"

"What? I am the Master."

"Negative. This is the master."

"I repeat that I am the Master!"

"Nega..."

"K9!" the Doctor yelled. "This is the Master."

The dog turned from one Time Lord to the other. "Contradiction! The Master! Not the Master! Contradiction!" He began to spin.

"Oh no."

K9's head exploded.

 

Title: The Natives Are Restless
Companion: Jo Grant
Originally Posted: 27 September, 1997


Professor Jones slipped into the hut. "Dear, we have a problem."

Jo looked up from her work. "What's wrong?"

"The elders are angry. They say your blue crystal is an evil talisman."

"My Metebelis crystal? But this was a gift from the Doctor!"

"I know, but the tribe are uneasy and demand you get rid of it."

Jo considered being petulant, but relented. "Okay, but why now? The crystal's never bothered them before."

* * *

"Thank you, gentlemen," the small man said to the village elders. He bowed, then picked up his umbrella by its red handle and disappeared into the jungle.

 

A very meta (and slightly incorrect) drabble this time.

Title: A Drabble in Black and White
Doctor: Third
Setting: Just after "The Mind of Evil"
Originally Posted: October, 1997


"You know, Doctor," Jo said, "that what happened at Stangmoor seemed really... colourful at the time, but now, it doesn't."

"I understand completely, Jo," the Doctor assured her. "Before I was exiled, none of my adventures had that same... colour as those I've had since. But last year when I met the Silurians - an utterly inappropriate name - I noticed the same phenomenon. At the time, there was such a vibrant colour which I simply can't recapture. And like you I noticed it after our recent battle with the Master, though as I reflect further, there are a few minutes there..."