Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arin_Atona, Dec 6, 2004.
And that's something I WOULD HAVE DONE.
I'll take that as a compliment
Wow. This update was just full of surprises.
When I read that Serel was Lamiel's father, I thought "Oh good, he's certainly not going to double-cross his daughter and her family." Then you hit us with Dirana = Lord Acris.
Looking forward to more!
Scoundrel: This update was just full of surprises.
Indeed. There was quite a bit of character information packed in there, which made it a bear of a scene to write.
: When I read that Serel was Lamiel's father, I thought "Oh good, he's certainly not going to double-cross his daughter and her family."
True, but he might have had an axe to grind with the Jedi after abandoned him.
: Then you hit us with Dirana = Lord Acris.
Yes, that was a bit on the evil side, wasn't it?
* * *
"No sense in keeping up the charade," Kainen mumbled as she unhooked her belt and removed her bulky tan overtunic. "If they spot us inside, they'll know who we are anyway." She tossed the disguise into a corner of the darkened alleyway and retrieved a small hairclip from a pocket next to the silver-hilted lightsaber hanging from the hip of her grey cloth jumpsuit. By the time she had pulled her gray hair back into a tail and clipped it into place, Haest had shed his disguise as well.
Jeresh and LamiÃ¨l cinched their belts a little tighter and appeared to both be somewhat satisfied that they were now able to wear their own lightsabers openly.
"There's a sewage line access grating near the north entrance of the Temple," Jeresh noted. "That seems like our best option for getting in."
"And I can get us past the droids," LamiÃ¨l added, holding up the control device she had brought from Serel's computer lab.
Kainen thought carefully while she peeked around the alley's corner and down the causeway toward where the eastern side of the Temple's base could be seen. Though they were far enough down in Hadabon City's lower levels where Coruscant's sky could not be seen, it was quite obvious that it had begun raining since they arrived in the Pauper's Market. Filthy drops of water leaked through cracks, crevices, and fissures in the causeways above them, filling the lower levels with their well-known stench that made the entire place smell like they were already in the sewers.
And yet, to her nostrils, it smelled of home.
"We'll go in through the sewage access grating along the eastern base just up ahead," she stated firmly, turning back to face her companions.
Jeresh shook his head. "It's too obvious an entry point. The channel will be filled with sentries and sensors."
"You didn't spend much of your time as a Padawan at the Temple, did you?" Kainen asked with a grin. "I spent many a night roaming these very streets in my youth. If the Jedi Order couldn't keep teenaged Padawans from sneaking out at night after owning the place for two-thousand years, then a few years under Sith control aren't going to keep me from sneaking in."
Jeresh shrugged. "Very well. I'll trust your judgment. Just so we're prepared, what's your plan once we're inside?"
"We let the Force guide us," she replied, removing a comlink from her pocket.
"You do have a plan, don't you?" Jeresh asked.
"Plans go awry about halfway through," she remarked. "How about I spare you the details and let you know that approximately halfway into the mission, we're falling back to the backup plan?"
"Run like hell," Haest muttered.
"Somehow," Jeresh mused, "I doubt that's what my Master meant by 'living in the moment'."
"Look on the bright side," Kainen replied with a smile while handing him her comlink. "You don't have to go in with us. We're going to need transportation out of here."
Jeresh frowned as he took the comlink. "You don't exactly need a Jedi Master to mind-trick your way into a speeder. LamiÃ¨l could handle that task."
If Jeresh had any premonition to dodge the slap Kainen put across his dark-skinned face, he didn't act on it, but instead rubbed his face afterwards and fixed her with a confused stare.
"That's the kind of thinking that got us into this mess to begin with," Kainen growled angrily, shaking a finger in his face. "Jedi considering themselves and their missions as higher-priority than everyone else in the galaxy is exactly why we are hated. Don't you dare deprive a citizen of their property without their willful consent. If you have to steal a speeder... steal it from the Red Guard. Perhaps that's a more worthy task for a Jedi Master."
"Master," Haest said softly, placing a hand on her extended arm.
Kainen took note of Jeresh's surprised expression, and then the look of complete shock that was etched on her granddaughter's face. "I'm sorry," she said after a mom
Ooh good post, love the interactions here
"May the Force be with us," Kainen said, "in spite of our cheery optimism."
Amen to that. LOL, great post.
Luney: love the interactions here
Thanks! I liked how the characters handled themselves as well.
: Amen to that. LOL, great post.
Writing this was... disturbing.
* * *
Zaree da-Boda's introduction to Hell began with four gray walls, a cold, hard floor, and awakening with the knowledge that she had been on the brink of death, and yet denied that escape. Hell, however, had not been content with a mere introduction.
The moment she'd been coherent enough to fight back, they started injecting her with a mild cognitive inhibitor - not enough to sedate her, but just enough to weaken her concentration and make her more pliable to their will. It had the added benefit of making her use of the Force an exhausting and utterly worthless effort.
Then came the pain.
Saecrious had made certain to take his time in taunting her with the fact that the human mind and body were capable of enduring unimaginable levels of abuse before each one of his countless private demonstrations of that capability. At some point, she recalled, she took a relatively sick comfort in the knowledge that whatever she was capable of enduring, it did have a limit.
In the beginning, he simply wanted to break her. She was Jedi, and despite the injections, she would still frustrate his efforts by being able to disconnect her conscious mind from the pain and abuse. All it took was an image she could concentrate on.
While he worked his cruelty on her body, her mind drifted to memories of her youth and the comforts she enjoyed in her Master's quarters as a Padawan - the only place she ever really called home. It was the only thing she had left that Saecrious could not take away from her. Even when the mind-probes began she still would not let him through, and whenever he probed her, that comforting memory was all he saw. That her resiliency angered him gave her at least some satisfaction.
That came to an abrupt end the very first time they dragged her out of that plain gray cell and unceremoniously deposited her on the floor of the very room in her memories.
The image of the room in her mind had allowed Saecrious to recreate it to startling detail, and whatever Jedi once had the damnable compulsion to record every last detail of a Padawan's life in the Temple Archives had provided him with the exact location of her quarters. It wasn't simply a recreation of her Master's home... it was her Master's home. Even the way the place felt in the Force was the same as in her memory.
Now, the very place she had once sought refuge from Saecrious' malignant cruelty had become his favorite place to bruise, cut, and invade her - sometimes by his cold, black metal hand, other times by what remained of his rough, mutilated flesh. In her childhood home. In the small pantry she once used for meditation. Even in her own bed.
Anything in which she attempted to find solace or comfort, he desecrated.
Even after he succeeded in breaking her, he continued to find sick amusement in her suffering, which now served a wholly different, yet equally sinister purpose.
Zaree cowered in the corner of her Master's old quarters again to await his cold touch, her green eyes following him carefully as he slowly paced the room murmuring and humming as he always did when in deep thought. He seemed particularly pleased with himself tonight, which meant that the medics might have to be brought in to revive her once again before this session was over. That would depend greatly upon how much risk he would take with his prize she now carried in her womb.
Or perhaps she was far enough along that he would have the medics simply claim the abomination from her body and finally put an end to her miserable existence.
When the door unexpectedly hissed open and one of his Red Guard thugs entered the room - something he had never before allowed - Zaree trembled instinctively in the sudden fear that Saecrious had found yet another cruel new way to express his 'creativity'.
The newcomer flashed a disgusted sneer at her, apparently revolted that she would even think he was there to touch something like her.
Very evil little post there...I feel bad for her. hate to see what it does to her...
: Very evil little post there...I feel bad for her.
It was. I think I succeeded in depressing myself with it, as I've not been able to write anything since. Zaree was a little messed up *before* all this, so regardless of the outcome, there will be some fallout from it.
Hopefully Kainen can give her the opportunity to go through all of that without being in Saecrious' clutches.
"If she's in top form, it'll be two weeks before you remember that she walked right past you. The droids won't bring her down, but she can't hide from them, either. Triple their patrols."
Indiana Jones strikes back, seems like. I love the prison made out of the familiar, the desecration of both innocence and home, and the way he preys upon her fears.
: Indiana Jones strikes back, seems like.
Not quite. It'll get explained it a bit more later.
: I love the prison made out of the familiar, the desecration of both innocence and home, and the way he preys upon her fears.
Rather nasty, isn't he?
I might have to borrow your bad guys like you borrowed Sorcer Debas.
Oh wow. Poor Zaree. Not that it hadn?t been obvious earlier, but Saecrious is one seriously twisted Sith, ain?t he? Hmm Twisted Sith - that would be an interesting name for a band . . . (Don?t mind me, I?m feeling unusually silly right now. )
Looking forward to more!
: Not that it hadn?t been obvious earlier, but Saecrious is one seriously twisted Sith, ain?t he?
That he is.
: Twisted Sith - that would be an interesting name for a band . . .
And their hit single, Ow! Ow! Bad Bunny!.
Still waiting for an update...
I am trying
So many eras, so little time
Well, just stop trying to make Galvin Mother Teresa!
* * *
From twenty levels under the avenue most people would consider to be the 'surface' of this particular district of Coruscant's Hadabon City, claps of thunder from the growing storm outside rolled, drummed, and echoed through the natural tunnels formed by the durasteel and ferrocrete buildings and streets; rainwater poured in from above through various cracks and fissures, washing all manner of filth from above down into the lower portions of the city. Rumors circulated about the very depths of the city itself, sometimes hundreds of levels down, that the rainwash would accumulate and leave the filth it brought with it deposited there, slowly burying entire levels over the course of centuries. Nature abhors a vacuum, however, and since all of Coruscant's dirt eventually made its way to a permanent residence underneath the city, that meant new filth had to be imported from off-world.
Appropriately, new filth arrived on nearly every starship that settled on the planet, sometimes in the form of dust, solid-fuel particles from ship and speeder exhaust, and the natural decaying of all living things. Other times new filth arrived in the form of politicians and vile, unsavory Sith lords. One could only hope their legacy would be as transient as any other piece of garbage.
"Mind your thoughts, young one," Kainen admonished her. "Such harsh judgment is hardly becoming of a Padawan."
"Sorry," LamiÃ¨l replied, looking up from the control pad in her hands to give an apologetic look to her grandmother, barely visible in the alleyway's deep shadows. "All this waiting around makes my mind wander."
"Don't worry," she replied, her face stretching in what appeared to be a smile, "I think the waiting is just about over."
LamiÃ¨l set the control pad in her lap and leaned back against the wall. "I hope Haest is okay," she murmured. "He's been gone too long."
"Haest is fine," Kainen assured her. "He's on his way back now."
LamiÃ¨l sighed in admiration. "I wish my bond to Master Jeresh was that strong."
"I assume your bond with him isn't natural?" Kainen inquired.
"No," she replied, shaking her head. "We've had to work very hard to establish a bond at all. He took me as his apprentice when our enclave fled Garqi."
"You are bound by necessity," Kainen noted. "He seems to have trained you impressively, despite the disadvantage."
"He has," she heartily agreed, then waited for another dull roar of echoing thunder to die away before continuing, "and our bond gets stronger by the day."
"Good," Kainen observed. "Very good."
LamiÃ¨l returned her attention to the control pad for a few moments and listened to the water as it dripped and sloshed its way through to the next level. "How about Haest?" Looking up, she could see Kainen turn a perplexed look toward her.
"What about him?"
"Is he a good Padawan?"
Kainen chuckled loudly. "Haest would be a good Master if he'd ever cut off his braid. He was a handful when he was younger, but he's been as good an apprentice as anyone could want. He's just got some noble ideal in his head that he's not going to accept his Knighthood until one of us is ready to take on a Padawan... but younglings are in short supply these days."
"Is that why you and my mother both chose to have children?"
"Since we are not welcome in much of the galaxy, many Jedi are using that to replenish our numbers," Kainen replied, if somewhat vaguely.
LamiÃ¨l glanced back up at her and narrowed her eyes. "You just dodged the question. A simple yes or no would've worked."
"My reasons were because of family tradition," Kainen answered. "I don't know what your mother's motivations were."
LamiÃ¨l frowned. "Now you're lying to me."
"Protecting," Kainen corrected. "I only know a few facts about your conception, all of them tainted by emotion. Considering the circumstances, you don't need that burden."
"Why should the truth ever be a burden?"
"I said nothing about truth," Kainen chastised h
Very nice post, really liked Lamiel and Kainens talk.
: Very nice post, really liked Lamiel and Kainens talk.
this is so original!
I can't even believe this. Your characters just shine with personality, and the twists...o yes.
I am totally amazed by this thing, and I wish you the best of luck finishing your epic!
and I love that you included the sunrider 'tradition'...it made me smile!
-Tris (braid and all)
: Your characters just shine with personality, and the twists...o yes.
Thanks! The characters make the story, I think, so I'm glad you like them.
: and I love that you included the sunrider 'tradition'...it made me smile!
One of my favorite Jedi bloodlines.
* * *
The Jedi Temple.
Raised in an enclave on the farming world of Garqi, LamiÃ¨l had never before had the opportunity to see the structure in person, but only in surveillance and archive holos. She couldn't see the towering spires hidden by the levels of the great city layered above them, but she was vaguely aware of its proportions. The great wall looming up before them was nothing of any architectural significance, being only the bulwark of the Temple's base, but just simply knowing the history and heritage of this place made the sight simply breathtaking.
"We'll have to move quickly," Kainen whispered to her, drawing LamiÃ¨l out of her awe. "Haest will take care of the sewage grating. Once he has it uncovered, I need you climb down as quickly as possible to get out of sight."
LamiÃ¨l pulled herself back from the corner she was peeking around to look at her grandmother. "How will we distract the guards?"
"Let me worry about it," Kainen admonished. "I'll explain it to you sometime, but now right now."
The young Padawan nodded her head in begrudging acceptance.
"Trust in what you cannot see," Kainen said softly. "Move quickly and quietly, and no matter what happens... don't stop. Even if you lose sight of Haest, keep your eyes and your concentration focused on getting down that shaft."
How could she possibly lose sight of the enormous Bothan? Beyond this building, it was a good fifty meters of open broadway to the sewage grating built into the ground, with no place to hide.
"Ready?" Kainen asked, pulling the hilt of her lightsaber free from her belt.
"Yes, Master," Haest replied from beside LamiÃ¨l, setting one of his furry hands on her shoulder with steadying comfort.
LamiÃ¨l pulled her own saber free and took a deep breath. "I'm ready."
The Force stirred deeply around them, its warm current taking on the sensation of her Master wrapping his heavy cloak about her in the chill night air of Garqi's autumntime. Its presence was, in a word, immersive - like being submerged in a pool of water without the suffocation of drowning. LamiÃ¨l didn't know from where it came, only that it was, and that she was a part of it.
The steadying hand on her shoulder vanished, and LamiÃ¨l found herself alone.
"Go," something urged her. Trying to concentrate on her mission, she darted around the corner and raced toward the sewage grating.
Haest was nowhere to be seen.
Her mind raced with confusion as the Force continued to blanket her in its presence, and as she ran, she very vaguely thought she saw some silvery being kneel by the sewage grating as she approached, but her attention wandered to the towering, menacing figure of an approaching Guardian droid stalking toward her with pronounced determination. Dread filled her thoughts. If their program had done its job, this shouldn't be happening.
LamiÃ¨l's sprint came to a halt as the great lumbering machine approached, practically a small, oblong warship mounted atop a great set of massive hydraulic legs, its torso bristling with weaponry. It came to a halt a few meters away and seemed to be processing her through its threat assessment algorithm. If it determined her to be a threat, then she would soon be a guest of its masters.
The monolith of a droid considered her carefully, then its hydraulic legs went back into motion, turning it aside and ignoring her completely.
LamiÃ¨l let out a relieved sigh, then noticed the human guards looking almost directly at her, but not paying any heed to her whatsoever.
Remembering her edict, she focused again on the sewage grating a few meters ahead, now lifted up slightly by some unseen... or unnoticed force. She sprinted the remaining distance and felt herself brush against something, or someone furry and caught the faint impression of silver as she found footholds leading down into the darkened shaft and climbed down as quickly as possible.
A dim shadow cast by the low light from above caught her atte
"As interesting as this smell is..."
A very old Han Solo, excellent. I wish there had been a longer post, but this was great transition.