5 Lessons IT Managers Should Learn From Darth Vader

Discussion in 'Santa Cruz, CA' started by Kai_Vandekar, Jun 14, 2007.

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  1. Kai_Vandekar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2005
    star 4
    Ok, this made me laugh out loud...but scarily, it's not all that inaccurate.

    - Kai

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    5 Lessons IT Managers Should Learn from Darth Vader
    HelpDeskSamurai(IT Support Manager) Posted 6/13/2007
    Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)



    Yes, it's true, you can learn lessons about IT management from the Dark Lord of the Sith.

    This list is the result of a challenge someone made to me after I posted my two articles on lessons IT Managers can learn from the movie "300".

    I want to be very clear. In this article, I am not referring to "Akakin Skywalker" from the prequel movies. I'm referring to Darth "Oh my God, he just lifted that guy off the ground by his throat!" Vader. The greatest movie villain ever known.

    So, straight into it. Here are five lessons you can glean from Vader as you revel in the dark side of IT management.

    1. Be clear when you direct your subordinates. Yell in a really deep, powerful voice to drive it home. (A New Hope, boarding the rebel ship at the beginning of the film.)

    From the very start of Episode IV, Vader is a man who is direct about what he wants. When he tells his commander to tear the rebel ship apart to find the plans, there is no mistaking what he wants. It's a pattern he continues throughout the saga. Nebulous, vague, non-committal; these words do not describe Vader.

    2. Be willing to intervene personally if projects get too far behind. (Return of the Jedi, Vader arrives on the Death Star.)

    "You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule."

    With that one sentence, Darth Vader takes over the greatest engineering project ever attempted in the history of the galaxy, the second Death Star. No debating with the previous project manager about missed deliverables. No meetings about improving efficiencies. This project is going to get back on schedule, and the Force help you if you aren't part of the solution.

    3. Promote from within. (Empire Strikes Back. Aboard the Executor after coming out of hyperspace near the Hoth System)

    Admiral Ozzel, say hello to the floor of the bridge. Team, say hello to your new Admiral, the former Captain Piett.

    Question: How motivated do you think Piett was?

    4. Communicate important news to your superiors immediately, in person if you think it's important. (Return of the Jedi, as the rebels landed on Endor)

    Rebel fleet massing near Sullust? No big deal. Small rebel force landing on Endor? Ho-hum. Luke Skywalker is with them? Vader beating a path straight to the throne room to inform the Emperor.

    5. Don't let yourself be pushed around during meetings. (A New Hope, meeting aboard the Death Star)

    During the meeting aboard the first Death Star, some egotistical upstart officer decided to give Vader a little guff. Bad move. Forget decorum, it was lesson time. Vader allows Grand Moff Tarkin to "call him off" (it was Tarkin's meeting, after all), but you can bet nobody else smarted off to Vader from that point on.

    Sometimes, you need to remind people what the pecking order is.


    Disclaimer; You shouldn't take this seriously. This is satire, of myself no less. I do not advocate any sort of violence toward your co-workers, or walking around your office with a cloak and mask, unless your workplace dress code explicitly allows for it.

    HDS
  2. Kai_Vandekar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2005
    star 4
    *Sniff* Nobody even bothered to look at this? But...but...it's FUNNY!

    - Kai
  3. Master--Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2003
    star 4
    Hey... I thought it was hysterical. =D=
  4. DarkLordSid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 4
    What could I say, words seem to pale in describing how dang funny this is.
  5. TionneHawk Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2002
    star 5
    I was laughing too hard to type!
  6. Kai_Vandekar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2005
    star 4
    Actually, I specifically posted it because Master K thought YOU might think it was hysterical. Apparently not.

    *shrug*

    Oh well. I thought it was funny. Whatever.

    - Kai
  7. DarkLordSid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 4
    ???

    I DID think it was funny, still do in fact, really.
  8. DarkLordSid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 4
    Okay, I lied, it's not funny at all, mainly because our IT dept. DOES THIS ALREADY.

    The only difference is that they have a Jabba running the place.

    ME: "I need a new flat screen monitor"
    Jabba the Manager: Ho ho ho ho! *opens the trap door and dumps me to the rancor*

    See, not funny at ALL.

    :p

  9. Kai_Vandekar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2005
    star 4
    LMAO!

    And Sid, my apologies for the grumpy response. I took as sarcasm what you meant to be taken at face value, and then went off in a little snit about it. It was immature of me and not even grandiose and nasty enough to be (oooh) all Dark Sidey.

    Just kinda...pissy.

    So, I do apologize for it. :)

    - Kai, Failing Both Jedi and Sith 101
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