Amph 60+ Years of James Bond 007

Those spaceships in YOLT are rubbish , they look like something from the 1950s . Gerry Anderson was doing better FX on tv with a tv budget .

 

The funny thing is, they designed a credible American capsule by aping the actual spacecraft designs we were putting up, and then when they had to design their own spaceship, they decided screw that, let’s go with fifties B-movie design.

 

Not to push anybody to move on from OHMSS, which deserves plenty of discussion, but since I'm going to be away from home for two weeks and will have to catch up when I get back, I figured I'd at least get a little jump on things and put up my comments on Diamonds Are Forever.

It sucks.

YOLT was bad. It was silly and stupid. But DAF is beyond that. YOLT seems like it was accidentally bad. They tried to make a good Bond movie and just had bad ideas. DAF shows no sign of effort from anybody. Certainly not Connery, who's just here for a big payday and a working vacation in Vegas. The movie looks cheap, visually, and the effects are just godawful. All the budget seems to have gone to getting Connery back, which was wasted money, because the visibly aging, indifferent Connery sleepwalking through this bears little connection to the series' heyday. The writing is abominable; it's just a lazy, cheesy movie that never tries to make much sense and deliberately seeks out camp. The comically gay assassins, Jimmy Dean playing a hillbilly Howard Hughes, the bizarrity that is Bambi and Thumper, Bond stealing an idiotic-looking moon buggy from a staged moon landing that has nothing to do with anything, the insidious plan to kill Bond by leaving him in a pipe overnight and hoping no one goes anywhere near it, the elephant playing a slot machine, the general sense of indifference between Bond and Blofeld. It's all just stupid, tasteless, lazy camp, and worst of all, it's so thick it's obviously deliberate. The series is all ready for Moore. This is a Moore movie in everything but actor, an absolute disaster.

The only thing it has going for it is that it's so unexpectedly insane, so outrageously weird, that it has a small edge over the worst Moore entries, which tend to somehow not only be outrageously silly, but dull as well. It doesn't have much energy, but at least it manages to be a so-bad-it's-good kind of funny. And it does have that elevator fight early on, the one and only bit of the film that's unironically any good.

1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
2. From Russia with Love
3. Dr. No
4. Goldfinger
5. Thunderball
6. You Only Live Twice
7. Diamonds Are Forever

 

@Havac

The perceived need to get Connery back is one more example of how much emphasis has always been placed on accessibility and being a known quantity. It's true in movies, art in general, and just about everywhere. Most people never get around to remembering or learning where the great ones started out. In general, people (and particularly movie audiences) want to know what's going on and don't like ambiguity or uncertainty. So, we keep getting fed actors past their time, and reboots and remakes and so on. Sometimes it works out, but most of the time it doesn't. It certainly didn't with Diamonds are Forever.

 

Well there are other factors at play, KW. The Bond actor of the day resigned from the role, despite attempts to keep him. They didn't have a backup plan they were comfortable with - they tested actors like John Gavin, but the studio wanted Connery. The producers already knew they'd have to move into a new era of Bond without the Scotsman; the decision to bring him back wasn't theirs. Hence his then-record salary of $1.25mil for the role; he thought Cubby and Harry were too cheap with him, and he knew the suits had the cash and really wanted him there.

 

Diamonds Are Forver is for the most part the franchises nadir, but I will say one nice thing about it: the fight between Bond and Peter Franks is a pretty well done piece of action that deserves to be in a much better film.

 

It would have been a better movie with Moore. He could actually pull off camp.

But yes, DAF is a contender for the worst movie of the series, bottom 3 easily. DAF, Moonraker, DAD.

They should remake it faithfully to the book, it was actually good.

 

There's a few things I like about Diamonds. The fight in the lift is very well done, some of the one liners are genuinely funny and the theme song is easily one of the best, but overall it is a poor film and Connery's worst (and I am including Never Say Never Again in that).

 

I love Diamonds ( don't care what anyone says ) . From that gorgeous title song , thru all the music , the script which is very witty and playful , to Tiffany who's a real sassy broad , there's so many lines in DAF that I love .
That car chase , the moon buggy , the elevator fight , Wint and Kydd .
It's a lighthearted romp , it's not a serious spy drama .

 

Regarding Diamonds, is it my imagination, but the Bond lady (forgot her name) had a personality switch halfway during the movie? In the beginning, she seemed competent; but then the second half, she seemed like the stereotypical "damsel in distress" trope.

Of course, I've only seen Diamonds once, so my memory may be faulty.

 

Here's something I've been wondering, if there was a British equivalent of the National Film Registry, would any Bond films would be included? I think Dr No and Goldfinger probably would, but I'm not sure about any of the others.

 

Back to OHMSS , Piz Gloria is such a wonderful location , it's magnificent but not outlandish , it feels real . And it has an undeniable romance to it even tho it's the villains lair .
Wonder if it still exists ?

 

It does:
https://schilthorn.ch/en/Welcome

 

Diamonds Are Forever... to me, there's really nothing noteworthy or memorable about it. But what does stand out, as noted earlier, is just how lazy and cheesy it feels, and how everything apparently just went into getting Connery to come back again.

1. From Russia With Love
2. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
3. Dr. No
4. Goldfinger
5. Thunderball
6. You Only Live Twice
7. Diamonds Are Forever

 

Diamonds Are Forever, eh?

If it's a parody, I give it a 5.0. There are some delicious bon mots from Mankiewicz ("There's a pool?"), an enticing theme song, a nifty car chase, and an inoffensive lackadaisical tone (reflecting the locale and lead star).

If it's a Bond film, I give it a 1.0. Holy f---.

Splitting the difference, the final score is 3.0/10.

Upon reflection:

-One man emerges from this, uh, experiment triumphant...Roger Moore. He showed us how to carry the 70s era effortlessly.
-Connery's sorry state--complete with bushel eyebrows, flab, manboobs--is illustrative of how a hedonist Bond would look in his later years. (Dalton and Craig's Bonds would have offed themselves well before their 50s, God bless them.)

 

Here's the full press release for the recent Bond 25 announcement:


Production on Bond 25 will begin in December with Danny Boyle directing Daniel Craig’s 5th outing as Bond. EON Productions and Metro Goldwyn Mayer Studios (MGM) have reached an agreement with Universal Pictures to partner on the worldwide release of the 25th James Bond film.

Daniel Craig returns as 007 and Academy Award-winning director Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire, Steve Jobs) will direct from an original screenplay by Academy Award nominee John Hodge (Trainspotting) with production set to begin on 3 December 2018. Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures will release the film theatrically in the US on 8 November 2019 through its new joint venture for domestic theatrical distribution with Annapurna Pictures, and Universal Pictures will release internationally commencing with the traditional earlier release in the UK on 25 October 2019.

Producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli commented, “We are delighted to announce that the exceptionally talented Danny Boyle will be directing Daniel Craig in his fifth outing as James Bond in the 25th instalment of the franchise. We will begin shooting Bond 25 at Pinewood Studios in December with our partners at MGM and thrilled that Universal Pictures will be our international distributor.”

“Under the leadership of Michael and Barbara, we couldn’t be more thrilled than to bring the next 007 adventure to the big screen uniting the incomparable Daniel Craig with the extraordinary vision of Danny Boyle,” said MGM’s Chairman of the Board of Directors, Kevin Ulrich. MGM’s President, Motion Picture Group Jonathan Glickman added, “It has been 16 years since DIE ANOTHER DAY was distributed by MGM and it’s incredibly gratifying to be releasing this film alongside the powerhouse team at Universal.”

“Universal is extremely proud to collaborate with Michael, Barbara and MGM on the international marketing and distribution of Bond 25,” said Chairman of Universal Pictures Donna Langley. “The unparalleled combination of Danny’s innovative filmmaking and Daniel’s embodiment of 007 ensured we simply had to be partners in the next chapter of this iconic series.”

 

The Ukranian secret service must be big fans of YOLT .

 

The new Bond novel is out. "Forever and a day" by Anthony Horowitz. Set before Casino Royale, so 1953 ish.

 

Do we really need to review the Moore era? There's one okay film (TSWLM) and one that's so bad it's okay (Octopussy). The rest are rubbish.

 

LALD is one of the most entertaining Bond movies .

 

So are we mostly ready to move on to the next one then? That brings us to the Moore era, as noted above.

Live And Let Die (1973)


James Bond is on a manhunt from Harlem to the Caribbean to find and defeat the evil Dr. Kananga before he can flood the world with massive shipments of heroin.

I'm not a big fan of the Moore movies at all, but a few of them have a bit of nostalgic appeal for me. This is one of them. It's not great, but it felt pretty different from other Bond movies before that point because of the setting, the plot, and the main villain. And something about the three British agents getting killed in quick succession at the very beginning starts it off with a pretty ominous edge, even if some cheese softens things up later.

1. From Russia With Love
2. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
3. Dr. No
4. Goldfinger
5. Thunderball
6. Live And Let Die
7. You Only Live Twice
8. Diamonds Are Forever

 

I love the bus chase , the airport scene is hilarious mayhem , the escape from the crocs is inspired , that epic boat chase which I think remains the best boat chase ever , the villains are great , some terrific dialogue "Names is for tombstones , baby!"
Moore looks fit and young enough to be Bond at this point .
The villain's scheme is pretty good too : give away heroin til you've increased your customer base .

Cons - Kananga exploding like a balloon , yeah , who thought that would work ?

It's just loads of fun
.

 

Live and Let Die. Well, the franchise left respectability behind with the 60s, so now we're purely dealing with the fun-factor. In that sense, LALD succeeds. It's small-scale and hosts a bevy of memorable characters. In other words, it knows its place.

Merits: Unlike Connery, Moore fits right in. Great theme song. Colorful villains. Delicious dialogue. The alligator death-trap(!!!!!!). Jane Seymour. The last shot of the movie.

Demerits: Placing a white hero in a blaxploitation flick is beyond ----ed.

Final Score - 6.5/10

The Cartoon Era:

LALD: 6.5
DAF: 3

The Golden Age:

OHMSS: 10
YOLT: 5
TB: 8
GF: 9.5
FRWL: 10
DN: 9.5

 

I've said before that I really appreciate how out-there the movie is, it's like some horrific fever-dream. Psychic powers, Baron Samedi on the front of the train at the end, the crazy rubber-mask disguise... it's not even trying to be in the same universe as the more grounded Bond films. Plus I love the Wings theme, Jane Seymour is one of the more glamorous Bond girls, Yaphet Kotto always has a great screen presence (even under latex), and we get 007 in the Tactleneck.

The cringe factor is high, though... the sheriff in particular is just beyond awful. I find it best watched with a bottle of wine to dull the bad bits.