JCC 88 years ago, in London...

Well I want to live in England. I hate the U.S.

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/british-people-problems

#2. Correct.
#3 Awful.
#4 Have done this.
#8 Reasonable response.
#9. Nobody is that nice. It's fake. Has to be.
#11 Have done this.
#12 I'm no sure anyone can, otherwise see #9.
#15 Reasonable.
#16 Have done this
#18 ALWAYS do this. "Sorry, I don't smoke". Like I'm in the wrong.
#19 A problem I think that transcends the equator.
#20 Ha!

slightly_unhinged G-FETT epic

 

#2 If I didn't live in the UK, this would certainly be a consolation.
#3 I agree. Simply not the done thing, what.
#8 There's something very fishy about that. Love or hate; there's no lukewarm when it comes to Marmite.
#9 Absolutely, and why are they always so damned cheerful? And no. No I would not like cheese with that
#12 Indeed.
#15 Absolutely.
#16 I take a slightly different tack and walk around for a while and come back. Sometimes I'll do this three or four times if someone is still browsing.
#18 I've been a non-smoker for 2 1/2 years now. I've spent much of that time apologising for not carrying a lighter.
#19 Definitely not a problem peculiar to the Brits
#20 Oh no. I'd have to go out and forage for bush tucker (or whatever the kiwi equivalent... barbequed sheep?)
#21 Yes. At the age of 17 it took me 3 days of all-consuming hell-pain before going to see a medical professional after being in a traffic accident. Turned out I had multiple skull fractures and a subarachnoid haemorrhage. Chin up old boy. Stiff upper lip, what.

 

You went after three days? What's the matter lad, French at heart?

Chin up, stiff upper lip, focus on good, woody-sounding words. Avoid awful, tinny words.

 

"May she"? She has...

 

n.b. i'm not really a proper brit to begin with, however with 10 years of practice under my belt:

#1 i do think this actually. morgan freeman is good, but he's no damn attenborough
#3 bastards
#8 i still prefer vegemite. i can't help it. also, too many people, when referring to themselves (usually on shows like big brother), say "i'm like marmite LOL!!!". every fricken person is apparently like marmite thesedays.
#9 i wouldn't hang up but i did notice this when i called up ebay and got american support. very friendly. i'm used to primarily indian and bangladeshi support
#12 great
#14 my english gf does like a ridiculous amount of milk in her tea. then she doesn't start drinking it for like half an hour. wtf man.
#15 i'm cutting down on it, honest
#16 i'll certainly wait. but i won't pretend i'm not. most people are oblivious though and just take as long as they want
#18 yeah, IT'S JUST POLITENESS
#19 a constant and source of frustration. slow drinkers being worse than quick drinkers obviously
#20 this is more of a man thing than a uk thing i think

 

Ender Sai, epic here's a good 'un for Londoners. I would gladly kill a man for most of these 11 transgressions:

http://londonist.com/2014/04/11-trivial-things-that-make-londoners-really-angry.php

I've taken a cab before to avoid sniffing and generally being ill on the tube because anyone doing that should be dragged out and shot.

Edit - I prefer vegemite and I'm a home-grown Brit

 

it's funny how many of those involve travelling in some way. agree they're all annoying but #2 #3, #4, #6 stand out for me.

i'm sure i walk quicker than about 90% of other people on platforms, train stations etc. do these people have no where to go?

music spillage. i've had a dude on a bus not even bother with earphones before. just sat there listening to his ****ty music (always ****ty music) with a ****ty, tinny, phone. either he actually doesn't enjoy the music (plausible) or else he just enjoys pissing people off (more plausible).

oyster readiness: the other day i was behind a girl who tried to use her paper ticket like an oyster card. that would have been very annoying but she was cute so it was OK. being cute always disarms.

 

#1 - Masticating on public transport is a no-no.
#3 - Why is it fat people, as wide as they are tall, insist on walking with about 1ft between them? Sorry, let me clarify here - by walking, I mean waddling, and slowly. Observe road etiquette - slow people should keep to the left and plod along slowly until they die. Normal people can go around your shambling carcass you self-centered git.
#4 - Is it extreme to suggest people who do this, either by playing awful, tinny music out of their phone without earbuds, or who use default Apple earphones, be shot?
#6 - It even happens with the swipe gates at work. People will arrive and then have to search through their pockets, wallet or handbag for their pass whilst people behind them pray to a variety of gods for this ****'s immediate death
#9- Sydney's roads are close, but cyclists. **** you, either you abide by the road rules or you don't, but in the latter's case if people cut you off or cause you to fall, you decided you wanted to play by the grown up's rules.
#11 - It's a bit confusing at first how you stand to the right on stairs and escalators. We stand on the left, as we drive on the left. It makes sense in countries where they're all retarded and drive on the right side of the road like the barely trained simians they are, but in England it is perplexing. In any event, I often stand on the right as if it's the done thing here just because I can.

 

Ender Sai epic slightly_unhinged

#1. Professor Brian Cox is being turned into the new Attenborough but they'll only ever be on DA for me.

#2. One person that needs a good slap.

#3. Bad. But not as bad as someone actually taking your last Rollo.

#4. Have done this.

#5. Cat's are generally a nuisance.

#6. Only Brit's know how to make a proper cup of tea. Fact.

#7 His hair looks OK to me.

#8. Marmite all the way - None of this "Vegemite" nonsense.

#9. It isn't possible to be too polite.

#11. I've never done anything wrong.

#12. Say "super, smashing, great" in a strong "Northern" accent instead.

#14. People who drink milky tea also have weak handshakes.

#15. Sugar in coffee is acceptable, but NOT tea.

#16. I've spent 2 hours walking around Boots before the aisle that contained "you know what" became clear. Then there's still the ordeal of taking them to the till to go through and you just know the woman on the till will be a lovely old lady who looks a bit like your granny.

#17. Being "sorry" for something is a national psychological state for Brit's. The government is even sorry for things that happened 700 years ago!!!

#18. See 17. Same phenomena. But it's terribly British.

#19. Most Brits are too "tight" to buy rounds, so it's not a common problem in my experience.

#20. If your entertaining people it's YOUR duty to feed them.

#21. GP's are vastly overpaid, lazy,complacent and neglectful.

 

i haven't experienced this non-round buying business. where abouts are you in the UK, G-FETT?

i have a northern irish friend who seems to drink a pint in about 5 minutes. another friend who's about 5 foot who drinks a pint in about 45 minutes. then me in the middle at, say, 25 minutes -- quickening up the more pints i have. there is an inevitable extra drink bought here or a skipped round there. it's hard work sometimes, this drinking lark.

 

OK, maybe I was exaggerating a bit on the "non-round" buying business.

 

Last time I saw a GP, I got the impression his medical degree was earned by filling out a form in a comic book (under the legend 'Become a QUALIFIED MEDICAL DOCTOR overnight and with NO EFFORT WHATSOEVER, women will FALL AT YOUR KNEES etc') and sending a cheque or postal order for £25 to Spiv Enterprises Inc.

 

Need a fallback career in the event there are no tube trains free to drive.

 

Just got back from the dawn service commemorating the 99th year since the landing of troops at Gallipoli. Our involvement in campaigns abroad has been an important part of our national sentiment; when Britain called, we answered and it was well reflected today that in addition to the Australian and New Zealand national anthems, we heard sung "God Save The Queen" (our national anthem from 1788 to 1984; now the Royal Hymn) and the Recessional (Kipling's poem for Victoria's Diamond Jubilee, later the Imperial Hymn).

ANZAC Day does not dwell upon the failures of the Gallipoli landings - the background to which is served by monumental incompetence - but instead celebrates our involvement in a number of campaigns that helped define a nation.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England's foam

In other news, gosh it's nice that we're all one big family. I suppose we could have that shared purpose, history, culture and tradition - or a silly war of independence and an overblown sense of our own importance.

Hard to say.

 

My GP was so negligent that when I got Shingles in my eye's I could have gone blind.

I was left for three months without receiving the correct treatment and eventually by the middle of March I'd had enough and payed to see an Ophthalmologist privately.

As well as Shingles, I also had bacterial infections deep within my eyes, which could have effected my sight. I was put on a shopping list of (very strong) antibiotics, anti-viral tablets and steroids,

Bad enough, but what really annoyed me was when the consultant confirmed my GP should have referred me to a Consultant as a matter of urgency - Apparently all cases of suspected Shingles in the eye's is an automatic, urgent referral.

I suspect my GP didn't bother because it was near Christmas and could he couldn't be bothered writing the letter. As I say, over-paid, lazy and complacent.

 

Brave, brave guys. We Brits should observe the day to remember their sacrifice and the hand we had in the incompetence that made the landings such a disaster. I feel bad for not going to the Hyde Park memorial at dawn. I'll set a better example to my fellow Brits next year.

 

Holy **** that's some dangerous complacency/incompetence right there. Sorry you had to go through that.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

 

True, but we Londoners get really intense about that ****.

 

Just because: