99 Reasons Why Star Wars is Better Than Star Trek

Discussion in 'Reading, PA' started by JasterM, Feb 19, 2004.

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  1. JasterM Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2003
    Thought most of you would enjoy this. I wrote it a couple years ago and just remembered about it:

    1.) "Imperial Officers never play with their uniforms."

    2.) "Star Wars has no French English speaking bald guy calling the shots."

    3.) "In Star Wars, the Death Star doesn't care if the planet is class M or not."

    4.) "In Star Wars, no one ever drinks Earl Grey tea in the middle of a battle."

    5.) "One word--Lightsabers."

    6.) "Han Solo never heard of the Prime Directive."

    7.) "In Star Trek, the Borg were constantly adapting to weapons fire, In Star Wars, they couldn't adapt to a pissed off Wookie."

    8.)"The Enterprise doesn't have hidden cargo compartments."

    9.)"Picard takes the Enterprise through an asteroid field at one quarter impulse--Han Solo floors it."

    10.) "In Star Wars, the New Republic isn't afraid to let women have leadership roles."

    11.) "The Federation doesn't have the nerve to turn over control of their fleet to a guy who was a smuggler last month."

    12.) "Admiral Ackbar could kick the snot out of Captain Picard."

    13.) "In Star Trek, Picard is constantly annoyed by the antics of Q, in Star Wars, that would last about 3 seconds before Q found a smoking hole where his chest used to be."

    14.) "How fast can the ENTERPRISE do the Kessel Run?"

    15.) "In Star Wars, Leia endured hours of painful interrogation and still came out looking desirable, Captain Picard endured hours of interrogation by the Cardassians and came out looking like hell."

    16.) "In Star Wars, the Clone Wars were of epic proportion, affecting the entire Galaxy and just plain nifty ... a clone of Riker fighting Riker just doesn't cut it."

    17.) "The Rebel Alliance was a highly trained fighting militia, just what the heck was the Federation?"

    18.) "In Star Trek, they?re always looking for the peaceful way out, in Star Wars, there?s no peace treaty between the Empire and the Rebel Alliance."

    19.) "Anything that the holodeck can come up with is boring compared to what's actually going on in Star Wars."

    20.) "Luke Skywalker doesn't try to flirt with every alien woman he meets like a certain Captain Kirk."

    21.) "In Star Wars, no one makes Chewie wear a human's Rebel uniform. Worf should think about this."

    22.) "Death Star vs. Klingon Bird-Of-Prey, you do the math."

    23.) "If LaForge were in Star Wars, 2 days in a bacta tank would replace those foolish glasses of his."

    24.) "Riker had to buy 'Lando Calrissian's Guide To Picking Up Ladies.'"

    25.) "Star Wars doesn?t have Whoopi Goldberg dressed up in a huge purple suit giving advice to everyone at the bar."

    26.) "C-3PO at least LOOKS like a droid...what the heck is Data doing?"

    27.) "Stars Wars has the Force, and Star Trek has the Prime Directive ... which would you rather have at your disposal?"

    28.) "Would you rather have 10,000 Jedi protecting the Galaxy, or Captain Kirk and Spock?"

    29.) "In Star Wars, the guys that get killed fighting the Death Star have names."

    30.) "In Star Trek, to fix something you need to know about Dilythium Crystals and Anti-matter enducers and Isolinear Chips and etc. In Star Wars, the only thing you need to know is that THIS one goes here, THAT one goes there!!"

    31.) "The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of twenty just to go into warp--the Millennium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie."

    32.) "Captain Picard only cried like a baby in a vineyard after becoming evil and then returning to the forces of Good. Anakin Skywalker kicked the Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy's butt."


    33.) "I?ve never seen anyone in Star Wars proclaim they knew a ship like the back of their hand, then proceed to bump his head on part of the ceiling."

    34.) "Throughout the course of the movie, C-3PO isn't trying to explore his sexuality or any other emotions, like a certain android frequently does."

    35.) "Jek Porkins could fit in an X-Wing.....unlike Scotty."

    36.) "Obi-Wan Kenobi does justice to his British accent....much unlike a certain Federation Starfleet
  2. HanSolo29 Manager Emeritus + Official Star Wars Artist

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2001
    star 6
    [face_laugh] LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Those are really great! Thanks for posting it! :D
  3. Crazed_Ewok Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2002
    star 3
    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I especially liked 71 :p
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