Before A Brief Encounter / Eine kurze Begegnung - Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan (One-Shot)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Fifilla, Feb 14, 2007.

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  1. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Title: A Brief Encounter / Eine kurze Begegnung
    Author: Fifilla
    Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan meet a little girl.
    Timeframe: JA, Obi-Wan is 14
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
    Notes: This is my very first (and probably last) attempt to write a story. English is not my native language (that?s why I will post the story again in German below) and I didn?t have a beta, so please forgive me my mistakes! But I wrote this story today and wanted it to be online before I lost my courage to publish it. See further explanation below.
    Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Qui-Gon Jinn or Obi-Wan Kenobi, they belong to Lucasfilm and George Lucas. I used one or two phrases from Episode II ? Attack of the Clones, I don?t own this quotes. Aurelia, the little girl, is my own creation.


    * * * * * * * * * *


    A Brief Encounter

    ?I apologize for Aurelia disturbing you, Master Jedi? said the young woman shyly. Then she added in a far more impatient tone ?Aurelia, now back in our compartment!?

    Qui-Gon turned away his gaze from the little dark-haired girl and and faced the woman who had spoken just now. ?Oh, no, no, I didn?t feel disturbed!? ?We had lots of fun, hadn?t we, Aurelia?? he added towards the about one-year-old girl, who was standing before him and watched him expectantly with big dark eyes.

    Qui-Gon knew that it was time to let go the little girl with his mother. Obi-Wan, his 14-year-old Padawan, already appeared to be a little on edge from the girl?s loud giggling and either stared out of the window or at his Master. Since the little girl entered their compartment about twenty minutes ago, Qui-Gon levitated a few pebbles he found deep down in his cape with the Force. The girl ? Qui-Gon knew now that her name was Aurelia ? looked spellbound how the pebbles twisted in the air. Now and then she let out a high and shrill giggling that sounded so very infectious that Qui-Gon couldn?t help but also started to laugh. The girl?s high giggling mixed with Qui-Gon?s humming bass sounded so happy that the other passengers suddenly looked a lot friendlier than before.

    Obi-Wan wondered why all little children seemed to get stuck on Qui-Gon. He was surprised that they didn?t think him terrifying or menacing. But when he thought about it, he had to admit that he never felt afraid in the presence of his Master. Close to Qui-Gon he always had the feeling of being especially protected and patronized. Close to Qui-Gon he could fight all the dangers in the galaxy. Perhaps it was this comforting feeling of security that attracts the children. Or it was the fact that he ? like now ? always conjured the most fascinating things from his pockets and entertained the children with his little tricks. And then there is Qui-Gon?s funny way to whistle, Obi-Wan thought. No, it?s not really a whistle? it?s more a squeak. For this, Qui-Gon pressed his lips together, bloated his cheeks and then made this indefinable squeak. This kind of squeaking didn?t just attract children, but also animals of any kind and size. Obi-Wan secretly tried all too often to reproduce this sound, but so far without success. He didn?t manage to make a squeak that sounded roughly like Qui-Gon?s, all he got was a very red head.

    For the last time, Qui-Gon levitated the stones and absorbed greedily the girl?s bright giggling.

    ?Aurelia didn?t disturb us!? emphasized Qui-Gon again. ?On the contrary, I want to thank you. Only very prosperous children are able to radiate and pass such an unstrained happiness. Thank you very much for giving birth to such a child. Watch over Aurelia that she will be the same happy adult as she is now a child.?

    The young woman smiled uncertain and a bit embarrassed, nodded curtly, picked up her little daughter and disappeared in the neighbouring compartment. Qui-Gon winked one last time at Aurelia, which earned him a last giggling that faded away the moment the compartment door was shut.

    Qui-Gon turned his head and looked out of the window, his expression suddenly th
  2. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    That was really cute, and pretty darn good for being written in a second language!
  3. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    Awww! :D This was a lovely story, Fifilla. You didn't need to be nervous!

    Close to Qui-Gon he could fight all the dangers in the galaxy.

    I loved this line. You capture the close relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan well in this story.

    But we are Jedi. We have made a commitment to the order, a commitment not easily broken. We don?t have biological children but we have our apprentices, who we teach? and love, he added in thoughts. ?And together we work to make the galaxy a more secure and peaceful place for children like this little girl to grow up carefree and secure to raise their own children when the time comes.

    This was my favorite part. It's a perfect statement of a Jedi's duty. :) I've always thought it sad that Jedi can't raise families of their own, but...well, Qui-Gon said it best. ;) Jedi can find fulfillment in the knowledge that what they do helps others raise their families in a safe environment.

    I'm glad you posted this! I can't imagine writing a whole story in a foreign language, so many thanks to you for taking the time and effort to put this story in English. It may have a few grammatical errors, but a good beta could help you work through those, and the story you're telling is a good one. Please keep writing and posting! As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. ;)
  4. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    What a lovely story, I'm so glad you posted it. Really you have no need to worry. I loved how you wrote Qui-Gon...

    ?But we are Jedi. We have made a commitment to the order, a commitment not easily broken. We don?t have biological children but we have our apprentices, who we teach? and love, he added in thoughts. ?And together we work to make the galaxy a more secure and peaceful place for children like this little girl to grow up carefree and secure to raise their own children when the time comes. This is our task in the galaxy, Padawan, and this task is important and appropriate!? He glanced earnestly at Obi-Wan who now no longer looked irritated but rather understanding. ?And if fulfilling this task means to abandon a family and children, I make this sacrifice without hesitation.?

    :D Beautifully done.

    Thanks for sharing =D=
  5. micky-nikki Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 1
    That was so good! I hope you write more, you're a very good writer. I loved the interaction between Qui-Gon and the little girl. [face_love] Excellent job, and I hope to see more of your writing in the future.
  6. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5

    ?But we are Jedi. We have made a commitment to the order, a commitment not easily broken. We don?t have biological children but we have our apprentices, who we teach? and love, he added in thoughts. ?And together we work to make the galaxy a more secure and peaceful place for children like this little girl to grow up carefree and secure to raise their own children when the time comes. This is our task in the galaxy, Padawan, and this task is important and appropriate!? He glanced earnestly at Obi-Wan who now no longer looked irritated but rather understanding. ?And if fulfilling this task means to abandon a family and children, I make this sacrifice without hesitation.?

    Obi-Wan nodded and Qui-Gon turned to the window and watched the passing stars in the endless space. But nevertheless, sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have children.

    From the neighbouring compartment you could hear once more the little girl?s happy laughter.

    THE END


    What a wonderful little story and Qui-Gon's explanation to Obi-Wan of his own choices there was very well done :) Excellent little vignette, and I would never have guessed that English wasn't your first language if you had not said something :) Well done! =D==D=
  7. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was adorable. If you hadn't said anything, I would never have known that English wasn't your first language. I liked that Qui-Gon was entertaining the child and making her laugh. Really cute.

    Great job.
  8. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    To all of you:
    [:D] Thank you very, very much! I?m so happy that you enjoyed my story! And thank you very much for your kind reviews! [face_blush] I was so happy when I saw all your reviews! [face_dancing] 8-} :D


    Valairy_Scot:
    That was really cute, and pretty darn good for being written in a second language!
    Thank you very, very much! I love your stories and it?s really a very great compliment for me if you like my little story!


    Nienna_Narmolanya:
    Awww! :DThis was a lovely story, Fifilla. You didn't need to be nervous!
    Thank you!!!

    You capture the close relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan well in this story.
    I always love stories that show the relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. I think that the movies neglect this aspect very much.

    I'm glad you posted this! I can't imagine writing a whole story in a foreign language, so many thanks to you for taking the time and effort to put this story in English. It may have a few grammatical errors, but a good beta could help you work through those, and the story you're telling is a good one. Please keep writing and posting! As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. ;)
    Thanks again! I read so many English stories here that my German version seems a bit awkward, even in my ears. I think if I will write more stories, it will definitely be in English! And if there will be a next time I promise I will look for a beta to help me! ;)


    Kestrel_Kenobi:
    What a lovely story, I'm so glad you posted it. Really you have no need to worry. I loved how you wrote Qui-Gon...
    :D Beautifully done.
    Thanks for sharing =D=

    Thank you for reading! I?m very glad you liked it! There are so many excellent writers here in this forum, I never thought I would post something by myself.


    micky-nikki:
    That was so good! I hope you write more, you're a very good writer. I loved the interaction between Qui-Gon and the little girl. [face_love] Excellent job, and I hope to see more of your writing in the future.
    I fear that there are too little good ideas in my mind to write more stories. :confused: This one just emerged because I was sitting in a train, I was very bored and then I watched that little girl.
    But thank you very much for reading and for your compliments! And who knows, perhaps some day I will write another story. :)


    Layren:
    What a wonderful little story and Qui-Gon's explanation to Obi-Wan of his own choices there was very well done :) Excellent little vignette, and I would never have guessed that English wasn't your first language if you had not said something :) Well done! =D= =D=
    Thank you!
    I work for a small international company and many of my colleagues are from Great Britain or South Africa. Most of the day I?m forced to read or speak English (which has a lot of advantages ? i.e. being able to understand the stories in this forum ;)). But writing in English is far more difficult than just reading or speaking. I?m very glad you liked my little story!


    dianethx:
    That was adorable. If you hadn't said anything, I would never have known that English wasn't your first language. I liked that Qui-Gon was entertaining the child and making her laugh. Really cute.
    Great job.

    Thanks a lot!
    It?s funny: when I was in school (a long time ago ;)) I never enjoyed English very much, I always preferred French. But now it?s almost natural for me to speak English.
  9. joanne_jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2006
    I certainly hope this wasn't your last attempt at writing a story, this was a lovely read. I can imagine Qui-Gon entertaining children like that. The wistful thoughts of never fathering a child seemed perfectly in character too.

    Good job. =D=
  10. azizah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2006
    star 1
    Lovely story. I loved it that even though Qui-Gon said that the sacrifice was worth it he still wondered...

    Obi-Wan nodded and Qui-Gon turned to the window and watched the passing stars in the endless space. But nevertheless, sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have children.

    I hope you are bored on your next train ride and come up with something just as sweet.
  11. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    joanne_jinn:
    I certainly hope this wasn't your last attempt at writing a story, this was a lovely read. I can imagine Qui-Gon entertaining children like that. The wistful thoughts of never fathering a child seemed perfectly in character too.
    Good job. =D=

    Thank you very much!
    I must admit that after publishing this first story I'm a bit addicted... hopefully I soon will have some good ideas for a new story :)

    azizah:
    Lovely story. I loved it that even though Qui-Gon said that the sacrifice was worth it he still wondered...
    I hope you are bored on your next train ride and come up with something just as sweet.

    Thanks for the review!
    Every time when I go somewhere by train, the trains are behind schedule and I have to wait and wait and wait :mad: So perhaps the chances for a new story a higher than I thought ;)
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