Saga A Brother Lost, OC's Pre-AOTC, Now a novella, updated 7/11

My next big plot changer, Dooku, Baby Anakin, etc


SW=Lucas


begin

A dark ship floated down onto the hot sands of Tatooine. A man stepped down out of the ship behind a holo-walker bearing an image of a robed figure. They appeared to be conversing.

?You are sure he was born here, milord?? The real one asked.

?Do you doubt me, Lord Tyranus? I felt the boy?s birth: a veritable shockwave in the Force. No; there is no question, he is here.? The fuzzy image retorted.

?But the idea of a child, birthed of the Force, is astounding, Master? said the one called Tyranus, ?But if he was born of the Force, he must be the chosen one. There could be no other.?

?Good, Tyranus. Find the child, and bring him back. He will make a fine student.? With that, the holo died, and Tyranus was left to his own devices. Tyranus noted how Sidious, for that was the robed man, had used student instead of apprentice. Granted, treachery was the way of the Sith, but Tyranus didn?t want to be the one betrayed. Still, the child must be found: it was the will of the Force.

Tyranus opened the storage unit on the ship and pulled out his personal speeder. What an odd place for the Chosen One to appear: a seedy little desert port, known as Mos Eisley. Tyranus mounted the speeder and flew off into the night.

** ** ** ** **

Tyranus spent the whole night looking around the city, asking if there were any children born recently, probing with the Force. Finally, early the next morning, he reached a junk shop, run by a rude Toydarian.

?Excuse me, sir,? began Tyranus, ?I was wondering if I might speak with you?privately.?

The Toydarian, called Watto, flitted around on his disgusting wings. ?Yeah, sure, in-a the back-a, huh??

Watto led Tyranus into what must have been a private office. Watto proffered a chair, but at the state of the room, Tyranus was afraid to touch anything.

?Allow me to introduce myself, sir.? He began, ?My name is Tyranus. Something has led me here, to your shop. I am looking for-? he was abruptly cut off as the winged creature flew up and said, ?The best-a deals-a in Mos-Eisley, heh? I knew it-a. Watto, me boy-a, you?re-a great-a business being.?

Just as Watto began to congratulate himself, Tyranus lost patience and Force-pushed him back in his seat. ?No, Watto, I am looking for a child! I have no care for your foolish deals, and crappy, old droids, and you probably don?t even have a business license!?

Watto scowled and seemed to not notice the Force-push. ?You-eh looking for a child, eh? My slave-a gave birth-a a few days ago. The child-a is mine. It?s in the-a rules-a.?

Tyranus rose to his full height, allowing himself to be filled with this outrageous being?s anger and hate. He drew his crimson lightsaber and pointed it at the Toydarian. ?Need I ask again, creature? Give me the child!?

Watto shrank back in fear, almost reaching for a blaster on the desk. Tyranus?s eyes narrowed and Watto squeaked.

?Alright-a! I-eh take-eh you to the baby, you-a grease-a my palm to make up my-a loss of an employee-a, heh??

Tyranus rolled his eyes and switched off his blade. ?Fine, you disgusting cretin, whatever you say.?

Watto?s formerly gloomy mood all but disappeared. ?Good, good-a, the brats-a this-a way. When-a do I get-a my credits-a, huh?

Watto led Tyranus to a shabby apartment behind the shop. A young mother stood in the open doorway, enjoying the sun. The setting was about as tranquil as Tatooine could be. The Toydarian broke it by shouting.

?Hey, Shmi! Where?s your kid-a? And why aren?t you-a working, huh? No time for daydreaming. Some Jedi, or something, he?s-a here-a to-a see-a your baby.?

Shmi looked up, and Tyranus sensed a fierce determination rise in her. She would fight to protect what she loved.

Tyranus had never understood love. Appreciation, of course, fondness, certainly: but love was a fickle thing. He Shrugged off the momentary doubts and introduced himself.

?Good day, Madame! My name is Tyranus.?

?Shmi? she said, shaki

 

Re-mounting the speeder, Tyranus clutched baby Anakin to his ribs. Master Sidious will be pleased, he thought, The Chosen One will be raised a Sith.
Wow! That definitely should change things! You've got a very interesting start and I hope you decide to continue!

 

Thanks, dancing star. Now, TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS, VERY IMPORTANT!


I am not sure how tocontinue with this story. So far, I've given myself some options

a.) settle in to write a novel, including a re-write of famous parts and intricate details of Anakins training
b.) write one more adventure with Ani fighting Obi-wan or Palpy or Ventress
c.) write a series of vignettes with Ani killing Jedi, or the Sith academy on Korriban
d.) all of the above
e.) other

 

I'd suggest another vignette about Aankin growing up as a Sith, and his struggles over accepting the Dark Side over the Light Side (although he chooses the Dark Side, it would make the story more interesting).

 

Oh, I don't know, actually it'd probably be more interesting if you had him reject the dark side in the end. Everybody would assume he was doomed, but the important thing to remember is that (while some people whine about this) it's actually good writing when someone's greatest strength and greatest failing are connected. Anakin didn't take well to the distance the Jedi asked him to keep instead of flinging himself at people (with the accompanying tendency to impale himself on them, emotionally), but I don't think he'd ultimately take well to the different type of distance the Sith would tend to demand. Although it'd be tricky what with taking him away from Shmi's good influence so early.

Then again, I suppose it might depend on what you do with Tyranus. You've changed his history and characterization pretty drastically already, of course, so it's hard to guess. It might depend on what you've had drive him to the Sith so early (instead of leaving after TPM!) and whether you're keeping the idealism (being dissatisfied with the compromises the Jedi had to make, and their failures, seems to have been a lot of what drove him away) and the lingering habits from his Jedi training that he shows canonically. One interesting option, but very complicated to carry off, would be to have him and Anakin actually be a good influence on each other. They could kill off Palpatine at some point upon realizing that his desires for the galaxy really aren't what either of them are looking for (that would of course require that Palpatine keep Tyranus around for a while and maybe put him in charge of looking after the kid, since otherwise Anakin's desires would probably be more shaped by Sidious's real ones than they were in canon) and then... go off and try to remake the galaxy in their own way, which would probably be fairly terrifying even when it's not actually malicious, and maaaaaybe end up fumbling their way back toward the light.

 

I vote for A.

I think it woudl be intresting to see his Sith training.

 

I decided on A.) here it is... chapter 1

Disclaimer: I is not Lucas, and Lucas=SW

Chapter 1

A young man stepped off the loading ramp of the transport, weeding some coins out of his grubby pocket and handing them to the open-handed captain. The man spat at the captain?s feet, his eye?s radiating contempt.

The man, with his long brown-blond hair, cloudy blue eyes, and firm jaw, would have looked like a holodrama star if not for his dirty features, prosthetic arm, and out-of-fashion tunic. However, his appearance fit right in with the dirty Ryloth spaceport. Twi?lek females hit on spacers and pilots, and the males of the species were busy loan sharking and doing the Black Sun?s business. The Black Sun was, as it happened, the reason for the man?s arrival here.

The man looked around while shrugging off his jacket, perfect for cold space travel but useless in Ryloth?s heat. He spied the spaceport?s bar and sauntered on over, pulling up a bar stool.

?Jawa Juice? he said, tapping the bartenders back. The big man turned around, frowning. ?No drinks without a name first, outlander. We don?t like strangers here.? The bartender growled and opened his palm for the stranger?s identicard.

?Well, welcome to Lothy Spaceport, Das Antino. I?ll get your drink.? The tender handed Das his card back.
As the bartender readied the Tusken Tonic for oxidation in the Jawa Juice, Das spun the stool around, eyeing the bar?s patrons. Two Shistavenen growled and barked in a back corner, and a Bothan lit up some glitterstim nearby. A table full of giggling Twi?leks laughed again and banged their table as the Rodian server walked over.
As Das watched, an Judicial patrol walked past the entrance, stopping to escort the Bothan to a prison cell. A group of Trandoshan males in fine clothing came in and took the Bothan?s place, talking amongst themselves and gazing around at the patrons, occasionally waving.

The bartender grunted and handed Das his drink. When he turned around again, the Trandoshans had crowded around him, effectively trapping him against the bar. Das attempted to spin around again, but his aggressors held him in place.

?Well well well, ladz, looks like we got us some freshzzz meat. Whatz your name, new guy?? The Trandoshans alternated between licking their lips and hissing, sending their forked tounges flying. Das backed as far up against the bar as possible, fear evident on his face. Trandoshans hunted Wookies, for crying out loud, Wookies! Imagine what they could do to a young human male?

?Das?Das Antino! Please, I?m just looking for work! Don?t hurt me, please!? Das managed to squeak out the words behind a shadow of false fear. He smiled inwardly; he?d killed bigger bruisers than this.

Instantly, the mood changed. The lizard-men backed off slightly, and their moods changed from hostile to opportunistic. ?Our apologiez, Antino. Usually, the newbz come with trouble.? They escorted him back to their table. Must have been an odd sight, 6 giant Trandoshans all sitting around a young human.

?If you?re looking for work, Antino, we might be able to help? The one who spoke was the largest, and apparently the leader. ?That izz, if you don?t mind working some?shady characterzz working some shady business?? Das grinned, that was exactly what he was looking for. He grinned.

?Tell me more??

** ** ** ** **

The long and short of it was this: The Trandoshans worked for a sub-group of the Black Sun, a huge galaxy-spanning criminal organization. They needed an extra hand bringing in some stolen, illegal starfighter weapons. Das agreed, his whole purpose in coming to Ryloth to permanently destroy the Black Sun.

The lizard-people met up with Das at the spaceport in a bay partially abandoned at 2300. A modified YT-1600 medium freighter sat in the middle of the floor. Trandoshans traversed up and down the loading ramp, carrying heavy boxes. Their leader, who had revealed himself as one Junta Reelo, set down his package on a repulse-sled and walked over.

?Now listen, new guy. I

 

What, no readers? Aye-yi-yi...




Chapter 2

For the next couple of days, Das, aka Anakin, spent the money he earned from the night the Judicials raided. Most of the money went to more appropriate clothing for his work with the Black Sun, but he bought a vibroknife, as he had trained using one for several years under the best tutors that Dooku could find.

4 days after the raid, Junta met him in the Lothy Spaceport cantina. Das listened to the Trandoshan?s approval while sipping a Tusken Tonic. Junta, he noticed, stuck to Scale Ale, a Dosh brew.

?You did good on the raid, rookie. Ghartan values merit. So-?he was abruptly interrupted as Das posed a question.

?Wait a sec, Junta. Who?s this Ghartan guy?? Das took another sip of the Tonic, savoring its smoky flavor.

Junta made a noise deep in his throat. If Das had been educated on Trandoshan culture, he would have recognized the embarrassment hidden in the sound. ?He izz our bozz, leader of the Black Zun in this region of Ryloth. Ghartan makes the world spin ?round in this area. Anyway, he likez merit in rookies, and he wantz you to go along with my crew and one of his debt collectors, de Soto.? Junta made a horrible grin and laughed a dry, hissing laugh. ?De Soto is a fierze one. I would enjoy hunting him, zometime.?

Das smiled inwardly. The closer he got to Black Sun leadership, the better. ?So when do we meet up with this character, anyway? Stuff?s getting boring with all the Judicials gone.? Junta checked a pocket chrono.

?Now?

** ** ** ** **

It turns out that de Soto was one of the Shistavenen from the bar Das had seen earlier in the week. Shistavenen were barely seen throughout the galaxy, being xenophobic. Plus, their appearance was enough to want them off your world in a hurry. However, de Soto was the exception that proved the rule.

Das sized the wolf-man up. Half of his left ear was gone, and scars laced their way up his huge, brawny frame. From beneath a feral smile, deadly fangs glistened with saliva, dripping onto his tight black shirt and landing at his barefoot, furry, clawed feet. Standing at least 2 and a half meters, de Soto was one of the tallest creatures Das had ever seen. Probably the most heavily armed, too.

A large sleeve blaster, a holstered carbine at the hip, a giant beskad at his shoulder, a variety of grenades and ammo on a bandolier, and a big slug thrower in his hand. There was even the shape of a hold-out blaster on the inside of his sleeve. Wow. Enough ordinance to take out half the planet.

?Names de Soto. Heard you shot good at the raid few nights back.? De Soto stooped over a bit to shake Das?s hand. He spoke in a flat, low, growly kind of voice. ?Enough pleasantries. Ghartan?s discovered someone?s been skimming some off the top of our funds, and the main suspect is Crag, an accountant and lousy thief. We got to go?persuade him to get the dough back.?

Das spoke up, acting his part with a well-placed question.?Why do you need all of us to help? You look like you can take on some pencil-pusher just fine.? De Soto stalked over to the smallish human.

?Because, rookie, Crag probably doesn?t have the bread. I got to have some people to strip his house looking for it. Any more questions?? As he spoke, the lupine got so close to Das that he was forced to bend over backward. ?No? Good.?

When I finally reveal myself, Das thought, He?ll be the first I recruit to Tyranus?s and the Chancellor?s cause.

Many Sith would have killed such a dangerous being when they revealed themselves, but Anakin thought differently. He had learned mercy was one of the qualities of a gentleman, like himself and Dooku and the Chancellor.

Eventually, the group reached one of the few houses in Lothy spaceport. It was kept neat, with flamboyant red paint and greenish fungus?s, trimmed to resemble shrubbery and grass. Junta nudged de Soto. ?You are right, furry one.? He hissed.?Thiz one is rich beyond his position. He must answer.?

De Soto rang the alarm. They stood, listening to it reverberate t

 

Well, it certainly is different. Keep me updated, will you?

 

Very interesting!!

 

This fic is really good . The plot is very original and the characters and I'm really want to find out what happens next.

 

Sorry yall, I got into Rping on thestarwarsrp.com and I haven't felt inspired enough to write more...will come up with soemthing tho, I promise.

 

This is a really interesting story, bobafett15!! I can't wait till you update!!

"Das hesitated a second before realizing that saving de Soto would earn him a bunch of brownie points with Ghartan, when he met him."