Before - Legends ~*A Change in Destiny An Ani/Ami/OC love triangle AU story*~ *AUTHOR'S BACK!!*

Hey where did my last post go?

EDIT: Oh there it was.

 

We had the A/P, now lining up for the A/A

I have a feeling the A/A is going to be more touchy-feely.

 

Moving on up.....to the top of the board! lol.

 

C3SoloPO: And now that Anakin knows Padmé's secret, the AU really gets to begin! lol, I'm glad you like the story so much!

Ryan: I can't abandon the entire A/P romance entirely. (They won't get together, but they won't hate each other, either.) Thanks so much for the up!

Joe: Check out the first line of my sig. I don't think all of Anakin's decisions were stupid (I admit, the whole riding of the shaak thing was a bit odd, but he love does crazy things to people.), but some of them were a bit strange. I'm glad you like the story.

benknobi1: I have a feeling the A/A is going to be more touchy-feely. Of course.


I'm leaving for vacation in a couple of hours, so there won't be a new post until the end of next week. (It'll be long and mushy, though! )

 

-Up-

Hope you're having fun Heather!

 

MS: where are you goin?

 

Ryan: Thanks for the up!

benknobi1: I went to Flagstaff, but I'm back now.


There will be a new post up sometime this weekend. Thanks for being patient!

 

Can't wait for the post!

Up with you, thread!

 

Dinner in the Skywalker household was exceptionally awkward, considering the variety of the diners. Sitting at the table was one obnoxious Gungan, two Jedi, the current Queen of Naboo disquised as a handmaiden, two slaves, and an astromech droid.

Hardly anyone talked during the first ten minutes of dinner.

Finally, Audrey broke the silence. "So, Anakin, do you like building things?"

This perked the boy up immensely. "It's what I do best."

The Jedi girl smiled, and reached for the last fruit on the table. Coincidentally, Anakin reached for one at the exact same time, and their hands met in the bowl, Anakin's on top of Audrey's. They glanced at each other from across the table for a moment before speaking.

"Here, you have it." Audrey gestured towards the fruit, but Anakin shook his head.

"No, you reached first, you have it."

"No, I insist."

"So do I."

The other table guests stopped eating and watched the two go back and forth over who should take a small fruit.

Obivious to the stares, the two kept arguing.

"No, you take it, really. I don't want it." Anakin insisted.

"Should we split it?" Audrey suggested, and Anakin nodded. Audrey cut the fruit in half and handed a half to the boy, who smiled in return, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Anakin."

"Call me Ani."

Audrey smiled. "You're welcome, Ani." She picked up her fork and ate a piece of the fruit. As she looked around the table, she became aware that everyone was staring at her and Ani.

"What?" She asked, looking at Qui-Gon.

He shrugged. "Oh, nothing." He resumed eating, as did everyone else.

***

"Is there anyone who is willing to help us out?" Qui-Gon asked once the plates were cleared from the table.

Shmi shook her face, a look of sympathy on her face. "No, I'm afraid not."

"Is there another way we can obtain the part we need other than borrowing money?"

"The only other option would be to bet on the podrace the day after tomorrow." Anakin added. He was sitting across the table from Audrey, and stole a glance over at her whenever she wasn't looking.

Shmi nodded. "Everything revolves around those podraces."

"Is there a racer who would be willing to share the prize money?"

Shmi shook her head. "No, I'm afraid--"

She was cut off by her son. "Mom, I can do it! I can race for them! Please mom, I'm the only one who can help them!"

Shmi was silent for a few moments, pondering the situation. Finally, she gave in. "Alright. I may not like it, but you can help them."

Anakin raised his fist in the air in triumph. "Yahoo! I've been building my own pod for months now. I'll show it to you in the morning."

"Speaking of which, it's getting late. Do you all need a place to stay for the night?"

"If it's not too much trouble, yes."

"You'll have to sleep on the floor, is that okay?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "That's fine. Thank you so much."

Shmi smiled. "You're welcome. Come on, Ani, you need your rest." She said as Anakin yawned.

"Alright, alright." He stood up from the table. "Goodnight, Qui-Gon, Padmé, Jar-Jar, and...Audrey. See you in the morning." He turned and followed his mother down the small hallway into his room, stealing one last glance at Audrey, a grin on his face.

***

As he lay in his bed, Anakin suddenly got an idea. he bolted out of bed and got a small square of a special type of wood and began carving, thinking of what he was going to say when he gave it to her.


***

The next post will be up on Thursday!

 

Loved it, loved it, loved it!

That was soooo awesome! Great job Heather!

 

This is sooo great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I loved the little interaction between Anakin and Audrey...I can just picture the look on Qui-Gon's face...priceless!!

Did you have a fun time in Flagstaff Heather? Was it nice?


MOre soon!!

 

hmmmmmmm, feelings for anakin, audry has, hmmmmmm, improper for jedi, that is, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, meditate on this, I WILL!

fun time you have at flagstaff?

 

Very very GOOD!

 

Ryan: Thanks, I enjoyed writing the Ani/Audrey mush! (and I'm glad you liked it! )

C3SoloPO: lol, thanks! And I had a blast in Flagstaff! It's wonderful up there (and so much cooler than down in Tucson!)

benknobi1: lol, but Anakin was never meant to follow Jedi rules, was he? Yep, I had fun!

Joe: Thank you!


Sorry for not posting on Thursday like I said I would (I've been so busy lately it just slipped my mind! ) I'm going to go practice driving in a few minutes (yay!! ), and I'll either post tonight or tomorrow!

 

monica: hope your practice goes well

dosen't it stink that you have to be 16 before you can drive.

 

benknobi1: Thanks, it went pretty good. (and yes, it does stink that you have to be 16!)

Here's the post!

***

As the night wore on, Anakin continued to carve into the jabor, hoping that Audrey would like the necklace.

"Wait a minute..." He murmured to himself. He carved the last mark in the small square and rested it in his left palm, examining his handiwork. *It's perfect. I just hope she'll like it.* He thought, and carefully set the necklace aside on his workbench. Anakin then picked up yet another piece of wood and began carving yet another snippet, not quite understanding why he was doing so.

***

As the early rays of dawn peaked above the horizon, Anakin finished the last snippet, his hands completely exhausted. He walked over to his bed and lay down, falling asleep immediately.

***

A few hours later...

600 standard hours

***

"Anakin!! Anakin!" Shmi yelled from the kitchen. She looked over at her guests, who were seated at the table eating their breakfast, and sighed. "Do any of you know where Anakin might be? It's unlike him to be so late to breakfast."

Audrey got up from her seat. "I bet I know where he is, ma'am." She replied as she left the room.

She walked down the narrow hallway until she got to Anakin's room. The door was shut, so she knocked softly. "Anakin? Anakin, are you awake?"

No response came.

"Anakin?" Sensing no danger, she slowly opened the door, and saw that Anakin was still sound asleep. She walked to the side of his bed, and shook him slightly. "Anakin, you've got to wake up!" she whispered.

He turned towards her slightly, and his eyes fluttered open. "Audrey?" he whispered, and the Jedi nodded, a smile coming across her face.

"Your mother was wondering where you are. Breakfast is on the table. I'll leave you to get changed." She turned and shut his door, trying to wipe the huge grin off of her face.

***

Anakin watched as Audrey walked away, mentally kicking himself for not giving her the necklace. He quickly got dressed and ran into the kitchen, and sat in the empty chair (which also happened to be next to Audrey).

"Well good morning, Anakin." Qui-Gon greeted, eating a piece of bread. "I trust you slept well."

Anakin nodded. "Of course."

The elder man just nodded, and Anakin got the feeling that he had known what he did last night.

***

"I would like to enter the boy in the local podrace this afternoon."

Watto's eyes bulged, and he chuckled. "But what pod would the boy use? He totaled mine in the last race."

"That's only because Sebulba pushed me off the track. I saved the ship...mostly." Anakin added.

"I have a pod the boy can use." Qui-Gon replied, and Watto scratched the top of his head, pondering what the Jedi was saying.

"Let's see, you provide the pod, I provide the boy. We'll still need the entry fee."

"My ship will be the entry fee." Qui-Gon answered, showing the Toydorian the holo of the ship. "But if we're going to split the winnings fifty-fifty, you're going to have to give a bit more than that."

Watto's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean? That'sa good bargin."

"If the boy wins, you give me the parts I need for my ship."

"And if he looses?"

"You keep my ship." Now it was Anakin's eyes who widened. *He's betting his whole ship on me?!*

Watto flapped his wings excitedly. *This guy is crazy! Anakin will never win!* "Deal." The two shook hands, and Qui-Gon turned and left the shop, Anakin right behind him.

***

 

Well that was interesing. So how you doing?

 

Hahaha I loved how he made a second necklace and he didn't know why. Ooh love triangle poor Anakin he's too young to be involved in all that complicated stuff, lol. And Anakin and Audrey are oh-so-cute, hehe. Loved the post.

 

Heh...

He carved the other snippet for Padme methinks.....but WHY I don't know....

Now....is it me..or is our Audrey liking our little Ani?

 

I think the other 'snipet' is a ring that goes inside the necklace.

 

You have a Mary Sue on your hands. Wish fulfillment, eh?

 

annbri: in what way is this story a mary sue?
and what do you mean by wish fulfillment?

 

In what way is this story a Mary Sue?
The descriptions: ?her dazzling blue eyes sparkling with happiness? and ?sparkling, blue eyes that were the color of the sky."

How she distorts canon to the point of taking the place of both Anakin (as the Chosen One) and Padme (as the Love Interest(TM)). AU is all right, but there are logical limits as to how far it can be stretched.

She's perfect (no matter how much she denies it). She's better than Obi-Wan at dueling (Obi-Wan who a few short years later bests Darth Maul, a Sith. Remember, not even Anakin could defeat Dooku.)

She gets to know her mother, even though that caused big problems for Anakin. It's quite likely he would never have turned if the Jedi had caught him as a baby. They wouldn't be stupid enough to let a child interact with the child's mother. Especially the Chosen One.

It's Chosen ONE. Not Chosen TWO.

Also, Anakin didn't walk around proclaiming that he was the Chosen One. She (or someone else) mentions it nearly every chapter.

Why does an AU have to mean that Anakin is suddenly unimportant? He shows up later, becomes the lovestruck pansy of this girl, and takes a second seat. She completely warps canon, makes characters act hideously OOC (Whiny, attitude-prone!Obi, Battle-thinking!Yoda)

As a three-day or so old child, she can nod and reach (babies don't get control of their limbs for a couple months, and even that is tentative.)


Wish fulfillment: It seems that this author (or her padawan) just want to insert themselves into the story. To be so powerful, moreso than Anakin, and to have Anakin fall in love with their contrived little "self."

The writing isn't that horrible. I've seen worse. But it is a Mary Sue.
I suggest that she goes to the Litmus Test: http://theaerie.www2.50megs.com/station/test.html

When I did the test on this character, it got 21 points: 20-34 Mary Sue/Gary Stu. Proceed with greatest caution.

 

Annbri: it's AU, meaning: the author can do whatever he/she wants to the original charachters. I don't mind to much if a charachter is a marysue, you just have to create bigger challenges for the marysue.

 

But AU doesn't give the author a free liscence to write perfect, uber-wonderful characters. And Mary Sues really annoy many people.
If one simply MUST write a Chosen Two fic, why must it also put the characters out of character? AU doesn't mean that you can just name anyone (including whiny padawans) Obi-Wan. AU indicates that you are taking familiar characters and tweaking the world they live in OR tweaking characters and putting them in a familiar world. This does not change the basic attitudes and values structure of the characters. If you're going to tweak both, why use familiar character names at all?

Mary Sues have been known to escape the Red Pen and make it into print/movies. Example: Padme, Mara Jade.
Padme is hidden well enough that she isn't as bad as Mara (whose red-goldness is mentioned quite often). Good writing and a quick plot can mask a Sue. Unfortunately, it rarely happens.