Before A Change of Plans--An O/Q Short Story--COMPLETED 6.4

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LuvEwan, Apr 30, 2004.

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  1. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    A Change of Plans
    By LuvEwan

    This was originally a response to a challenge in the Obi-Wan Character Workshop, created by obi_ew and red_rose_knight, with the subject of Write a scene where Obi-Wan dies. Twelve pages into it, I realized this story wasn?t going where it was initially intended, so it?s now just a short story?which doesn?t mean that I?ve exactly strayed from that topic. You?ll just have to wait and see. Moo hoo ha ha.

    Rating: PG-13

    Summary: An unexpected source of illness seriously threatens the life of Obi-Wan, while his Master fights to prevent tragedy.

    Disclaimer: No recognizable characters/planets, etc. belong to me. I earned no profit from writing this?.cuz let?s face it, who would pay to read this?

    Time Period: Approximately five years prior to TPM

    ^^^ () ^^^
    Obi-Wan remembered flipping through his geography textbook, to the glossy images of lush, jade leaves and clusters of dew-dotted blooms, all beneath a breathtaking sky of flawless turquoise. As a young child, he was intrigued by two atmospheres, strikingly different from the mechanical, programmed Coruscant, and completely contrasting to one another.

    He wanted to explore the desert.

    And he wanted to travel through the looping vines and soft grounds of a jungle.

    His passionate curiosity had not faded with the passing of time. Whenever an assignment led he and his Master to any landscape resembling a jungle, Obi-Wan could not help but satisfy his interest, drinking in every manner of flora and fauna as though they were the glittering, calm water of the streams that wove through the exotic undergrowth.

    Of course, few things were as ideal in person as they were when captured in a holographic image. The beauty was not always so captivating?

    On Eume?Li, such a flattering adjective could in no way apply. Firstly, the palate of color was dulled considerably, for the earth had been drained of moisture in the midst of a terrible drought. The tops of the towering trees, once full and sustaining life of both animal and a variety of plump fruits, were now browned at their drooping ends. Only a few shriveled pits clung to the deteriorating base of their existence.

    The terrain was rough from the lingering dehydration, and most of the wild creatures, outside of the abundant, practically invincible insects, had set forth in search of a more plentiful habitat, leaving a largely deserted wasteland in their wake. Some could not abandon the instinct imbedded within their simple systems, and their open-mouthed carcasses were found too often as the Jedi team made their stoic trek.
    Obi-Wan had to school his features very quickly to prevent a grimace from reaching his face as he caught sight of another small, furry victim of the dire change in climate.

    Knight Ullo Tirr could not contain his disgust. A fairly seasoned warrior entering his third decade, Tirr was a valuable counterpart to the Master/apprentice pair. Within the halls of the Temple, he was regarded as a sage intellect and skilled duelist, well-liked by most. And, just as another rogue Jedi had once been known for, he was very hesitant to take a Padawan. He was completely aware that to be ascended to the level of Master, he would need to train an initiate to knighthood?for now, he could afford to wait. His wavy, obsidian hair reached his neck, and was drawn back in a tie. His olive-tinted face was morose, and he touched his chin, covered in dark bristles, as he often did when troubled. "Such massive loss. And worse, so much of it was preventable. If only the Eume?Li authorities had recognized the dilemma sooner."

    "Indeed." Qui-Gon?s agreement was illustrated with a short nod. His narrowed eyes swept over the dying scenery with typical Jedi keenness . "And the damaging effect on the animal population is twofold. If any species began to die out, it would leave their carnivorous predators without a source of food."
    Possessing a renewed, sharpened perspective of the tragedy, the trio continued walking.

    After a quiet moment
  2. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Intersting! :) Got my attention from the getgo! :D Great start!
  3. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Whoa. Great start. I especially love the OC you've created. I get the feeling he's going to get to see a parent's worry and love up close and personal real soon. His reactions will be interesting. ;)

    Shaindl
  4. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Great start! Like the interaction between Quo-Gon and Obi-Wan. :)
    This mission's in trouble?
    I would say : I have a bad feeling about this! :D
  5. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    ooooooooo :eek: Poor sick suffering Obi! Love it! I've no doubt you will have me in tears here shortly. Like Shaindl I'm very interested in your OC. :)
  6. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Very interesting and rather mystifying. Shivery in your language and way you are playing out the story. Good job. Keep going!
  7. Calantha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2002
    star 2
    Unease had colored his search for mental symmetry and, frustratingly, he could not pinpoint the cause of it. A bitter taste had crept from his mind to his throat.

    The descriptions are wonderful. Not just of the landscape, but everyone's thoughts and feelings too. I'm also intriqued by your new OC. He'll certainly provide a unique pov on coming events. It was also really easy to follow both Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's POV, even through you were switching. I didn't get confused - actually I didn't even notice until I was finished, and thinking back.

    I've been lurking (I'm sorry :( ) through most of your stories for a few years, and it always amazes me how you go from good to better, with every new story.

    Can't wait for more!
  8. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Ohhh- this looks to be another good one :)
  9. Opal Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2003
    star 4
  10. MamaShmi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 29, 2004
    I can't wait for more, this one looks great!
  11. JediVeloJinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 23, 2003
    star 1
    Oooohhhh, another fic by LuvEwan. Yippeee. I even caught it in time ? at the beginning.

    Wow. I don?t know what to say. You?ve really intrigued me, and the descriptions are wonderful. I like how you mentioned that often the pics and the actual thing/scene are greatly different. I?ve come to expect the difference, although a few times, I?ve really been blown away by the feeling of being there to enjoy the view.

    I?m looking forward to the next post. You?re such a wonderful writer, and I, at least, would pay (and pay a lot) to read your work.

    Btw, what about ?coming home?? I?m still dreaming of more. No matter how long it takes, please, please finish it?


    Velo
  12. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Kynstar Thanks! :D

    Shaindl I'm glad my OC is receiving such good reactions. I'm not crazy about writing OC's, if ya haven't noticed, so they're uncommon in my fics. ;) Thanks!

    jeday I think you're feelings are spot on! ;)

    o_e Thanks so much. [face_love]

    diane Thank you, as always, for your lovely comments. ;)

    Calantha Thanks for the words of confidence about the switching POV's. I was a little nervous about that. :)

    PK Thanks! :) :)

    Opal Great! :cool:

    MamaShmi Thank you. [face_blush]

    JediVeloJinn Thanks so much for your comments and I hope you got my PM. ;)





    ^^^ () ^^^

    The tip of the wretched molten ball finally sank below, and the first tinges of sweet night seeped into the sky.

    Qui-Gon had battled the stacking sense of doom for hours, and now that day was temporarily expired, he was anxiety-ridden, and not happy that they would need to stop for sleep.

    ?Perhaps we should walk through the night.? He turned an untrusting gaze to the jungle. ?I have a bad feeling about this.?

    Tirr nodded. ?It?s snowballed, hasn?t it??

    Obi-Wan was busied trying to stifle the scream that spiked in his throat. Through the night? The arches of his feet felt like they were being stretched with every step. His stomach was very unsettled. He looked down at the battered ground, the damage worsened by the press of their gait?and he could relate.

    Yet, he said nothing. The sooner they reached the Capital, the sooner he could help prevent further turmoil in the jungle, and in his head.

    Qui-Gon closed the small gap between them. ?You?ve been blocking me, Padawan.? It was not voiced as an admonishment?just a concerned statement.

    ?I apologize, Master.? He swallowed. When he looked up, his Master?s familiar face was largely a blur.

    Qui-Gon studied him for a split second, then stopped them both in their tracks. ?A change of plans.?

    Ullo?s visage was similarly drawn with concern. ?What??

    ?Obi-Wan.? It was all he could say, all he could think. He wrapped an arm around his apprentice?s shoulders and led him to the nearest tree. Above the thumping din of his heart, he asked, ?Obi-Wan, what?s wrong??

    He lowered himself and his Padawan cautiously to the ground, keeping a secure hold on the youth. ?Tirr, get some water.? He nearly shouted over his shoulder.

    ?Alright.?

    Obi-Wan blinked with furious rapidity. ?Master, I?I can?t see.?

    The youth had always had an inherently calm voice?the Master could hear the struggle against panic that was rising in it now. Qui-Gon cupped his head and rested it against his stalwart chest. ?Close your eyes.? He accepted the full canteen from Ullo, who had already unscrewed the lid.

    The Master touched the opening to Obi-Wan?s lips. ?Here, Padawan. Drink this.?

    Obi-Wan did, until his nausea prevented another drop, and he shivered.

    Qui-Gon supported his back on the shriveled trunk and curved his hand around Obi-Wan?s head. With the other, he checked for fever. ?He has a temperature.? He informed Knight Tirr absently, his eyes never straying from the ailing form in his arms.

    All Jedi carried generic, all-purpose medicinal syrup in their belts. Tirr pulled the cylinder of viscous liquid from his. ?Qui-Gon??

    Qui-Gon considered it for a long moment. ?Let?s wait.? He said at last. ?He could be overheated. Loss of sight and queasiness are symptoms, as is fever.? With two fingers suffering a small quake, he pulled Obi-Wan?s braid back over his shoulder. Already, the apprentice was asleep, breathing shallowly. ?I can discern no other sources of illness.?

    Qui-Gon sighed, taking in the jungle with unbridled suspicion, then looked to the dark-haired Knight. ?You might as well take advantage of the break. I?ll wake you if there?re any problems.?

    Spent green eyes glanced at Obi-Wan. ?Are you sure??

    ?We?ll need at least one alert member.? Was his dismal reply.

    Ullo slowly nodded.

    Once the man had settled in for slumber, Qui-Gon rested his chi
  13. AnakinsHeir Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    WOW! Amazing story, I love the interaction between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Great job! I look forward to more updates.
  14. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, this is getting worse. Can't foresee it getting better in the near future, either. Lovely portrait of Master/Padawan devotion. Can't wait for more!

    Shaindl
  15. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Lovely language and I really liked the discussion of the Master/Padawan relationship. But this isn't looking good. I hope you can save the Padawan this time. Remember, we aren't in that challenge here!!!!!

    Keep going.
  16. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Listen to Diane you will! No Obi killing! :p This was just sad! :(
  17. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Yes, save Obi please! But not too soon! [face_devil]
  18. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I love Ullo's reasoning for not being a master. Padawan puke [face_laugh]
  19. Captain_Observant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 2
    [face_shocked]

    I should have known better than to click on an LE story, because now I am hopelessly addicted...grrr.....

    This is a great - you're a fabulous writer and I always enjoying reading your stuff. I look forward to more.

    And feel free to do whatever you want with Obi...I could use a good cry... ;)
  20. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    This one was so touching!! You could almost imagine yourself there next to them! I love the OC! Totally amazed by Qui's devotion to Obi! How sweet!! Ummm I ponder to think that the sickness is more than juz 'heat' related.

    Great work!!
  21. Opal Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2003
    star 4
    Oooh, I love when you write this kind of stuff.
  22. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    AnakinsHeir New reader! :D Thanks! ;)

    Shaindl Don't lose faith! :)

    diane I wanted to experiment with a rather heavy usage of dialogue in this fic. I hope it's going good so far. ;)

    obi_ew But listen to you, will I? :confused:

    jeday [face_shocked]

    PK ;)

    Captain_Observant Thanks. :) Hopefully you'll need a Kleenex or two. 8-}

    Kynstar I thought 'sweet' would be a nice way to go. :)

    Opal Thanks! :)
  23. jedimommie2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2004
    star 2
    Hi! I finally stopped lurking and joined this board! I just wanted to tell you that I've read all your stories and that I think you are a very talented writer. You are a true inspiration to someone like me who is just now starting out. Keep up the great work not only on this one, but on all of them!
  24. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    jm2 Thanks! That was such a wonderful thing to say. [face_blush] Hope to hear more from you, now that you've de-lurked! :D


    ^^^ () ^^^

    Obi-Wan opened his eyes, to find the worried face of his mentor shaded by the late hour?s darkness.

    It had been a valiant attempt at deep-level Force healing, but neither were able to maintain the state, pushed upward to the surface of awareness by whatever was attacking Obi-Wan?s body.

    The apprentice?s hair was soaked with sweat. His lips quivered. ?Master?? A fly-away sigh. ?I think something is wrong with me.?

    Qui-Gon smiled at the elegance of the dulcet tone. ?What?s new, my ever-troublesome Padawan? Will a day ever pass when you don?t add another gray strand to my hair??

    ?I certainly hope not.? A grin broke out on the flushed countenance. ?It?s what gives you your distinctive prestige.?

    Qui-Gon laughed heartily. ?If you?re looking for words of gratitude, you?re not going to get them.?

    Obi-Wan smiled before he closed his eyes. ?That?s alright, Master. I know how you truly feel inside.?

    Qui-Gon stroked his damp cheek. I pray so, Padawan. He caressed the skin, seeing how colorless it had become in the few hours of Obi-Wan?s discomfort. He waited for a beat, then ?Obi-Wan??

    The recently rested eyes flew open again.

    ?We need to move. Will you be alright if I carry you??

    A foolish question. Without hesitation, Obi-Wan nodded. He did not want to delay the mission any longer.

    Qui-Gon quietly awoke Tirr, and they were back on the trail in a few minutes.

    ^^^ () ^^^

    Their steps were much louder in the night, although there had not been much around them to rustle and make noise in the daytime.

    Obi-Wan slept with his hooded head on his Master?s shoulder.

    Qui-Gon was often tempted to lean his own against his apprentice?s, but was afraid to shift his attentiveness from the jungle.

    Ullo yawned, stretching his muscled arms.

    Qui-Gon glanced at him. ?I know your rest was short, but did you gain any clarity from it??

    ?All I gained was a lovely crick in my neck, to go with the pain in my a??

    ?Very amusing. But, speaking of which, have you continued sensing that disturbance??

    ?It?s been mounting.? Ullo affirmed grimly. ?But it?s very?anonymous.?

    ?Yes.? Qui-Gon said, then looked away when he realized he had nothing else to add.

    They walked on, crushing the yellowed corpses of tropic leaves beneath their feet.

    ?Perhaps?? The Knight?s finger strayed to his chin. ?I don?t know. Perhaps we?re merely experiencing what any normal, non-Force sensitive being would. Obi-Wan?s sick and we?re surrounded by a huge, dying organism. And maybe these bad feelings we?ve been having,? He shrugged, ?Are a normal human response to those things.?

    ?Well, it?s not impossible.? Qui-Gon concluded with a tired smile, his brows knit. ?But it doesn?t say much for the Order, a Master and Knight confusing the two like that.?

    Ullo chuckled softly beneath his breath. ?Then they can censure us ?til the banthas come home.

    ?Look on the bright side?it?ll give the lazy bunch something to do.?

    ?True. The troll?s especially dangerous when he?s without diversion.?

    ?Ha!? Ullo actually threw his head back, grinning wildly, a wavy tendril of black in his eyes. ?At least we have one thing in common. You call him that too??

    Qui-Gon smirked. ?I think it transcends all generations.?

    ?Does he know??

    The Master laughed against the night?s wind. ?Oh,I sincerely hope so.? After the shared mirth had faded, he regarded Ullo with serious eyes. ?Am I then a betrayer of my peers?that I almost wish the little stump were here now??

    The younger man shook his head with a smile that played across half his mouth. ?Nah.?

    ?Hum.? Qui-Gon looked forward and snorted softly. ?I can?t help but think he could diagnose Obi-Wan in a heartbeat.?

    ?Don?t focus on the negative.? Ullo chimed in, eager to dispel the dense gray mist hanging over them. When Qui-Gon?s expression remained unchanged, the Knight simpered and kicked at a pebble in th
  25. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    You desperately need to keep posting on this, or I'm going to personally come down to Arizona and hunt you down.

    Y'know, I've been threatening a lot of people with that this week. :p

    I love the relationship you've established between Qui and Ullo. He's a great character - you should develop more OCs - you have a knack for that along with everything else. :)

    Shaindl
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