Before - Legends A Circle Completed (Xanatos, Obi, Qui) ~Updated 8/24, Completed!~

Title: A Circle Completed
Timeframe: 5 months after Rising Force
Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Xanatos
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Xanatos finally gets his revenge
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Xanatos surveyed the boiling, bubbling, sea of lava that covered more than three quarters of the surface of Mustafar with approval. After his attempt to kill Qui-Gon and the boy by damaging their taransport back to the temple from Bandomeer had failed, he had come to Mustafar for a relaxing vacation, where he schemed how best to extract his revenge. He decided that Qui-Gon's weak link was the boy, whom he cared for very much. Now, five months later, his plot was laid, and he would soon have his revenge on Qui-Gon. He hurried back inside, just as a jedi transport landed 200 meters away, all the while grinning with malicious delight.
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Obi-Wan Kenobi stirred uneasily as Qui-Gon maneuvered the transport onto the landing platform on Mustafar, just 200 meters away from a large black structure overlooking the sea of lava.

"Master," he said nervously. "I don't think this is a good idea. It feels...wrong. Something bad is going to happen here. I think we should leave."

"No, Obi-Wan," was the terse reply. "You've said this over and over again, but you are wrong. Nothing bad is going to happen here. Xanatos may be sly and cunning, but he is no match for both of us. Remember, there are two of us and one of him, and he is still healing from the burn you gave him. His left side will be weak, and we have help from Doileen. He will make sure that Xanatos does not notice until we decide that he will."

Doileen was the man who had contacted the jedi in the first place, to tell them where Xanatos was. He was Xanatos' "faithful" servant and would be meeting them on the farthest landing pad.

"If you say so, master."

"I do." Qui-Gon suddenly stood up and put his hand on Obi-Wan's Shoulder. "You will be fine, Padawan."

Even now, after five months, hearing Qui-Gon call him "Padawan" filled Obi-Wan's heart with joy. Together they walked out of the jedi transport. They were immediately thrown backwards by a giant explosion. The force screamed with Xanatos' presence.
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Xanatos watched the tall, broad figure of Qui-Gon and the short, rather slighter figure of Obi-Wan appear out of the transport. What fools they were, he thought. Did they really believe that he would trust a servant to his location? No matter; soon he would have his revenge. Soon. He fired the energy missile. It exploded precisly where he wanted it to, and threw the boy and the master back into the bowels of the ship. The entrace collapsed, leaving them trapped inside. Xanatos hurried towards the slightly smoking transport in the distance.
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Obi-Wan came around trapped under a pile of rubble with his leg burning and warm liquid dripping into his eyes. He was pinned against the wall and the majority of the ship's door was on top of him. He could see Qui-Gon just inside the doorway, unconcious. Obi-Wan tried to squirm out from under the door and push it away with the force, but did nothing but tear his tunic and hurt his leg more, which he decided had a sprained knee. Then, the rubble flew inside the ship and a tall, dark form filled the open doorway. Xanatos. Obi-Wan quickly scooted back under his pile of metal, but not quickly enough. Xanatos' eyes followed the movement, and they glittered with murder.

"Well, well, well, what have we here? A foolish master and a clumsy padawan. I wonder, what would make Qui-Gon hurt more? If his precious padawan betrayed him or if his precious padawan was killed?" his voice was calm, musing, but with fury lurking below the surface. He casually flicked his hand and the rubble on top of Obi-Wan piled itself in the doorway again. He took out his lightsaber and pointed it at Obi-Wan.

"I'll make this simple for you, padawan.[/i

 

I think this was an excellent introduction to your story. You use imagery and dialogue well and set the scene. Perhaps in future there may be some constructive thoughts to offer but I rather like this jump into the story. It's gripping and a nice cliffie to leave us with, but rather short to have any specific comments other than well done.

(If you'd like to exchange some thoughts before going ahead, I'd be happy to help but only if YOU think that's something you might be interested in.)

Will you be doing PMs on this story?

By the way, are you really "119"?

 

Very nicely done. Glad that I refound it! Please update soon, I can´t wait for the next chapter. I do not write fiction, I have not the talent to do it. But I love to read!!.
Please add me to said PM list.

 

Very intriguing!

You captured Xanatos' character perfectly and I think it's unfortunate Qui-Gon underestimated his former padawan's desire for revenge.

he had come to Mustafar for a relaxing vacation

That struck me as

Though I suppose when you are plotting the destruction of your former Master and his new padawan, Mustafar is a good place for inspiration.

I hope to see this continue.

 

Good start,

Please add me to the PM list for this.

thanks

EG

 

To all: Thanks for all the feedback! My other stories on other sites have all failed miserably, so now I am mucho happy!
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Obi-Wan fought Xanatos viciously, but he was losing ground. At the beginning he had been tired from a restless night. Then a door had been collapsed on top of him, his knee had been sprained, and he had been challenged to a duel by a swordsman with about four times his experience and a lot more than five months as a padawan. He had known from the start that this had been a trap, but Qui-Gon had dismissed his warnings. Now look at the situation: Qui-Gon was unconscious, Obi-Wan's holocom was dead, and there was the rather pressing matter of a revenge-hungry man with a lightsaber after his blood. Then Obi-Wan's back hit the controls of the ship and he knew he was trapped. Xanatos had driven him back into the cockpit of the ship, his knee was throbbing, and Qui-Gon was still not conscious.



Then Xanatos smashed his boot into Obi-Wan's gut. Obi-Wan flew backward and crumpled in pain and his lightsaber was pulled out of his hand with the force. Obi-Wan tried to summon it back, but he only made it pause in midair for a few seconds. Then his knee collapsed and he fell to the ground. Blearily he saw a beam of blue and a beam of red pointing at him. They seemed to mock him, tell him that life was a fragile thing and his was about to be over. They came down at the same time, moving through the air at astounding speed. Obi-Wan gathered what little strength he had left as he prepared to try and jump out of the way at the last second. Master, now would be a good time to intervene...

The blades were stopped just inches from his face by an emerald lightsaber that appeared out of nowhere. The hissing, crackling blades filled the air with the smell of ozone as Qui-Gon maneuvered Xanatos away from Obi-Wan's shaking form. Obi-Wan struggled to his feet and tried to figure out what to do. Qui-Gon was obviously a match for Xanatos, and Obi-Wan would probably only get in the way, but his master had been knocked unconscious by the explosion too.

Then a voice screamed in his mind, Obi-Wan would you quit standing there like a petrified bantha and come and help? Seconds later, after several rapid blinks and his vision had cleared, Qui-Gon summoned Obi-Wan's lightsaber, caught it, and tossed it to him. Obi-Wan then attempted to join the fight, but his knee burned with pain and he nearly skewered his own master when it buckled beneath him. Obi-Wan! It was punctuated by a glare from Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan had to suppress laughter at his own helplessness. There was no way to try to summon help from the temple; Xanatos blocked the doorway to where the emergency supplies were, there was no way to help Qui-Gon; he would just kill himself or his master in the process, and there was no way to escape except through the window of the cockpit; if he turned to make a hole, Xanatos would have a lightsaber through him before he could move.



Then suddenly Qui-Gon's force melded into his as it had in that dank, musty tunnel on Bandomeer. His knee immediately stopped burning and his energy level went up a few notches. Xanatos felt the influx of power and he growled. The hate in his eyes flared to an even higher intensity. With he snarl, Xanatos hurled himself towards Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan was ready for the attack and parried, albeit not at all easily. Obi-Wan was not however, prepared for the vicious follow-up. Xanatos broke through his defense and knocked his lightsaber away from his chest. The sheer force of the blow forced Obi-Wan's arm back until it slammed against the lightsaber-proof control panel. Using his own scarlet lightsaber, Xanatos pinned it there and stepped out of the way of Qui-Gon's killing blow. In one swift movement, Xanatos kicked Obi-Wan's wrist holding the lighsaber so hard it broke with a crack and his saber fell from his limp hand, grabbed the other one, and pulled him into a headlock. Adjusting his grip so one hand held Obi-Wan by the throat and the other he

 

Why you <shakes fist> you end it like THAT! You KILLED Obi. Obviously I have misjudged you.

I think I'll go somewhere.

 

Well, I'm gonna try another one where Xani dies...or maybe I won't... idk... Any hints?

 

wow!!

Great story...

There's gonna be another chapter right? An Epilogue so to speak?

Thanks for the PM


EG

 

I might... *is overrun by plot bunnies*

 

You killed him?!!! No killing Obi next time

 

oh I had it when Obi is killed in the story. But still it was a good story, but please next time don´f kill him.

 

I just knew when I was reading this that you were going to kill Obi-Wan.

At the end of your post you say...I'm not mucho happy anymore.

Well I'm mucho crying I can't believe you could kill my Obi-Wan

Nevertheless, it was an compelling read (The Force made me read it)and even though I sensed it was coming I couldn't stop reading it.

Ok it was good.


PS. Don't kill Obi again.

 

Epilouge

Obi-Wan awoke to find himself in utter blackness, except for three pinpricks of light in the distance. Lying on the cold, hard ground, he realized that he was in a forest. A mosquito buzzed around his nose. He stood up, attempted to walk towards the lightse distance, and promptly fell over again.

"Go away," he growled at the swarm of bugs now accompanying him. The bugs ingnored him. One bit his arm. Obi-Wan growled again. I guess I'm not dead. he thought sullenly. Then it all came flooding back: Xanatos stabbing him in the chest, firey pain in both his chest and his head, Qui-Gon's apology. He started to jog towards the figures in the distance. As he came closer, he realized that they were people, but he could see through them.

They had their backs towards him, an old man, a bald man, and... "Master Yoda?" The very fimiliar green shape turned as did the others. Obi-Wan stood there uncertainly as they scrutinized him. He finally found his voice and asked, "Are you dead?"

"Yes, young one," said the old man.

Obi-Wan started. It was his voice the old man spoke in. Older, perhaps, and more weary, but it sounded the same underneath. "Who are you?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is Anakin Skywalker." he gestured to the bald man on his right, who, Obi-Wan noticed suddenly, had scars running down his face. "And you are?"

"O- wait, did you say you were Obi-Wan?"

"Yes."

"But so am I!"

Yoda interrupted their confusion. "A very grave situation we have. Your younger self, this is."

"What?"

"How die, did you?" Yoda asked the younger Obi-Wan, jabbing at him with his stick.

"Xanatos stabbed me with a lightsaber?"

"Ah, yes. Remember that mission I do."

A flicker of pain crossed the older Obi-Wan's face. "So do I." His voice was nearly a whisper. "That was before that dagblasted war and the empi-"

"Enough. Knowledge about the future, Obi-Wan needs not. Painful, it is, to know about the future before it happens. Trust me. Happen to me, it did, and I could not face it. Terrifying, it was. Happen, it did, because even 750 years early, stop it I could not. Belong here, Obi-Wan does not."

Both Obi-Wans replied simultaniously, "Yes master."

"Good. Now, tell Qui-Gon of this, you may, but believe you, he may not. Confusing it is, for those who did not come to the netherworld of the force themselves. Stubborn, Qui-GOn is. Now, go back you must."

The three spirits started to whip around himself, creating a whirlwind of dust. "Wait! Tell me one thing," Obi-Wan pleaded with his older form. "How did I die?"

"Goodbye, Obi-Wan. May the force be with you."

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Obi-Wan drew in a shuddering breath of warm air. And another. And another. Then he was very nearly crushed by a pair of arms hugging him.

"You're alive!" Qui-Gon was still sobbing, but from joy.

"I won't be for much longer if you keep that up," he moaned. Qui-Gon laughed.

"Still kept your sense of humor I see."

"Yup. Master?"

"Yes, Obi-Wan?"

"Can we go home now?"

"Of course, Padawan. Let's go home."

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Far away, on a ship to Telos, Xanatos was listening to Qui-Gon's misery with glee. If he had not been attuned to Qui-Gon's position, he would not have felt Obi-Wan's force signature, it was so weak. But he felt it. His smile turned into a glare, which he directed at the serving droid. It burst into pieces and he growled as he felt Qui-Gon's misery into joy. "You may have one this round, Kenobi, but this isn't over yet."

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Now it's The End!

 

AW...happy dance, he lives. That is the PERFECT death for Obi - death and, uh, resurrection or just not-death?

Who cares! He lives.

 

love the end.

Many thanks for the wonderful story. I can´t wait for the next one.

 

What can I say. Well I'm happy you read my P.S. And didn't kill Obi again.

What a great finish, Obi lives to annoy Xanatos another day.

Well done.

 

Valairy_Scot: AW...happy dance, he lives. That is the PERFECT death for Obi - death and, uh, resurrection or just not-death?

Who cares! He lives.

Happy dance indeed! I was pretty jubilant myself. Thanks for reading and replying!


littleobiwankenobi: Many thanks for the wonderful story. I can´t wait for the next one.

You're welcome! And thanks for reading and replying!


Gkillkenny: What can I say. Well I'm happy you read my P.S. And didn't kill Obi again.

What a great finish, Obi lives to annoy Xanatos another day.

Well done.

Thanks

Yes, definitely to annoy Xanatos another day!


Thanks again for reading and replying everybody!