Beyond A Darkened Day (AU; J/TK, J/Z/C, K/L/J) Post - 3/18 - Rosie!!!!!!!!!!!!! *wails*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Agent_Jaid, Apr 30, 2003.

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  1. Agent_Jaid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2003
    star 5
    Okay, This is my first fanfic so please be critical but add a smilie face at the end. Rather stupid I know, but smilie faces make me happy.


    Detication: To my many friends but especially to my betas. Jo, my hyper, Zekk-obsessed-beta who always knows when to use a ?;? instead of a ?,? and KS, my other hyper-but-not-obsessed-with-Zekk-beta (she?s obsessed with Kyp) who inspired several of my characters. :D I am forever in your guys's debt. [face_blush]

    Thanks: My two former beta?s Soulwalker and Jacesolo1138. You guy?s were absolutely great. ;) Thanks for helping me smooth out the rough edges and give me a workable plot.

    I?d also like to thank the Supreme Goddess, Trickster_Jaina_Fel for giving me a plot bunnie that spawned this story. ;) - If I can ever write half as well as you Supreme Goddess, I will be amazed and thrilled beyond belief.

    Author: Jaid

    Rating: PG-13 [yep, I had to change it...]

    Genre:
    AU? Angst? Torture? I don't really know....... Well, Reader torture! :D

    Disclaimer:
    Yeah! I'm making millions out of this!! NOT! George Lucas has it all, blah, blah, blah......

    Feedback: :D

    Mark up codes
    : //?.// = bond speak, **??** = Force Stone, italics = thoughts



    A Darkened Day
    By Jaid


    ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

    links for posts:

    Page 1 ? 1 post, Page 2 - 1 post, Page 4 - 1 post, Page 5 ? 1 post, Page 7 ? 1 post, Page 9 - 1 post, Page 13 - 1 post, Page 14 - 1 post, Page 16 - 1 post, Page 18 - 1 post, Page 20 - 1 post, Page 23 - 1 post, Page 29 - 1 post, Page 31 - 1 post, Page 36 - 1 post, Page 42 - 1 post, Page 45 - 1 post, Page 48 - 1 post, Page 53 - 1 post, Page 56 - 1 post, Page 63 - 1 post, Page 65 - 1 post, Page 66 - 1 post, Page 68 - 1 post, Page 70 - 1 post, Page 72 - 1 post, Page 74 - 1 post, Page 75 - 1 post, [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=11496
  2. Elven_Jedi_Maiden Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2003
    star 3
    Ohhhh! Agent_Jaid wrote a fic! And it's J/Z, J/TK and it has Mara in it!! YEAH!!! *dances around the room*

    Hee hee, AWESOME so far. :D I can't wait to see where it goes. Luke died way back at Myrkr, huh? How sad... :(
  3. GenOochy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2003
    star 5
    Well written!!!

    Leia takes out the senate....

    Cool, dude!

    But, still... You killed Luke....

    Why? ;)
  4. Agent_Jaid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2003
    star 5
    YAY!!!

    2 Readers!!!

    :D :D :D :D


    EJM: And it's J/Z, J/TK and it has Mara in it!!

    What else would it be????

    Luke died way back at Myrkr, huh? How sad...

    *pulls on hair*

    EVERYONE SAYS THAT!!!!!

    *sigh*

    *eyes widen*
    :eek:

    AWESOME?

    *falls backwards*

    wow.

    General:

    But, still... You killed Luke....

    Why?


    It's simply this, if I let him live, he's going to try and turn Leia back which can't happen yet.

    And anyway's.

    If I did, it would take another book and a half to redeem Mara if I didn't.

    Luke is dead and that almost kills the emperor's voice, she'll stil hear it 'sept now it's "You failed me" but the pictures that Pulpy planted are dead and gone.

    His voice leaves when she meets "someone".........

    ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

    -+- Jaid


    Edit: I made a scrolly bar.......... Bad Jaid!!!
  5. jacen200015 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2002
    star 4
    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    hhhh.

    *faints.*
  6. Hail_Jaina Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2002
    star 2
    WOW!!!!!! GO AJ!!!!!!



    Mara felt a weak smile cross her face. "At least when she's done there'll be less politicians." Her tone was wry as she watched Luke's face carefully. that's the Mara I know and love!!!! [face_laugh]

    Is Kyp gonna be in it huh huh huh? [face_mischief]

    Oh yeah: :) :) :) :) :)
  7. Agent_Jaid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2003
    star 5
    Master: *leans over*

    *waves hand over her face*

    Uh..... Master??

    *dumps ice-cold water on her*

    Master??

    Tahi: So you like it huh? [face_mischief]

    Yeah, I'm trying to get Mara right........ She's going to be one of my favorite characters.

    THANK YOU FOR NOT COMMENTING ON THE FACT THAT I KILLED OFF LUKE!!!! :D :D :D :D

    BOTH of my Beta's got mad at me for doing that.

    Yes Kyp will be in it............. And he's evil. [face_mischief]

    Thanks for the smilies!!!! :) :) :) :)

    ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

    -+- Jaid
  8. Master_Ponta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2003
    star 4
    YOU killed Skywalker, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS???? AHHHHH! I feel a little weasy... I think I'm gonna... faint. *passes out on the floor.*


    Like your fic though.
  9. Agent_Jaid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2003
    star 5
    Ponta:

    Oh dear....

    Another one fainted.

    *splashes ice-cold water on the top of her head*

    Wake up!!

    Ty-Ty wouldn't forgive me if I killed you Ponta!!!

    ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

    It's only been posted for 3 hours people!!!!

    It's going to get worse!!!

    Or better, depending on your point of view.

    <Sorry, I posted a spoiler [face_blush]>

    ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

    -+- Jaid
  10. Master_Ponta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2003
    star 4
    it's gonna get WORSE?!? AHHHH! *falls back on the floor.*
  11. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
    *hugs jaid* wow! you're doing me proud girl :D excellent beginning! i won't complain about you killing off luke cuz he's dead in all my fics and i'd be a hypocrite if i did :p mara was portrayed perfectly -- exactly how i imagined her :)

    just a quickie question: why is the beginning red? ?[face_plain] is that bcuz it's taken directly from the book? you might want to explain it if it's on purpose so the slow people like me can figure out what's going on ;)

    anyway, awesome start Jaid :D

    ~TJF
  12. The_Standmaiden Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2002
    star 5
    THANK YOU FOR NOT COMMENTING ON THE FACT THAT I KILLED OFF LUKE!!!!
    Ha, now you know how I feel. ;)

    Great beginning, very ambitious. :) I think you captured Mara's character well (I was about to say I liked her, but that's not correct ;) ) and a Dark Leia is always interesting . . .

    Ooh! Now I can bug you about updates! This will be fun . . . [face_mischief] [face_devil]


    P.S. I hope they change the forum colours soon. Reading on this yellow is killing me. :(

    EDIT: Forgot to put a smilie face at the end ;)


















    :)
  13. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
    *flys in from RotJ* rats...we're not going to get responses for four days are we? :(

    bump^ing time [face_devil] :D

    ~TJF
  14. Soulwalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2003
    star 4
    Hehehe, you already know what I think of this, Jaid. ;)

    Nice work, keep it up! :)
  15. jacesolo1138 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    I love it Jaid. Will there be a new post soon?

    ~jacesolo1138~
  16. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
  17. Agent_Jaid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2003
    star 5
    Okay, I have a few minute's before I need to head out the door so I'll work on i.r.

    TJF, why is it called "i.r." on your fic's? I'm doing that also but I don't have a clue what it means.

    Anyway.

    Oooo...... Readers. [face_devil]

    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+


    Supreme Goddess: you're doing me proud girl!

    *faints*

    excellent beginning!

    *faints again*

    mara was portrayed perfectly -- exactly how i imagined her

    Good, Greg said my two weak spots were grammer and characterization.

    If you think that I got Mara right, I'm a happy camper :)

    just a quickie question: why is the beginning red?

    *hits herself on the head*

    SORRY!!!!!

    Yes, you are correct in your assumption that it is a direct exsert.

    A Dark Force Rising by Timothy Zahn

    I'd give you the page number and all that junk but I'm too lazy to get up.


    TSM: TSM checked out my fic?? :eek: :eek: I knew Supreme Goddess would but TSM....... She ranks up there with Dana!!!! :eek:

    Great beginning, very ambitious.

    Ambitious huh? *thinks* Cool!

    I think you captured Mara's character well (I was about to say I liked her, but that's not correct ;))

    Darn it!!! This close to getting you to like her!!! *fingers held milimeters apart*


    Greg: Hehehe, you already know what I think of this, Jaid.

    I need to work on my characterization and my grammer..... Rateing is 8..... Oh yeah..... And I'm a meanihead for killing off Luke.... Did I miss anything? :p

    Jace: I love it Jaid. Will there be a new post soon?

    Good Grief!!

    It's been posted for 10 and 1/2 hours Jace!!!

    *sigh*

    I'm such a sucker............

    I'll start working it tonight and hopefully it'll be up by Monday or Tuesday......

    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

    Did I miss anyone? ?[face_plain]

    Hope not.

    See you all!!

    Thanks for all of the kind reviews folks!!!

    God Bless!!

    -+- Jaid
  18. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
    i.r.'s = individual replies :p

    ~TJF

    EDIT: and Greg...be a nice beta to jaid or i'll stomp on your foot again! :mad:
  19. GenOochy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2003
    star 5
    Yes, be nice Greg... Getting your foot stomped isn't fun... ;)


    Great job Jaid!!!!!


    And if you don't update alot, we get to do this....


    Post now!
    Post now!
    Post now!
    Post now!
    Post now!
    Post now!



    :D :D :D :D :D
  20. Soulwalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2003
    star 4
    I was only trying to be helpful. If I'm going to be abused at every turn, I'm going to fire myself. :p

    Besides, I think Jaid did good, she just needed to brush up a little on her grammar. We all tend to mess up when we write, but others catch onto it.
  21. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
    aw...don't fire yourself, i was just teasing you



    .....mostly. ;)

    ~TJF
  22. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
  23. Kyp_side_of_TheForce Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2002
    star 4
    :eek: :eek: :eek: :D :D :D

    Mara?s voice was a strange combination of pleading and demanding. Now THAT'S how I like Mara :D

    "Leia, don't fall. Leia, please..." *eyes grow huge* GO LEIA!!!!!!!! BECOME A DARK SIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S IT... JUST A LITTLE MORE EVIL, THEN YOU'LL BE THERE... IT'S THE DESTINY OF ALL POLITICIANS...!!!!!!!!!!!

    "Leia is on a rampage. She?s killing members of the Senate." GO LEIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *chants*

    LUKE'S DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    DDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDD DEAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD DEADDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    WWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    DDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE'''''''''SSSSSSSSSSS DEEEEEAAAAAAADDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    DING DONG THE GOODY LUKE IS DEAD :p !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO AMAZING AWSOME SUPER GOOD AND PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

    (btw: Yes Kyp will be in it............. And he's evil. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
  24. JainaDurron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    Ya think Kyp_Side is excited? ;)

    Wonderful beginning to this fic, Jaid. I'll keep my eye out for the next part. :)

    ~~Jilly
  25. Soulwalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2003
    star 4
    Page 3? This is a no-no!

    *Headbutts it back to the top* :p

    ;)
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