Saga A Daughter Remembers ? OC Dueling Challenge #10 - Author Response & Announcement

Title: A Daughter Remembers
Author: Lovely-in-Orange
Timeframe: Clone Wars Era
Characters: OC Twi?leks (Nia and Ka?var Komad)
Genre: Challenge Response
Summary: A Twi?lek slave girl remembers her mother and honors an ancient tradition.
Notes: For the OC Dueling Circle Challenge #10

It?s that time of year, where the veil is thin between this realm and the one beyond. There are many traditions around the world that use this season to celebrate the people who have gone through the veil before them.

In Mexico, it is the Day of the Dead. Pagans celebrate Samhain and the Dumb Supper. Christians have All Saints Day.

Have your OC remember and acknowledge their ancestors. Perhaps they contact them through a séance, place flowers on a grave, or talk to them in hopes they are out there somewhere listening.

---

Strange that on this day of Kakka Lekki, goddess and mother to all Twi?leks, I am reminded again of how grateful I am that I no longer reside on Ryloth. As harsh as my master might be, at least I was owned by a human and not a Hutt or worse a male Twi?lek.

There are two of them in the next room, drinking my master?s cheapest whiskey and chatting about nothing while they wait to meet with him. I am certain that they do not care what day it is. The males have the power and the prestige, but it was the Great Mother who gave us life. And it is the daughters who remember.

I remember my mother. She had the same pale green skin that I have and the same eyes. Like me, she was a slave. But most of the time you would never know it. She carried herself like a queen. At least that?s how it always seemed to me. Like she had something in her that no one could touch. She had been free once. She had even been in love. And Twi?leks do not easily forget.

I wish I had her grace and reserve. Normally I can keep quiet, really I can. Maybe it?s just that I?m thinking more of my mother than usual. But knowing those idiots in the next room consider me as nothing more than a brainless decoration is starting to get to me. Still, I continue to act as the good serving girl and grab another bottle of cheap whiskey as I walk back into the waiting lounge.

The older of the two, the one with unattractively short lekku, ignores me completely as I refill his glass. The second, a purple skinned male who looks a little younger than I am, gives me only a brief glance before continuing his conversation.

?How can you say anything is better than a Corellian ship?? The younger Twi?lek asks incredulously. ?The maneuverability and nav capabilities far exceed anything else.?

?Sure, but something will always break when you are right in the middle of a getaway. Now a nice Nubian ship, those look classy and don?t break down easily,? replies the older man.

?Parts are expensive though. And more importantly, they almost never have any weapons.?

?If you can get away quick without breaking down, you don?t need guns so much.?

I decide for once to not continue to play along like the good opinionless serving girl. My master isn?t here and these aren?t the sort of business affiliates he cares about trying to impress anyways. So what does it matter?

?Corellian ships only fall apart because usually their pilots have them drastically modified; some with more skill than others.? I continue, enjoying the surprised looks I got, ?A good pilot and mechanic mean as much as the ship itself.?

?And what would you know about starships, female?? The older man asks with the sort of indulgent look one would give a small child.

?I fly my master?s ship most of the time.? I say, sounding prouder than I probably should.

?His private ship? The Flying Varactyl?? The purple-skinned young man asks, looking me over as if trying to figure out how such a thing were possible.

?Yes. The maneuverable one. With the weapons.? I wink at him. A look of pure envy appears on the young smuggler?s face. No doubt he is thinking how unfair it is that I?ve

 

Nice! I really like this girl, fiesty, smart and respectful of the traditions of her people. Great story! If you do pms, I'd really like one when you continue.

 

That was beautiful! And I'm so happy to see there will be more!

 

Those poor long-suffering Twi'Lek girls...
I like the character you're developing here and am anxious to see where you're going to take this.

Great start!

 

Very enjoyable. I liked your OC, and am glad that she is going to get the freedom she has desired for so long.

 

Hey nice twist at the end and I'm glad that she was given a chance to get away from those slave masters... it makes me wonder what life has in store for her!

I like the detail of the cheap whiskey

 

Awesome! I like that character. If you do that kind of thing, definitely let me know when you continue it!

 

Usually, Twi'lek women are decorative background characters, both in fan and pro fic. I've been waiting for a story that changed that, with a Twi'lek female as the main character. Who is the subject, not an object.

And here it is.

Interesting detail about her mother's bad jokes. Makes her very...okay, not human, but you know what I mean.

Also, I can understand why the narrator doesn't trust the males of her own species. She must have plenty of reasons. But I think she's going to learn, after meeting the purple skinned smuggler, that not every Twi'lek male is a Bib Fortuna.

I see that this is going to continue... I'll be curious to see how it develops.

 

The end regarding her belief in her mother's wry sense of humour was an great touch orange. But now I've lept at the dangling hook...gotta tell us how it turns out!

 

PadwanKayla Thanks!

VL Thank you, I think there?s going to be at least one or two more posts after this one and then I?ll use this pair in a longer story.

Oqidaun Thanks! Those Twi?lek girls never seem to have it easy.

the_wandering_shadow I?m glad you liked her.

ceridwen1977 Thank you, I wanted to try and convey that they weren?t the most sophisticated pair of smugglers in the galaxy.

rogue_pilot Thanks! And I'll let you know!

HL I'm glad you liked it!

Pandora26 Thank you, I feel like the same way and wanted to explore how they feel. She definately does have some issues about Twi'lek males.

corellian_ale Mom's bad jokes can get you when you least expect it. And here's the next chapter, should be at least one more after this.

---

[i]Chapter 2[/i]

Ka?var doesn?t really offer an explanation of why everything but the emergency lighting is gone. So after several minutes of walking swiftly through the halls, I ask him.

He stops and holds up a finger, ?Listen.?

I hear it then. A strange chewing sound ? almost like metal crunching. I think I hear sparks too. I guess that would explain the power problems but I?m still not quite sure what it is. I look at him questioningly and he starts walking to a railing just in front of us. As I join him, he holds his glow stick out over the rail and points to the level below. The red light gives an eerie cast which becomes even more so as I catch a glimpse of movement below. I lean over the railing to get a closer look and I see that dozens of small creatures are moving around below. Some appear to be chewing through the floor while others work on the wall.

Unsettled, I pull back quickly. ?Rats.? A shudder runs through me from my toes to the tips of my lekku. I really don?t like disgusting vermin. ?Big rats. With metal teeth.? The last part didn?t make much sense. But it didn?t make them any more appealing either.

?Rats? Oh, no? those are droids. You know those little utility droids that are supposed to make repairs, do maintenance checks, and all??

?Droids are helpful. These are chewing through the building.?

?They were meant to be useful for sabotage. You could sneak some of them on a big Republic cruiser and have them start to tear it apart at a certain time. They were programmed to go straight for key systems like power. But they should be controllable. And before you ask, no I did not tinker with them at all. Everything stayed in the storage bins just like they were supposed too until we got here.?

?But they just attacked? Crawling over my master and everyone like a horde of giant metal rats?? I can feel that my lekku are twitch nervously now, but I?m not anywhere close to calm enough to control them.

Ka?var shakes his head. ?No, it wasn?t the?.? He stops talking and pulls out his blaster and I see a giant spider crawling up and over the railing to see us. A mechanical spider I mean - the normal varieties usually don?t have lasers to point at me. Ka?var?s reactions are quicker than mine however. Before I can even take aim, he?s put enough blaster bolts into the thing to leave it a smoking heap.

Trying to be useful, I point my blaster down one of the hallways. ?Maybe the back way would be better.?

?Good idea.? He replies. We start down that direction and as we put some distance between the spider droid and ourselves he continues, ?There were more droids just like that one in the shipment. When one droid was turned on they all came on and started attacking. I remembered how many were in the shipment and I just knew that there weren?t enough people in the hangar to stop them. My partner was closest and so they killed him first. There was nothing I could do. So I ran. I yelled at the others to run too, but they just kept shooting. Droids like that will always go for a target that?s shooting at them before some coward that?s just running away. So I got lucky and made it away safely.? His voice is shaky a

 

Great update. Lots of action and a nice background on the surviving smuggler. I liked that you showed their shared motivation for leaving. Please do pm with next installment.

 

I love these two L_i_O.

Kakka Lekki, goddess and mother to all Twi?leks

I just want to say Aloha and Ohana. It reminded me of Hawaii. Cool name for the goddess.

Only the daughters remembering the Great Mother made sense. Guys don't do anything ritual.

Great answer to the challenge.

And I really got into the story itself.

If there's more and you get a PM list going, I'd like to be added. I don't venture in here much and would love to read more about them. Hopefully they'll get out ok. *crosses fingers*

 

Wow! A great chapter! I love a well constructed OC and you've sure got one here! Bravo!

 

I decide for once to not continue to play along like the good opinionless serving girl. My master isn?t here and these aren?t the sort of business affiliates he cares about trying to impress anyways. So what does it matter?

?Corellian ships only fall apart because usually their pilots have them drastically modified; some with more skill than others.? I continue, enjoying the surprised looks I got, ?A good pilot and mechanic mean as much as the ship itself.?


You go girl! I really like this, could you PM me when you update?


-Commander Tharen-

 

PadwanKayla Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I'm growing found of Ka'var I think.

Lola64 I have to admit I got the name of the goddess out of star war wikicities. It does sound very Hawaiian though! It's nice to see you in here, Saga can be a fun place for smugglers and pilots too.

VL Thank you very much.

MoeTharen Thank you!

---

Chapter 3

The private hangar was the perfect place for a wealthy but shady businessman to hide a luxuriously appointed private yacht. My master had always been ready to get out of trouble. Except this time, of course.

I am not certain when I began to consider the ship my own. Possibly it was the first time I flew it on my own. It was ridiculous, I know. I have been a slave as long as I can remember and nothing has ever been truly mine. I would never dream of calling it mine in front of anyone. Well, actually I might [i]dream[/i] of it. I just wouldn?t actually [i]do[/i] it.

I am really only a pilot because my master decided that it would be just as easy to have me trained as a pilot as it was to actually hire one. And he thought young woman would be much better for his reputation than some ?ugly old spacer.?

?It looks as if the guards and everyone deserted this area,? Ka?var says quietly, interrupting my thoughts.

?The ship looks undamaged too,? I say with a great deal of relief. I can tell that my new-found friend is impressed by her. Smugglers always share stories about close escapes and start to admire the ships involved. That ship and I had had many close calls. I know I do not have the skills to keep up with someone like Anakin Skywalker or Aayla Secura. But so far this ship has always seen me through.

The Flying Varactyl bears a resemblance to the large and agile reptile for which it is named. The triangular nose tilts downward slightly and connects with the cube shaped cockpit. A narrow passage forms the neck and leads to the main areas of the ship. There is even a turret where the rider would sit.

As we get closer, I see a solitary rat droid crawling its way towards my beautiful ship. I start to shoot it but Ka?var stops me and walks over to pick it up.

?What are you doing?? I ask, baffled.

He fiddles with it for a moment and it stops moving. ?I?m taking it with me. If I can figure out how it works, it might be useful.?

?And if you can?t then it will try to eat the ship.? I wonder if I was right to change my mind about him being an idiot.

?It won?t. I promise,? he replies with a confident voice. I cannot quite tell if he is actually sure of what he is doing.

Sighing, I enter the access codes to lower docking ramp. As I lead him onto the ship, I forget my momentary irritation. I am proud to show off the small but neatly kept cargo bay. The lounge area upstairs is even more impressive. It was meant to impress and entertain clients along with being comfortable for travel. The plush padded chairs are covered with silk in shades of iridescent jade green and sapphire blue.

I walk through the passage to the cockpit and take a seat. Another pass code is needed to start up the ship and so I enter it. As I fire up the ships engines I hear Ka?var walk up next to me. I glance over at him and see that he is waiting there, as if to take the controls from me. When I don?t move, he says, ?I could let you off wherever you wish. Or even if you?d like to stay a while onboard??

He had helped me out and I know I would not be here if not for him. And yet, it is my ship. It is no longer just a dream in my head. It could be real. Despite my mother?s refinement, she had always been able to politely stand her ground when it was most important. That was how she was able to keep me safe for many years. So I decide not to budge and I simply look over at him. ?The deal was, you help me get my freedom and I help you get off planet. If you wanted the ship to be part of the deal you should have said so then.?

If I have made him disapp

 

First, so glad to see this story updated! Second, thrilled to know we'll be seeing more of these characters!
You've created some memorable and complex characters here that I want to know better!

Last,

He had helped me out and I know I would not be here if not for him. And yet, it is my ship. It is no longer just a dream in my head. It could be real. Despite my mother?s refinement, she had always been able to politely stand her ground when it was most important. That was how she was able to keep me safe for many years. So I decide not to budge and I simply look over at him. ?The deal was, you help me get my freedom and I help you get off planet. If you wanted the ship to be part of the deal you should have said so then.?

Loved the idea of finally getting respect. You can tell that's what was the most important!

Beautiful work!

 

WOW! Great update! Really looking forward to the next update!



-Commander Tharen-

 

I love these two.

Sorry to see this story end. I really liked it.

But I'm glad that there will be more of them. Please feel free to PM me when the first post is up.

Can't wait. *rubs hands in anticipation*

 

Excellent way to end this story - respect! Great that she stands her ground. These two characters seem to be a good match and I love how you have developed them. I would welcome a pm for your next story!

 

VL I'm glad you liked it. Respect really means a lot to her.

MoeTharen Thank you!

Lola Thanks! I hope you like the new story, too.

PadawanKayla Thank you, I enjoy writing them together.

Also there is a sequel staring Ka'var, Nia, and a few other OC and canon characters (Quinlan Vos, Imperial pilots, etc). It takes place a couple of years after this and is called Ties of Loyalty.