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A day in the Life of Lando Calrissian Planning Thread

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by PeterTutham27, Dec 1, 2001.

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  1. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 23, 2001
    Ok, so this probably won't be as good as Gandolf's but I'm taking a stab at it... What does everyone want to see in it? I've got over 1/3 of it written, but I'm still looking for ideas... I'll post what I have later...
  2. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 23, 2001
    Ok.. I said I would post.. SPOILERS AHEAD!

    A Day in the Life of Lando Calrissian

    (Kudos to Gandalf the Grey, who really inspired this for me. He is hilarious and I hope everyone looks at his fics!)

    6:59 am: As always, wake up exactly ten seconds before wake up call and smile. Think about great idea for an investment in a franchise I dreamed about the night before: mining on an abandoned world in Imperial Space at almost no cost for great profits... Hmm...
    7:00 am: Wake up call from Cindi the Spokesperson on Speakerphone, "Up and at?em Tiger, you have a big day ahead of you!"
    7:02 am: Get up and admire myself from different angles in the mirror... Damn, I?m good...
    7:24 am: Take a shower with perfumed oils and shave.
    7:48 am: Decide to wear a cloak today, to make myself look even more dashing.
    7:49 am: Decide that I like ?sexy? more than ?dashing?.
    7:52 am: Check hair in mirror once more.
    7:54 am: Comment to myself, "How do I look?"
    7:55 am: Speakerphone goes off again, "You look great, Tiger, go get em!" Hey, it?s a few extra dollars a month, but its worth it...
    8:02 am: "Accidentally" hit the wrong button on the elevator so I could stay on longer and listen to elevator music longer.
    8:18 am: After the elevator music finished its loop, stride out of the elevator, cape whipping behind me.
    8:19 am: Apologize to lady because I took her down with cape.
    8:25 am: Have freshly pureed and nutritionally balanced meal.
    8:29 am: Hit on waitress.
    8:30 am: Realize waitress is hologram.
    8:40 am: Still leave a big tip.
    8:55 am: Business meeting with Ambassador from planet Touristtrapa.
    9:03 am: Laugh at joke Ambassador made, and slam down hand on table for extra emphasis, "That?s not a Wookie! What a riot!"
    9:04 am: Realize that two knuckles are broken because slammed hand down on Electro-Stapler.
    9:23 am: Twirl mustache in fingers as I pretend to listen.
    9:45 am: Get paged by Lobot, a factory I own is under attack... Hmm, usually they wait until after lunch... I am actually glad to have a crisis as I leave my meeting...
    10:03 am: Find out from Lobot that factory is completely destroyed and is too late to do anything about it.
    10:04 am: Whine- er.... Grieving period.
    10:08 am: Hit the sabac tables to ?shake off the tragedy.?.
    10:23 am: Winning big! I keep playing, so I can get a new big screen holo-vid.
    10:45 am: Losing horribly! Going down in flames, I just lost the Lady Luck.
    10:48 am: Accuse dealer of cheating. No way I could be doing this bad!
    10:55 am: On way to emergency room... Ooo! the pain...! the pain...!
    11:03 am: Pose for hair gel commercial and sell out friends to evil empire.
    12:15 pm: Lunch. Start to feel bad..
    12:17 pm: Apologize to hair gel company and confess that I actually use a different brand and I only use the commercials for publicity.
    12:25 pm: Meet with friends I sold out. Give them lame excuse, "I had no choice, they arrived just before you did." Actually, they offered an incredible 401k and an attractive dental plan that I couldn?t resist...
    12:36 pm: Call insurance company to complain about their high rates... Sheesh! You lose one little manufacturing plant...
    12:38 pm: Memo to self on Lobot: Sue insurance company....

    Ok, so I'm not that funny but that's why I need help! Please post any ideas, no matter how crazy~!
  3. Gandalf the Grey

    Gandalf the Grey Jedi Knight star 6

    May 14, 2000
    LOL! I found it funny.

    Here are a few more lines for you?
    9:11am: Hit on the nurse as she bandages my hand. She seems to be a mighty fine lady?
    9:15am: Nurse isn?t a lady! Ewww!

    12:56pm: Standing in front of a mirror, practicing my suave, lady-killer smile.
    At random intervals have him take a shot of Colt .45.

    The day in the life that started it all might be of interest here. A Day in the Life of Chjyren der Vjiking was my primary inspiration. It was written by Chjyren der Vjiking (Chyren) way back in the UBB days.

    sigh You October and November people probably don?t even know who Chyren is. :(


    6:15 am: Wake up from dreams of having own religious cult dedicated to worshipping self in whatever way desired.

    6:16 am: Actually still living in crappy, refuse-infested trailer. Go back to bed.

    10:31 am: Wake up again. Smell burnt toast. Ponder meaning of what Clerk said about me being an arrogant pr*ck last night.

    10:48 am: Fall out of bed onto the floor.

    11:33 am: Bathroom.

    11:37 am: Go into living room. Watch TV. Stupid reporter harping on about courtesy, integrity, personal responsibility. Wish they paid non-airbrains for witless psychobabble too. What rubbish. Remote not working! Throw remote to turn set off.

    11:48 am: Check Email. Start posting either bizarre rubbish under a nym, or angry pompous crap under usual username.

    11:49 am: Latter Day Saints at door. Offer them hash cookies with a smile.

    11:51 am: Post last night's masterpiece exposing the hypocrisy of bashers. Get yelled at by other admins. Sulk.

    11:53 am: Bathroom.

    12:32 pm: Feeling draft getting unbearable. Put on underwear. Still drafty. Grumble about winter while putting on more clothes.

    12:38 pm: Bathroom.

    12:40 pm: Continue savoring aroma of burnt toast. Sudden Insight! Toaster NOT TURNED ON! Realize trailer is on fire! Get canister and point at flames.

    12:41 pm: Realise oxygen tank not best solution. Locate fire extinguisher.

    12:45 pm: Neighbor yells about all the noise. Turn extinguisher on neighbor. Experience cutting remarks by neighbor's German Shepherd. Retreat to trailer.

    1:15 pm: Rant at anyone and everyone in the Comms forum. Bathroom.

    1:36 pm: More prolix ranting. Find thesaurus. Make sure NO SPELLING MISTAKES! Obsessively use U.S. spellings of 'humor', 'color' and 'flavor' etc, "just to show 'em." Bathroom.

    1:58 pm: Go down to recreation center for daily workout. Go into locker room. Buy bubblegum from vending machine. Perv on the ladies.

    2:10 pm: Practice chewing gum and farting at the same time. What amazing physical coordination it must take to do these at the same time! Wish I could get it right. Marvel at really big bubbles. Realise it wasn't bubblegum in that vending machine! Ugh!

    2:16 pm: Still chewing. Rubbery flavor is going now. Workout time growing short, among other things.

    2:17 pm: Notice sight of astonished woman with towel that just exited shower room. Notice other ladies staring from inside shower room. Realise time is up. Also realise strange shape of huge bubble in front of face. Watch bubble fly across room with great pfffffffffft! sound.

    3:15 pm: Regain consciousness in hospital. Note to self: Rec center likely off list for future scoring chances. Back to bed.

    3:40 pm: Hangover worn off. Morning goal achieved! Was it the morphine? Bathroom.

    3:45 pm: Spin around on stool while nobody's looking. Knock down monitor. Enlighten frightened nurse how to kick-start own heart like just done.

    3:54 pm: Eat hospital food. Yell at nurse how food tastes like rubber. Wonder why male attendant looks at me funny after nurse bolts room. Yell at attendant. Bathroom.

    4:14 pm: Enjoy free trip back to trailer after remarkably quick recovery. First time been taken in squad car TO house! Service with a donut!

    4:30 pm: Begin daily routine of posting utter rubbish. Be sure to mention the word SPUTUM at least once today. Make up a new meaningless term to go with FLONK, S*P*O*N
  4. JediSmuggler

    JediSmuggler Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 5, 1999
    3:27 PM: Thank Kolman Tye for winning the Ladt Luck back for me.

    6:11 PM: Leave for dinner. At home. Wonder why I keep deciding to play sabaac with this smuggler when he cleans me out every kriffing time.

    6:12 PM: Listen to Mara Jade chuckle about my latest misadventure in a sabaac featuring Kolman Tye.
  5. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 23, 2001
    LOL! Thanks guys!

    6:17 pm: Realize that Mara is just watching a sitcom on the holo...
    6:18 pm: Takes a shot of Colt .45
  6. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 23, 2001
    The whole story is up! Thanks for all your help!

    Go Here /\
    _______ |______ ;)
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