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A Destiny Delayed- AU JA- Thanks, shanobi! *COMPLETED1/08/04*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by astroanna, Jan 29, 2003.

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  1. Musing

    Musing Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 31, 2003
    Hi Astroanna,

    I've read your other stories and liked them, which is why I've been following this fic since it started. To be honest, I'm a bit disappointed the way it turned out - it's too much like a Mary Sue, or an Obi-Sue, in this case. Everyone except Qui-Gon's too perfect and therefore too predictable. (And yes, that includes Xanatos - he's perfect as a villain :).) It was nice to see a Qui-Gon who didn't ruin his post-Bandomeer life by agonizing over not taking Obi-Wan as a padawan, though.
  2. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002
    Sheila- Thanks so much, that means a lot! :) Glad you enjoyed it!

    obi-ew- Coming from someone I admire so much, those words hold great value for me...thank you so much! :)

    PK- Thanks so much, PK!

    Shan- :D It all came from your seed, my dear!

    Musing- Thanks so much! It always helps to get feedback on what I can do to improve, but I'm very glad you stuck around and I hope you enjoy the epilogue! :)

    OK, all, here we go...hope this isn't too mushy... :D


    Obi-Wan made his way through the vast hallways of the Jedi temple, his steps purposeful but slow, their natural grace evident even to the most casual of observers.

    Three years had passed since he had become Qui-Gon Jinn?s apprentice and in that time he had become a valued and important member of the Jedi Order. That was why today was not an ordinary day for Obi-Wan. It was the day he would take his place among the ranks of the esteemed Jedi knights.

    Today was Obi-Wan?s knighting ceremony.

    Even though it was a day of joy, he could not go forward, could not begin the next chapter of his life without acknowledging his past and the master that was, and remained, so dear to him.

    It was not long before he reached the simple but lovely memorial that commemorated all the Jedi who had fallen.

    It was a wall of polished black stone, set at the far end of a vast hall with marble floors. The entire room was lit with golden sunlight that streamed through two huge windows and the names of all the fallen Jedi were inscribed with flowing silver letters.

    Slowly, silently, Obi-Wan made his way to the revered monument. Gradually he fell to his knees and lovingly placed the flower he had brought at the base of it. His head remained bowed for some time before his eyes raised themselves to gaze at his fallen master?s name.

    Luminara Unduli.

    Ignoring the tears that tracked their way down his face Obi-Wan gently traced his fingers over the reverently inscribed letters. Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan?s voice was a whisper when he finally spoke.

    ?I did it, Master. We did it. I wish you were here today, Master. Qui-Gon has been a great mentor to me, and I?ve come to respect him, even love him. He?s become the father I?ve never known.?

    Obi-Wan smiled, but it was bittersweet.

    ?But it?s still not fair that you?re not here with me to share in what we worked so hard for. You were like the mother I never knew, Master, and you should be here.?

    After several long moments Obi-Wan wiped away the last of his tears and got to his feet.

    ?I love you, Master.?

    For some time he simply stood there, immersing himself in the peace and tranquility of the serene place.

    Finally he heard footsteps behind him, and he knew in a moment who it was. Smiling, Obi-Wan spoke without turning around.

    ?Hi, Master.?

    Qui-Gon Jinn came to stand next to his apprentice, and he too was smiling. Turning toward the younger man, he waited until Obi-Wan was facing him.

    ?She?d be proud of you, Obi-Wan.?

    Qui-Gon gently cupped his apprentice?s cheek as he spoke.

    ?I know I am.?

    He drew his apprentice into a warm hug and the two were silent for several long moments. Qui-Gon drew away and looked into his apprentice?s eyes, and there was still a smile on his face.

    ?Come on, padawan.?

    Draping an arm around his apprentice?s shoulder, Qui-Gon led him from the memorial.

    The day would surely prove to be a memorable one; for both of them.


    Wow....well, that's that...I hope you all enjoyed this ride, I know I did...

    There are a couple of people I want to thank in particular, so I hope you'll all bear with me...

    Shanobi, of course, for letting me use this brilliant little piece of inspiration and for all the support she's given me every step of the way...thanks, girl! :D

    Obi-ew, I couldn't have done it without all the encouragement and support, so thanks so're the best! [face_c
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 6, 2002
    Great job astro. I loved the epilogue. I hope to see another story from you sometime soon, I really enjoyed this one. :)
  4. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    Beautiful- but you forgot the kleenex alert :_|
  5. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl

    Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 16, 2001
    ~Crys her eyes out, that was so sad, but happy at the same time, they only had 3 years together, but they where good ones....
  6. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 11, 2001
    That was the perfect amount of mush astroanna! You did such an incredible job with this, and i'm so humbled that such a great story could come from one of my lil ole plot bunnies :)

    You said all you needed to say in this epiloque. You showed us how much Obi has grown, and that he hasn't forgotten Luminara, and gave us a real glimpse into the relationship that developed between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. It was a very warm and loving apprenticeship under both of his masters.

    This was a great fic and I hate to see it end. Are you planning to move on to something new, or are you possibly thinking a sequel?? :D Whatever your plans, I wish you luck :)

  7. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    Wonderful way to end it and not too mushy. :) I have to agree with Shan . A sequel would be nice, after all Xan is still amongst the living and I'm sure eager to get revenge. [face_devil] Can't wait to see whatever you decide to do next.
  8. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002
    Sheila- Why thanks! :) I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

    PK- [face_laugh] Sorry about that!!

    Jenny- Thanks! :)

    Shan- :D Thank you so much! I'm very pleased that you enjoyed what I did with your idea and as for what's next...I'm not really sure... :)

    obi-ew- Thanks so much, and I couldn't have done it without you! :)

    Well, all, I have to admit I'm not really sure what I'm going to write next, but I'll definitely keep anyone who wants to know posted... :)

  9. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    I missed the ending! [face_shocked]

    Sorry! Like everyone else said, just the right amount of mush. :D I'm sure Luminara was watching wherever she happened to be. A sequel would be good - Xanatos wouldn't stayed locked up for very long...

    Hope to see more from you when you can manage it, Astro!

  10. RosyRedFinguredDawn

    RosyRedFinguredDawn Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 19, 2003
    I found it again! Excellent job. I like that the dolt finally figured it out. Thanks for the story. Its been fun. (do consider a sequel.)
  11. Forbidden_Donut

    Forbidden_Donut Jedi Youngling

    Jan 19, 2004
    I liked this story a lot. Thank you.
  12. PaddyJuan

    PaddyJuan Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 15, 2002

    A wonderful story. You built Luminara's and Obi-wan's relationship so very well.
  13. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002
    Shaindl- Thanks so much! :) I'm very glad you liked it!

    RRFD- Thanks! :) I doubt I'll do a sequel, but we'll see...I'm sure I'll keep writing and posting, though... :)

    F-D- Thanks! :)

    PaddyJuan- Why thanks so much, I'm glad you liked it!

    Thanks so much, all!

  14. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002
    One last up!

  15. Forbidden_Donut

    Forbidden_Donut Jedi Youngling

    Jan 19, 2004
  16. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002
    Why thanks for the up, FD! :)
  17. Angel5000

    Angel5000 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 6, 2001
    I just read this todya and wanted to say AWESOME job!! Very well written. :)
  18. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002
    Why, thanks so much, Angel5000! I always appreciate feedback! :D
  19. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002
    I'm just going to up this one last time! :)
  20. REALbluelightsaber

    REALbluelightsaber Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 11, 2004
    I just read the whole thing and I thought I would let you know I loved it! :D

    Great job!
  21. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002

    Wow, I thought this thread would die, but I guess not!

    Thanks so much, REALbluelightsaber, I really appreciate it! :D :)
  22. kateydidnt

    kateydidnt Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 11, 2004
    Great story! I will now have to raid your bio for more stories by you given the level of your writing talent displayed in this story. :D Beware of multiple reviews about to come your way!
  23. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002

    Bring it on, girl! I'm always thrilled to have new readers!


    Thanks so much, kateydidnt!!
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