Before A Different Point of View - Xanatos vig

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Indra, Oct 16, 2006.

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  1. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    Title:A Different Point of View
    Author: Indra
    Character: Xanatos
    Author's Notes: I'm slowly trying to get back into writing and so I though I'd go back to what I once enjoyed and see if it would do the trick. So I looked at the old Xanatos challenge thread and found this Halloween challenge from last year: In honor of Halloween, the October challenge is to write a spooky, creepy, scary vig! Xan doesn't have to be the Evil Spooky One, he just has to be the main focus of the vig. Please tell me what you think. A big thank you to Yodan for the beta and the help with the title. [:D]




    The sounds were the same every night. It would start as a gentle tapping as if someone had neglected to turn the shower off all the way. Then there would be the slide of his bedroom door opening and there had been a time when he wondered why his Master couldn't hear it. The rustling of a cloak would follow. Then the tapping again, louder now, no longer like water.

    Xanatos lay in his bed with his eyes wide open staring out the window, his back to the door. He knew the hand would come. It would clamp over his mouth, cutting off the cry of horror that wanted to escape and Xanatos was glad it did. He had his moments of weakness when he wished the cry would be let out, so Qui-Gon would hear and come to his aid, but mostly he didn't wish it. Mostly he endured, because there was just no other way.

    The hand came like it did every night and he didn't quite manage to suppress the tremor that coursed through his body. He faced the other way as long as possible until he was turned around by strong hands and pulled to his feet. He didn't resist, knowing from experience long ago that it was futile. Instead he followed the figure in the cloak, out of the quarters, through the long corridors, down the emergency stairs that were hardly ever used. They never met anybody and Xanatos was grateful yet again.

    They reached the underground construction beneath the Temple and entered the long hallway Xanatos knew so well, They moved past the rows of pictures carved in stone, illuminated by the glow rod the stranger had brought, like he had done every night for as long as he had come to Xanatos' home. They stopped in front of a picture far down the corridor. All was silent once the echo of their footsteps had died away.

    Xanatos stared at the picture, waiting for the voice from underneath the cowl to begin speaking. He had never seen the face under the hood and he was glad for it, as it would only have been another secret to conceal from his Master.

    The picture was like all the others down there. There were three people, all of them wore cloaks, two had lightsabres raised above the head of the third, who was cowering before them. The voice started then and while Xanatos had wished in the beginning that he could make himself deaf for as long as it lasted, he now listened, not exactly wanting to hear it, but not fighting anymore.

    'The Battle of Trinadis.' The voice was like that of a teacher, only a million times crueller, its low hiss still making Xanatos want to hide until he got used to it again for the night. 'Or rather, the massacre of Trinadis. It is only called a battle by those who have the blood of innocents on their hands.'

    Xanatos knew what was coming next. He had heard it countless times and though hearing it had become easier over the months, a part of him still clung to his old teachings, not wanting to let go, reaching for a simpler time.

    'You know who they are, Xanatos. You know to which Order the men with the lightsabres belong, the men who killed the people of Trinadis, who annihilated the Order of the Sith, because they did not want to accept another power beside their own.'

    The voice fell silent, but Xanatos knew it wasn't finished.

    'I know you thought you belonged to them once, that you were seduced by their lies, blinded by the control they exert over your mind. But I found you, Xanatos. I found you and I'm leading you back to the true ways of the Force.'

    Another pause and the man moved further down
  2. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    This is very good!! Kinda creepy, but I like the way you wrote it :D It's an interesting take on Xanatos. I like the bit about the hand especally; it adds good detail and depth. I like the way I feel that I can connect with this character's thoughts and emotions. Very good job!! =D=
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was creepy. I really loved the idea of the sound of water that was really the tapping of the dark one coming to take Xan away into the depths of the Temple. Love how the bad guy was twisting everything around and making it seem like the Jedi were the bad ones.

    Great job. Does this mean you are going to do more Scars and Beginnings? Please [face_praying]
  4. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    Nicely done, Indra! Very creepy.

    I like how the story explains Xanatos's seduction to the dark side.
  5. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Whoa - that was very chilling.

    The idea that anyone could sneak through the Temple without the Jedi knowing...

    It's too bad Xanatos did defy whoever it was and confide in Qui-Gon.

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  6. XANl Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2006
    star 1
    o_O that was scary, and I wanted to read more. You could continue this till halloween. Excellent!!
  7. DarthMousche Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2005
    star 3
    :eek: Fantastic job with giving us the creeps, especially with the hand that silences him. It's so sad to see how the threads of his connection to his master and the Jedi are being severed one by one.
  8. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    What the hell? Where's the rest?! :p

    The sounds were the same every night. It would start as a gentle tapping as if someone had neglected to turn the shower off all the way.

    Way to set the tone. =D= What I absolutely love is that I can't even be sure why Xanatos is slowly changing his mind. Is it because he actually thinks the stranger's opinions are truth, or because he's heard the lecture so many times that it's easier to believe than resist? Or...is the stranger doing something to his mind? The field day you could have with these questions.

    Excellent vig! So happy to see you writing again. :D
  9. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    Nice and creepy - poor kid knowing some stranger was going to come take him every night, but just curious enough to want to know what the stranger would tell him.
  10. Yodan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2005
    star 3
    You know I love this one! :)

    I love how the fic shows a reason for Xan's fall, well the groundwork at least. A great vig for the season.

    I advise you to up it on the 31st, as it is quite Halloweeny.
  11. padawan3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 1999
    star 4
    Well that story just gave me shivers down the entire length of my spine.
  12. nickenobi-nz Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 1
    OOooo :eek: Very creepy, but very good! Well done!

    [face_skull]

    Yay for halloween fic!!
  13. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    NYCitygurl I'm glad the atmosphere came across and that the characters were believable. Thanks.

    dianethx You might have to wait a bit longer for 'Scars', but it's looking good about a job, so as soon as I'm settled in I'll get back to it. :) In the meantime, thanks for putting up with my weird vig ideas. :p

    Jedikma There are sooo many scenarios one can write about his fall and I thought this would fit Halloween quite well. Thanks for reading!

    KELIA Thanks! I was wondering if it would be believable that someone could walk through the Temple like that. I'm glad it was.

    XANl I'm not ready to tackle another longer piece, so this will remain a one-shot, but I'm glad you liked it. :)

    DarthMousche I tried to show that it was a long process, even though I only wrote about one night and I'm so happy it worked. Thank you!

    JadeSolo Do you always have to ask for more? :p I have a liking for ambiguity in my fics, so I think I'll let you tackle those questions on your own. :D

    Master_Noi I see Xan as a very curious person, at least when he was young. I guess he wanted to explore other ways than what the Jedi showed him, which ultimately led him to where he ended up.

    Yodan And here it is! :D Thanks for your help!

    padawan3 I'm very happy it worked. Thanks for commenting.

    nickenobi-nz Thank you! :)
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