Before "A disturbance in the Force." JA apprentice - Obi-Wan -Qui-Gon. - 18th Mar 2013.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Gkilkenny, Nov 29, 2011.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    :_| Qui-Gon you fool! He's just a little kid! Poor Obi. He was completely justified in saying those things, even if it didn't help his position in any way. Yoda needs to give that man a good beating!

    Very good post. Lots of good, genuine emotion. =D=
  2. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    Qui-Gon is a.... lets call him a condescending jerk.
  3. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Wow, very emotionally intense chapter! I could really feel the tension between Obi and Qui, poor guys :( I can't wait to see more of this, great job :D
  4. littleobiwankenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2009
    star 1
    wonderful, another story about my favorite team Obi/Qui.

    Can´t wait for more, wonderful start.

    PM's please?[:D]
  5. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot
    But then, I suppose the greater the pain, the greater h/c to come...right, Geri?

    You are so right, and there is more pain coming.[face_worried]

    AzureAngel2
    Qui-Gon will see the error of his ways? but will it be too late.:_|


    Jade_ Eyes
    learning the hard way. And having even more to regret afterwards.

    So true, and he will not learn until it?s??.[face_not_talking]


    earlybird-obi-wan
    Pain and suffering is at the heart of the Jedi.[face_worried]


    Shira_Adola
    Yes Qui-Gon was a bit of a fool, but he has some redeeming qualities, unfortunately
    I can?t think of any at the moment.[face_thinking]

    Ocelotl_Nesto
    condescending jerk. Yes I agree and he will regret it.

    serendipityaey
    There are more tense moments to come. For Qui-Gon and my faithful readers.:( [face_worried]

    littleobiwankenobi
    Yes my favourites as well, and yes I will PM you.


    Thanks for your reviews everyone.

    ooo



    A few minutes earlier…

    Master Kain the Administrator of the Jedi’s contribution to the development of better advances in crop production was standing in the middle of the arrival area at the Agri-Corps shuttle spaceport. He’d received a rushed communication a few minutes ago, to say that a new arrival was coming on the Sierra and from the information he’d already received a couple of days before from Master Yoda, he decided to personally be there for this initiate.

    Aaron Kain was a retired Jedi Master, who’d spent his life in Jedi service until ten years ago when he’d been injured in an accident and he’d taken the position of Administrator of the corps on Bandomeer. He was in his eighties and even though his species lived to well over a hundred years he felt it was time to slow down and leave the negotiations and missions to the younger masters. The idea of being out in the country in the fresh air appealed to him and he’d been happy to take up the offered position.

    However, Master Kain was very disturbed about this current pick up. A few days ago he’d received a communiqué from the Jedi council, informing him of the possibility of the arrival. It appeared to him to be a last minute decision and they were very vague with the information on the boy.

    They’d forwarded his records through the net, but insisted that there was a distinct possibility that the boy wouldn’t be enrolled at the corps. The initiates name was Obi-Wan Kenobi and his records indicated that he was an excellent student with a high midi-chlorian count. His sabre training teacher had given him advanced marks in combat skills and his grasp of Galactic Law and political strategy was in the advanced stages.

    A notation on the bottom of the boy’s records had Master Kain scratching his head and he didn’t understand why they’d sent such a capable initiate to the corps in the first place, and so earlier he’d contacted Master Yoda for an explanation…

    “Master Yoda, I’m concerned about this notation regarding initiate Kenobi. It states that his assignment here is temporary, and it’s expected that he will be apprenticed to a master prior to his arrival and that his case is special. I’m stunned that a boy with his abilities has been assigned to the agri-corps in the first place.”

    “Master Kain, imperative it was that Obi-Wan, to Bandomeer should go. The one who is destined to be his master, called to Bandomeer he was, but listen to the will of the Force in the matter of taking an apprentice he does not! Change his mind I have no doubt and bring young Kenobi back as his apprentice he will.”

    “What if this master doesn’t change his mind?”

    “Change his mind he will, of that I am certain.” Yoda said confidently.



    As Master Kain watched the shuttle land he remembered thinking that the council were risking a lot on the belief that the master would change his mind, and now it appeared he hadn’t. He didn’t like the mind tricks the council sometimes used to get what they wanted and up until now their decisions had been acceptable, but he’d heard rumours himself that some Jedi were beginning to argue that some of their decisions were wrong. He also knew that Master Yoda seemed concerned about the lad and told him to contact him immediately if the boy did turn up.

    Passengers were coming down the ramp now, smiling and waving to their friends and family and he wondered if young Kenobi would be happy to be here. He had a holo- pic of the young boy and he checked each person as they came down the ramp.

    The sound of another shuttle arriving made Master Kain realise that soon the shuttle port would be swarming with people arriving from all over Bandomeer. The enrichment zone was quite large and there were several sections hiring workers from all over the galaxy. He hoped that Obi-Wan would come out soon as he didn’t want to be caught up in a long queue getting him cleared from the spaceport.

    The trip from the main spaceport on Bandomeer to the agri-corps only took a few minutes, which meant he didn’t have time to contact Yoda, and he had to hurry to be there to meet young Kenobi.

    Master Kain’s attention was drawn to one of the shuttle crew that wheeled the delivery of seeds down the ramp and brought them to him. He knew the seeds had been ordered and were coming on this flight so he decided that he’d collect them at the same time saving one of his workers the job of collecting them later.

    Nevertheless, he wished he’d had time to contact Master Yoda, prior to this. When Master Jinn contacted him he’d been in the middle of instructing some of his students and Jinn hadn’t given him much notice informing him that the shuttle was leaving immediately.

    He sensed a disturbance in the Force and looked back up to the ramp. Obi-Wan was standing at the top, and around him was a glow that seemed to encompass the boy's aura, yet it was bouncing off him as though he was blocking the Force with an invisible barrier. There was an agitated sense of gloom through the Force and he stretched out to find distressed emotions pouring off the boy. His immediate inclination was that this child should never have left the temple.

    He couldn’t get the bad feeling out of his mind as he watched Obi-Wan walk slowly down the ramp and he wondered if the master that was supposed to take Obi-Wan as his apprentice was Master Jinn, he’d heard of him by reputation only.

    Jinn was quite abrupt when he explained that he was sending initiate Kenobi on the shuttle. Kain knew Master Yoda thought highly of Jinn, but his impression from Jinn’s call didn’t endear Jinn to him.

    As Obi-Wan stepped closer he noticed that he’d been crying. His face was very pale, but his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were red. The Force swirled around him in an agitated state and he wondered if Master Jinn had noticed the disturbed countenance of the boy.

    It sent a flare of annoyance through him to think that a Master of Jinn’s reputation and standing would have sent an initiate in this obviously emotional state on a shuttle by himself. The boy seemed to be in a daze and Aaron tried to alleviate the boy’s tension by smiling at him.

    He knew without a doubt that the first thing he would do when they reached his office was to contact Master Yoda. There was something definitely wrong about all this.

    “Hello, initiate Kenobi.” he said calmly.

    The sound of his voice was all it took for the young boy to focus on him and bow respectfully. “Hello Master, yes, I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

    “It’s a pleasure to meet you Obi-Wan; my name is Master Aaron Kain. We shall clear you with the port authorities and then we’ll head to the corps. If you would be so kind as to push this trolley for me I will clear a path.



    “Yes Master Kain,” the boy said as he put his small bag on top of the trolley.

    “The shuttle port is getting quite busy and I don’t want anyone falling over the trolley in their haste. When we arrive at the agri-corps I’ll have someone take that trolley from you and then you can come with me. I want to contact the temple and let them know you’ve arrived.”

    He could sense the boy’s misery and he wished he could tell him what Yoda had said, however, it wasn’t his place to step on the council’s toes. He was certain that they would explain themselves to Obi-Wan when the time came. The boy would be safe with him and he’d make sure Obi-Wan was comfortable until the council sorted this mess out.

    “Wait here Obi-Wan while I have your papers stamped.”

    “Yes Master.”

    He felt his annoyance rise knowing that this boy was a pawn in a dangerous game that the council were playing, and he was certainly going to voice his disapproval when he contacted Yoda.

    It didn’t take long before he called to Obi-Wan to bring the trolley over and they would head to the exit gates. It was only a short walk to the corps, but the way the port was filling it would be difficult pushing the trolley without bumping into someone.

    Obi-Wan was handling the trolley easily, weaving in and out and avoiding the people, but out of the corner of Kain’s vision he noticed several scruffy looking men pointing to the trolley. He thought he should get back to Obi-Wan when he saw them, just in case those men were thinking of stealing the contents of the trolley. They might think that the boy was alone and would be no match for two men.

    The Force was still agitated and he tried to attract Obi-Wan’s attention. The boy was looking directly in front of the trolley, but was not concentrating on his surroundings, and he couldn’t blame him one bit.

    He moved through the crowd towards Obi-Wan, but people were in a hurry to get through the gates before it became impossibly crowded and were pushing him aside. He kept his eyes on the two men and tried to attract Obi-Wan’s attention.

    This place was always busy and the security guards were good at controlling the crowds and keeping everyone honest. However, by instinct bred into him from being a Jedi he rested his hand on his sabre…
    Last edited by Gkilkenny, Feb 21, 2013
  6. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Hmmm. So instead of being the turning point, ;) the chapter before this one apparently didn't change the immediate or long-term course of things for Obi-Wan.

    [face_thinking]

    Definitely looking forward to more and feeling like :( sometimes choices are taken out of your hands by circumstances and all you have is regrets - i.e., by the time Qui-Gon realizes Obi-wan and Yoda had the right of it, the point could be a moot one. [face_worried]

  7. AzureAngel2 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    The Force was still agitated and he tried to attract Obi-Wan?s attention. The boy was looking directly in front of the trolley, but was not concentrating on his surroundings, and honestly, he couldn?t blame him one bit.

    He moved through the crowd towards Obi-Wan, but people were in a hurry to get through the gates before it became impossibly crowded and were pushing him aside. He kept his eyes on the two men and tried to attract Obi-Wan?s attention.

    This place was always busy and the security guards were good at controlling the crowds and keeping everyone honest. However, by instinct bred into him from being a Jedi he rested his hand on his sabre?


    Exciting. I have no clue where this is going, but keep me on your update list. I am rather excited here. Intrigue and mystery seem to wait ahead... due to wrong decisions and prejudice.
  8. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    I, too, have no idea where you're going with this and that is refreshing - well, I'm never quite sure where your stories are going with all the twists and turns.

    Sounds like Obi finally has someone on his side!
  9. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    I like your interpretations of sensing people... noticing small details... augmented with the Force.
  10. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    No idea at all but Master Kain seems to be a nice person
  11. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    This is really great. More soon?[face_love]
  12. obimom Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Just finally read chapter two..loving this! I didn't know this was a Obi-Wan/ Bandomeer / Qui-gon's stubbord resistance to him story...

    Wow!! Looking forward to reading more!!

    And as always, your writing is fantastic...=D=
  13. obimom Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Ok, the third chapter made me cry...:_|

    So much pain!! I could feel the pain and hurt in Obi-Wan, and the flying accusing words spoken out of hurt and rejection...Oh, my!!

    Obi-Wan is too good for Qui-Gon...but open up your heart to Obi-Wan, you big jerk[face_frustrated]
  14. obimom Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Darn! I thought there was more!! I'm all caught up now, and am also very glad the master has seen behind the council manipulations and is ready to defend Obi-Wan and help him...

    Now to see what happens in this potentially tense situation...[face_worried]

    Love seeing a new and fresh version of the original story of Bandomeer...with a lot more depth and emotion too!!

    Love this, Geri!! =D=
  15. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    His immediate inclination was that this child should never have left the temple.
    I agree. I also agree that the Council's dangerously playing with him.

    I have no idea where this is going, but I'm enjoying it immensely!:D
  16. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    I love Master Kain's compassion toward Obi-Wan and I certainly agree with him, I wonder what else will transpire with Qui... [face_thinking] Lovely update! Did I miss the pm? Ah well, I found the story anyway! :D


    Edit: I did get the pm, I assumed it was for The Saga story without reading it [face_blush] My mistake!
  17. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Jade_eyes

    No, not much changed. Life?s path is still unknown and the will of the Force is being tested.[face_worried]
    There will be regrets and sadness abound.:_| Glad you?re enjoying this and I hope to keep it moving.



    AzureAngel2


    I?m very happy I am keeping you in the dark so to speak.:D The Force is a mystical energy and who can say what it will do.[face_worried]

    Valairy_Scot
    I can?t believe I have you all in the palm of my hand.[face_devil] I could kill him, there is a possibility you know that I finally decided to kill Obi-Wan.:D Now that would be a new twist.[face_thinking]

    Sounds like Obi finally has someone on his side! Yes it does sound like that, but not who you think.[face_whistling]

    Ocelotl_Nesto

    Thank you I do try to keep it real if possible.[face_dancing]

    earlybird-obi-wan

    Master Kain has a small part, but yes I made him compassionate and nice.:cool:

    charie

    Thanks for reviewing and more coming.:D

    obimom

    There are only a few young hard done by Obi-Wan stories around just now, and mine usually don?t have a deadly amount of angst like this one.:eek:

    Oh dear you don?t want to cry:_| and I was going to tell you to get the tissues out.o_O


    Shira_Adola
    Thanks and the council are manipulative and it is heading to where some may want to pull out the tissues.:_|

    serendipity
    At least one master shows his feelings and compassion. Master Kain is that man. But will it be enough to save our Obi.O:)




    ooo


    Earlier on Coruscant.

    Master Yoda was feeling every bit his eight hundred years; the inner peace that he had achieved so many times in his meditations was elusive now. The Force was agitated and unsettled and it didn’t bode well for the future. Yoda knew immediately that he and the council had made a mistake in sending Obi-Wan to Bandomeer. His ears drooped knowing that he’d been the one to insist that Qui-Gon would come to his senses and recognise that Obi-Wan’s place was at his side.

    Under normal circumstances Qui-Gon, like any other master would meet the prospective initiate that was ready to be apprenticed and over a period of time get to know them. This allowed student and master to grow a connection through the Force and if they were compatible or a bond formed unaided, then a partnership would begin. However, Qui-Gon refused to acknowledge that a fledgling bond existed between him and Obi-Wan and every time that Yoda tried to push him into accepting the will of the Force Qui-Gon would find a way to leave Coruscant. This time was no different when he accepted the mission to Bandomeer. Yoda thought the only way to get them together was to send Obi-Wan on the same ship as Qui-Gon.

    He’d seen it in the flow that under Qui-Gon’s tutelage Obi-Wan would become a great Jedi, one with great strength and compassion, and who would bind the galaxy together and keep the light of the Jedi from being extinguished forever. Obi-Wan’s aura was distinctive and while darkness was creeping closer it would never totally smother the galaxy if Obi-Wan was Qui-Gon’s apprentice.

    Abruptly a feeling of impending doom brought Yoda out of his fitful meditation and he reached over to his com-link as it began to buzz. He sensed that it was Qui-Gon on the other end…

    Hearing Qui-Gon insist that he was following the will of the Force as he saw it by sending Obi-Wan to the agri-corps, was too much for Yoda to listen to and he disconnected the call before he said anymore than he already had to the foolish master.

    He sighed and tapped his cane on the floor. It was time to bring young Obi-Wan home and he pressed a code on his com-link contacting the council, requesting them to join him in the chambers to discuss this turn of events.

    ooo

    “Master Jinn believes he does that follow the will of the Force he has and sent young Obi-Wan to the Agri-Corps he did. Told me that returning to Coruscant alone he is.”

    Master Gallia took a deep breath and exhaled. “I had a bad feeling about this from the beginning. We’ve made a grave error in judgement and assumed to much where Qui-Gon is concerned. He’s changed over the last few years since his last apprentice failed him and the order and Qui-Gon has built a wall around his heart and it has turned to stone. The compassion that Qui-Gon once possessed has been sucked out of him. First by his own master Dooku and then Xanatos, and I regret to say that Qui-Gon has proven that he is unfit to train another apprentice.”

    Mace Windu nodded and leant back in his seat. “Master Gallia is right we have been very lenient with Master Jinn. Two months ago we were going to censure him for his outlandish behaviour, but he managed to get himself assigned another mission by Chancellor Valorum and left the temple before we could remove him from active duty. It is time we stopped pandering to Master Jinn.”

    “Deal with Master Jinn we will when returns to the temple he does.” Yoda said quietly.

    The other masters voiced their agreement and then Master Gallia asked Yoda about Obi-Wan. “Have you contacted the agri-corps; does Master Kain know that Obi-Wan will be returning to the temple?”

    “Know he does that a possibility it was, contact him I will, and go to Bandomeer to bring Obi-Wan home. Made my decision I have, Obi-Wan Kenobi my apprentice he will be.” Yoda stated.



    ooo

    Qui-Gon made his way to where the three men were arguing and stepped in-between the one who had his hand on his blaster and a white haired man who was poking the third younger man in the chest with his finger.

    Qui-Gon made a point of moving his cloak to the side to show his sabre on his belt. Most people on Bandomeer knew a Jedi when they saw one and Qui-Gon hoped that his presence would diffuse the situation. “Gentlemen, may I be of any assistance?”

    The white haired man was the first to speak. “Oh good a Jedi, will you tell these men to get out of my way and let me go. This one accused me of stealing his bag; but I can assure you that it is mine!”

    The other man took his hand off his blaster and pointed to a trolley in the corner that still had bags on it. “His bag is still on the trolley this one is my sons and I told him it was, but he won’t listen.”

    Qui-Gon glanced over to the trolley, and it was full of bags.

    “Sir there is an easy way for us to solve this problem and then we can all be on our way. We can open the bag to see whose clothes are in it.”

    The white haired man was adamant. “I told you it’s mine and I have no intention of spilling my clothes out all over the ground.”

    Qui-Gon was getting irritated and he wanted to leave these people to their own petty squabbles, but he didn’t want to be responsible if anything happened. “Please wait here a moment while I look for the other bag.” Qui-Gon said and went to the trolley. At the bottom was a bag identical to the white haired man’s bag and Qui-Gon handed it to the son and asked him to open it, which the youth did. Once it was open the white haired man apologised profusely, when he saw his clothes in the bag.

    Qui-Gon took several calming breaths as he headed back to the small room to think about his conversation with Yoda. He’d been taken back when Yoda cut him off. He’d never heard such irritation coming from the small Master and he thought back to the days when he was ready to become a Knight.

    Yoda was the one, who defended him against his own Master Dooku, and he wondered why he would bring up his old masters antics now, and he didn’t understand why Yoda was championing Obi-Wan so much, until Yoda’s words sunk in and he realised what he’d done. Obi-Wan was just like him. In need of a friend and Yoda had been there for them both and Qui-Gon had done to Obi-Wan what his own Master had done to him.

    Yoda’s words repeated themselves over and over. (“As is your indifference to Obi-Wan’s plight, a great Jedi I foresee him becoming under your tutelage. Nothing but darkness do I see now.

    Yoda means I will go down the dark path not Obi-Wan.)

    Qui-Gon closed his eyes and opened up to the Force. It was always there waiting for him and yet it felt different somehow. The Force was beckoning him to reflect on his life. It was something he never did, for it always brought up bad memories. However, the Force seemed insistent and so he obeyed. It was a few minutes before he found his centre and abruptly his past flooded in like a tidal wave.

    Everything he’d accused Obi-Wan of being, his master Dooku had done to him and years before, Qui-Gon had sworn on the oath of the Force that he would never sink to that level him self. He felt mortified by his own callousness and asked the Force to forgive him. It was then that he felt the Force move through him and an image of Obi-Wan came to mind.

    The boy glowed within the light of the Force and Qui-Gon sensed the deep love and commitment Obi-Wan had for the Force and he could sense how much it loved him in return. He’d seen it while they were defending the passengers on the Monument, only then, he’d pushed that image to the back of his mind and thought only of the moment.

    It wasn’t long before disturbances in the Force made the image of Obi-Wan shimmer and then fade away pulling Qui-Gon out of his meditation. He felt a shiver run up his spine and he rose quickly to look around, but nothing seemed out of place.

    He stepped out through the door and gazed off into the distance toward the agri-corps. Unbearable heat rose within him and panic threatened to overtake him, but he clamped down the emotions that were vying to surface. There was an urgency flowing through the Force and he knew without a doubt he had made a terrible mistake. He hurried to a secluded spot and took out his com-link.

    “Hello, my name is Master Qui-Gon Jinn, and there has been an error made; an initiate has been sent to the agri-corps by mistake his name is Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Has he arrived yet, can I speak to him?”

    “Hello Master Jinn, my name is Officer Justin. Master Kain has not returned from the shuttle port yet.”



    “Well as soon as he arrives, please have him contact me. Tell Master Kain that I will come on the next shuttle and Obi-Wan will be returning to Coruscant with me as my apprentice. Here is my com-number.” Qui-Gon said quickly.

    “Yes Master Jinn, I will be sure to have him contact you as soon as he returns.”

    “Thank you Officer Justin.”
    Last edited by Gkilkenny, Feb 21, 2013
  18. obimom Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    You go, Master Kain!! =D=

    Just like Obi-Wan, to step in front of danger to protect someone else...

    And now Qui-gon has come to his senses FINALLY, but is it too late? I mean, even if Obi-Wan survives?

    He may have to fight Yoda for him...:p

    Great chapter, can't wait for more!!
  19. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2

    OMG! You won't kill off Obi will you?
    I hope Qui-Gon realizes what an *ss he has been.
    Great chapter. Keep it coming soon please.[face_hypnotized] =D=
  20. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    don't kill Obi-Wan. Let the healers and Qui-Gon save him.[face_praying]

    Leaving us with a cliffhanger
  21. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    WOW! That was unexpected! Well it certainly isnt dull, nice twist.
  22. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    =D= Very well written and intense.

  23. AzureAngel2 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Got myself a torch for the darkness ahead.

    ;)

    Anyway, very intense writing and a good focus on the emotions of the characters.

    I am curious what you will serve us next, chéf!

    [:D]
  24. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Not Obi!!! Oh no! But... I have faith. The galaxy needs him [face_love] Really enjoyed reading both Yoda's and Qui's thoughts and am so glad Obi has Kain on his side. Great job!
  25. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    :eek: You did shoot Obi-Wan! You terrible person! And you ended with a cliff-hanger!

    That's ok though, because it was a good post and you can't kill Obi-Wan *smiles smugly*

    I'm glad Qui-Gon finally came to his senses. Although, knowing the Council, it could be too late. I'm looking forward to seeing Qui-Gon and Yoda battle it out for rights as Obi-Wan's Master:D
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