Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Gkilkenny, Nov 29, 2011.
So, you think he's been dead long enough, or do you want to see Qui-Gon suffer some more.
Well, there would not be a story without suffering, right?
Azure, but if that's where it ends, it's just a bummer and that's it
Serendipitaey : I’m ready to try posting again I hope I figured it out this time.
Valairy Scot: Of course I can kill him, but not this time.
Jade eyes: I wouldn’t do that to you, so no bummers here.
ClaudiaR: you did well with all your guesses, here it comes.
AzureAngel2: Yep we all love to make them suffer and then give em a cuddle.
Earlybird-obi-wan: I hadn’t thought about Dalek being weird I don’t watch Doc Who.
Ocelotl_Nesto: It could impact me Everyone might want to kill me if I kill Obi-Wan.
Obimom: Doctor Who won’t be coming to the party.
Windz: Here it comes.
Sorry to keep you in suspense for so long.
Storm clouds gathered behind Qui-Gon’s closed eyes; rage filling every molecule of his body and he couldn’t bear to open them to see the accusing glare he alleged would be on the faces of Master Kain and the healers.
That innocent child who asked for nothing more than he deserved was gone. How could he have been so blind not to see the dedication that was there for all to see in Obi-Wan.
Why was he still living when it was certain to him that his life was over? How could he face anyone, he had to flee this place, but where to go, certainly not back to the Jedi temple. Never back to the Jedi.
How long had he knelt there over the empty bed; moments, maybe hours, he didn’t care, nothing mattered anymore. Nevertheless, he couldn’t linger any longer and if Kain knew what was best for him he better not speak to him.
He rose stiffly to his feet, opening his eyes. Mystification overrode the rage simmering under his skin and he spun around. Dizziness caught him, too fast he’d turned expecting to see Kain and the healers glaring at him, surprise and a blossoming headache made him squint at the absence of anything familiar around him.
Gone was the bed and machines, gone were the healers; Master Kain, and as a matter of fact the whole room was gone. Fear leads to anger and that leads to hate and hate led to suffering and he was suffering now and he was tormented by his inability to control his surroundings.
His thoughts were in turmoil; irrational fear overpowered his senses and that was an emotion that he abhorred. He drew on the Force; it was there in abundance, however, in his current state it was allusive like sand seeping through the pores in his skin.
South, East, North and West, he turned to each direction, but everywhere he looked was nowhere he’d been before. Everything was shimmering, crystals jutted out of the walls surrounding him, but where? It was unlike any crystal cave he’d ever been in. The living Force was strong in this weird place and it bounced around and penetrated his body, it hurt to let it enter with the intention of consoling him, he didn’t want to be consoled he wanted to know why Obi-Wan had to die.
A cluster of crystals drew his attention to the far wall as they glowed and one by one more clusters began glowing until the cave was glistening and a thin layer of mist covered the floor around his feet.
He swallowed and cleared his throat, “Where am I?” Qui-Gon said and the walls echoed his question back to him.
‘Am I dead?”
Silence was his only answer and his frustration rose again. “I must be here for a reason, why won’t you answer me?”
Qui-Gon was about to speak again when a small glowing orb broke away from a cluster of crystals and hovered in front of him. It grew in size and Qui-Gon stepped back and had to shade his eyes from the brilliant white glow. He squinted, but kept his eyes open until the wisps of white light spread out like strips of glowing white ribbon stretching out toward him.
He recognised it to be the same phenomena that encased Obi-Wan and for a moment he thought it was him returning.” Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan is that you?”
Qui-Gon was mesmerised by the wispy tentacles, but when the form took the shape of a man he did not recognise; he felt such despair fill him that he could hardly breathe.
“Who are you and where is Obi-Wan?”
“I am Andur, a guardian spirit of the living.”
“You’re a guardian! How could you be a guardian of the living and let Obi-Wan die?”
“I did not let Obi-Wan die.”
“Obi-Wan is in the hands of the Force and to answer your question, no you’re not dead, but at a dangerous crossroad in your life Qui-Gon Jinn.”
“What do you mean?”
“You chose to abandon the path you were destined to travel and you’ve let your perceived failures rule you for far too long.” Andur sensed Qui-Gon was going to object and he held up his hand.
“You can’t deny it, otherwise you would have accepted Obi-Wan as your apprentice before he lost hope. You’ve allowed your anger to grow beyond reason; at the Jedi council and your self, and you’re angry at Obi-Wan.”
Qui-Gon shook his head. “No, I’m not angry at Obi-Wan; I failed him. He should hate me. I hate myself for what I did.”
“He didn’t hate you, he felt guilty for failing you.”
Qui-Gon laughed a mirthless laugh. “How can he be guilty of anything he was just a child and I pushed him far beyond his limit.”
“Yes and that’s why your angry at him, because you endeavoured to push him away, and he fought hard to change your mind. You thought he would give up and accept your ruling, but he wouldn’t. You didn’t want to hurt him, but he wouldn’t leave you alone in your self imposed misery, because he wanted to be your apprentice more than life itself.”
Qui-Gon didn’t want to admit it, but he’d sensed it and even though he didn’t know Obi-Wan that well, they had exchanged glances in the halls of the temple and Qui-Gon had always raised his shields whenever the lad had been within close proximity of him and he knew why.
The Force in its infinite wisdom was pushing them together, but at a time when Qui-Gon was still crippled with a wound from his last encounter at being a master to an impressionable young man.
Yoda knew too, and pressed hard to make him see what was in front of him, he fought the old master all the way too, and now he wondered if Yoda sent that kind- hearted and compassionate young boy to Bandomeer hoping that Qui-Gon would do the right thing and change his mind; how could Yoda do that to the boy.
“Why! - Why would Obi-Wan want me as his master? I’m not worthy to be anyone’s master.”
“Obi-Wan thought you were worthy. The force deemed you worthy. You were born with a gift, but you stopped listening and now you feel that you have no future as a Jedi.”
Qui-Gon gazed at the shimmering form and although he felt his frustration rise, he didn’t want to argue with a Spirit. “I know my limitations and I cannot continue as I am. Obi-Wan is dead because of me and he didn’t deserve to die. What does it matter what the future holds for me?”
“It matters, to the galaxy and it matters to the survival of the Jedi order.”
Qui-Gon shook his head in denial. “The Jedi order has survived for millennia’s and even if it doesn’t I will not be a part of an order who I suspect, sent Obi-Wan to Bandomeer under false pretences.”
“The blame may not be yours alone, but if you had been focused on the present instead of your past the future would be assured.”
“The past is all I have left now; Obi-Wan should have been my present and my future, but I destroyed that.”
“The past has you in its clutches Qui-Gon, you must make a choice! The past, the present and the future are all here for you to consider and understand Qui-Gon Jinn. Look and listen; seek enlightenment, and be the Jedi that you could be, otherwise all will be lost.”
Andur raised his hand and Qui-Gon felt a disturbance behind him and he turned.
A dark shadow shimmered against the wall and its darkness silently spread out across the galaxy. Coruscant came into view and sinister clouds consumed it. The Jedi temple rose strong and tall above the darkness, but Qui-Gon was shocked to see him-self channelling blue lightning through the spires of the temple destroying everything in sight.
“What is this trickery?” Qui-Gon snapped.
“The dark side is full of trickery Qui-Gon; you think you’re immune to the dark side and yet you allowed your last apprentice to allure you to its temptation and you have continued to let it rule your destiny ever since.” That vision is one possible outcome in your current state.”
“Xanatos was the one who was tempted not me! That vision is wrong; I would never destroy the temple.”
“So sure are you Qui-Gon, your emotions are out of control and even a child like Obi-Wan felt your anger long before you rejected him.”
Qui-Gon didn’t want to acknowledge it, but he knew it was true.
“Perhaps a reminder of the past will give you an insight into your future.” Andur said waving his hand.
An image of Qui-Gon, stubborn and prideful listening to lies and accusations about Obi-Wan; accused of being a thief and the image of that stricken boys face when the truth was there for him to see, but in his infinite wisdom blocked the truth from being revealed and left the boy to fend off the accusations on his own.
Qui-Gon remembered that time vividly; it was after he’d argued with the council the previous night about his mission status, and his duty. He was heading through the garden making his way out of the temple and he was still angry at them and didn’t care to find out if the boy was innocent or not. It was much later that he found out the boy was not a thief, but the damage had been done.
In another vision he was arguing with Yoda, who was saying that Obi-Wan was like a boy he once knew. Qui-Gon interrupted the old master and told him that he didn’t want to be reminded of Xanatos. Nevertheless, Yoda stated that he wasn’t speaking of that one; he was comparing the likeness of Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon.
They’d been watching a duel and Qui-Gon berated Obi-Wan and told him he was an angry young man and could easily fall to the dark side if he didn’t control his temper. He’d said those words to push the boy out of his life.
Each image of the past was more destructive than the last and he could see Obi-Wan’s self-confidence being chipped away; long before they came to Bandomeer.
Qui-Gon lowered his head because he couldn’t deny the truth any more. Those images were true. He was an angry and bitter man; he couldn’t hide it any longer and it shamed him. Andur was right, Yoda had been right and Obi-Wan had paid with his life.
“Please take me and give Obi-Wan a chance to become the Jedi he is supposed to be?” Qui-Gon’s voice almost cracked as he offered him-self instead of Obi-Wan.
“Your request will solve nothing Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan was destined to be a great Jedi; one of the last truly dedicated and selfless Jedi to survive the dark times and herald in a new beginning, but his destiny was connected to you, and through your teachings his commitment to the Jedi was unyielding and he did his duty to the end. However, your actions have changed fate and no longer can that future be assured.”
Qui-Gon shook his head in dismay. “You said that he was one of the last to survive the dark times. Who else survived?”
Qui-Gon couldn’t believe that in the span of one lifetime the Jedi order would no longer exist. “Will Yoda be able to what Obi-Wan was meant to do?”
“No, he dies in exile, unable to do anything to save the galaxy from the sith on his own.”
“When you say that Obi-Wan was destined for greatness; was he the chosen one?”
“Ah! You speak of your Jedi prophecy of the one to restore balance to the force. You thought you found him in your last apprentice, and you always believed it was your destiny to find the Jedi’s fabled one.”
“Yes, for a time I thought it was Xanatos, but I was wrong. I’ve studied the tenets of the prophecy for many years and I felt certain that I would know him when he came, but I am ashamed that I never suspected that it was Obi-Wan.” He said forlornly.
“To answer your question Qui-Gon, no, Obi-Wan is not the ‘Jedi’s’ chosen one. That myth was created by Jedi philosophers who presumed that when a Jedi turned away from the light it would alter the balance of the Force, so they created a prophecy to keep wayward Jedi dedicated to the code.
“Are you saying that there isn’t a chosen one who will bring balance to the Force?”
“Some are born to do great things in their lifetime and others are born to destroy everything in their path. Nevertheless, no matter what the future holds for the Jedi, the force will remain stable, it is the individuals that are at risk of being out of balance. The force is a constant entity and will guide those who seek enlightenment throughout their life. To bestow ultimate power in the hands of one being, could unleash a supremacy that could be manipulated by one with evil intentions and destroy said chosen one’s morality and honesty. The kindest and gentlest of hearts would be turned by destructive forces to do the bidding of corrupt men.”
“Then why was Obi-Wan so important?”
“Throughout recorded history and in each generation, there is always one Jedi who stands out above the rest. A beacon of light; admired, respected and revered Jedi masters of their time. Obi-Wan was chosen by the Force to be that beacon. To protect the future of the Jedi order, and help the galaxy fight the evil that may consume it.”
Qui-Gon felt his guilt rise. “Then why didn’t Yoda, the wisest and most powerful Jedi of his generation, teach Obi-Wan?”
“Because it was your destiny to educate Obi-Wan; you were chosen by the Force to guide him to be a wise and benevolent Jedi.”
Qui-Gon thought about everything that Andur had told him, but he couldn’t believe that only one Jedi would survive. “What evil could destroy more than ten thousand Jedi?”
“It has happened before in history Qui-Gon, and unless the Jedi learn from their mistakes and root out complacency and arrogance, combined with deceit and treachery; it can topple even the most powerful of opponents if they fail to recognise it.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“One Jedi won’t cause the darkness to come, but each Jedi will have a part to play in allowing the evil to envelope the galaxy and if you continue on the path of self destruction, that future will be darker than you could imagine. You have to find the peace that has eluded you and regain harmony in your life. You are knowledgeable, Qui-Gon and you advocate ‘to live in the moment; you must open yourself to all aspects of the Force and take your own advice and nurture with an open heart. Reflect on everything I’ve told you, if you want to prevent the annihilation of all Force sensitives in the galaxy.”
Qui-Gon sensed a shift in the Force and Andur began to glow and fade back into the crystals. The luminous light was so bright that Qui-Gon had to close his eyes. He’d already accepted Andur’s words and he allowed the Force access into his body to purge the negative feelings he’d been harbouring.
He knelt in a meditative position and drew the force around him. It was comforting and he felt its healing energy fill him with a new hope.
He wasn’t certain how long he’d remained in that position, but he couldn’t sense the luminous presence that was Andur any more. However, the force felt stronger and brighter in him than it had for years; it felt invigorating.
Another sense was working as well; his sense of smell told him that he was in a familiar place and the aroma being drawn in through his nostrils was the distinct smell of his favourite Caff and behind closed eyelids he felt the sun warming his face.
He opened his eyes and had to squint away from the bright sun light. He was facing a window and confusion filled him once again as he glanced around and to his bewilderment he was kneeling on the floor in his quarters at the temple.
“Andur?” he glanced from side to side. “How did I get here?” He rose to his feet and disorientation made him sway and he grasped the back of the couch to balance him self.
Silence was his only answer and his heart pounded loudly in his chest accentuated by the quiet of his surroundings. He didn’t understand how he could be back on Coruscant when just a few moments ago he was on Bandomeer. It was impossible for him to be in his quarters.
Brilliant conversation/dialogue and wow! Does that mean all that hasn't happened yet and is to do over and differently Or did any of it happen?
Wow from supreme anger to place switching! What an update! What a conversation!
What a conversation and lesson for Qui-Gon. Excellent update
Ah ha! we have a time traveler here... how interesting
Ooo... a jedi apprentice era fic. I loved the series and am always looking for ways to recapture the moment.
I'm enjoying this story immensely. You really capture the emotions of the characters well. You also had a few good twists, which I appreciated. Can't wait to see how Jinn responds to his guilt long term.
Very interesting vision....loved your take on the so called "Chosen One"...so in a sense Obi-Wan is the force's (not the Jedi) chosen one....the one in every generation.
It appears by the last paragraph that the whole Obi dying bit was a part of an elaborate vision Qui-Gon was having to show him the consequences of his stubborness?
Can't wait for an update...and I loved all the guesses by everyone after Obi "died"....
No more Daleks..right? (Was that on purpose or a coincidence...since you don't watch Dr. Who?)