Beyond A Father's Heart (J/J, Soontir Fel)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by EmpressJainaSoloFel, Jun 17, 2009.

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  1. jaina-Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2008
    star 1
    Oh gosh, I was almost in tears reading this. First Amelia, then Jag's proposal, and finally Soontir contemplating all those who were missing. That last part really got me.

    A wonderful, emotional update. I am looking forward to more.
  2. TheSwordJainaSoloFel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2008
    star 1
    I loved Amelia! She had me in stitches.?And you?d best say yes Jaina, I want a brother.? [face_laugh] I can just see this whole scene play out. At this point, Amelia might be more frightful than Han's blaster.

    ?You?d better be extra nice to her. Papa Han knows where carbonite is and he isn?t afraid to use it.?
    [face_laugh] She's definitely got some of Jaina's spunk!:p

    And just when I thought I couldn't be laughing any harder, you put this line in there:
    After watching Leia Organa Solo plan a formal state wedding over dinner, Soontir was in no doubt about why the Rebels won the war.
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Ha! The Imps never stood a chance!:p

    ?You?re right, that is perfect. I?m glad Mara got it for you, she would have loved to see you wear it at your wedding.?
    Brilliant job of incorporating Mara into the wedding. Mara was always (in my eyes at least) more than just an aunt and master/mentor to Jaina, she was a best friend and surrogate mother. I thought Mara would have seen Jaina as the closest thing to a daughter she would ever have and would have had a very special bond b/c of that reason with Jaina. I'm so glad you put this part in here, Jaina's wedding just wouldn't be the same without a touch of Mara Jade.:)

    What sweet reflections from Soontir, as a man whose endured love's trials and come through everything with Syal stronger and better for it. So very sweet and touching.:)

    Nice update. I truly enjoy it when a story causes reactions for me and does more than just still on the page, and this update has certainly done that.[face_dancing][:D]



  3. oldjedinurse Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2003
    star 4
    I read this chapter through twice. Wonderful!

    Loved Amelia with Jag. Jag with Jaina. Soontir's thoughts as he watched everything unfold. Shawnkyr's shock. Wynn's excitement. Syal's tender heart. Leia's understanding. Well, you get the picture. I loved it all.

    The two best parts:

    Amelia, the typical child, straightforward and expecting good answers to her questions. It was great to see her portrayed with the regal air of true royalty. Very appropriate. Her comment about the carbonite was hilarious! [face_laugh] I'll bet "Papa Han" was proud at that moment. (Plus, I love her obviously affectionate relationship with Jag.)

    Mara, absent from the family but always present in their hearts. What a fabulous way for Jaina to include her beloved Aunt in the wedding. I could imagine how Luke and Ben felt about that.

    You're doing a fantastic job with this story, EmpressJSF! Soontir's POV is perfect for it.

    =D==D=


    EDIT: Okay--I came back and read it a third time (probably won't be the last).

    Your writing here is a wonderful example of show-not-tell. Every time I read this chapter, new images appear in my mind and I see ways in which these scenes might unfold: Amelia's very serious ring inspection; Jaina's shock followed by tears; J/J lost in their own world for a few moments; Leia glaring at Han over the carbonite comment--and Han's "Who me?" shrugged response (causing more laughter). What I'm getting at is that this story is so real it's easy to expand your words into a movie in the mind's eye. I really appreciate writing that stimulates my imagination in that way. Thank you for this!

    oldj
  4. Jainasolo101 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 2
    Please add my to your PM list. I love this fanfic.
  5. JFEL13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 4, 2009
    star 1
    Ch. 5 Yay!!! You're great. This was precious. I like the proposal, didn't really see it coming in that way as of Ch. 4. Romantic, for sure!!!

    "Do you think this is good enough for her?"=P~

    ..."his face btraying no hint of anxiety or anticipation." so Jag.

    "When had Jag grown to be so good with children?" Jedi Praxeum, of course.

    Han and his carbonite....We all know Jag is up to the challenge, though. It's Jaina we should worry about. [face_whistling]

    Someone is putting those Palleon Gardens to use....I try to make mine measure up, but in a high desert it's quite difficult!

    LOVE how she found the dress, incorporating Mara, fabulous detail, as always.

    By far my favorite line:"After watching Leia Organa Solo plan a formal state wedding over dinner, Soontir was in no doubt about why the Rebels won the war."

    You brought up all the siblings missing out on the fanfare. As touching and plot-moving the deaths were, I'd have stood for a few more years of getting to know the siblings with rivalry, jest and all. I thought canon cheated us. Yet, you can't argue how dramatic it all was.

    Overall, great post. Touching. Looking forward to next week.:)
  6. carr3107 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2008
    star 3
    Slacker beta chiming in very late here.

    This is a transition scene, and those are hard to write. You've woven together a lot of elements (Amelia, the dress, the mothers) to make a scene that I can literally visualize.

    Well done.
  7. Kailene Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2009
    star 3
    I had to quote oldj, she said it so well. I too have read this through two or three times now and every time can picture the scene unfolding in my mind. Every time through I pick up something subtle that I missed the time before and new images play in my mind.

    This is such a tender and heartfelt story.

    The proposal came as a surprise, didn't think it would happen so soon, but we do have Amelia to thank for that, typical child. Loved Amelia and her exchange with Jag, so cute and sweet.

    I loved how you included Mara, she was so important in Jaina's life, not only as a Master, but also as a beloved Aunt, friend and confidant.

    Can't wait to see where you bring this story next.
  8. oldjedinurse Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2003
    star 4
    F
    RI
    END
    LYBU
    MPUPB
    ECAUSE
    IAMHOPI
    NGFORANE
    WCHAPTERV
    ERYVERYSOO
    N
    E
    M
    P
    R
    E
    S
    S
    !

    I've read this through five times now (just like Bolis Island :p) and thought I'd let you know how much I'm anticipating what comes next!

    No pressure, of course. O:)
  9. EmpressJainaSoloFel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2009
    star 2
    I'll have some author replies up soon, and the post in the next couple days. Work is kinda hectic right now, and 501st is keeping me busy :-D
  10. oldjedinurse Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2003
    star 4
    DRL. Understood.

    [face_whistling]

    Post soon... YAY!! [face_dancing]
  11. Master_Jaina1011 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    So I Have been horrible at looking and not replying... But I have to reply to this one. I cannot help but go back and reread that last chapter of the proposal. It was just so well written. I loved Allana and Jag. It was too cute. I just loved it all together. Anyways can't wait for more.

    Master_Jaina1011
  12. EmpressJainaSoloFel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2009
    star 2
    Just a quick note: I will NOT be sending new pm's to those who have not read previous pm's. I don't want to clutter anyone's inbox with unread messages.

    jaina-Fett: Thank you so much! The last part was rewritten at least five times, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

    TheSwordJainaSoloFel: Amelia was so much fun, as much as she's royalty, I can see her having a bit of a Solo rebellious streak as well. And all credit for the Leia line goes to my wonderful beta. I wanted to include Mara somehow, seeing as how she's been such an important figure in Jaina's life. But since Jaina's not the "showy" kind, it needed to be something that only close friends and family would understand the significance of. I'm glad that this update was able to jump off the page.

    oldjedinurse: I'm so glad that you've been able to reread this so many times without getting bored! And thanks for the bump. I see Amelia's character as being a very major player in galactic politics eventually, and having a close relationship with an Imperial will be a way to eventually bridge the gap that opened during LotF. While this story won't be going that far out, it does lay the foundation for some spin-offs I've been contemplating. Also, she's young enough to have her fun, but also empathetic enough that she knows what will make the people around her happy. For her, fun equates to making people happy. I really wanted a chance to bring out some of the best of Jacen before he went all sithly. It's really wonderful as well to know that this story comes alive for you.

    Jainasolo101: You're added! Thanks for reading :-D

    JFEl13: In all fairness, I didn't see it coming either. This chapter was just not working for me, so on a whim I tried bringing Amelia into it, and she sort of forced some issues. Darn characters, just have to do everything their own way. I've always been captivated by the idea of the Pellaeon Gardens in profic, and just couldn't resist bringing them into my fic. As far as Soontir, I don't think he'll ever truly be able to enjoy a happy moment without wondering how it could have been. Thanks!

    Carr: You're not a slacker, just busy. And your idea for the Leia line was a hit! Thanks!

    Kailene: I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. Amelia turned out to be a ton of fun, she's so inquisitive and perceptive. And I'm also glad to know that you're getting something new each time, it's one of the best compliments I think I could ever have!

    Master_Jaina1011: Thanks for delurking! Jag and Allana are so much fun to write together, because she's not like Jaina in that she's not content to leave his shields alone in public.
  13. EmpressJainaSoloFel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2009
    star 2
    Sadly, I have to run to work, so I don't have time to get pm's out. I will get them out tonight, but I wanted to get this posted.

    Chapter 6
    The evening had gone remarkably well, Soontir mused. He and Han had gotten along; even sharing a chuckle over the interested glances Wynn was shooting in Valin?s direction. The kid wasn?t a bad sort at all, soft-spoken and well-mannered, he was quick in offering his arm to escort Wynn to dinner and seating her, and he didn?t hesitate in responding to her tentative flirtations. He shared the keen intelligence Soontir saw in Hal Horn all those years ago on Corellia, and proved himself capable of holding knowledgeable discussion on a wide array of topics. No, he decided, Wynn could have set her sights on someone much worse.

    The ladies had retired to bed; Jag ?escorting? Jaina, and Valin had claimed the need for meditation, after which Luke and Ben left to tend to some vague Jedi business, leaving the rest of the men in the lounge. Han was shuffling the sabacc deck while Wedge liberated a bottle of Whyren?s from the liquor cabinet when the whole evening started going downhill. As Wedge handed a glass of Whyren?s to Corran, the Jedi Master shot from his seat, lightsaber in hand. ?Wedge, get Iella and your girls. We need to leave, now.? Although Corran?s voice betrayed nothing but commanding calm, Soontir knew something was about to happen. Jedi didn?t go to full battle-readiness over something insignificant.

    No sooner had Corran finished speaking than Jysella, clad in only a sports bra and workout pants, tore into the room, lightsaber already ignited with Valin and Wynn hot on her heels. As Corran?s lightsaber sprang to life, Jaina entered the room, violet blade held aloft. It was clear that she had been in the process of changing for the night and not gotten very far, her chocolate hair tumbled in loose curls down her back and the elegant satin gown that she had worn at dinner was missing. Instead, she was clad in only the matching cream silk underskirt and corset she had worn beneath the gown. Jag, behind her, blaster drawn and bare-chested, was clearly not minding the show despite the danger. Syal scooted over to her husband?s side, looking clearly confused. Unlike Jaina, she had elected to throw a dressing gown on over her underclothing. If Soontir hadn?t been so worried about what the Jedi were sensing, the whole scene might have been comical.

    In the space of a heartbeat, the scene had gone from silent near-comedy to deafening battle. The viewport exploded, spraying transparisteel shards in all directions. The shards glittered in the light from the sabers before seemingly hitting an invisible wall and flying toward the other direction. Soontir?s confusion lasted only a moment as he noted Jaina?s outstretched hand, directing the shards away from the small gathering. Suddenly she was flying over their heads, flipping gracefully before landing in front of the hall that led to the bedrooms.

    ?Su?cuy gar, Bob?ika. Tion?ad hukaat?kama?? Soontir couldn?t see who Jaina was speaking to, nor did he recognize the language that she seemed to speak with little difficulty. He heard blaster fire being redirected by the three lightsabers now on his left, but he had eyes only for the scene in front of him. Jaina, brown hair whipping around her lithe form, standing with lightsaber at the ready, smiling as a green-armored Mandalorian stepped into the room, blaster pointed straight at her. Suddenly, Soontir felt like he had been standing outside in a Csillan blizzard with no protection. He hadn?t seen Boba Fett before, but he?d heard stories, and suddenly he knew that he may not be leaving the room alive. Never before in his life, including in his career flying the shieldless TIE fighter, had he felt so vulnerable. Rumor had it there was only one target Fett had ever missed, and now, facing Fett himself, Soontir?s respect for Han increased dramatically.

    ?I told you, Jedi, I may be Mand?alor, but I don?t speak the language!? Fett?s voice was grating, full
  14. oldjedinurse Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2003
    star 4
    FIRST!

    Return of the Sword indeed!!! [face_laugh][face_dancing]

    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh] OMG!! The Fel sibs are hilarious. (As is their father worrying about how to jam his wife's shoe collection into their bags.)

    What a great scene this is. It was alarming, exciting, funny, powerful, sexy, and a harbinger of the future. The old guard has changed... Jag is in charge, with the Sword at his side. Tough combination to defeat, even for Boba and his Mandos. (And, yes, Boba, she was your best student!)

    Jaina certainly gave her soon-to-be father-in-law a few things to think about.

    I loved that Soontir was a bit off-guard about Boba's target(s) for assassination. Did I read that right? He thought he was dead, but what of his son? Or Wedge, the new leader of the Imperial fleet? Boba could have been there for any of them. Or he could have been testing Jaina...

    As for the passionate kiss... [face_love] Go Jag!!

    My only complaint? I want more! You've really captured my imagination. (And although I want more, I appreciate that your posts are relatively short--easier for me to take in. [:D] )

    Bored? How could I be bored? You've analyzed your characters, what you want of them, and where you want them to go, so they really come alive. Your descriptions stimulate plenty of visual images. Every chapter brings an unexpected turn of events. You are finding nice balance between levity and serious business.

    Boredom is not possible here. =D=


  15. Rogue11JSF Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2009
    star 1
    YEY! I LOVE THIS STORY!
  16. Kailene Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2009
    star 3
    =D= [face_love] =D= [face_love]

    The Sword has indeed returned, and is better than before. Soontir is right, with Jag by her side, they make an unbeatable, dynamic team.

    Who were the Mando's actually after, from the dialogue, I think Soontir thought he was the target. But it could have been Jag or even a test to find out kind of condition Jaina was in. Either way, the Mando's found out just how hard it's going to be to stop them.


  17. Jainasolo101 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 2
  18. Chimpo_the_Sith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 15, 2003
    star 5
    Wow! Fantastic job so far :D

  19. TheSwordJainaSoloFel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2008
    star 1
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh][face_laugh] [face_laugh] Love the comic relief with Wynn and Cem!
    The battle scene was great- very vivid, full of energy. It just comes to life. =D=
    You've really captured the dynamic relationship between Jag and Jaina- lovers, friends, comrade in arms. Perfect example Jaina knew to stall for Jag to call for backup and Jag knew she would do it. No thinking, just acting.
    You capture a great deal of emotions, thoughts, and actions in so few words- I'm amazed.=D=
    And bare chest, sweating Jag?:eek: What an image!=P~ [face_love] Warn me next time and I'll have a bucket ready for drool. :p[face_laugh]

  20. miranda82 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 16, 2004
    star 2
    Really enjoying the story. :)
  21. Master_Jaina1011 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    *hits hand*

    Bad me. I so meant to review earlier.

    Anyways...only Jaina could fight like she does and not mess up a single hair on her head. *shakes head* Wish I had that hair... lol

    Secondly, a shirtless Jag. Sheesh... my imagination runs wild.

    And I love Soontir's reaction to Jaina fighting. He gets to see the real her now.

    Can't help but say I love it and cannot wait for more!
  22. carr3107 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2008
    star 3
    I'm loving the return of ActionJaina. I like the way you showed Soontir realizing that Jag was the head of an interstellar government and also finally "getting" Jaina. The mystery about who the target of the assisination attempt adds depth.

    And shirtless Jag ;)

    As always, I'm having such fun with this.
  23. JFEL13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 4, 2009
    star 1
    Jag's shiny chest!!! *Drooling, extremely happy!*

    I love this post. Strong, fighty, Jaina is my favorite side of her, and the fact Jag likes that about her too. Reminds me of Buffy. I've always liked the tiny but strong, physically and mentally, female character. Jaina's better than Buffy, though, especially your Jaina.

    I liked how Soontir seemed to feel humbled watching Jaina and Jag.

    I thought the Mandalorians were after Jaina, at first. But, now I'm not sure.

    Excited to see what happens. Fun story!

  24. jaina-Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2008
    star 1
    Yes Wyn, life is definitely not fair. Not only does she look gorgeous while kicking butt, but she gets the guy too. :p :p

    That was a fun update, I wonder how long Fett is going to stay in custody. :D
  25. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Great fic!

    Love how you've approached this from Soontir Fell's p.o.v

    Please add me to the PM list.

    EG
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