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"A Figment of the Imagination" - JA fanfic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by jedi_master_gimpy, Apr 15, 2000.

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  1. jedi_master_gimpy

    jedi_master_gimpy Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 12, 2000
    Okay, everyone!! This is my first attempt at JA fanfic, so please, be nice!! As always, expect plenty of Obi-Torture as well as a few major plot twists...nothing is as it seems! I appreciate any comments

    A Figment of the Imagination

    Obi-Wan Kenobi ran pell-mell down the dark streets of Murel. He heard shouts behind him and risked a glance as five men tumbled around the corner in pursuit. Obi-Wan heard the whine of a blaster and a blue bolt shot past a foot from his head.

    //Holy Lightsabers! That was close.// The lanky sixteen year-old forced his body to run faster. He screeched around another corner and his padawan braid whipped around to hit him in the face.

    Obi-Wan impatiently pushed it out of his way and kept running. The sounds of pursuit suddenly stopped, blanketing him in silence except for the sound of his own quiet running and haggard breathing. Had they given up?

    Then came a more ominious sound: the soft growl of airspeeder engines. He wouldn't be able to outrun them. Obi-Wan glanced around for a place to hide in the maze of wherehouses in this district of the city. Nowhere. All the building were locked tight and boarded up.

    Two airspeeders zoomed around the corner. "Look! There he is!" a male voice shouted.

    Obi-Wan felt a warning tingle at the back of his neck and dodged to the right as another blue bolt flashed through the space he had occupied seconds before.

    Obi-Wan frowned. He had led the men away from Qui-Gon and the Ambassador's hiding place and they should be safe now. Obi-Wan obviously wasn't going to be handed an escape on a silver platter and there was no way to outrun an airspeeder. He came to a quick decision and whirled around to face them, lightsaber ignited.

    Presented with a much easier target, several men began firing. Laser bolts shot past in the blue color of a stun beam. They wanted to capture, not kill.

    Obi-Wan deflected bolt after bolt, sending them back along the path they had been fired on. Several men fell to their own shots.

    The landspeeders split, one coming at Obi-Wan from each direction. He wouldn't be able to cover both at once. Obi-Wan waited until the speeders were almost abreast of him and then gathered the Force around him to jump over the blaster bolts and into the rightmost speeder.

    It took the men a second to realize where the young Jedi had gone. The man in the passenger seat whirled around and Obi-Wan slashed down with his saber, cutting his blaster barrel in two before he had a chance to shoot.

    Obi-Wan then turned to scythe the blaster of the man in the seat behind him as the driver of the airspeeder began to swerve back and forth.

    Obi-Wan was thrown onto his knees on the seat and couldn't get his lightsaber up in time to block the blue bolt from the other speeder. It hit the young man in the side and knocked him onto his back on the seat. His lightsaber clattered over the side and onto the rough pavement below as it fell from his limp grasp. //Master!//

    Obi-Wan pulled in the Force in an attempt to override his temporarily frayed nerves and allow him to move. He reared up and teetered towards the edge of the slowing speeder as another stun beam lanced out and struck him in the shoulder.

    Obi-Wan fell back into the speeder's seat and the whirling darkness.

    [This message has been edited by jedi_master_gimpy (edited 04-18-2000).]
  2. snowbee-wan kenobi

    snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 28, 2000
    Cool. Keep going. You officially have my attention.
  3. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    You have also got my attention

    Please keep going, just don't toture US with long delays in posts
  4. jedi_master_gimpy

    jedi_master_gimpy Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 12, 2000
    Hey! Wow! Two readers!! Hello, all! I appreciate you reading my story! Here's another post, it's kinda small. Sorry. Hopefully it will dig a few more readers up.

    Pain. Tender nerves shouted in protest when he stirred. ?Unngh.? He pulled in the Force to damper the pain but there was only an empty void where the Force should be, as if it didn?t exist in this place.

    Sapphire blue eyes blinked open and Obi-Wan sat up. His first instinct was to reach for the place on his belt where his lightsaber was supposed to be. It was gone. He had lost it in the fight.

    Obi-Wan surveyed his small cell. He was sitting on an old cot in a small, extremely cold room. Obi-Wan pulled his Jedi robe tighter around him, glad they had at least left him that. There was no obvious windows or openings besides a smooth metal door, although Obi-Wan didn?t doubt that there were hidden cameras or one-way mirrors allowing his captors to see him.

    Obi-Wan scooted back against the wall and hugged his knees. He knew Qui-Gon would tear the planet apart looking for him. His Master would find him eventually. Obi-Wan just didn?t want to think about what could happen before he did.

    [This message has been edited by jedi_master_gimpy (edited 04-18-2000).]
  5. Kid Jedi

    Kid Jedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Apr 2, 2000
    I like it, I like more soon...
  6. Fallon

    Fallon Jedi Youngling star 1

    Mar 31, 2000
    You've got a good story going here so far! Keep up the good work!

  7. HealerLeona

    HealerLeona Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 18, 2000
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>He knew Qui-Gon would tear the planet apart looking for him. His Master would find him eventually. Obi-Wan just didn't want to think about what could happen before he did.
    Sounds like you've got a great handle on JA fanfic and you're already heavy into action and knocking Obi-Wan unconscious (one of the many ways we like him).
    Great start jedi_master_gimpy
    Post often, post soon.

    [This message has been edited by HealerLeona (edited 04-16-2000).]
  8. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Jan 12, 2000
    Great start! Now on with the Obi-Torture!
  9. Obi-wan's Padawan

    Obi-wan's Padawan Jedi Youngling star 1

    Apr 11, 2000
    Very Interesting so far. I can't wait to see what happens to Obi-Wan this time.
  10. jedi_master_gimpy

    jedi_master_gimpy Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 12, 2000
    Wow!! Thanks, you guys!! I feel special, the well-known Jane Jinn and HealerLeona are reading my story! Here's some more for ya

    One week earlier

    Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn walked down the cool halls of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, his long strides eating up the corridor. Padawan Apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi walked a few respectful steps behind, trying to keep up with the taller Jedi without making it look like he was having trouble. The two Jedi stopped in front of the large doors that led to the Council chamber, Obi-Wan with more than a little apprehension.

    Qui-Gon turned to his nervous padawan, concern in his deep blue eyes. ?Padawan, there is no need to be worried. The Council is just informing us of our new mission.?

    ?I know, Master.? The young man subconsciously brushed a hand through his ginger-brown hair. ?It?s just that I haven?t been in front of the Council that much and, well, they are sort of intimidating, Master.?

    Qui-Gon hid a smile. He wouldn?t for the galaxy tell Obi-Wan how scared to death of the Council he?d been at that age. Just then a small girl approached them, her brown eyes wide as she took in one of the more well-known and liked Master-Padawan pairs of the Temple. ?The Council will see you now,? she squeaked, and then scurried off.

    The massive doors to the Council chamber creaked open, pushed by the invisible hands of the Force. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan walked to the center of the circle and bowed to the arrayed Jedi Masters.

    ?Have a new mission you do.? Master Yoda spoke first.

    ?The planet Titus III has just entered into civil war,? Mace Windu said, steepling his long fingers. ?The planet has long been shared between the Tituns and the Rindans. The Tituns are humans and control about three fourths of the planet. The Rindans are avians that live isolated on the other fourth of the planet.?

    ?Skilled artisans the Rindans are,? Yoda added. ?Very rare and expensive their artwork is.?

    ?The Rindans keep mostly to themselves and prefer to share their artwork among their own villages instead of selling it,? Mace Windu continued. ?A Titun revolutionary leader by the name of Trin Morc has been stirring up trouble. He wants control of Titus III and has decided that the way to gain power is by gaining the support of the Tituns. Many Tituns dislike the Rindans and think that selling their artwork off-planet will bring Titus III a lot of prestige and money. Trin Morc has taken over and enslaved the Rindans.?

    ?Many followers has he,? Yoda confirmed. ?Forced King Pankei into hiding they have. Much fighting there is. Find and protect him you must. Help his ambassador come to Coruscant you will. Please their case before the Senate they must.?

    Qui-Gon nodded thoughtfully. ?There must be strong resentment between the Tituns and Rindans.?

    ?There is,? Ki-Adi Mundi spoke up. ?There are many differences between their cultures and they see each other as threats.?

    ?Tomorrow afternoon a shuttle will take you to Titus III,? Mace Windu stated firmly.

    ?May the Force be with you, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi,? Master Yoda said gravely.

    ?And with you, Masters.? Qui-Gon bowed and then gracefully exited the chambers. ?Come along, Obi-Wan,? he admonished as the teenager turned to gawk in the corridor as the Jedi Council used the Force to close the massive doors once more.

    Obi-Wan quickly glanced up, worried. Have I done something wrong again? ?I?m sorry, Master. I won?t do it aga-?

    ?It?s quite all right, Padawan,? Qui-Gon said with a twinkle in his eye, recalling a similar even from his own past. ?I believe we have time for a sparring lesson before we need to pack.?

    Obi-Wan groaned.

    I had to get a little background on the mission into the story. There will be one more post with Obi-Wan remembering what happened, and then....on with the torture!!
  11. Katri Tai

    Katri Tai Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 26, 2000
    (waiting patiently staring at computer screen for next post...)
  12. Knight Obi Wan

    Knight Obi Wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Dec 17, 1999
    My apologies for being so late in finding this thread. You DEFINATELY have my attention. HealerLeona is right, a cold, stunned Obi-Wan is always a good thing
  13. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 30, 1999
    Oooh, I like this story! I'm really glad I decided to check it out. Now I eagerly await more.
  14. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    Good set up!!! You must have a good story to go along with the torture and this has the looks of a really great one!! IMHO a well defind enemy a good thing. I like to know the who and the why behind the harsh treatment of my favorite Jedi.

    Keep those posts a comin!
  15. jedi_master_gimpy

    jedi_master_gimpy Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 12, 2000
    Wow, thanks you guys!! Once again, I am utterly surprised by the number of readers I have!! *sniff* thanks!! And thank you, Kelly Kenobi, I'm hoping this post will help clear up the situation even more!

    Two days later the two Jedi walked down the boarding ramp of their shuttle into the somewhat busy spaceport in Murel, the capital city of Titus III. Obi-Wan tugged at the collar of his rather tight blue jumpsuit. ?Master, was it really necessary to wear these?? he complained. His loose-fitting Jedi tunic and pants were much more comfortable.

    Qui-Gon turned and patiently explained, ?King Pankei said it would be better for us to blend in more, Obi-Wan. The revolutionaries intercepted his message and are keeping an eye out for any Jedi.?

    Obi-Wan shrugged. ?Well, I guess being uncomfortable is better than being captured and killed.?

    Qui-Gon shook his head in amusement. ?Your optimism is very encouraging.?

    Obi-Wan tugged on his Padawan braid and grinned boyishly. ?I try.?

    The Jedi surveyed the spaceport. It was busy with the regular flow of spacers, traders and tourists but the atmosphere had a tense feeling to it. A few soldiers in the deep purple of the revolutionaries were carrying blasters as they patrolled the crowds.

    ?Isn?t someone supposed to meet us here, Master?? Obi-Wan asked quietly.

    ?I believe that would be them,? Qui-Gon replied as a figure in a green cloak with the hood pulled up glided towards them.

    The figure stopped a few paces from them. ?Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn?? a deep, masculine voice asked.

    Qui-Gon nodded. ?This is my Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You must be Senator Arnokel.?

    The man nodded. ?Follow me.? He led them out into the city itself. Murel had fair amount of business going on but seemed a tad empty for a capital city. Soldiers walked in many of the streets, suspiciously eyeing people and often harassing them. ?Trin Morc likes people to think he has more followers than he does, ? Senator Arnokel explained. ?He keeps most of the populace under control by fear. Most of the city is controlled by him and his thugs.?

    A sudden yell caused the group to look up. Across the street a soldier was beating a young boy about Obi-Wan?s age. ?Watch where yer going, boy!? the soldier said angrily as a few of his companions stood watching.

    Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon tense beside him. Senator Arnokel turned to them, a look of sadness on his face. ?It is hard to stand by and watch, but we must. Right now it is more important to remain anonymous and keep the King and his ambassador safe.?

    Qui-Gon nodded, his face a cold mask. Obi-Wan bowed his head at the boy?s pain, and quickly sent a wave of Force in the young man?s direction to give him strength and ease his pain. Qui-Gon turned to look at him and smiled approvingly.

    The trio continued down street after street into a poorer section of town. The Senator led them to a small hotel. As they walked down a poorly lit hall the Senator removed his hood to reveal dignified features and graying brown hair. He smiled kindly, ?I have to wear a hood in public, lest the revolutionaries, or the ?Freedons?, as they call themselves, recognize me. I?m afraid I?m rather well-known in Murel.?

    The Senator knocked on a door on the first floor, and muttered something to some unseen person. The door slowly opened and the Jedi were ushered in.

    King Pankei was a middle-aged man with auburn hair and surprisingly intelligent and engaging green eyes. ?Thank you for coming, Master Qui-Gon.?

    Qui-Gon bowed serenely. ?What has happened since you contacted the Council??

    ?Trin Morc has taken over most of Murel. He keeps the people in line through fear. Morc has started making examples of people who displease him,? King Pankei said with disgust. ?He takes them out in public squares and tortures them.?

    The king motioned forward one of the senators and advisors that were in hiding with him. ?This is my advisor Ni?chu Rambon. He is the ambassador you will be escorting t
  16. jedi_master_gimpy

    jedi_master_gimpy Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 12, 2000
    Oh, btw feel free to check out my other story, "A Jedi's Redemption" It's not JA, but I'd like to think it's semi-interesting. Some Massassi have in fact survived and are being reawakened from sleeping chambers and controlled by a Sith lord (Emperor Palpy's younger brother, to be exact) in taking over the galaxy. Here's the link: Forum16/HTML/000090.html Forum16/HTML/000090.html

    Also, I have another idea for a JA fanfic whirling around in my head. I've read the books, but I don't have them so I was wondering if someone could tell me how old Obi-Dear is in "Captive Temple". Thanks!
  17. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Jan 12, 2000
    Wow, another great post! I like the way Obi-Wan feels uncomfortable in that tight blue jumpsuit, and the way Qui-Gon approves of him trying to comfort the boy who is being beaten. I also hope I've spotted a clue to the upcoming Obi-Torture--"...he takes them out in public squares and tortures them..."

    Now I'm really looking forward to more!
  18. light_sabe_r

    light_sabe_r Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Feb 11, 2000
    So sorry, am I that find this earlier I did not.

    I love it.

    Now, on with the Obi-Torture!

  19. Maelisaandii

    Maelisaandii Jedi Youngling star 2

    Feb 3, 2000
    Here I am! The party can begin! As soon, however, as my brother stops playing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by William Shatner. eek.gif Anyways, another great story, Master Gimpy, Ma'am. I'm very impressed.
  20. jedi_master_gimpy

    jedi_master_gimpy Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 12, 2000
    Methinks Jane Jinn caught onto something there, but that's a tad bit later on the story. I'm glad you could join the club, light_sabe_r and Maelisaandi! (LOL the Ma'am! ) Back to Obi-Wan's sticky situation!

    Apparently the Freedons had been alerted to who the Jedi were and what they looked like. A few nights later, once again comfortably attired in their Jedi robes, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were just returning to the hotel when their path intercepted that of a group of Freedons.

    ?Hey, ain?t that the boy-Jedi?? called one. ?Seize ?im!? The drunken soldiers didn?t even notice Qui-Gon in the shadows.

    It was obvious to the Jedi what they had to do. With soldiers loitering outside the king?s hiding place, one of them needed to be there to protect him in case the Freedons suspected anything. Obi-Wan, who had no choice of remaining anonymous anymore anyway, was the one who got to lead the soldiers on a wild goose chase away from King Pankei?s safe house.

    And look where it had gotten him, Obi-Wan thought ruefully. Him and his optimism were stuck in a prison cell now. The young Jedi tried to scrunch down further in the confines of his brown Jedi robe. Force, the room was cold! He wished he could meditate and get his mind of his present location, but even that had been denied to him.

    The door to his cell burst open, and a burly man in a familiar purple uniform yanked Obi-Wan to his feet. ?The boss wants to have a word with you,? he growled. He snapped force-cuffs on the teenager?s wrists and pushed him roughly down the hall to a turbolift.

    The ride up was quiet. Obi-Wan?s captor stared menacingly at him the whole way. For his part, Obi-Wan stared serenely back, not allowing the man to intimidate him. At the top the soldier pushed Obi-Wan cruelly out with a curse, but Obi-Wan couldn?t help but feel a slight victory.

    He was led to an office right across the hall from the lift. Obi-Wan had barely stepped inside the door when a hard push sent him tumbling to the ground. With his wrists bound Obi-Wan couldn?t catch himself and had the chance to experience a mouthful of carpet.

    The Padawan slowly pushed himself up, biting back a groan. He was in an elegant and rather extravagant office. Large windows lined the far wall, showing an impressive view of the city. Behind a massive desk sat a handsome, muscular man with blond hair and stormy gray eyes. He stood with a smile and motioned to a deep chair in front of his desk. ?Won?t you have a seat, Obi-Wan Kenobi??

    Obi-Wan eyed the chair and then took a quick peek at the door. Two guards glowering on either side convinced him that this wasn?t the time to try to make an escape. He could feel the Force distantly, as if far away, but wasn?t able to touch it. Obi-Wan mutely sat down.

    ?You?re probably wondering how I know your name.? The blond man continued easily. Actually, Obi-Wan was rather curious. The man shrugged, ?It was simple. King Pankei?s messages didn?t exactly have the tightest security. I also know your Master Qui-Gon Jinn will be aside himself with worry. Although I doubt he?ll find you through your precious Force.?

    ?Trin Morc,? the man introduced himself. ?I?m sure you?ve discovered your little problem in that department.? Morc held up a hypodermic needle. ?There?s a nifty little drug I have that can keep a person from accessing the Force. In fact, I believe you?re in need of another dose right about now. Guards!? he motioned them forward. ?Hold him.?

    Obi-Wan squirmed against the guards, but they held him down firmly while Morc injected the needle?s contents into his arm. Immediately the Force seemed to vanish from sight and touch again, becoming a distant memory.

    Morc waved the guards back to their posts. ?Tell me, Jedi. Does it feel strange to be deprived of something you?ve lived with all your life? To come down to everyone else?s level? Morc bent down until his face was only a foot away from Obi-Wan?s and grabbed his chin, turning the teenager?s head to the side as if examining a
  21. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jan 13, 2000
    Ohhh. Poor Obi, I have a bad feeling about what is about to happen to him.
  22. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    Great post

    Don't it just make you feel evil when you get so excited about such a sweet boy getting the poodoo beat out of him. The mush of recovery is just soooooo sweet, ain't it!!
  23. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Jan 12, 2000
    Trin Morc is going to have to do an awful lot to Obi-Wan to get him to break down. Are you listening, Jedi Master Gimpy? I said, Trin Morc is going to have to do AN AWFUL LOT to Obi-Wan to get him to break down. Morc could take his warm brown robe away and let him freeze, for starters...

  24. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    Yeah, I'm with Jane on that one. Take his robe off for starters, AND THEN...

    TRIN MORC: I've been thinking about the best way to torture you, young Kenobi. See that grassy knoll over in the distance?
    OBI-WAN: (gulps) Yes.
    TRIN MORC: You have fifteen seconds to reach it, or else I UNLEASH THE HEALERS...Wait a minute, come back! I haven't said start yet!
  25. jedi_master_gimpy

    jedi_master_gimpy Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 12, 2000
    Heheh, LOL your comments crack me up, Jane Jinn and Jemmiah!! Those were hilarious! Yep Jane, I'm sure Trin Morc WILL have to do AN AWFUL LOT to Obi-Wan!! Here's a short post for Qui-Gon

    * * *
    * *
    Where was Obi-Wan? Where was Qui-Gon?s beloved Padawan with his strange sense of humor and impish smile? He should have lost those soldiers by now.

    ?Obi-Wan is probably just having trouble finding his way back,? King Pankei attempted to assure him from his circle of advisors.

    Qui-Gon attempted a smile, failed horribly. ?Thank you for your empathy Your Excellency, but Obi-Wan has a good sense of direction.?

    King Pankei bowed his head gravely to acknowledge the Jedi?s grief before returning to his muted discussion with Ambassador Rambon.

    It was his fault. After seeing all the soldiers follow Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon should have gone to help. He shouldn?t have left Obi-Wan to fight them by himself.

    //Patience.// Qui-Gon scolded himself. //A Jedi must have patience. Perhaps it is just taking Obi-Wan a long time to elude them.// It was hard to remember that Obi-Wan was only sixteen, still a boy. His Padawan Apprentice worked so hard to excel. His Padawan?his son.

    Qui-Gon had come to think of Obi-Wan as his son. The boy had a habit of worming his way into your heart.

    He shouldn?t have left him to face them alone. Throwing patience to the rancors, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn began to pace.
    * *
    * * *
    Everyone look forward to Obi-Torture in the next post!! And yeah, I realize Qui-Gon's post seems to be a little behind Obi-Wan's in the timeline, but it will make sense later why I did that.
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