Saga A Galaxy of Chaos

Here is my SW fanfic. It takea place before episode I and II.

Star Wars: A Galaxy of Chaos

Chapter 1

The Republic transport traveled Hyperspace en route to the planet Beroonda. Commander Bono Vax stood behind the pilot, Grans Vook, as they sped through Hyperspace. The Republic often sent goods to other worlds for trade and money. This Republic transport carried a substance called valitorna. Valitorna was a soil-like mineral that when put into the ground could quickly and easily grow plants and trees. Valitorna was also helpful to building the engines to Battle Cruisers. It was a essential material for the people of Beroonda.
? Everything looks clear, commander,? Grans Vook said. ? No problems with the engines, the valitorna is safely packed in storage room, and the Hyperspace is clear.?
? That?s good to here,? Commander Bono Vax said. ? Inform me when we arrive at Beroonda.? Commander Vax was about to leave the room when he noticed that the ship had exited Hyperspace. He turned to the pilot and said, ? I did not give the order to exit Hyperspace!?
? It wasn?t me, sir,? Grans Vook said. ? I never took the ship out of Hyperspace.?
? What?!?
? I don?t know, sir,? Grans said. ? It is like we were pulled out of Hyperspace by some sort of advanced technology.? Suddenly, on the control panel for the ship, a small device started to flash red and an alarm sounded throughout the ship.
? What?s going on?? Commander Vax asked.
? We are receiving a signal from a ship,? Grans said. Vax looked out of the view port and said, ? I don?t see any ship.? Suddenly, a huge, purple battle cruiser uncloaked itself around two-hundred meters from the Republic transport. The ship was incredibly long ( three times the size of a Star Destroyer ) and unlike any design ever seen before.
? They are hailing us,? Grans said pressing a few buttons. ? And they have shut off our engines and disabled our radio.?
? How can that be possible? It is impossible to hack into a ship control systems when you are not actually in it!?

? I?m sorry, sir,? Grans said. ? I?ll try and bring the ship back online. And find out why they have disabled our ship.?
? Sir,? Grans said again.
? What?!?
? They are sending a transmission.?
? Well let?s find out what it is,? Bono Vax said angrily. ? And they?d better have a good idea of disabling our ship.? Grans pressed a few switches and the transmission was heard loud and clear.
It said, ? This is Commander Vor?liq Von-Sh?nile of the Caviet Empire. You have trespassed on ancient and forbidden territory.?
? Trespassed?? Bono Vax said. ? We didn?t know about that. Look, we are on our way to Beroonda to give some goods. We come on behalf of Coruscant. We are currently aiding Beroonda. It is urgent that we give this stuff to the people of Beroonda.?
? Your petty excuses are denied,? the deep voice responded. ? The penalty is death.? The transmission went dead. Vax went frozen, his heart beet fast, and he was scared out of his boots.
? The enemy is charging weapons!? Grans cried. Vax couldn?t respond in time. The last thing he ever saw was three blue dots coming straight for their ship.


Chapter 2


? We?re under attack,? the loud voice commanded. ? Get your blasted be-hinds out of bead! Move, move, move!? Captain Chargers Falkeny looked up from his bunk bed to see Major Gramsfeer at the door. An explosion rang from the distance as laser fire could be heard at a distance. Captain Falkeny got up from his bed and quickly out on his uniform. Other soldiers around their sleeping bunks did the same. After he was done getting on his uniforn, the captain ran other to Major Gramsfeer.
? Major Gramsfeer,? Captain Chargers Falkeny said as soldiers ran past them to get out of the room. ? What?s g

 

That was a great start! I really like the Jo'rus and Ajin introductions. More please!

I think it's cool that Ajin from your story fits in with Ajin in mine. It really makes up for a nice 'Ajin continuity.' (that is, unless this is evolving into your version of episode III)

 

Good story

Interesting this Valitorna

The So-Kovians planned on bombing the E.M.C.s ( Endor Military Corps ) base!?.liked this idea.

Jedi Master Jorus C?boath?..I remember him. I read about him somewhere.

They raised their weapons and fired off rounds of lasers blasts at their pursuers. Their shots struck several So-Kovians. Chargers and Iris then started to run again.?cool action you?ve got going.

 

that is, unless this is evolving into your version of episode III

No it is not my version of episode III. It's just your daily book of Star Wars.

More will be on the way soon. Thanks for the responces!

 

The next chapter:

Chapter 5

The Radiant III exited Hyperspace in front of the planet of Beroonda. Jedi Master Eeth Koth looked out the view port of their ship and glared at the planet. Beroonda was a swampy planet with beaches and jungles. It often hosted pod racing. Eeth Koth had brought two other Jedi Knights with him to investigate the disappearance of the missing Republic transport while Eeth talked with the government of Beroonda.
The two Jedi Knights that were with Eeth were the female human Jedi Teka Bohrr and Vlorr Omish, a male Trinbash from the water-world planet of Aqquagar. After having been given clearance to land by the government of Beroonda, Teka Bohrr piloted their Republic ship to a docking bay on one of the landing bays. Three members of the Beroonda Government Council stood at the landing bay to meet Eeth.
Teka piloted the ship and landed it safely on the landing pad. Teka and Vlorr Omish got out of the cockpit and faced Eeth awaiting their orders.
? I will talk with the Beroondan Government,? Eeth Koth said. ? Find out what happened to that republic transport.?
? Yes, Master Koth,? Teka said as she sat back down and readied the engines for departure. Eeth walked to the air-lock, escorted by Vlorr, and pressed the air-lock button. It opened and the boarding ramp went down and touched the surface of the planet. Eeth walked down and approached the three Council members as Teka and Vlorr flied off.
Eeth walked up to the Beroondan Council Members and bowed.
? I come on behalf of the Jedi Council,? Eeth Koth said. ? I am Jedi Master Eeth Koth.?
? We are members of the Beroonda Council,? the leading member
said. Eeth looked over the three alien forms. One was male and the others were female. The Beroondans were humanoid with similar human traits. Beroondans had very long hair and, much like Eeth, had larger ears, and twice the size tongue of that of a normal human.
? I am Ton,? the male said. ? That is Werna and Perneela. We come on behalf of the President of Beroonda.?
? We have a speeder ready to take you to our Council,? Perneela said. Eeth nodded and followed the three Beroondans into a wealthy speeder, got inside, and sped off above a Beroondan city.
? As you know,? Ton said. ? We are not happy with the current situation.? Eeth nodded as the wind, from the speed of the speeder, pulled his long braids backwards.
? We understand,? Eeth said. ? The Republic ship, which we did send, made contact with us before they made the jump to light-speed. We don?t understand why it never made it here. I have sent two Jedi Knights to investigate its disappearance.?
? Of course we believe that you are telling the truth,? Werna said. ? It is the Jedi nature to not lie. But what could have happened to the ship??
? I have a Jedi team currently investigating its disappearance,? Eeth Koth said.
? You are confident they will find something?? Perneela asked.
? Of course,? Eeth Koth said. ? They are well trained Jedi Knights; they both had well respected Jedi Masters who trained them well.? The speeder, carrying the three Beroondan council members and Eeth, sped ahead toward a large building. The Council members were escorting Eeth to the President of Beroonda where he could talk about maintaining peace.
The speeder pulled up to a small boarding ramp which stuck out of the building. Two Beroondan guards stood on the platform as the speeder pulled up and dropped off Eeth and the three council members. Eeth and the council members got out and walked to a door which led into the building.

* * *

Two Jedi StarFighters landed on the planet Endor as smoke filled destroyed houses and toppled buildings. Dead bodies filled the streets and weapons were laid everywhere. Destroyed tanks and speeders were on fire or torn into pieces.
Jorus C?boath slow

 

That was great. I liked the "hey, it's me" line. I like the way that Jo'rus is obviously the more risky of the two and that leads to some interesting interactions between Jo'rus and C'baoth.

Keep it coming.

 

Thanks DM. The next chapter will be ready sometime monday.


MasterPower

 

Good post. These parts were great:

Time to die,? the So-Kovian responded. He was about to hold the trigger when two lightsabers ejected behind him. The So-Kovian turned around and standing behind him were two Jedi with their blades ejected.

Ajin deflected two shots with his lightsaber and lunged forward striking with his lightsaber as it went straight into the heart of a soldier. Ajin somersaulted to his left deflecting lasers while in the air. One of the shots reflected went back into a So-Kovian soldier.

 

Hey that was great.I like how Jorus doesn't always do the right thing.I liked all the battle scenes.Im definently getting on and reading more on Monday.

 

thanks AC!



MasterPower

 

"good job"



i really like your story. i look forward to reading more. the battle scenes are fun to read, and i'm getting a kick out of Jorus.

 

Here is the next part of my story. Sorry if it's a little short but a lot more will be ready tomorrow.

Chapter 6

The Radiant III circled around Beroonda again but found no trace of the lost Republic cargo ship. Jedi Knights Teka Bohrr and Vlor Omish sat in the cockpit of the cruiser. They couldn?t believe that there was still no trace of the ship.
? It could not have just disappeared,? Vlor said angrily. ? It doesn?t make since.?
? I still wish we could find something,? Teka said.
? You think something happened to them?? Vlor asked.
? Like what??
? Maybe they didn?t just disappear. Maybe something bad happened to them. Space Pirates could have gotten them or maybe they took off and stole the valitorna.?
? I knew Commander Vax. He wouldn?t do that.?
? Okay then what could have happened to them??
? You think they were attacked and their ship was destroyed??
? It?s the only thing that fits here. I mean, you say that Commander Vax wouldn?t have stolen the valitorna so it is the only other solution.?
? Well maybe your right,? Teka said as she turned their transport to the left hoping to spot something. They traveled another five minutes checking radar, an Hyperspace activities, and even circled around Beroonda again but they still found nothing.
? Well we?ll just have to return to Beroonda and tell Master Eeth what has happened,? Teka said. She reversed the controls and was about to head back when a small red flashing light came from the control panel. Vlor looked at Teka who said, ? I think I got something here.?
? What is it??
? I?m not sure. The radar is picking up something but there is nothing to be seen.? The two Jedi scanned hard looking into deep space to find out what could be out there. Suddenly, around two hundred yards away from their position, a massive purple battle ship exited cloaking device and stood still.
? What is that?? Vlor asked surprised. ? I?ve never seen anything like it.?
? Your right,? Teka said. She pressed a few buttons and tried to hail the purple battle ship. The ships stood at each other not moving as they waited.
? They have received our distress call,? Teka said. She grabbed her comlink and signaled the other ship but their com. unit was jammed.
? That?s impossible!? Teka exclaimed as she frantically tried to press buttons and see if they were to work.
? What?s wrong?? Vlor asked.
? They have jammed our signal and shut down all our controls,? Teka said surprised. ? It must be an advanced ship if it can do that. No ship can disable a ship from the inside without being inside it.?
? Look they are signaling us,? Vlor asked pointing a flashing green light on the control panel. Teka pressed a few switches so they could receive the message.
Instead of a message, a hologram in the control panel appeared before them and an unknown alien appeared. The alien wasn?t that big in the hologram but Teka could tell by looking at it that it was eight feet tall. It had six orange long spikes rising from its back. Its shoulders and legs were thick and strong. And it wore purplish-blue cortosis armor around its whole body. And a black cloak hung down this one?s shoulders.
? I am Commander Vor?liq Von-Sh?nile of the Caviet Empire,? it said in a deep string voice. ? You have trespassed on ancient and. . . ? Teka cut him off by saying, ? I am Jedi Knight Teka Bohrr. This isn?t your land, it belongs to the Beroondans!?
? Not for long,? Vor?liq Von-Sh?nile said. His hologram disappeared and a white light from the Caviet Battle Cruiser shot at the Republic Transport and surrounded it.
? What?s going on?? Vlor asked as their ship slowly moved toward the Caviet Battle Cruiser.
? They got us in their Tractor Beam!? Teka said as she pressed buttons and tried to escape it. ? Their sucking us in!?
? What are we going to do?? Vlor asked.
? There?s nothin

 

Good job MP. That commander is stupid. I can't wait to see the Jedi fight in the hangar.

 

Hey it was gerat MasterP!!!!!
I can't wait till tommorow (Even though I have to.)
Just like DM I cant wait until the fight.
I want to find out what moves these aliens have.

 

Since tomorrows was a really long one I decided to split in half so you had the chance of reading some now. So here is the hangar seen.
And what did you think of that Caviet picture??


The Republic ship landed inside the hangar of the Caviet Battle Ship. Eight foot tall Caviet soldiers surrounded the ship and pointed their blasters at it.
Inside the ship, Teka Bhorr and Vlor Omish held their lightsabers in their hands as they waited for someone to walk up the landing ramp, which was already down. But the Caviets stood their positions outside the ship pointing their weapons at the landing ramp. Teka slowly peaked her head out to count their enemies. Her moves were so fast that the Caviets couldn?t see her look out.
She then leaned against the wall after looking out. Her face was pale. She had counted twelve soldiers. But that wasn?t her concern.
? What?s wrong?? Vlor whispered.
? They are wearing cortosis body armor,? Teka said. ? And that?s not the only problem. They are eight feet tall. And they have sonic blasters so we won?t be able to deflect it with our lightsabers.? Vlor pulled out a thermal detonator and pulled the timer release. He stepped on the boarding ramp and threw the detonator.
The sphere-like grenade landed with a thud and exploded. Grey smoke filled the hangar as Teka and Vlor ejected their lightsabers and ran out. The smoke cleared but all the Caviet soldiers were alive! The thermal had done no damage to their superior armor! The twelve Caviet soldiers in the hangar opened fire as the sonic shots ( bubble like bullets ) shot toward the jedi. With their Jedi abilities they were able to dodge the shots as they charged toward the Caviet soldiers. They held their sabers high as Vlor came upon the first Caviet soldier.
The Caviet soldier was at least two feet higher than he was and he swung at the Caviet?s legs. But the cortosis armor on the legs of the soldiers stopped the lightsaber attack. The orange blade deactivated as soon as it hit the armor. Vlor quickly ejected the orange glow attack but the Caviet soldier punched Vlor as the amphibian Jedi fell backwards on the ground hard.
Teka had better luck. She was able to cut through a Caviet?s shoulder with her lightsaber where the cortosis armory wasn?t as protected their. The Caviet soldier roared in pain as he fell to the ground along side his severed arm. Two Caviets to the left of Teka fired their sonic blasters at her as she rolled on the ground avoiding the shots.
Vlor dodged sonic shots as he made his way over to Teka. The two jumped forward and struck hard striking down another Caviet soldier. An ear-piercing alarm sounded throughout the ship as the ten remaining Caviet soldiers charged toward the Jedi. Vlor and Teka knew that even though they were Jedi, something about this alien species made them weaker. They were superior in technology than anyone had ever seen. And had armor that could stop a lightsaber. But Teka and Vlor knew that they had already killed two of the Caviet soldiers. And they also knew that they could do the same to the other remaining ten.
Vlor jumped forward and flipped in the air as Teka rolled to the left to try and flank the Caviet soldiers. They hoped to separate them and have them scattered. But somehow the Caviets knew their plan as they stuck together still shooting their sonic shots. With the failed plan, Teka dn Vlor decided to run forward and attempt to kill these aliens.
Vlor raised his hand and called the Force. Three Caviet soldiers were thrown backwards and hit the Republic ship hard knocking them out cold.
Seven left.
Teka jumped forward swinging her lethal lightsaber into the body of a Caviet soldier. The Caviet gurgled as it felt the lightsaber travel right through an area on his body where a lightsaber could pass and not be stopped by a cortosis-plated armor.
The alarm that had sounded before was still ringing violently. Loud running noises from the Caviets clanking feet could be hea

 

Good job MP. I really like these Caviets, you did a great job of creating them.

 

Love the shots they fire.
The pic you put up last time looks a little like someone in Halo.Great story.Glad I didnt have to wait until tommorow to read it!

 

Good work. I like the detail in the fight scenes. Very realistic.

I liked these parts most:

The Caviet soldier was at least two feet higher than he was and he swung at the Caviet?s legs. But the cortosis armor on the legs of the soldiers stopped the lightsaber attack. The orange blade deactivated as soon as it hit the armor. Vlor quickly ejected the orange glow attack but the Caviet soldier punched Vlor as the amphibian Jedi fell backwards on the ground hard.

Vlor jumped forward and flipped in the air as Teka rolled to the left to try and flank the Caviet soldiers. They hoped to separate them and have them scattered. But somehow the Caviets knew their plan as they stuck together still shooting their sonic shots. With the failed plan, Teka dn Vlor decided to run forward and attempt to kill these aliens.
Vlor raised his hand and called the Force. Three Caviet soldiers were thrown backwards and hit the Republic ship hard knocking them out cold.

 

Yes, AC. These Caviets are a little like an Elite in Halo. But much different.

 

The next part to my smashing story!

Chapter 7

Vor?liq Von-Sh?nile sat on the command chair on his ship which orbited Beroonda. It was cloaked as it waited for the other two expected Caviet cruisers. The Caviet Empire had planned on extending its Empire. And since Beroonda was the closest place, they were going to attack that place first. Second-in-charge Alon Mon?flor walked up to the commander of the ship and informed him of their current status.
? Commander Von-Sh?nile,? Alon addressed. ? The two other Caviet ships have been spotted on long-range sensors and should arrive within the hour. The attack is still on schedule.?
? Good,? Vor?liq answered. ? And what of our Jedi friends that we captured??
? Their ship has docked and they have already killed two of our soldiers,? Alon said. ? They are somewhere on this ship. But our soldiers will find them.?
? They?d better,? Vor?liq responded. ? Begin the attack on the destined planets. And send the Glamore?s first.?

* * *

After talking with the Governor of Beroonda, Eeth Koth walked out of the officer building and back to the platform where Teka and Vlor were supposed to pick him up. The governor had agreed that the missing valitorna was not Coruscant?s fault but someone else?s. The governor also agreed that they would be open to relations between their two worlds.
Eeth walked up on the landing ramp and sat down on a bench as he waited for Teka and Vlor. But he also sensed a disturbance in the Force. He wasn?t sure what or where it might be coming from but he was getting a sick feeling that something bad was going to happen.
He grabbed his comlink and tried to signal Teka and Vlor to see where they might be. Neither Teke or Vlor answered their comlink. Eeth wondered if the disturbance in the Force was related to Teka and Vlor. Eeth started to get worried as he got off the bench and walked down from the landing ramp. He quickly took an air speeder as he made his back to the officer building where the Beroondan governor was at.
Eeth Koth entered the building, checked in with security, and walked into the officer of Governor Almendo of Beroonda.
? Jedi Master Koth,? Governor Almendo said surprised to see the Jedi back. ? I already said that peace is still fine between Coruscant and Beroonda, there is no reason for you to be here.?
? I would like to ask for one last favor if I may,? Eeth said.
? Yes?? the governor said laying down the papers he was reading behind his desk.
? Do you have any satellite radar?? Eeth Koth said. ? It seems that my Jedi friends are not at the landing port to pick me up. And I also sense a disturbance in the Force. I am afraid it is linked to Teka Bohrr and Vlor Omish.?
? A moment please,? Almendo said as he accessed his computer to bring up a radar screen. He typed in a few switches and a hologram appeared, in front of Governor Almendo?s desk, of the planet Beroonda and all the surrounding planet. Eeth scanned hard as he looked for a blip in the radar. But nothing showed any evidence of Teka?s Republic ship still up there.
? The radar is not picking up any ship in the radar or in orbit of Beroonda,? Almendo said.
? The same thing must have happened to them just as something happened to the valitorna delivery,? Eeth said. Eeth looked at the screen some more as the governor looked at the long-range sensor radar.
? I?m picking up two ships on long-range radar,? Almendo said. ? Are these your ships coming to pick you up? Because they are heading this way.? Eeth shook his head and said, ? We only took one ship. This must be someone else.?
? But why would they be on a route to this planet?? Almendo said.
? Do you normally get any visitors?? Eeth asked.
? Not really,? Almendo said. ? But only when we host a Pod Racing tournament. And there isn?t another Pod Race for another year.?
Eeth watched the two b

 

Awesome Glamores. Great job MP.

 

Here is a very long part to my fanfic. ENKOY!!

Chapter 8

Jedi Masters Jorus C?boath and Ajin Nolis crept through the night toward a landing bay on the planet Endor. Jorus had told Chargers that when he and Ajin had secured the landing bay, Chargers, Bruce, and Iris were going to travel to So-Kov and try to get to the dictator of the planet. The two Jedi Masters went undected as they crawled to the end of a hill and looked down upon a landing bay where several Endor shuttles and star fighters were docked. The only problem was that So-Kovian soldiers were guarding everywhere.
Jorus pulled out his electrobinoculars and scanned the area.
? Well,? he said. ? There?s a lot of troops.?
? Which of course won?t be a problem,? Ajin said as he took the elecrtobinoculars from Jorus and looked through it.
? Any safe way to a ship?? Jorus asked Ajin as they looked down below. Ajin scanned some more and noticed some weak spots where they could enter.
? Yes,? Ajin said. ? Over there by that Fondor Speed Freighter.? Ajin pointed to a Fondor shuttle that was not as heavily guarded as the other once.
? Let?s move.? Jorus and Ajin slowly crawled down the grassy hill as they made their way to the landing bay. The tall grass was good cover whenever someone looked their way. The made it to the edge of the grassy slope as they stopped their and looked out. In front of them were two So-Kovian soldiers guarding a ship. Jorus looked over at the Fondor Speed Freighter. They needed to cross the courtyard, which was filled with starships and So-Kovian guards, to reach the Fondor Speed Freighter.
Jorus looked back to the two guards in front of them. Jorus looked over at Ajin and the two what needed to be done. They needed to eliminate those two guards if they were to cross the courtyard to the Fondor Speed Freighter. The Jedi reached for their sabers and jumped out into the clearing. With two elegant strokes of their lightsabers, the guards were destroyed without a single sound.
With their lightsabers in their hands, the two Jedi quickly hid behind the first ship. Ajin looked quickly out from behind the ship to see if any guards were present. It showed all clear. They ran toward the next closest ship and then the next. Soon they made it to the ship right in front of the Fondor Speed Freighter.
The two So-Kovian guards, who were guarding the Fondor Speed Frieghter, were still there. Ajin looked toward a guard tower where a huge light swept through the area to look from intruders. The guard tower where just above the Fondor Speed Freighter. If they were discovered, the entire So-Kovian platoon guarding the starship grounds would know the Jedi were here.
Ajin couldn?t risk being heard over in his voice and sent hand language signs to Jorus to tell them of the problem. Jorus didn?t look to happy as he leaned his head against the side of the ship they were hiding behing.
? What should we do?? Ajin whispered very silently.
? We?ll have to attack,? Jorus whispered back. ? You take the guards; I?ll get the tower.? The two Jedi nodded and jumped out in the open. Ajin ejected his purple bladed lightsaber and ran toward the two So-Kovian guards. The lifted their blaster rifles and fired. Ajin deflected the shots as he rolled on the ground and stabbed one of the guards in the chest. Seeing this, the other guard tried to run away. Ajin summoned the Force and lifted his hand sending the So-Kovian guard flying into a docked ship. The guard hit the ship with a dull thud.
At the same time, Jorus climbed up the tower where the So-Kovian guard controlled the huge light. Jorus reached the top and swung his lightsaber cuting the guard in half. Jorus signaled for Ajin to ready the Fondor Speed Freighter while Jorus climbed back down. The engines to the freighter started as Jorus reached the ground again. An alarm was sounded throughout the starship yard before Jorus to climb up the landing ramp into the Fondor Speed Freighter. With the

 

That was very good. I liked that one of the Jedi died. I also liked the Jedi supersoldier.

Don't forget to check out my vignette and fanscript. Links are all in my BIO.

 

Good fighting scenes, and nice how you got in lots of characters too.

 

Thanks for the replies guys. More will be coming this monday.


MasterPower