A Guide To Atlanta, Ga

Discussion in 'Atlanta, GA' started by Stranded in space, Jul 27, 2001.

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  1. Stranded in space Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2000
    star 4
    I got this as an e-mail, it made me laugh. but then again there's some truth to it all. ;)

    A Guide to Atlanta, Georgia

    -Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

    -All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree..." and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House....." Except that
    in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken...."

    -Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Corners Circle, Peachtree Dunwoody,Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave., Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old
    Peachtree, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.

    -Atlantans only know their way to work and their way ho me. If you ask anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.

    -Atlanta is home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink... unless it's made by Coca Cola. And even then, it's still "Coke."

    -Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse so wear sneakers and pack a lunch. The doors on the trains in the airport do not reopen like an elevator if you stick your hand out. And, they hurt.

    -It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don't feel lost, they're just on a "scenic drive."

    -The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 a.m. The 5:00 p.m. rush hour is from 3:30 to 7:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning and lasts through 2:00 a.m.
    Saturday.

    -Reversible lanes are not understood by anybody especially those of us who live here. Stay out of them unless you are looking for a head-on collision.

    -If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread,bottled water, toilet paper, and beer if there is a
    remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on every street corner selling "I survived the blizzard" T-shirts.

    -If you're standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.

    -It is always Smog Alert Day. That sign does not have the ability to say anything else.

    -Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.

    -Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as Road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name. Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80
    mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

    -Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis
    match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the college prep preschool.

    -The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy which starts at 120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range, and all roads, vehicles, houses, etc., are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die.

    -The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your
    car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

    So, let's all just try to understand the rules and stay at home :)
  2. Nillanator Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2001
    star 2
    Stranded....LOL

    I will keep all these in mind while at DragonCon. Especially the Peachtree streets thing, already kinda figured this one out by looking at the map of the area and seeing that Everything was on "Peachtree".

    P.S. some of these sound similar to how Little Rock is too. ;)
  3. MysterySith MEPA Founder/Advisor FF NYC, NY

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2000
    star 5
    Coke Rules, I live on Coke, I am an addict. I am drinking now and I am going to bed soon.

    I cannot wait to go to the coke museum and drink Atlanta Coke. I have to buy a Coke Shirt.

    We do have a Coke Store here in NYC.

    I Love coke

    Always Coca Cola!!!!!!
  4. Lord_Gita Former TFN FanFilms Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Oct 5, 2000
    star 4
    I remember spending 30 minutes circling trying to figure out which Peachtree we were sent down. :D
  5. Gen. Madine's Hairpiece Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2000
    star 4
    My subdivision has a Standing Peachtree Lane and a Leaning Peachtree Court.




    I've never seen a real peach tree.
  6. Lord_Gita Former TFN FanFilms Staff

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    Member Since:
    Oct 5, 2000
    star 4
    Do the standing and leaning designations mean anything in relation to actual peach trees?
  7. red_rose Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2001
    star 4
    Standing/Leaning LG? Not exactly sure what you mean? All the peach trees I've seen have been very vertical. ;)

    LOL!! SS! Man I'll have to show that to my mom!

    Yippee!! Another Coke fan!!! Be careful though. A friend of mine tasted all the samples at the World of Coca Cola and it kinda made her a little quesy. Go slow but have fun MS!!!
  8. Jedireject Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2001
    star 1
    We hide a dispensor of Everclear and Jagermeister in with the other coke flavors just for the tourists.

    Jedireject
  9. red_rose Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2001
    star 4
    *reads JR's post* Uhh. Like I said MS be careful! :p

    Geez. No wonder she was quesy! :p
  10. eem23 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2001
    i remember when the atl. airport had that cool robot's voice for the trams that took you from terminal to terminal. i felt like i was in a blade runner style movie.
  11. Jace Darkrider Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1998
    star 3
    I always thought the doors sounded like Cylons from Battlestar Galactica. LOL! At least I'm not alone in thinking it was pretty cool and funky.
  12. Lord_Gita Former TFN FanFilms Staff

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    Member Since:
    Oct 5, 2000
    star 4
    See GMH said his street had standing and leaning peachtrees so I asked if that was significant to the variation of the trees themselves. I am not completely mindless... Just mostly. ;)
  13. red_rose Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2001
    star 4
    LOL! Hmmmm. Sure GMH was sober at the time? ;)
  14. Gen. Madine's Hairpiece Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2000
    star 4
    Always Coca Cola!
    ^
    rum &




    Seriously, those are the street names.
  15. Master_Halcyon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2001
    star 1
    On the GA Tech campus they don't non coke products. Even the milk says coca cola on it.
  16. red_rose Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2001
    star 4
    Geez must be the proximity to Coca Cola. Even we don't get that at UGA though we do have vending machines with Bulldogs holding a glass bottle of coca cola. Does Ga Tech have vending machines with yellow jackets holding cokes?
  17. Master_Halcyon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2001
    star 1
    Yeah a bunch do have buzz holding a coke with him holding it out offering one. I really like Mountain Dew so I have to cross the I-75 to go get some from a gas station.
  18. Tammy-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    The robot voice is gone from the airport trains! It was an Atlanta institution, like the Varsity!... let's here it for Varsity chili dogs and a frosted orange!

    Tammy-Wan
  19. Master_Halcyon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2001
    star 1
    now the milk thing was an exageration
  20. red_rose Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2001
    star 4
    LOL!!! Well you got me with that one MH!

    What! They took away the voices! Man.
    Oooooh. Orange frosty! Man now I'm hungry. :p
  21. ObiWill Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    star 4
    --Whoops.. read following message.. --
  22. ObiWill Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    star 4
    Speaking of food, I am jealous of the Atlanta Underground food court...some of the best barbecue I've ever had. :D Why can't we have a place like that in NY?



  23. Jace Darkrider Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1998
    star 3
    Yuck! You think that the bbq joints in the food court are good??? You need to try to some real southern bbq. Next time we guys come to town we'll take you to a few places. Then you'll think the food court stuff tastes like poodu.
  24. ObiWill Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    star 4
    It might not have been "the" best, but we enjoyed every bite. (I can't speak for MysterySith. :D )

    Being from NY, I don't generally get to eat a pulled pork sandwich on 2 inch thick white bread -- which requires jaws like the Rancor's to devour -- with a heaping side of collard greens; it was quite enjoyable and a far cry from the usual mall fare. We stopped at a roadside BBQ joint in Henderson NC on the drive back, which made the 17 1/2 hour trip a little better (the extra 1/2 hour was spent finding the restaurant). NYC is definitely not a town for good BBQ, though a couple of places (Dallas BBQ and Virgil's "Real" BBQ) make an effort.

    mmmmm baaarbecue....</HomerSimpsonDrool>

    And Chick-Fil-A's nuggets beat Mickey D's hands down.
  25. Nillanator Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2001
    star 2
    Well, I was with the New York crew when we all went to that food court, and they all were stunned that I got PIZZA instead of the BBQ...LOL I think they were just glad NOT to be eating Hyatt Hotel food anymore.

    and Will...told you I did about the Chick-fil-a nuggets. ;)
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