Saga A JEDI NO MORE (Mustafar...Obi-Wan's POV)

Title: A Jedi No More

Author: Magenta_Moonshadow

Characters: Obi-Wan / Anakin

Category: Extreme angst!

Timeframe: Revenge of the Sith

Notes: I know that the Mustafar Duel is a favourite with fanfic writers, so here's my version... And I'd like to publicly thank my ever-patient Master Nienna Narmolanya for all her help, encouragements and suggestions for this story...


A JEDI NO MORE


Mustafar.

The air is burning, thick and heavy beneath an angry purple sky. The scorching ground shakes and rumbles beneath my feet in time to a thunderous roar as another fiery eruption spews forth its scalding burden from somewhere not too far away. Hot orange rain is falling, harsh and cruel - a blistering shower of sparks, dust and ashes.

Even from here, above the deadly river of lava, I can taste the acrid fumes. Their bitter poison fills my mouth and lungs, and the stifling grey-black smoke threatens to choke me.

I can see Anakin far below. He still has a foothold on what remains of the twisted metal platform as it rolls and pitches in the molten flow. Again, I cry out to him in a final desperate attempt to make him see reason:

"It's over, Anakin! I have the high ground!"

Surely, even at this point, he is aware that it is not too late for him to turn back - to try to atone for what he has done? To seek forgiveness, or to show at least a shred of remorse?

But when he looks at me, I see the cold madness in his eyes, and when he finally speaks, I hear again the resolute air of arrogant confidence in his voice: "You underestimate my power!"

I know I am a Jedi, but the searing heat, the fury of the fight, the betrayal of everything I have ever cared about - all have taken their toll today. I am physically exhausted and my mind is a whirling pool of emotions. I keep trying to find the calm centre to ground myself once more, but I might as well try to catch a thunderstorm. Like a handful of sand slipping through my fingers...

Again, I plead with him: "Don't try it!"

Please, Anakin! PLEASE! I don't want to do this. Don't make me kill you.

My emotional shields are slipping; they topple down like a roughly cast aside deck of Sabacc cards, and before I can stop them, I feel my wild, errant thoughts escape and go screaming into the Force ? surely, Anakin must have heard them?

But if he did, he pays them no heed, for in the space of a heartbeat, with his light-saber raised high; he jumps...and tries to land on the cinder-strewn bank behind me.

Instinctively, I lash out in self-defense. I see the flash of pure blue light and feel the Force singing in my ears as my saber slices through the approaching blur of utter darkness...and in yet another heartbeat, Anakin's broken body is tumbling down the black sandy slope.

I do not want to look, but I know I must. I have to...to see what I have done. No... No... No... I feel sick - I want to retch, but my stomach is empty. I have sliced off both his legs and his one good arm. You made me do it, Anakin! You made me do it! Why didn't you listen?

He looks up at me, and I see surprise, pain and fear race across his face, one by one. For the first time in all the years I have known him, he is afraid of me. I see him slide further down the slope. He tries to claw his way up with his mechanical hand, but the hot ashes and black gravel make it impossible for him.

I have tried not to show my emotions since I left behind what remained of the smoldering Jedi Temple to follow him here, but now they finally break free. I cannot keep control of them any more.

I want to weep. My aching eyes sting from the fumes and smoke, but the pain of Anakin's betrayal hurts me far more. It is beyond a mere physical pain; it reaches into the very core of my soul and tears out my heart.

So I do not hold back, and I find myself shouting at him. I let the words roll from my mouth, strong and harsh, like a grea

 

You moved me to tears Magenta - goodness, where to start...you've written a wonderful piece here...I felt so much for Obi and your take on his thoughts in this scene really ring true.

I want to weep. My aching eyes sting from the fumes and smoke, but the pain of Anakin's betrayal hurts me far more. It is beyond a mere physical pain; it reaches into the very core of my soul and tears out my heart.

The ending was so painful to read ...

On the day I took Anakin as my padawan, we began to create our mind-bond. It was unsteady at first, but grew strong over the years, and I could always sense something of his comforting presence there, in the back of my mind. Now I hear only silence, and, in the cold dark heart of this silence, all I am aware of is the pain-wracked whisper of oblivion.


You've really done a marvellous job with this - well done...

 

This is brilliant! Your early descriptions of Mustafar at the beginning set the scene perfectly and the way you described Obi-Wans myriad of emotions as he watched Anakin be consumed by flames and his hatred were breathtaking. I loved it.

 

Qui-Gon, please forgive me...for I cannot forgive myself. I have failed you. And I have failed Anakin...




That just ripped my heart out.

You've done an amazing job of capturing Obi-Wan's anguish.

Bravo

 

Kestrel_Kenobi Sorry I made you cry! I'm glad you liked it, though...

BenStriker Thank you!

KELIAMany thanks for your kind words!

 

you really did an amazing job of taking us through the whirlwind of emotions obi felt on mustafar.. it was really quite heart-breaking to read that duel from obi's perspective.
i think you did a better job with the end of the duel then what the official movie novelization did. i felt that in the novelization it was a bit rushed through and all the emotion of those moments weren't really brought to as much light as they should've been.
you certainly didn't shy away from the emotion of mustafar with this! you did a brilliant job!

As he was the Chosen One, I will leave his fate to the Will of the Force ? for only the Force can determine his destiny. All I can do for him now is at least to try to save that which he loved. My duty is now to Padme, and her unborn child. Anakin's child...

i also loved how you point out little moments like that. we can see it in the film happening, and we can assume that's what obi's thinking, but it's very powerful when it's put into words.
i also felt that way about when obi said
"You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!"
and you pointed out that obi never told anakin that before, until now, and it was too late.
thank you for sharing this with us and thanks kes for telling me about it!

 

obi_webb Wow! I'm speechless! Thank you very much!

 

Yay! I'm so glad this is finally up, padawan!

You've put together a powerful piece, brimming with emotion and imagery. Amazing work! The way you set up scenes and ideas with vivid and poetic descriptions is astounding!

And as for what Obi-Wan's going through... You've handled his raw emotions with grace and skill. I loved it!

 

Beautiful and poetically written.


Yet as I turn away, I also remember what the Younglings suffered. They were innocent. So innocent... Little children whose pure lights shone so strong and so bright with the untamed power of the Force. They did not yet know the full strength of the gift they had been born with, and yet their sweet lights were dimmed - snuffed out like so many unwanted candles - by Anakin's hand. They were bright beacons of hope for the future, yet he showed them no mercy.

So Anakin is far from innocent, and although I loved him as a brother, I cannot forgive him for what he has done. I am a Jedi and I know I should not feel like this, but I no longer have any compassion towards him - towards what he has become. So I cannot deliver the final, merciful blow to end his suffering. It is not for me to make that decision.

I especially liked this... it really spoke "Obi-Wan" to me. Good job! Most impressive.

 

Nienna_Narmolanya Thank you! And Thank You for all your help and wise words of advice!

Luna_Nightshade I'm glad you liked it! Thank you!

 

I loved it!

Thank you for the pm!!!

 

This is so amazing! What an excellent job you did of showing the despair that Obi-Wan felt and his reasons for not striking the final blow that would have ended his brother's life. And the last part when Obi-Wan talks of having lost the mind-bond - wow! That was the clincher for me!

So very well done!

 

Thank you, QuiGonGal

PadwanKaylaThank you! I'm glad you liked it!

 

Wow, wow, and wow. What poetry, what emotion. I love:

So I do not hold back, and I find myself shouting at him. I let the words roll from my mouth, strong and harsh, like a great wave crashing onto the shore.

"You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! It was you who would bring balance to the Force, not leave it in Darkness!"

Yet to my surprise, even now, even after all of this, my voice is edged with a vestige of pity. But my pity is not for the dying Anakin that lies before me on the smoldering slope. My pity is for the good man that Anakin was, and now for the man that Anakin will never be...All his bravery, his kindness, his hopes for the future - the very things that made him Anakin - all are lost. He has sold his soul to the Sith.

What tragedy you bring to life.

 

Valairy_Scot Thank you so much!

I'm really glad you liked it!

 

You weren't kidding when you said (written) that it was angsty! I feel that I should quote something, but then I would have to quote the whole fic.

I loved Obi-Wan's point of view. He had done the right thing, but it doesn't make it easier for him, even harder if possible. I feel sorry for both of them. For the bright boy Anakin once was, for poor Obi having to cripple his brother... This is a scene from ROTS I can't bear to watch till today, I always go to the bathroom when someone is watching it.

Great viggie!!

 

CrazyAni, I'm so glad you liked it!

I agree, it's not an 'easy' or comfortable scene to watch, there's so much anguish going on, which was why I tried so much to get it 'right' in my story...

I hope that I (at least partly) succeeded?

 

even after all of this, my voice is edged with a vestige of pity. But my pity is not for the dying Anakin that lies before me on the smoldering slope. My pity is for the good man that Anakin was, and now for the man that Anakin will never be...

Poor Anakin, and poor Obi

 

StarryAngelThank you for reading, I'm glad you liked it!

 

Beautiful! How honored I am to have a sister-Padawan who bears such amazing skill! Really, it was just amazing. I felt Obi-Wan's pain, Anakin's hate, the whole heat of the battle as I read the story. You did such a great job and made the content your own. I loved it. Bravo!

 

Thank you very much, Katie!

 

I am always impressed by those writing about the Mustafar duel. It is the darkest and saddest moment to the saga and it is so difficult to understand what Obi-Wan felt after he mutilated Anakin.

I think one of the most debated issues is why Obi-Wan did not inflict a merciful killing blow. Logically, he cannot kill Vader because he was alive in the OT, but it is no difficult to find a convincing explanation for a behaviour that seems so unlike Obi-Wan's.

I found your idea very interesting. He has no longer compassion for the man Anakin has become. My own, instead is almost the opposite: Obi-Wan doesn't inflict any killing blow because he i unable to kill Anakin and goes away because he cannot watch Darth Vader suffer...It is not perfect, but works for me.

Anyway, thank you for another great piece of writing, sad (how could not be?) but very well done!

 

What a very beautiful and touching viggie. You captured Obi-Wan so perfectly. Wonderful story!!

 

GEN_MASSIMO Thank you! Obi-Wan didn't like to see what Anakin had become, but he still couldn't bear to watch him suffer...

I think that Obi-Wan thought that Anakin was only seconds from death by the time he left him, anyway...

LilyHobbitJedi Glad you liked it!

 

Oh. My. Gosh. I'm speechless! That was...that was...
That was so wonderfully written. Brilliant job on this!!!!!!!!