Before A Jedi's Sacrifice (a KOTOR fic) authors note--6-27

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_webb, Oct 22, 2005.

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  1. DarthReven Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2005
    LOL, the ending was vivid. I could so easily see Bastila's semi-disgusted, semi-pleased expression when she saw that...

    I agree with the others, I almost felt sorry for Teth. He obviously had something planned, but it came off to me that it wasnt malevolent. Buuuuut, now that Bastila has rejected him...
  2. jaina_clan_solo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    wonderful update!

    I'm glad to see that they are all safe, and ready to leave Yavin IV... though they probably won't have many more troubles until they reach the Sith Empire.

    [face_worried] although I think that Bastila's attitude toward Teth Aron may come back to haunt them...

    Can't wait to see what happens next!

    [:D] jcs
  3. Jherron Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 1, 2007
    This is a really good story, I'm glad I decided to read it. =D=
  4. Jedi_Drizzt Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2006
    star 1
    I've started reading this story a littr while ago, but I forgot about it. [face_blush] I've seen that you posted the new update so I went to read it from the beginning again. ;) It took me three days, but I finally did it. I have to say that the overall story is amazing. :D It has the good continuity and it is even better as a whole than each chapter. I liked the last one. And I especially liked your Jolee. :) Great job! =D=
  5. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    the next part is coming soon! no promises, but i hope it's up by monday night!

    Kestrel Kenobi- sorry if the end was slightly [face_sick] :p i'd like to state for the record that it is not my fault. when i make up someone or something suitable to blame, you will be the first to know!;) least it was a bastila chapter! i know you liked that:D [:D]

    WyoJedi- glad you liked it!:cool: especially the end with jolee, it was hard to not make it too over the top or ridiculous.

    DarthReven- so i get the impression that everyone thinks bastila made a mistake? hm, i wonder if it will come back to haunt her?[face_devil]

    jaina clan solo- mostly they're safe until the sith empire? really? i don't remember that in my notes!:p or wait, maybe i have the pages jumbled! heh.
    thanks as always, for everything [:D]

    Jherron- i'm glad you decided to read it too:cool: hope your kotor reading is going well!

    Jedi_Drizzt- wow, so you pretty much read my story twice! that's awesome!:) i especially appreciated your comment that the whole story is even better then the individual chapters. i think that is hard to do in fanfic sometimes. your comment actually make me read all this from the beginning again, for the first time in ages. thanks!
  6. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    Gando Star lands the ship on the planet Indar just outside a city called Wexis V.

    According to the ships database, it was a fairly average planet in terms of size, importance and population, which is what Gando was looking for. If he picked smaller settlement, their arrival might cause some excitement and he certainly didn't want anyone to pay any particular notice to them. A bigger metropolis, their arrival would be simply one of many, but more people equals more variables, and Gando didn't know near enough about his surroundings to leave anything to chance.

    The Sith Army wasn't much of a force out here on the borders according to Mera. So at least that was one thing he didn't have to worry about.

    Mera is in her little area of the ship, rummaging through her things. "We're not gonna go destroying this ship right
    away, are we?" she asks, loud enough that Gando can hear her from the bridge.

    "No, I certainly didn't plan on it." he answers. "Not at least until we acquire a new one."

    Mera closes the plasteel cylinder she was rummaging through. "Then I don't need to worry about packing everything.." she mutters to herself.

    "Question-" they both hear as HK chimes in from the cargo hold. "Does the acquiring of this new ship mean we are going to
    STEAL it? And will that act of theft possibly involve the slaughter of a good number of meatbags?"

    "Sure it will," Gando comments wryly. "But while we're busy with the killing, I'm going to have you on the ship, getting the ships computer files ready for transfer!"

    Mera didn't think droids could sigh, but she swears she hears one come from 46.5.

    She walks onto the bridge, and says softly so HK can't hear, "But we aren't really going to be killing anyone here, are we?"

    "Well, let's say if we have to then my plans are dissolving even faster then I expected them to." Gando says with a wink as he smiles, and tries to make sure Mera is relaxed as possible.

    Being back in her section of the universe was something that Mera had very mixed feelings about, even though she tried not
    to show it, and made an effort appear as calm, cool and collected as possible.

    She smiles, thinking for the hundreth time how strange it feels to be back in the Empire again. "Well then, I hope we at least get a cool new ship and maybe get rid of 46.5 with this one before we're captured, tortured and eventually killed."

    Gando smiles back at her. "That's the spirit!" he says, putting a supportive hand on her shoulder. "First we take care of our business with the ship, and then we try to contact your friends."

    They lower the ship's exit ramp and walk out into the crisp evening air.

    "And i'm sure my friends will be thrilled to see me too.." Mera says with apparent sarcasm, as she takes in her first view
    of a planet she's never seen before. "They'll probably be so happy they'll throw us a party."

    Gando doesn't miss a beat. "Very good my padawan, positive thinking, just like I taught you."


    ---------------------------------------------------


    It is midnight in the bedroom of Liandra Antross.

    She awakens suddenly, and for a moment she is almost still in her dream. She can swear she feels him laying beside her, but it's only for an instant and the sound of a still unfamiliar voice brings her back to reality.

    "Is everything all right, my Empress?" the muscular young slave asks, sitting up in bed beside her.

    She realizes at this moment she never even asked him his name. But no matter. He has served his purpose. "You may return to your quarters." she replies, as she gets of of bed,
    not even giving him a second glace as she says it.

    "Thank you my Empress." he says with a quick bow that as usual goes unnoticed, and he quickly does as he was told.

    She gets out of bed, and let's herself concentrate a moment just to be sure. She had let herself hope before..

    There's no mistaking it now. Even now, she could feel his presence in her mind. Aerax Revan had finally made his way back to the Sith Empire.

    She pours herself a glass of fine Enda
  7. DarthReven Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2005
    Hmm. Interesting. The empress Liandra was very interestng. Intruiging. She will pose to be an excellent character/villain. I can sense it. She somewhat reminds me of the woman Alema who corrupted Uliq.I dont know what it is specifically about her, but again, I can sense she will pose to be...dificult. She has a past with Revan, and the way she said it sounded like they had something together... His Darkside lover before Bastila and his redemption perhaps? I can not wait for more developments on her part.

    Anyways, I enjoyed the end.

    "She savors the taste of the red wine with a whole new perspective on what the future could bring. "

    That was my favorite line. It certainly made me want to read the next chapter as soon as possible...

    Still, it seems in my fascination with the new Sith Empire and its Empress, I forgot about good ol' Mera and Hk 46.5 HK was typical HK series, with a hillarious morbidity. Who cant love shooting meatbags?


    I also liked this quote.
    "Very good my padawan, positive thinking, just like I taught you."
  8. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    So... Empress Liandra. She sounds very intriguing. It will be interesting to see how things go when Gando meets up with her.

    Loved the interaction going on between Gando and Mera. They both seem to be comfortable with one another. Well done. These characters flow so well. :D

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  9. VashTheJedi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2006
    A pretty good post as always Obi. There! I posted something you happy now! :) At least i haven't called you out on the no hand sith holocron thing... yet!
  10. jaina_clan_solo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    Wonderful update as always!

    It looks like things just got a whole lot more complicated for Gando and Mera [face_worried] seeing as how the Empress knows he's there.

    "Very good my padawan, positive thinking, just like I taught you." [face_laugh] now what does this remind me of? :p

    the upcoming meeting with Mera's 'friends' could be an interesting one indeed. I can't wait to see what happens next!

    [:D] jcs
  11. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    hey [:D] ...oh, fabby update...I really like the sound of Liandra Antross....lol...well in an evil kind of way. [face_skull]

    Wonderful stuff between Gando and Mera as well - you write them so well.

    Bravo =D= :D
  12. Jherron Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 1, 2007
    Good update. It'll be good to see what happens next. :D
  13. Jedi_Drizzt Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2006
    star 1
    Sith Empress, huh? Cool. Can't wait to read more. [face_mischief] :D

  14. Amon_Amarth Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2005
    star 6
    Very interesting storyline you've developed here. =D= This Empress looks very interesting. [face_thinking] :)
  15. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    hello all! next chapter is on its way to completion.. i'm going to do my best to have it up by monday morning!

    DarthReven- you initial impression of empress liandra was correct esteemed mandalore! she will be VERY difficult person for gando star to deal with! you will be seeing some interesting developments on her part in the posts ahead..

    Wyojedi- i very much tried to show that the gando/mera relationship had developed as time passed.. obviously i skipped a great deal of their journey to the empire, so i'm trying to use their dialogue as a window of sorts to show how comfortable they are with each other.

    VashTheJedi- :eek: i'm shocked that you actually posted something! it's about time! so why haven't you posted in the aor yet?:p but seriously, i always appreciate your input to this story! now we'll just have to work on you posting more.....

    jaina clan solo- i knew you'd like that line:D [:D]

    Kestrel Kenobi- [:D] i believe that you chose this face well [face_skull] when talking about liandra antross! evil!!! evil woman!!!:p well, maybe she's not that bad? maybe she's a sweetheart but just misunderstood! yeah, i think that's it!

    Jherron- you'll see soon enough!:cool: glad you're enjoying!

    Jedi Drizzt- the sith empress will be pleased you said cool when talking about her!! it's not good to say bad things about her.. she gets upset. a very temperamental girl, i'd say! i think she has "daddy" issues..

    Amon Amarth- always good to see you fearless leader amon!:cool: hey, is this the first time i've replied to you as fearless leader obi? hm, i forget:p

  16. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    "I think the new ship is ugly." Mera says again as she and Gando make there way through the suprisingly busy business district of Wexis V.

    "Maybe you'll like it more when the actual ship is delivered and we don't have to judge by a worn display model?" Gando suggests.

    "I doubt it." she answers as she and Gando make their way though the crowd. "but that new droid you seemingly purchased on a whim... He seemed nice enough."


    Gando holds back a smile. "I'm sorry you feel that way, because while the new ship is soon to be our constant
    companion, that new droid isn't going to be around very long.."

    Mera thinks for a second, then sighs as she puts the pieces together. "Couldn't we get 46.5 to do that? I figured you be as eager to get rid of him as I am."

    Gando shrugs. "He is fit for the job. But he has too many other useful functions that I couldn't find in any of the
    local droids here. I actually would expect to find far better assassin droids in the Empire of the Sith."

    Mera laughs. "Well don't judge the place yet, you just got here!"

    "I'll keep that in mind." Gando replies back, enjoying how things are going now, and knowing it's not destined to last.

    -------------------------------------


    Bastila Shan waits impatiently at their house on Dantooine, bored and trying without success to make time go by faster. She notices that she still thinks of it as THEIR house. Even as long as he's been gone, she still thinks of it as his home too. Even though for all she knows, he has another home out there somewhere now. She has even started to consider the possibility that wherever he is, he's happy.

    Her feelings are rather mixed on that subject. She loves him, so of course she hopes that whatever he's doing, he's happy.
    She does know him well enough to know that he isn't truly enjoying himself. But she knows how strong he is too, and knows he is making the best out of any situation he's in. He might have missed her terribly at first, he might even still now, but it's feelings he has buried deep inside in order to do whatever it is he has to do in the Sith Empire. Sometimes she feels she knows him better then she does herself, and she is almost certain her assumptions are correct.

    But here she is, laying in bed, feeling miserable. She would like to sleep and try to pass a good chunk of hours at once, but her mind is too busy. She wearily gets up out of bed, not even sure what she is getting up to do.

    She flexes her new mechancial hand as she gets up and walks to the bedroom window.

    As far as mechanical hands go, it's about the best money could buy. It was attached easily enough, thank the Force for her doctor, and from what she has read, she is getting used to it quicker then the average person.

    She even trusted herself using it while drinking from her very expensive and very fragile tea set which she had acquired the last time she and Gando had visited her homeplanet of Telravin.

    Of course she doesn't normally use her left hand for anything but lightsaber combat, and it was probably wasn't a very smart
    idea for her to use her new left hand for something like that, but she is stubborn and has no problem admitting it. This new hand would not limit her in any way if she could help it, and if she wanted to use her left hand for handling her fragile teacup then she should be able to do it without hesitation.

    She continues to stare out the window, waiting for something to happen, not even sure what that something could be.

    They were leaving for the Sith Empire soon. The operative word for Bastila being SOON and not now. But she knew the wait
    was necassary. They would be gone a long time. Jolee had some things to take care of on his new home on Mannan. Dorak
    had a much delayed meeting with Master Vrook he had to attend to.

    Bastila had no reason for any delay. The only business she had to take care of was somewhere in the Sith Empire.

    They could not leave a moment too soon.

    -----------------------------------------


    Gando and Mera a
  17. DarthReven Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2005
    Nice post. I loved the Ebon Hawk referance... I did enjoy the last lines for Bastila as well. Only thing missing was a nice peice of witty banter with HK 46.5:p
  18. jaina_clan_solo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    A wonderful update [:D]

    Gando had a rather clever plan for getting rid of themselves... when all else fails fly straight into a black hole :p

    I feel really bad for Bastila, because waiting and being unable to do anything has got to be the hardest part for her.


    And I loved the last part of the post. :)

    [:D] write more!
  19. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Love the name of the new ship and the reference to the Ebon Hawk. Quite nicely done=D= And the way Gando got rid of the old ship was great! Poor RL 150 :(

    I really feel for Bastila. it must be tough to just sit and wait, knowing something has to be done but unable to do it at the moment.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  20. Amon_Amarth Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2005
    star 6
    Poor Bastila. :( You've portrayed her emotions perfectly, obi. =D=
    I like the name Swarthy Hawk. ;) It sounds like a smuggler's ship more than Ebon Hawk did :p butI guess that is good for camouflage. ;)

    Good chapter! :)
  21. Scoundrel1100 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2004
    star 2
    OBI!!! You know I've been following your work and replying via email instead of posting here, but I had to come out of retirement! This last chapter damn near got me all choked up! It was the last part, Gando "force-telling" Bastila he loves her, and her "sleeping peacefully for the rest of the night" that did it. That was an amazing moment! It was an awesome way to grip the emotions of the reader (well, this reader at least). Well timed, and exactly what Bastila needed, I must say that in that moment, not only did you know exactly what to do, but it just so happened that it was a great way to end the chapter too. LOVE IT!!! =D= =D= =D=

    So Gando and Mera are in the Sith empire now in the Swarthy Hawk, a new droid and waiting for Mera's contact. On top of that, the "queen bee" knows they're there and is probably looking forward to the struggle and the encounter. AND she gets up, dismisses a slave, and has a glass of wine. You do the uber-evil mastermind/leader thing very well. What an awesome picture you painted with that! She needs to be looking into a crystal ball and releasing a bunch of flying monkeys talkin' 'bout "I'll get you my pretty, and your little padawan too!" Great work there!

    Also, I just wanted to say that I (still) like how you develop your characters even in terms of their little nuances and thought processes. The bit with Bastila and her new hand drinking out of the fragile teacup and what she thought while doing it was good.

    Keep it up, Obi! Your writing skills have only gotten better and better the more we read! You're getting damn good at the craft of telling a story too! I mean it, Obi, you're getting good. If this was a book on the shelf, I'd buy two; one for me and one just to force someone else to read. They'd thank me for it. Peace.

    Scoundrel
  22. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    [:D]

    Really nice post. Have to feel sorry for Bastila wanting to get on and do things but having to wait. Loved the ending :D ...

    More soon please! [face_praying]
  23. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    thanks everyone![face_peace] i'm working on the new post, and it'll be up before too long!

    DarthReven- thanks esteemed mandalore! i'll have to work on getting some HK banter in soon!:)

    jaina clan solo- [:D] write more you say? i did! last night remember when... oh wait you mean more of this STORY!! i guess i'll have to work on that then:p

    WyoJedi- :_| poor RL150 indeed!! why must the droids always be the ones to suffer??:_|
    *wipes eyes* okay i'm fine now;)

    amon amarth- you got the idea!! a bit like the whole hiding in plain sight thing! we'll just have to see if it works out for them!

    Scoundrel1100- as usual, i'm very appreciative and flattered by your comments:) it really means a lot to me when you react to the story exactly like i want readers to react to it.
    and you're character is making his way into the story soon! i'm thinking he'll at least get a mention in the next chapter!

    Kestrel Kenobi- i can never make things easy for bastila can i? well, i suppose as you pointed sorta pointed out, the ending was pretty decent for her! thanks as always![:D]
  24. Jherron Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 1, 2007
    This was a good update. I'm still wondering, however, what kind of friend Mera is speaking of.
  25. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    Jherron-- her old friends is her friends from the sith empire, from the rebellion she was a part of.. perhaps i didn't make that clear enough[face_thinking]

    anyway, i just wanted to say i'm still alive:p i've had quite a lot going on of late, and took a break from fanfic.. but i'm gonna really try to get back in the swing of things again. so.. stay tuned! and that goes for my fanfic reading as well... so if i read your stories and i'm behind... i'm gonna get there.. slowly but surely[face_peace]
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