Before "A Knight's Tale" ( JA, Obi/Qui)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ithesock, May 23, 2005.

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  1. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    A product of my insane imagination. Read it, and weep. :D

    *************

    A Knight's Tale

    Helgorn TerrHorr bent a stern eye at his victims, who lay cringing at his feet. One foot, firmly encased in a huge leather boot came down in a stamp beside their miserable heads, and he let out a roar that rumbled through the valley?thereby throwing the King, his prisoners, and even his faithful guards into throes of panic.

    ?Please, Lord Helgorn the Terrible,? began the King, whose eyes were wide with terror. ?Do not punish him. He has done naught??

    ?He hath done enough,? roared Helgorn, shaking with fury, and rolling a blood-shot eye in wrath. ?There ith no thule??

    Below Helgorn the Terrible, one of his victims, bound up in frayed cords of wire, looked up and shook his head. ?He can?t even get the words properly,? he frowned at the king. ?I told you he wouldn?t make a good Helgorn. Helgorn is terrible.?

    The King took off his crown?which seemed to be a remarkable collection of tree bark and leaves, and looked at the ?victim? in dismay. ?There?s no one else, and we?ve got make do with what we have,? he offered.

    The ?victim? scowled. ?At this rate?? He began, and was promptly cut off by his fellow victim, a female who was wriggling desperately. ?What?? he barked at her.

    ?Vines?cutting my hand,? she whimpered. ?Get them off.?

    ?Can?t. And Princess Fethla never cries, so be quiet.?

    ?Princess Fethla? at once indulged in a wail calculated to rouse the undead, upon which Helgorn the Terrible stamped his foot again. ?Don?th shouth,? he ordered. ?Or I will geth Jedi knighth to cuth off your thilly head.?

    ?You can?t!? proclaimed the princess, rigid with indignation. ?You?ve never seen a?a Jedi, and you wouldn?t know one if you saw him, and?and?? she paused, heaving. ?And get these vines off, you?you kaft!?

    The insult roused Helgorn the Terrible to such fury that he promptly abandoned all attempts at bravado, and cringed, looking down at the other victim?he who had admonished his style of speech, first. ?Whath do I do, Frieth?? he looked mournfully. ?Thee wanth the vineth off.?

    The golden-haired Frieth abruptly sat up, his small face full of irritation. ?She?s right, you are a kaft,? he shrieked. ?Don?t mind her, and her vines?you?re supposed to yell at us, and then torture us!? he directed a smouldering look at the King. ?And where?s the Jedi knight who?s supposed to save us?? He demanded.

    The King blinked. ?What Jedi?? As Frieth appeared ready to forget his status as a petrified victim of Helgorn the Terrible and ready to pounce on royalty, he beat a hasty retreat. ?He went to get mid-day meal,? he mumbled apologetically.

    Frieth bent an austere eye on him. ?Jedi knights don?t need food. They?they meditate and they fight,? he spoke with authority. ?They save the galaxy...?

    ?So when do they get to eat?? queried the baffled King, obviously interested.

    Frieth roared out in a voice which sent Helgorn shifting in his boots. ?They don?t need to eat, fried-face!? he paused, and looked at the red-faced ?princess?. ?As for you, Vana, you?d better lie still, and I?ll get you a Jedi.?

    Vana stopped wriggling. ?Oooh?who?? she asked succinctly.

    ?Me. I?m going to have to double up as the Jedi.? He stood up, wriggling out off the wires, and struck a pose. ?Here I come, Jedi Master Fin-took Pobble, to save the fair Princess Fethla, tea-rose of the Heavens,? he enunciated clearly, while the princess, Helgorn, the King, and all the guards stared at him, lost in admiration.

    ?Oooh,? was all Princess Fethla seemed capable of.

    ?Where?s your light-stick?? asked the ever-practical King.

    ?There ith a wiyah up your thleeve,? supplied Helgorn the Terrible.

    Jedi Master Fin-Took Pobble screamed in frustration.

    **********

    A ginger-haired young man, seated on a low mud wall a little apart from the proceedings, shook his head. ?If any Jedi Master ever raised his voice that much, he or she would be sentenced to a month?s so
  2. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Master Pobble indeed. That was adorable. I loved that you called it a Knight's Tale. The children were so funny as they went through the play and then the Jedi are discovered.

    Wonderful.
  3. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Most delightful!!! A wonderful way to start the morning.
  4. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    This is such a beautiful story. Fantastic to read :)

    Kithera
  5. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    That was cute!!! Well done! :D I truly enjoyed this lil fic! :D
  6. Musing Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2003
    star 2
    I guess there are limits as to how much the vaunted composure of the Jedi can take. [face_laugh]

    A really fun story, ithesock - reading it is a great way to start the morning.
  7. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I needed something just like this today! =D=

    Now, who the heck are you???
  8. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    That was incredibly good! [face_laugh] I loved the personalities of the children, and the reactions of the Jedi to their play. Wonderful.
  9. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    You should probably tell VaderLVR64 who you are before she bursts a blood vessel or something.... :D
  10. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    Finally, REALISTIC child characters! Well done indeed, sockie! :D And it is just the way little kids behave in the middle of a long play (playing with flowers, wandering around...)
  11. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    I loved Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan just watching the kids play and then feeling they needed to get into it. It was such a fun little viggie.

    I think I know who you are ...
  12. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    That was really cute! I love the children, how they made up a play, and then found out that Qui and Obi were Jedi. =D=
  13. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    That was absolutely adorable.
  14. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    dianethx, Healer_Leona, Kit', Kynstar, Musing, VaderLVR64, LuvEwan, Mistress_Renata, Master_Noi, Jedi_Tigris, PadawanKitara ...

    ...thank you, all. Glad you liked it. :). I always have a fit of jitters when I attempt humour - never know when it'll come out right...or when it'll fall flat.

    I like to make my kid-characters as realistic as possible - rather than make them out as infant prodigy-material, saving galaxies when they're two. They can be gifted, I think - anything beyond that would be terrible to behold. :D

    PS: Broke the suspense to VaderLVR64, before she had an attack of extreme nerves (what with RoTS and all). :D
  15. AnakinsHeir Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    =D= [face_laugh]

    Loved every word of it!

    Hey, Vader? Are you open to bribery?
  16. The_Hutt Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2004
    star 1
    Aw, what an awsome story! I was a little thrown off, at the first few lines. I definitely had a "Wha...?" moment. I enjoyed the way you portrayed the children- very realistic. I could imagine it perfectly in my head, each with different personalities.

    ?Tea-rose of the Heavens?? he murmured again, as the boy strode about in a swaggering walk. ?And if a Jedi walked like that??
    ?He would be afflicted with a dislocated hip,? Qui-Gon finished, lips twitching.


    I loved the banter between Obi and Qui, and Obi's attempts to get Qui to interact with the kids. Hilarious! And whether or not Qui-Gon will admit it, he certainly has a way with younglings... and their barely controlled laughter...we don't get to see that side of Qui-Gon very often. And you know, I'm going to have to start using the word blummished! [face_laugh]
  17. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    AnakinsHeir...thank you. No, she's exremely strong-willed, and won't tell. [face_laugh]

    The_Hutt...glad you liked it. I was hoping for the 'Wha...' moment, when I started it. :D. Yup, I was hoping to highlight the lighter-side of Qui-Gon...the one I'm sure he adopted with younglings. [Image of Qui jigging about with Anakin on his shoulders immediately after the pod-race] - it's not a side we see often, which is why I thought I'd go for it. Thank you. :)
  18. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    That was splendid! Absolutely splendid! The kids were very realistic. That's just the way my little sisters act when putting on a play for us. :D

    I loved the names, and the exasperation, and the finale, and everything! Also liked that they figured out who Obi and Qui were.

    Lovely little fic. I'm so glad you're writing!
  19. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    Thank you, may. Yes, kids are like that, aren't they? :D

    Glad you liked it. :)
  20. LadyPadme Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2002
    star 5


    Somehow, I thought I'd replied to this, but I apologize for my delay.

    I just wanted to say that I found this vignette adorable, and I particularly enjoyed the fact that it was angst/violence free, just a moment in the lives of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan when they could just enjoy life around them, and appreciate that innocence still exists in the galaxy.

    Very refreshing vignette :)
  21. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    Thank you, LadyPadme - I really appreciate your comments. Guess I just wanted to show a peaceful moment in the lives of one of the most turbulent master- padawan pairs in Jedi history :D . I think that's how these two would have reacted to a bunch of kids play-acting, anyway. :)
  22. Seven Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2000
    star 3
    Ah! Master ithesock!

    ~pounces~

    I'm so sorry! I don't know how I missed this! It's just not fair! ~settles down for a good moping session and pouts~

    But that will have wait until later!

    ~dances a little happy jig~

    Another wonderful peice by my favorite!

    It was again masterfully written with a flare that is uniquely your own.

    The younglings where perfect! I just wanted to go and hug them all, they were just soooo cute!

    And I must again say that I adore the banter and easy going love that you create between Qui and Obi. It's just the way that I see thier relationship flowing. It was just perfect!

    ~ponders~

    And then the end was just to sweet. Qui and Obi telling Jedi tales to the young ones.

    Again, a masterful work of writing.

    Can I be cheeky enought to ask for a new story soon?

    With all Devotion,
    Seven
  23. Alybrylla Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    This was absolutely wonderful. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were perfect... and those kids! [face_laugh]

    I haven't had the best day, and this definitely cheered me up. Thank you. :)
  24. darshaassant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 2
    AHAHAHAHA! This is great! Couldn't stop laughing throughout the post! blummished. LOL!
  25. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    Ah, little Seven...found this one too, did you ( :D) ? Thank you. Certainly you may ask for another one -even if you might have to wait a while to get it. :)

    Alybrylla...so glad this little fic could cheer you up. Hope your days get better after this. Thank You. :)

    darshaassant... thank you. :)
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