A late April Fools day challenge....

Isn't it always the way that you get the best ideas after the event?

So, this is my late April Fools challenge. In keeping with the silliness of the day, the challenge itself is a rather odd one.

Normally in fanfic we go out of our way to avoid mary-sues (well, most of us do *grin*). This time I'm inviting you to create the most Mary-Sueish character you can. Your story can be a humor piece, or a 'serious' one...but the main character *must* embody the elements of a true Mary Sue. If you need help, see Melyanna's fantastic article on Mary

Kithera

P.S: I know we already have a Writer's Challenge up for April. However, this was too good to let go.

 

Blast from the Past -- A Drabble


The conference room windows burst inward, and a dark shape rolled through the hole. It stopped next to Amidala and struck a heroic pose. "Sorry I'm late."

The Senator gasped, sweat breaking out on her brow. "Aexos?"

He turned toward her, his piercing blue eyes staring into her soft brown. "Eh oh, ducks," he said, his voice smooth, confident. "It's good to see you again, Padme."

Amidala's knees started to go weak, and Aexos caught her about the waist. "Why," he asked, "did we ever break up?"

"You had three systems exterminated on a whim," she told him.

"Ah, right."

 

Is there any length limit to this, word amount or such?

 

This sounds great, Kit'.

 

No, no word limit. Short if you want to post it in this thread but if you want to post a longer story and link it then that is cool too.

Fantastic post Drango-Fett. Loved Aexos! Maybe he needs to do more though, like be winning the international singing contest and much more description of his dark liquid green eyes and flowing black hair.

Kithera

 

Win a singing contest and dare suggest he might be better than our beloved Emperor? [Great, now I have this image of Palpatine with a Nero complex, going from planet to planet entering contest after contest (and always winning), right through to him screaming "Oh, what an artist dies with me!" after Vader throws him over the railing.]

 

Title: The Legacy of Crum
Summary: In response to Kit's April Fools Day Challenge- Mary Sue.
Notes: OC.
Author: Sara Kenobi




***



Jedi Knight, Thedia Crum, was the most brilliant, cunning Jedi, that ever grasped a lightsaber with such grace, beauty, and skill.

All who knew Thedia depended on her guidance; even the most skilled Jedi Masters, as Thedia not only believed that she knew everything, and was the heavens gift to the Order, but indeed she was all these things.

"Bow before me, I'm your glorious Jedi Goddess. I'm perfect in every way, and you're all nothing," Thedia would claim smugly. "I know all Darkness and Light. I am your perfect Queen," Thedia would cry into the stars of space. "You all must love me because of this. I will stop at nothing until I have my way."

Thedia believed in nothing but herself, and hated all that didn't follow her completely or weren't blind in their devotion to her.

Thedia Crum had her own following in the darkest hours; only few believed that this, woman, this excuse for a Jedi Knight, held answers to everything in their life's.

Slowly, everyone began to see the truth, that she was truly, nothing.

Thedia Crum then vanished into her own darkness and was never seen again.

The people were free.

***

 

I write a whole short story for my character. I felt that was the best way to get all her Mary sue-ishness in. You can see it here: Willful Egde: the Story of Meria Arella Tharen.

 

Ooh, these are always way too much fun to pass up! If I'm not too late I'll have a go...



Sue's Last Adventure

"But I'm beautiful...you have to let me have whatever I want. See?"

The Author moaned and beat the keyboard. Her fist landed squarely in the middle, sending jumbled-up words and letters everywhere. Sue was almost knocked backward by the force of the hit, but she calmly brushed the ertiudfhgbs out of her raven-black hair and fixed the Author with a stare.

"You're just jealous because I'm prettier. My hair is raven-black and yours is just brown. My eyes have a different colour for each day of the week and yours don't. I have a perfect face, ruby-red lips..."

"Would. You. Shut. Up." The Author was getting agitated now. "This isn't fair! You started off a great character. You had flaws. Now you're just a Mary Sue. You fell to the Dark Side!"

"Yeah, and became the only Sith to have a pink lightsabre," Sue said with satisfaction. "And Anakin Skywalker fell so hopelessly in love with me that he abandoned that dumb Senator, redeemed me and ran off with me to Alderaan with me. And we blew up the Death Star. And Han had been trying to flirt with me, and drove the Millenium Falcon into a moon when he realised I was taken." She delicatly wiped a tear from her eye with a deadly, long, painted, perfectly manicured fingernail. "Any chance you could bring him back? I miss him a bit."

"No way! I'm not bringing him back so he can kill himself over you again. Character assasination. That's what it's called-"

"I was a great assasin," Sue said, a grin spreading across her never-to-be-wrinkled face. "I killed Boba Fett after he fell in love with me. And I killed Darth Maul, too, and stole his double-bladed lightsabre and became an expert with it..."

"Oh, for pity's sake..."

"I'm the best at everything. That's why you have to..."

"No, no, no and no!" the Author snapped. "Why couldn't you have just stayed as a Jedi? That was what you were supposed to be. I should have known better. I gave you too much power..."

"Oh, being a Jedi was fun!" Sue said brightly. "But some of them were awfully strict. They didn't like me having boyfriends." She pouted. "But I proved them wrong, didn't I? I saved the entire temple from those nasty teddy bear thingies, suffering terrible loss and pain and demonstrating the best kind of self-sacrifice throughout. And Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were both so grateful that they..."

"Stop it right there! I've had enough of this." Sue suddenly felt something sharp poke her in the back. It was a cursor.

"With this, I can click on any file that ever contained a trace of you...and destroy it forever."

Sue's face turned a shade paler. Her eyes flashed multiple colours before finally settling on purple.

"You can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm in all your stories. Even in the really good ones I had a brief cameo. You loved me. You couldn't let me go." she said sadistically.

There was no sound from the Author. Sue hoped she wouldn't hit the keyboard again.

"Fine. FINE. I loathe you with a passion now, but you can stay."

Sue smiled wickedly, although she still looked coruscant-shatteringly sweet, beautiful and innocent.

"Good. I have a request. As I've mentioned."

"What is it?" The Author's tone was resigned now. "You want to make Leia a Dark Jedi, then go back in time, kill her and marry Han? You want to be a Sith who kills Yoda, but then you're so sorry and you act so sweet and kind and gentle that they decide you can just be head of the Jedi Order anyway? You want to be dating Obi-Wan, but then you both fall through a portal to Middle-Earth and you're forced to choose whether Obi-Wan or Legolas will be your One True Love?"

"That's quite a good one," Sue said "but that's not what I want. I want to rule the galaxy."

"What?"

"The Star Wars galaxy, obviously, not yours." Sue gave a pretty little laugh that made birds from miles away perk up and fly towards the house, smash into th

 

LOL!

female_obi_wan, that was absolutely BRILLIANT!

*dies laughing*

 

LOL female_obi_wan!

I think my favorite line was the one about holding off battle droids with a hairbrush and bottle of polish remover. I'm particularly susceptible to author-character argument pieces so I loved this one. The author certainly won that one though.

Have you read My Hero by Tom Holt? It's a very funny author-character interaction book.

KD

 

Oh, female_obi_wan! Sue's Last Adventure was a hoot!

That was great. It reminded me of those classic old Looney Tunes episodes where Bugs or Daffy would endure being messed with by the pencil (or paint brush), with the artist altering their appearance while as they bickered about it.

 

That was GREAT !!!

 

Thanks you guys.

 

I do not know if I do her justice, for I am but a humble author. But I feel it is my duty to try.


Silver sheets of rain cascaded down the thirsty, dry land of Tattooine, braved the cold of Hoth, and got lost in the deep oceans of Mon Calamari. It dropped with the great waterfalls of Naboo, teased the swamps of Dagobah, and splashed the streets of Corellia. Every world in the Republic rained in unison, as though the weather itsself mourned the loss of the great, Maerisoo Kenobi. On Coruscant, where her funeral was held, billions crowded the streets, caring little for the rain that soaked their clothes and mingled with the tears running down their cheeks.

Only her closest friends and family were allowed in the Imperial Palace, to view for the last time the great woman whose beauty shamed the angels on the moon of Iego, made Princess Leia seem plain, and Mara Jade average. But through the gloom of the rain, tiny rays of sunlight fought their way through the clouds, forming a rainbow over the palace where Maeriesoo slept.

Jedi Master Luke Skywalker conducted the service, having to pause frequently when sobs constricted his throat. For he still remembered her encouraging words to him before he left to fight Darth Vader. She had been the one to point out to him that there was still good in his father, reminding him that even the smallest light in the deepest darkness, was worth fighting for. After the battle on Endor, she had stood beside him when he had seen the spirits of his father, Yoda, and Ben. She had seen them too, and her infectous smile caused them to glow an even brighter blue. Ben's especially, because she was his and Padme's daughter.

Maerie had been there to hold him after Callista left, and tell him that she had forseen an even greater love in his life. She had been a great Seer, after all, making Master Yoda seem little more than a palm reader. Even her own death had not been hidden from her, but she walked into it willingly, for she would never go against the will of the Force.

Her intelligence surpassed that of Admiral Thrawn, and had she not been in a coma for four years during that period of time, she would have outsmarted him faster than he could read a painting. And Luke could never forget how his shot had actually missed destroying the Death Star, and the Alliance was saved by Maerie shooting behind him, but she had allowed him to take the credit. She never wanted glory for herself.

Even though Maerie had only been his half sister, Luke loved her as much, if not more, than Leia. She had truly blessed his life.

In the audience, her other half brother, Lando Calrissian, wept unashamedly into his wife's shoulders. Maerie had been the most virtous and beautiful sister he could ask for, and she had never judged him for his scoundrel ways. If she had not been there the day when Han Solo came to Cloud City, to gently reprimand him for betraying his friend and her cousin, he didn't know if he ever would have had the strength to go against Darth Vader. He owed his continuing friendship with Han, his life, and his very soul to her.

Lando closed his eyes, remembering the day when the Vong had taken their entire fleet against the Republic, almost completely depleting their forces. Knowing what she must do, Maerie had hugged him goodbye, and taken off in a battered old X-wing to negotiate a truce with the Vong. They were so overcome with her beauty that they did not kill her right off, and had watched in awe as she healed their Shamed Ones. Tsavong Lah knew then that there was no way he could defeat a people from where such a great person had emerged. And, he also knew, that he could offer no greater sacrifice to the Gods. So, in exchange for a truce, Maerie gave her life.

And through the gift of her life, and tragedy of her death, she had unified two galaxies.

Inspired by that thought, Lando lifted his head, knowing deep down in his heart, that Maerie would not want him to cry over her.

Suddenly a feeling of deep shame coursed th

 

!!! Great viggie, luney!

 

Loved it!